PODS FORUM GUIDELINES SUMMARY 1. The purpose of the Forum is to equip, strengthen and support its members in coping with dissociative symptoms. The ethos of the Forum is about promoting recovery and wellbeing. It is not intended to replace professional individual therapy. 2. The Forum is for adults aged 21 and over. The Forum is intended for survivors with a Dissociative Disorder (in particular but not exclusively those with DID) as well as supporters in terms of partners/therapists etc. 3. The Forum is for adult parts/alters of a DID person s team or system. This is in order to maintain healthy boundaries between everyone and to avoid attachment problems developing. It is not appropriate for child or teenage parts/alters to post on the Forum. 4. Members are required to take responsibility for ensuring that all their posts follow the specific posting guidelines, which includes not posting any graphic details of their abuse, not posting details of suicide or self-harm and not posting anything that insults, attacks or threatens another member or other individual. 5. These guidelines have been developed over time and with experience, in order to keep the Forum safe and healthy, and will be reviewed regularly and revised where necessary. 6. If you do not agree to these Guidelines then please do not access and/or use the Forum. PODS reserves the right to remove a user s access to the Forum if these Guidelines are not followed. PURPOSE OF THE FORUM The purpose of the Forum is to equip, strengthen and support its members in coping with dissociative symptoms. The Forum is intended to be a safe place for sharing information and insights, and discussing ideas on living with and recovery from dissociative symptoms. It aims to break the isolation and shame often surrounding DID by showing that others suffer similar symptoms as a result of similar experiences and that these symptoms are not as a result of innate flaws in our characters, as we are inclined to believe, but a common reaction to extreme circumstances, and can be overcome. The Forum is not a place for posting details of past abuse. It is also not a place which celebrates, sensationalises or emphasises the multiple personalities aspect of DID. The Forum is about promoting recovery and wellbeing in all aspects of life. The Forum is for members to share ways of managing and overcoming the difficulties that dissociation and trauma causes, and to provide mutual encouragement in our individual journeys toward healing and recovery. The Forum is moderated by a number of volunteers, who are themselves survivors or supporters and users of the Forum. Perhaps unlike other forums, the moderators are not here to enforce rules or censor every post. We encourage each member to be responsible for ensuring their own posts follow the Guidelines as we do not want to encourage the unhealthy dynamic of the moderators being treated as authority figures or parent figures. The role of the moderators is to monitor the overall atmosphere and assist in maintaining balance on the Forum. The Forum encourages all members to take responsibility for keeping the Forum a safe place and to support each other in following the Guidelines. Any suggestions or advice given by any member, regardless of their professional credentials, is not to be construed as professional advice. The Forum is not intended to be a substitute
for individual therapy. We strongly encourage all members to seek appropriate face-to-face therapy. The Forum is intended for mutual support and encouragement and members are not responsible for caring for any other member on a 1-1 basis. We recognise that the aims and purposes of this Forum will not suit all people. There are other online forums which operate differently and we encourage people to make a choice about what is right for them. The Forum seeks to welcome and support all its members, but it is the responsibility of individual members to decide if what we are offering is suitable for them. WHO THE FORUM IS FOR The Forum is for adults aged 21 and over. The Forum is intended for survivors with a Dissociative Disorder (in particular but not exclusively those with DID) as well as supporters in terms of partners/therapists etc. The Forum is intended to support and equip the adult parts/alters of a DID person s team or system. This is in order to maintain safe and healthy boundaries between everyone and to avoid attachment problems developing. We understand that everyone has a different way of organising and understanding their own team and perhaps have a combination of child, teenage and adult parts. There are probably also parts where the age is unknown. We fully appreciate the validity and importance of developmentally younger parts of a DID person s team, but within PODS we are not looking to provide an outlet for such parts. We fully support all parts being allowed a voice, but in order to provide the secure attachments needed, we believe this must be in the context of therapy or a safe partner/supporter relationship. We believe that an online forum is not a safe place for child or teenage parts and it is therefore not appropriate for such parts to use this Forum. Whilst we recognise that each person with DID might have differing levels of awareness and control between parts, we believe the adult parts of a DID person s team need to take responsibility for keeping the whole team safe. The Forum encourages each person to respect and protect their parts, rather than exposing them to the outside world. Forum members are in fact complete strangers and whilst we hope that all members are of good intent, we cannot ever totally ensure that. Therefore we need to protect younger and vulnerable parts just like we would with real-life children. We believe that taking responsibility and putting in safe boundaries around yourself are really important parts of the healing and recovery process. We are also aware that survivors in general have not had much opportunity to learn how to do this. The boundary of no younger parts posting is a vital element of this. We encourage adult parts to take responsibility for getting in touch with the feelings, needs and opinions of younger parts and representing them here. Apart from anything else this models good communication skills and parenting for younger parts, where someone values and is responsible for them and they are not left being responsible for themselves with no adult support. In the case of a survivor and their supporter both joining the Forum, we ask that each person takes responsibility for themselves and their individual posts. Neither person is to share information about the other without their consent. As far as possible, we ask each person to keep their posts about their own issues. It is also not appropriate for two such people to use the Forum to communicate with each other. If you have any questions or concerns about your specific situation please contact Elisabeth : elisabeth@pods-online.org.uk. 2
SPECIFIC POSTING GUIDELINES Crisis situations The posting of suicide notes, suicide plans or any other indication of the intent to attempt suicide or self-harm is not acceptable, nor is the posting of descriptions of selfharm activities. Discussion of the struggles with self-harming behaviour, in order to share helpful ways members have found in dealing with this, is appropriate. However, any posts that appear to blame, attempt to shift responsibility for personal actions/ behaviour or demand action by PODS or any individual member (as in "help me, talk to me, or I will ") are unacceptable. Neither PODS nor any individual member of the Forum is equipped to handle crisis situations. Members who find themselves in these situations are encouraged to get appropriate help from real live support avenues. Graphic content Graphic content including descriptions of incidents of abuse or self-harming behaviour past or current is not permitted. A graphic description is writing which paints a vivid enough picture in the reader s mind to cause personal distress. Triggering content We recognise that different things are triggering for different survivors, and we do not want members to end up warning about every word. Each member must take responsibility for keeping themselves safe on the Forum, but we do ask members to be mindful of others. Where necessary leave a couple of blank lines, type * * * Might be triggering * * * then a few more blank lines, and then continue with the post. We want to give people the option of knowing what is coming up, like a warning that there is ice on the road. It says "Take care!" and so you can adjust your speed, be more aware or even take a different road to avoid a crash. That is what we are asking everyone on this Forum to do to warn each other of ice on the road ahead. Communication on the Forum When communicating online with just the written word, subtle cues like tone of voice and body language are absent. Therefore choosing your words carefully when posting is highly recommended. After you have written a post, but before you submit it, you might want to read through it, seeing it as someone else might. Likewise, when you read a post and find it personally upsetting, you might want to have another read, or ask the poster to clarify what they meant. Differences and Disagreements In a community as diverse as ours, we may find ourselves strongly disagreeing with or perhaps even disliking another member of the Forum. If you find this happening to you, you can choose to ignore a post with which you have strong negative feelings, and perhaps all other posts by that member. You can also express your own opinions. However, your differences need to be expressed with respect for the other person. The expression of hostility and ill-will towards members will not be tolerated. It is not acceptable to blame others or make threats such as "it s this forum s or member s fault / if this doesn t happen I will leave / you ll be sorry if I leave" on the Forum or to any individual member. Where possible the Forum encourages all members to take responsibility for keeping the Forum a safe and welcoming place. However if you have a serious concern about a post or another member of the Forum, then please contact one of the Moderators. 3
Safety on the internet Safety on the internet mandates that we take exceptional care with private details of people s lives. We do not allow posting of phone numbers, addresses, or other important private information. Also, please avoid posting about the details of others issues and problems without their permission. Whilst PODS is not responsible for any communication between individual members of the Forum, we do recommend that you are cautious in sharing personal information with others through the Private Messaging service or through email. Personal boundaries In any group the setting and enforcing of personal boundaries is likely to be an issue from time to time. In addition, the majority of survivors were taught that taking care of themselves was selfish and contrary to what they should do. The Forum seeks to support members to respect each other s personal boundaries and their legitimate right to choose how they will participate on this Forum. Posting to a specific member to ask for help through a crisis or to listen to a recount of specific memories of abuse goes contrary to the ethos and mutual support nature of the Forum and is not acceptable. It is also not appropriate to address posts to individuals as it tends to put the named individual under unreasonable pressure to read and respond. Whilst at times you may wish to make use of the Private Messaging service, it is important to note that recipients of private communications need not feel under any obligation to accept or respond if they do not choose to do so. Post Removal The moderators role is not to censor every post, and the Forum encourages all members to take responsibility for keeping the Forum a safe place and to support each other in following the Guidelines. However there may be times where it is necessary for a post to be removed by the moderators or PODS admin. Some of the specific reasons why a post may be removed include, but are not limited to: Posts that use obscene, racist or sexually explicit language Posts that suggest or encourage illegal activity Posts that defame, insult, attack or threaten (implicitly or explicitly) Forum members, including moderators, or any other identifiable individual Posts that are of direct or general insult to any particular person, gender, gender identity, sexuality, religion, race, or nationality. Moderators cannot be available at all times to monitor the Forum or to immediately respond to requests for action on any material reported as objectionable and/or in breach of these Guidelines. It is therefore acknowledged that all posts express the views and opinions of the author and PODS accepts no liability for the content and opinions expressed on the Forum by the individual members. DATA PROTECTION As a member of the Forum, you agree to keep your personal log-in details safe, not to disclose them or allow them to be used by any other individual. You agree not to post any material that is abusive, obscene, vulgar, slanderous, hateful, threatening, harassing, 4
sexually-orientated, contains graphic/explicit descriptions of abuse or self-harm or any material that may violate any laws (including copyright laws) of your country, the country where the Forum is hosted (UK) or International Law. Doing so may lead to you being immediately and permanently banned with notification to your Internet Service Provider if deemed required by us. As a user you agree to any information you have entered being stored in a database. While this information will not be deliberately disclosed to any third party without your consent (unless we are required to do so by due legal process), and we will take reasonable precautions to protect against any accidental disclosure, you agree that neither PODS nor our website and forum provider / host nor any agent authorised to act on our / their behalf shall be held responsible for any hacking attempt that may lead to the data being compromised. PODS Forum Guidelines This edition: 23 April 2015 5