COACHING AND ORGANIZING A Hidden Approach to Hoarding By: Terina M. Bainter Overview Which clients this organizing/coaching style of communication best supports? Where to start in a hoarded home What are the first steps in that area What changes happen in the brain with coaching How all the parts came to be 1
Organizing: or gan ize VERB organizing (present participle) arrange into a structured whole; order: "organize lessons in a planned way" synonyms: (put in) order arrange sort (out) assemble marshal put straight 2
Pens, pencils, scissors, tape, markers, post it notes, rubber bands, paper clips, etc. LABEL!! LABEL!!L ABEL!! Our mission is to provide education, research and strategies to benefit people challenged by chronic disorganization 3
4
Coach Approach for Organizers teaches coaching is a partnering communication process of awareness, action and learning. Coaching speaks to our clients Openings for Change, by clarifying values, motivation and what matters most. It s both compassionate and challenging. It promotes big dreams and personal responsibility. 5
Definition of coach: an advisor who helps people make decisions, set and reach goals, or deal with problems The skill is in not telling the client what to do, but in asking questions in a way so that the client finds their own best answers Telling/Leading Questions Have Haven t Would Wouldn t Do Don t Does Doesn t Was Wasn t Has Hasn t Did Didn t Are Aren t Is Isn t Should Shouldn t Were Weren t Can Can t Asking/Probing Questions What would you like to tackle /talk about today? What are your goals? Where do you see this going? How do you want this to turn out? It seems like this is important to you Give me some background What did you mean when you said? Say more about that? Keep going What Else? What s holding you back? 6
IDEAL COACHING CLIENTS Clutter Level Scale Level of Awareness Readiness for Change Motivation Why now Curiosity Physical Ability Family/Friend Support Motivational Inter Maintenance Establishing Trust Awareness and Desire for Change Surroundings Clutter Blindness Mentions having to go buy something they know they have Wants reduction of stress Reaching out for help Asks questions Mentions needing to get organized Many make comments like my house is a mess but I m not like those people of TV May have recently started a diet (again) May not invite people over Client Comfort Level Ability to be vulnerable Inviting a stranger into the home Level of Trust Level of Anxiety Deciding the goal day? Determine desire/willingness/ability MI Teaching Coaching Make the goal doable Ie: The Whole Kitchen vs counter All or nothing Perfectionist Work in an area to a point of completion Maintenance Teach the smallest steps Watch for fatigue Cognitive ability to make decisions Not letting items go as easily Irritable Quick movements Quiet/more talkative Focus on the smallest progress Be a Cheerleader Remind them of the progress Create rewards 7
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON COACHING BY: ANN BETZ, CPCC, PCC Left Brain Symbolic Language Linear Processes Right Brain Emotions Many aspects of means Understanding ***Metaphors are one of the most effective ways to move someone into greater understanding because it bridges the right and left hemisphere with both images and language of the brain Oxytocin is released when trust and empathetic relationships are formed however: Small amounts of uncertainty generates and error in the orbital frontal cortex. In a state of uncertainty our brains are more susceptible to an amygdala hijack, this allows the limbic system to flood other parts of the brain with norepinephrine. When the prefrontal cortex receives a strong influx of this creates the classic fight, flight or freeze response. norepinephrine Neuroplasticity - building new neural pathways Habits take 21 days to form Being asked (not told) activates the Positive Emotional Attractor where measureable brain activity indicates emotional openness, increased creativity and enhanced visual perception. People who feel more connected to others have lower rates of anxiety and depression, higher self-esteem, and more empathetic to others, and are more trusting and cooperative. Appropriate humor triggers reward centers, and releases dopamine which engages and sharpens the brain. 8
Self Referential Listening (we all do it) - At about 17 seconds we begin asking ourselves what does this mean to me? This is when most people interject or interrupt. Mirror Neurons - Neurons that fire both when one acts as well as when one observes the same action performed by another. They function below the conscious processing. This can give us that gut feeling or hard to put a finger on sense of rightness or wrongness. Active listening - Activates the reward system The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences, but like Teflon for positive ones Rick Hanson - psychologist Continuum The Whole Client: Coaching Organizing Motivational Interviewing Brain Based Skill Building 9
10