How to empower your child against underage drinking

How to empower your child against underage drinking

There is a high chance that your teenage child has or will have an encounter with alcohol either through experimenting or through someone else s drinking. As a parent it is your responsibility to keep them safe from underage drinking by teaching them that alcohol is for adult consumption only and to equip them with the right tools and knowledge to say no to alcohol when they are away from your supervision. Teens have less physical tolerance to the effects of alcohol, and their brains which are still developing, are more susceptible to alcohol related harm. This means that as a parent, keeping them safe includes saying no to them using alcohol at home. The U.S. National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) stated in a 2010 publication that most studies show the benefits from allowing children to drink in the home or controlled environment are non-existent. In the same report, NIAAA cites a 1997 article from the Journal of Substance Abuse that says that starting to drink earlier increases the chances of developing alcohol problems. Here are some tips that will help protect your child from using alcohol: Listen to your children: The more open your relationship with your children is, the more likely it is that they will feel comfortable with talking to you about any issues, including alcohol. Listen to them, don t judge and let them know they can come to you and trust you. Teach them to deal with peer pressure: Give them some examples of how to say no without losing face. If your child is offered alcohol, here are some examples of what he or she can say, which includes using white lies that involve you or the other parent: No thanks. Not today, thanks. I don t like the way it (beer, wine, cider) tastes. I ll be grounded for life if my dad finds out I ve been drinking. My mom will not teach me how to drive if she finds out I have been drinking. I need all my brain cells for rugby practice (math test, homework) tomorrow.

If your child is offered alcohol, here are some examples of what he or she can do: Leave the scene Change the subject Laugh it off Teach them to say no to adults: They should learn to say no to adults who send them to the tavern or the shop to buy alcohol; or adults who offer them a taste or sip of an alcoholic drink and promise not to tell. Invest in recreational activities and in spending quality time with your children: Encourage your teens to take part in activities that develop interests and skills that will help them feel good about themselves without the use of alcohol. Hobbies, school events, sports, healthy relationships, and volunteer work are examples of such activities. Keep them busy with these recreational activities but don t pressure them to always be the best or to always win. Spend quality time with them by reading, playing board games or just chatting. Talk about substance abuse: If you don t tell them the facts, someone else will and the facts they get from friends are seldom true. Instead of waiting until a problem arises, talk to your teen about your concerns and the messages they may be getting from the media and their peers.

Know the facts and then teach them: Know the facts about alcohol. You can t expect your child to know the effects of alcohol on the body and the risks of alcohol misuse if you don t have all the information yourself. Be informed and ensure your teenager knows the effects of alcohol and the dangers it presents. Teens that use alcohol are three times more likely to be involved in violent crime. 67% of teens who drink before the age of 15 will go on to use illegal drugs. In 56% of reported rape cases, the victims have been under the influence of alcohol. Also teach them the basics about the different strengths of various alcohol products and how to compare different drinks in terms of the quantity of pure alcohol each contains. Remember that your child comes into contact with many myths and false facts about alcohol. Set the record straight: When abused, alcohol can be a very powerful drug that slows down the body and mind. It impairs coordination; slows reaction time; and impairs vision, clear thinking, and judgment. The adverse effects are worse for a teenager. Beer, ciders and wine are not safer than hard liquor. On average, it takes 2 to 3 hours for a single drink to leave a person s system. Nothing can speed up this process, including drinking coffee, taking a cold shower, or walking it off. People tend to underestimate how seriously alcohol has affected them. That means many individuals who drive after drinking think they can control a car but actually cannot.

Discuss what makes a true friend: Kids don t get drugs from strangers - they get them from friends. You must teach children that it s OK to say NO to friends. Peer pressure is more an internal issue seeing friends getting drunk and wanting to be like them. Explore the true meaning of friendship and how to spot a bad friend. Know who your child s friends are: Invite friends to your house to get to know them and meet their families, too. Know where your children are and who they are with. Set an example be the parent: If you smoke, drink or take drugs, your child is far more likely to do the same - behave responsibly and get help if you need it. This has to apply to other members of the family as well; have a clear family policy on substance use. Parents can inadvertently influence their children s alcohol use by denying or minimizing their own use or abuse of alcohol. On top of this, teens know adults use alcohol to relax, get rid of stress, or to socialise. The emotional climate in the home can also precipitate alcohol abuse. Inadequate parental involvement and lack of supervision puts teenagers at risk. Don t communicate to your child that alcohol is a good way to handle problems. For example, don t come home from work and say, I had a bad day. I need a drink. Let your child see that you have other, healthier ways to cope with stress, such as exercise; listening to music; or talking things over with your spouse, partner, or friend. Don t tell your kids stories about your own drinking in a way that conveys the message that alcohol use is funny, cool or glamorous. If anyone has had too much to drink at a party you have hosted, make arrangements for them to get home safely. Encourage choice: Allow your child from a young age to make his/her own decisions and choices.

Appeal to their self-respect: Let your teenager know that they are too smart and have too much going for them to need the crutch of alcohol. Teens are at the stage when they are self-conscious and are likely to pay attention to examples of how alcohol might lead to embarrassing situations or events things that might damage their self-respect or alter important relationships. Build your child s self-esteem: Teach your child to be his or her own best friend first by boosting their self-esteem. If your child feels good about him/herself, they are less likely to turn to drugs or alcohol for comfort: Offer praise for a job well done If they ve done something wrong, address the issue, don t criticise the child Give them tasks they can do Spend one-on-one time with your child Tell your child you love them Check up on your children: many parents work and are away during the day. Phone in to check on your children, to see they are where they should be. When talking to your child about their behaviour: Identify specific behaviour that makes you uncomfortable or concerned: Be specific when you come home late I get worried. Avoid accusations and generalisations that you can t back up. Discuss practical scenarios and consequences that they can relate to. You may lose your place on the team, you may lose your scholarship etc. Set clear rules: Make sure your teenager knows what the no-tolerance boundaries are and make sure you re consistent in enforcing them. For example, it would be confusing to your teenager if you let them drink at home and nowhere else. Be consistent.

Identify and express what you are feeling: If you express your own feelings first, your child will be less defensive about what you have to say. E.g.: I feel anxious and scared when you don t come home on time and I don t know where you are. Here are some words that may help: sad, lonely, scared, worried. Avoid laying on a guilt trip it s all my fault, I m a terrible mother it doesn t work. Come up with alternatives: Discuss new behaviours and negotiate alternatives with your child. Let them be part of this process. E.g.: If you are going to be late, SMS me. Learn to listen: We all want to be heard but sometimes parents forget to listen. Ask yourself whether you are hearing everything your child is saying or just what you want to hear. Don t judge your child there may be things he or she feels that you don t agree with, but they are allowed to feel that way. Remember: Be understanding Be firm Be supportive Remain calm and honest Be the parent Sources: South African Depression and Anxiety Group and the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism