Adele Wolfson Interview, February 2016 J: June A: Adele :30 A: Hello. I'm here. J: Hi, Adele. I'm so sorry to keep you waiting for so long. A: That's alright I had a delightful discussion with Dawn. We were talking about other things. And your name? J: My name is June Hussey. A: Ok June Hussey. J: It's a pleasure to meet you. A: Same here, thank you. Ok Dawn, bye, Dawn is leaving. J: Okey doke. Well, as I'm sure Dawn explained to you we do these interviews with willing residents all over the country for the purpose of collecting their personal perspective and story about how they went through the process of deciding to move to a retirement community. And the reason we do it is because we find that people who are just starting out in the process for themselves find it helpful to read about other people's experiences. A: I see, I see, ok. J: So we re just going to have a casual conversation and I'll ask you some questions. And you can feel free to chime in with any information that you think they would benefit from hearing, ok? She left her keys. Ok Dawn, bye. Ok, I'm here, June. J: Ok, very good so I'm looking at a brief bio that somebody sent me about you and I see that you re from Great Neck Long Island. A: Correct. J: Well, I grew up right across Long Island Sound from you in Greenwich, Connecticut. A: Oh, alright. J: Right across the Sound. J: We have similar histories there. A: Yeah, yeah, well, that's where I was before I came here. J: And how long ago did you move to Sarasota? A: Well, you mean permanently? J: What brought you in your life from Long Island to Florida? Let's start there. A: My husband would be very ill each winter with pneumonia and the doctor said he has to leave for the winters and I was on the executive board of the Retired Teachers in Great Neck and I heard people talking about Sarasota. And my son said, "You know we've got to get dad out of here. I am going to rent or buy a place but you guys go down and select it." And we went down and we found a wonderful condo at The Landings. I don't know if you know The Landings? J: I don't. A: It's very close by and it's beautiful and they came down, my kids came down and
they also liked it and they bought it. Not rent, they decided they would buy it as you know, an investment, and use it for themselves also. So my husband, his name was Sherman, Sherman and I came down four months out of the year and we started four years ago. And at first I didn't want to come to Florida. I'm sorry about that and my sons said, "Well, dad will go, you don't have to." Now, you know I wouldn't leave him so I came and I fell in love with Sarasota for all the cultural activities because that is where my interests are. But then he died after three years and I came alone, I would come down alone and I realized that even though I had a lot of friends up North, being on so many committees and so on, and then even at The Landings I had a lot of friends but it was lonely. You want to know how I found this place? J: Sure. A: Ok, I go to the AMC, the movie opera here in Sarasota and I was sitting next to a woman and we started, you know you start talking and she said, "Where do you live, this one, that one?" And I said, "Well, I'm going to have to find a rental because I really have to leave the condo for my children because my grandchildren are getting married and there's not enough room for all of us and so on." So she said, "Well, I live at The Fountains." I said, "I never heard of it." "It's independent living." "Never heard of it." She said, "Well, I'll invite you for dinner." And Phyllis who is in the office she obviously told her and I said, "I don't drive at night." That's another reason I'm here. Phyllis came and got me and I had dinner here and everyone seemed lovely and friendly and I said to myself, "You know I think I'll look into it." And then my daughter happened to be coming the next weekend from New York and she came and had dinner here with us, with Carmen, the woman who introduced me. And she said, "You know mom, this is great. You won't be lonely." Even though you have all your friends, it s still different, June, when you go into the apartment at four o'clock and you're all alone. I'm a people person. I m definitely a people person and an activity person so just that week we looked at apartments because she wasn't coming back for a while. Am I talking too much? J: No, it's perfect. A: So she came. She said, "Let's look at apartments. Call Phyllis. We called Phyllis, we looked at apartments and we both liked the same one and she said, "Mom, put a deposit down because you'll lose it and it's a nice apartment." It's on the third floor which I like in a corner which I like and I said, "But I didn't sell my co-op up North." "Don't worry, don't worry." Ok, so that's what I did, very impromptu. I never looked any place else so I was very fortunate because The Fountains turned out to be a very friendly, very friendly place. And lots of activities and I'm busy every single minute. J: That's wonderful. So wow, so you d never even heard of this kind of lifestyle until you happened to meet one of the residents in a chance meeting in a movie theater? A: That's right. J: Wow. A: But wait in New York when I was talking about being sad and lonely all the time even though I had all these friends we went to see a place, I'm sorry, and it was terrible, it was terrible. It was one of the good upscale places on the island and we were there when they were having dinner. No one spoke and then we asked what you do culturally because that's a very important thing for me, "Well, we go to the mall." Forget it. I mean that's not to me culture. Or they go to the college. Post College was nearby for special events. Not enough for me. They don't go into New York. We walked out very, I was
very depressed when I walked out. I said if I have to go into that type of situation I'm not doing this. I would rather stay where I am and just you know make the best of it. That was that and then I came down here to Sarasota and then it all happened when I met Carmen at the movie so obviously I was thinking about something but not independent living after what I saw. But when I came here I realized that it's totally different. They take you to all the activities, the buses. And I'm having difficulty with my eyes I have to give up my car so they take you to the doctors, the activities, nothing for pleasure, that I have to work out myself with my friends. And when I say pleasure I mean shopping for clothing, stuff like that. And I think it was a good match. J: Fantastic, well, that sounds like a fortunate meeting in the theater. J: Tell me what kinds of, you say you really like the cultural kind of things, what kind of things do you participate in there at the community? Give us a range of things that you like to do. A: I go to the ballet. They take us to the ballet, the symphony, to plays, to lectures. And in the facility I wouldn t say teacher, I kind of direct a play reading group. And we have a show every year I did the choreography for the dancing in it. I love doing things like that and I'm in a Shakespeare group here and any lectures or meetings they have I attend. J: Wow that sounds like a busy lifestyle. A: My friend just left a message, "Where are you? You are never in your apartment." So there re days that I'm not in, there are days that I am. Unfortunately I have a few doctor appointments but they do take us which is again great because I gave up my car. I have trouble with my eyes and so it's comforting to know that we have all this here. J: Right and how do your kids feel about where you chose? A: Well, Myrna, my daughter, loved it. And my son, Peter, and my daughter-in-law, Laura, when they come down of course at The Landings, they're delighted. They love the apartment and they re happy that I'm safe. I was in New York two weeks ago at the blizzard, I was there during the blizzard because my granddaughter was supposed to have her baby shower which of course wasn't because of the blizzard that day but I miss, you know, I miss certain things up North. I can't say I don't. I would love the family to be closer but my kids who live at The Landings, Peter and Laura, they come down about every, they try for once a month but they get here at least every five weeks and my other son in Vermont is a doctor with many obligations so if I see him twice a year I'm lucky and the kids and his wife. But the same thing was in New York. And my daughter unfortunately has been quite ill with migraines so she can't come down until she's better. And even if I were in New York, it would be difficult to get over to her because I wouldn't be driving. I'd have to take a taxi which is ok but if she's locked up in her room with a migraine that's not a good visit. J: Right, right. A: So at least I see one couple which makes me very happy. And other people, sometimes a friend or cousins, come down but I would say that I'm very, you know, everything has worked out very nicely. J: Well, great, do you have any advice to folks out there that maybe, like you, had no idea this kind of lifestyle existed. What would you tell them would be good advice? A: Well, the social worker up North at the community center, when I told her what I was thinking, she said, "You know don't think too long, you're not in your 70s anymore."
Which I'm not when I moved in. She said, "It's better to go into a facility when you're younger or in good health." And I advise that for people because at least you can enjoy your time here and it's easier to make friends when you're, you know, with it so to say, and in good health, that you could participate in the activities and really enjoy, as my grandson says, "Grandma you're in camp with all your activities." He says, "It's just like camp." Which it is. J: Right. Well, that's fantastic advice. And I hear that a lot from people the exact same thing is do it while you're younger and you can enjoy it and everything about it so. A: I miss cooking, don't laugh. I really do. I like my own cooking. I do miss that but I do prepare lunch and breakfast. I don't go for breakfast but I do prepare lunch but I don't do, I was really, I must say, a good cook, gourmet, you know my husband loved it, he would help. But I miss that but I wouldn't cook for myself anyway no matter where I lived. I don't really cook now. It's just little prep stuff for lunch but I do miss the real heavy cooking. That sounds nutsy but that's the way I feel. J: Although, you have a kitchen, right? A: Sure. J: So you could do it if you really wanted to. A: No, I gave away all my toys. J: I see, I see. A: My mixer, this that. I had so much equipment. I gave it all away. J: Don't they have chef s demonstrations and things like that there? A: No, not really. No one wants to cook anymore. J: Once you re here you get lazy. You don't want to cook. A: You have a salad or open a can of tuna or something for lunch. That's about it. And try hard not to gain weight. Oh and they have the exercise here every morning five days a week which I attend and they do have a gym. I don't go to the gym. I don't love machines but I may start trying but I do go to the exercise classes and yeah I left that out. Because I used always go to a gym and heavy swimming. And yeah I am active. J: Sounds like it. Well, we've touched on all the important things I think unless you can think of anything else that people ought to know. A: Well, I mentioned that everyone is very friendly, right? J: I think so. A: Yes, alright I have friends here. I have acquaintances, you know, you can't be friends with everybody but I try. Oh, they have the cinema here, the movie house on the property. Have you ever seen this place? J: Yes I have, it's gorgeous. A: It's a beautiful campus that's another thing you could say it's a beautiful campus and the staff is very kind and very friendly and if something goes wrong and you call, ok it may take a day or two if not. Sometimes, if it's an emergency they'll come right away which is very good. And the Senior Movers who helped, you know about the Senior Movers? J: A number of people have mentioned them. A: They are incredible, incredible. And they help. Unfortunately, when I was supposed to move from The Landings to here in Sarasota I came down with a terrible case of shingles, and I had the shot, I had the shot but it was very bad and they came over and they packed up my belongings and brought it here to the apartment. And then in New
York I hired Senior Movers because I was alone and I didn't want to bother my kids. So they came and they were in touch with Sarasota, The Fountains', Senior Movers. And I must say that my daughter took pictures, we made a plan, sent it down here. And June when I moved in, when I came, I forgot who came with me I think my son and daughterin-law, we open the door and every single thing was in place and every box and rubbish was out of here. It looked as if I had lived here. The only thing that wasn't up were the pictures. I have a lot of artwork up and my husband's work and maybe I have to change it a little with the clothes but it was unreal. Every dish was put away and so on. And they knew I'm small, I'm short, and they didn't use the top shelves as requested. And Carmen who was my sponsor. she would check the apartment and be certain that the rods were low enough. I'm 5 feet, little under 5 feet, well 2 inches under 5 feet and I selected a burgundy color for the kitchen and one wall in the bedroom and in the lanai. And she had them darken it. She really watched over this apartment for me. But the Senior Movers, I couldn't believe it. It was just like a gift. They're wonderful. J: It sounds like a dream move, wow. A: Yes and I gave most of my things up North to a family that I've known for 20 years that I take care of to her, very very poor family. So she I sent things to her and I just brought down what I needed here. But the move was very easy with using Senior Movers and I've recommended them and up North also to people who are coming down. J: I would imagine that would be a big relief for people to hear that there are companies like that that take all the stress out of it for you. A: Oh yes, oh yes. So that made it much easier for me and they even came, the New Yorkers came when the movers came and they supervised and they re with you. It's very comforting when you're older and alone and I don't want to bother my children. So you know I did it that way. Of course it cost money but it was well spent. J: Fantastic. J: Well, Adele I can't think of anything else that we haven't covered. You've done such a thorough job of explaining everything to people. A: Good. J: I want to thank you so much for your time today and for making The Fountains your home. A: Yes and I am happy here and you know that's it. J: Very good, well once again thank you very much. We appreciate it and I hope you will enjoy the rest of your day there. A: Yes and thank you. It was nice talking with you. J: Nice to meet you, take care now. A: Yes ok bye. J: Bye.