Increase your Rapport skills in Health and Well-being, Business and Relationships by Nadine K. Cooper Present State Desired State RESOURCES
What you do speaks louder than what you say! NLP Individual Ecology Systemic Awareness Outcome Thinking Presuppositions Rapport Flexibility Behavioral Flexibility
Rapport The key to success and influence in both personal and professional life. It s about appreciating and working with differences. Acknowledges the unique individual they are. Get to the heart of the matter more quickly Deepen relationships with self and others. Provide tools to reestablish lost rapport. Preserves your time money and energy.
MAJOR PRESUPPOSITIONS OF NLP There will be exceptions to all of these presuppositions, but they are a very useful starting basis for communication and personal evolution. 1. Communication is redundant. You are always communicating, in all three major representational systems (visual, auditory, kinesthetic). a. As intuitive practitioners you are already responding to many of these redundancies 2. The meaning of your communication is the response that you get. Communication is not about what you intend, or about saying the right words; it's about creating an experience in, and getting a response from, the listener. The "bottom line" is the response you elicit. 3. The world view (map) is not the territory. People respond to their world view (map) of reality, not to reality itself. The map is based on what a person believes about their identity, their own values and values, as well as their attitudes, memories, and cultural beliefs. NLP is the science of changing these world views (maps) (not reality). 4. Resistance is only an indication of a lack of rapport. 5. There is no such thing as failure, only feedback. Every response can be utilized. 6. People work perfectly. No one is wrong or broken; it's simply a matter of finding out how they function now, so that you can effectively change that to something more useful or desirable. People don't need to be "fixed". 7. Requisite variety. The element in a system with the most flexibility will be the controlling element. 8. People always make the best choice available to them at the time. (But often there are lots of better ones.) 9. People already have all the resources they need. What they need is access to these resources at appropriate times and places. 10. Every behavior is useful in some context.
11. Choice is better than no choice. 12. Just about anyone can learn to do anything. If one person can do something, it is possible to model it and teach it to anyone else. 13. Chunking. Anything can be accomplished (by anyone) if you break the task down into small enough chunks. 14. Behind every behavior is a positive intention. While a behavior may be harmful or seem bad, there is always a positive intention behind the behavior. 15. We are all responsible for creating our own experience. Even when challenging events that we cannot control happen, we are responsible for our responses to these events. Typically, however, we have much more control than we think we have. Another way of stating this presupposition is that We consistently create our own environment through our beliefs, filters, capabilities and behaviors. 16. Direct observation, hearing and touching provide the most useful information. 17. Memory and imagination use the same neuron pathways and potentially have the same impact.
Rapport Rapport is like money, you don t think about it unless you don t have enough. Sympathetic relationship or understanding. It is trust, respect, and integrity. It is the foundation of Communication. If someone is in resistance to you, it is an indication that you do not have rapport. Rapport is gained by mirroring and matching (pacing). Mimicking is exaggeration, Mirror with integrity. Rapport shows up in the way you look, the things you say and how you say them. 38% Voice Tone Tempo Timbre Volume 55% Facial expression Gestures Body posture Dress Breathing Matching Mirroring 7% Common Experience Content Chunks Key Words Predicates
Breaking Rapport *Do it with consideration and integrity.. You are closing a deal Sales people walk away while you are signing paper so as to maintain rapport You have enough information and your brain is full. You need time to thing, sort, etc. You see someone else you want to talk to You are tired and want to go. You are getting into a tricky subject. What to do ü Move aware from them ü Break eye contact. ( be aware of turning your back) ü Change your voice intonation. (louder, softer, etc.) Remember the power of silence ü Breathe in when they are talking. ü Practice saying. Thank you, but that doesn t work for me.