Building and Maintaining Effective Relationships Jamie Marsh Director of Career Services Wisconsin School of Business 1
Goals of Today s Discussion Define the key attributes of effective relationships Learn about a research-based Emotional Intelligence (EI) framework for working with others Apply the framework to your personal and professional life 2
Who I Am 3
Relationships: Bridges to Success Platform to showcase talent and sell product to the world Training and development opportunities Guidance and wisdom of roads already traveled Opportunities that are impossible to obtain or achieve on your own Get things done: productivity and meaningfulness 4
What are attributes of effective professional relationships? 5
Key Attributes of an Effective Relationship Self-awareness (strengths and limitations) Acceptance Trust/Honesty Respect Openness/Vulnerability Mutual Benefit Empathy Kindness Commitment Values Alignment 6
Relationships in Action Procter & Gamble English candle maker and Irish soap maker Father-in-law encouraged joint business following competition Why they were successful (motivation/shared vision) Placed company s welfare above their own by selling personal assets to build a factory and focused on quality and cost savings Appreciated one another s strengths and understood their own weaknesses 7
Relationships in Action Google Stanford PhD program students Relationship got off to a rocky start during a doctoral student tour of campus led by Larry Page Why they were successful (relatability/trust/respect) Shared passion for technology Trust built to enable tough conversations Visionary alignment 8
What are your examples? 9
What are the key factors that impede relationships? 10
Key Factors that Impede Relationships Lack of mutual benefit Deceit, mistrust or disloyalty Disrespect Miscommunication or silence Lack of understanding or shared values Competition or destructive criticism Lack of motivation Unclear value proposition or lack of perceived value 11
Challenged Relationships Facebook Concerns between Eduardo Saverin and Mark Zuckerberg arose Why they were unsuccessful (motivation/alignment/trust) Lack of shared vision and alignment of where to take the company Perceived lack of motivation by Saverin Zuckerberg s actions developed mistrust and ultimately led to legal action 12
What are your examples? 13
Managing Difficult Relationships Don t make assumptions or biased judgments Get to know the person Background, interests, past successes Engage in a genuine conversation 1:1 Be open and open-minded Find commonalities Share your needs and expectations when ready Utilize HR resources when needed 14
Emotional Intelligence Emotional intelligence (EI) or emotional quotient (EQ), is the capacity of individuals to: recognize their own and other people's emotions discriminate between different feelings and label them appropriately use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior. 15
Emotional Intelligence 16
Emotional Intelligence Self-Awareness: Knowing one s emotions, strengths, weaknesses, goals, values and their impact on others Hallmarks: Knowing and accepting yourself as you are Self-confidence Realistic self assessment Seeing yourself as others see you (feedback) 17
Articulating Your Values Autonomy Dependability Growth Loyalty Risk Taking Beauty Diversity Happiness Open-Minded Security Challenge Effectiveness Health Passion Service Communication Empathy Honesty Patience Simplicity Competence Engagement Hope Power Spirituality Competition Empowerment Humor Productivity Strength Courage Equality Independence Quality Success/Wealth Creativity Family Innovation Recognition Teamwork Curiosity Freedom Intelligence Respect Trust Decisiveness Friendship Love/Affection Responsibility Wisdom 18
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Emotional Intelligence Self-Regulation: Controlling or redirecting disruptive emotions and impulses Hallmarks: Trustworthiness Integrity Comfort with ambiguity and change Thoughtfulness and reflection 20
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Emotional Intelligence Motivation: Being driven to succeed for the sake of achievement (intrinsic motivation) Hallmarks: Passion for the work itself and for new challenges Continuous improvement Optimism in the face of failure 22
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Emotional Intelligence Empathy: Considering others feelings, especially when making decisions Empathy vs. sympathy Hallmarks: Effectively managing crisis Ability to develop others Sensitivity to cross-cultural differences 24
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Emotional Intelligence Social Skill: Managing relationships to move people in desired directions Hallmarks: Effectiveness in finding common ground Regulated influence Support system Expertise in building and leading teams 26
Key Attributes of an Effective Relationship Self-awareness (strengths and limitations) Acceptance Trust/Honesty Respect Openness/Vulnerability Mutual Benefit Empathy Kindness Commitment Values Alignment Others? 27
Emotional Intelligence Tools How Good are your People Skills? https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newtmm_36.htm Quiz: Test your Emotional Intelligence https://hbr.org/2015/06/quiz-yourself-do-you-leadwith-emotional-intelligence Strengths Finder Myers-Briggs Type Indicator 28
Putting EI Into Action Awareness of what you contribute and what you need - mindfulness Communication Establishing expectations and goals Clarifying value propositions Resolving conflicts through meaningful dialogue Relationships need to be nurtured Regular assessment of mutual benefits 29
Action Steps What key take-aways will you put into practice to help you build and maintain meaningful relationships moving forward? 30
Thank You! 31