Stress Prevention in 6 Steps S T E P 3 A P P R A I S E : C O G N I T I V E R E S T R U C T U R I N G

Stress Prevention in 6 Steps S T E P 3 A P P R A I S E : C O G N I T I V E R E S T R U C T U R I N G

6 steps overview 1. Assess: Raising Awareness 2. Avoid: Unnecessary stress; problem solving 3. Appraise Cognitive Restructuring 4. Accept: Mindfulness 5. Activate: Building resilience 6. Attune: Social Support: using emotional intelligence skills

Introduction This program is built on a surprising premise... Most people believe that stress is the result of outside forces they can t control. But in truth, a surprising amount of stress, maybe the #1 source of our stress is

Survey says: Our own thinking. Albert Ellis Quote: Mankind is the only animal that can think about his thinking.

Cognitive Restructuring: Changing the way you think about Stress Define cognitive restructuring Talk about your stress. Stress mediators A+B=C equation Five methods for changing your thinking during a stressful situation Using this approach to manage your stress

Most people believe that events & circumstances cause stress Hans Selye, defined stress as: your body s reaction to demands placed on it. It s not so much what happens to you but how you take it.

Definition of Cognitive Restructuring Cognitive = Thinking, knowing; relating to your perception. Restructuring= Reorganizing, rebuilding or changing. Cognitive Restructuring = Reorganizing the way you perceive the world. (syn.) reframing. Or: Changing the way you think during a stressful situation

The origins of Cognitive Therapy Developed by Dr. Albert Ellis and Dr. Aaron Beck Ellis and Beck focused on a patient s conscious thoughts. Dr. Aaron Beck Dr. Albert Ellis

These ideas have been around for over 2000 years: Epictetus: People are not disturbed by things but by the views they take of them. Marcus Aurelius: If you are pained by any external thing, it is not this thing that disturbs you, but your own judgement about it. Shakespeare: There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.

What s your stress? Make a list The difference between stress and stressors Is there a stressor that someone isn t bothered by?

Traffic jam Flat tire Meetings Difficult boss Deadlines Multiple bosses Angry customers Sick children Snow Losing things Arguments Car repairs Money issues College costs List of stressors

Stress mediators Stressors Stress You Experience Stress Sensitivity Sense of Control Cognitive Defenses Physical Coping Introduce next slide

How can we improve our cognitive defenses? Do the hokee pokee.

Mind is constantly running an inner dialog This is a stupid idea Do we have to do this? Who s idea was it to hire this guy? What could we possibly learn from doing the hokee pokee? I m going to talk to Turney at lunch about this guy This inner dialog goes on about EVERYTHING we do

Internal dialogue and negative self-talk We are constantly running a play by play commentary or what Plato called an internal dialogue inside our own heads that comments on the success, value, viability, truth, ease and difficulty of every single activity we engage in. A lot of this is negative Psychologists call this: Negative self-talk

Negative self-talk This situation is completely hopeless. Why does this stuff always happen to me? I ll never get this project finished on time.

Internal Dialog Can anyone guess what you might say to yourself the first time you try something new like skiing, or learning some new technology or acting in a play? Now imagine what your internal dialogue would be like if you made a mistake.

Negative self-talk I m going to make a fool of myself We have hundreds of negative thoughts a day It even includes negative self-talk about ourselves. I ll never amount to anything. I m a complete failure I m a terrible parent. So how do we stop it?

A+B=C

A+B=C The Activating event Plus Belief Equals the Consequence

A+B=C Flat tire is A Belief about tire is B How you feel inside is C

A+B=C Same A + Different B Whole different C

A+B=C Most People believe that A=C That a flat tire, a lost set of car keys, a traffic jam and an angry boss automatically equals stress. But now you realize that you have a choice. That you CHOOSE how you want to think at B.

A+B=C Introducing the letter D D stands for dispute or disputing your overly negative thinking. Where you exaggerate

How to change your thinking at point B Become aware of your negative self-talk Talk back to your negative thinking Keep your stress in perspective Shift your focus forward Avoid the blame game Practice being grateful

Cognitive defenses Talk back to your negative thinking; Disputing Listen for the words always or never Notice what isn t true

Cognitive Defenses Keep Your Stress in Perspective Will you even remember this in a week? Think of it on a scale of 1-100 At the end of the day, come back and solve your problem the next morning when you are fresh.

Cognitive Defenses Shift your focus forward When we re stressed we re problem-oriented We lose our creative problem-solving ability when we re stressed Say to your self: How can I solve this problem

Cognitive Defenses Avoid the blame game. When you blame other people for the bad things that happen to you hand over responsibility for fixing it to someone else Taking responsibility gets your control back.

Cognitive Defenses Practice Gratefulness Make a list of what you have to be grateful for. Treat other people well Make a point of thanking anyone for any thing.

A+B=C The Activating Event + your Beliefs = the Consequence An A+B=C sequence: Choose an A from the list Your Irrational Belief: The Consequence of A+B What s your D?

The Activating Event + your Beliefs = the Consequence An A+B=C sequence: Choose an A from the list Your Irrational Belief: The Consequence of A+B What s your D?

A+B=C All our opportunity for personal growth lies in the small space between stimulus and response. Stephen Covey A=Stimulus C=Response B is the small space. Simply recognizing you re A s will open up space at B

The difference between CR and positive thinking Positive thinking puts a positive spin on a negative event CR only asks you to eliminate overly negative thinking CR focuses on the truth - never sugar coating bad things.

Worry-based stress that will probably never happen. 15% Minor annoyances you probably won t remember the next day. 30% Angerbased stress that is already over but you re still holding on to. 15% Real stress you have to cope with 3% Garden variety problems requiring a solution. 7% 3% 10% A perception problem. 10% Wouldn t have occurred if you d allowed more time. 10% Second hand stress that belongs to someone else.

Review: Stress Mediators Negative self-talk A+B=C D stands for dispute

Stress mediators Stressors Stress You Experience Stress Sensitivity Sense of Control Cognitive Defenses Physical Coping

Negative self-talk We have hundreds of negative thoughts a day Internal dialog comments on everything I can t stand it. It s too difficult. This stinks. This is stupid Doing the Math is a stupid idea Who is this guy and why did I come to this stupid program?

A+B=C The Activating Event + your Beliefs = the Consequence An A+B=C sequence: A flat tire is an A Your belief that flat tires are awful is B. Kicking the tire in frustration is C Most people are unaware of B; that A=C

D stands for dispute To A+B=C, Ellis added: D You can talk back to your negative thoughts and Dispute them.

You can choose how you want to think and react. Things upset me. I upset myself. Change the way you think about stress.

Keep your stress in perspective

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A+B=C The Activating Event + your Beliefs = the Consequence An A+B=C sequence: Being criticized by your boss is A Your Negative Beliefs: The Consequence of A+B

A+B=C The Activating Event + your Beliefs = the Consequence An A+B=C sequence: Getting passed over for a promotion is A Your Negative Beliefs: The Consequence of A+B

D stands for dispute To A+B=C, Ellis added: D You can talk back to your negative thoughts and Dispute them