Children Can Recover Too! Expanding the Paradigm. NACoA. Who We Are

Transcription

1 Children Can Recover Too! Expanding the Paradigm Substance Abusing Parents: Impact on Children for National Drug Endangered Children Sis Wenger President/CEO National Association for Children of Alcoholics August 22, 2012 Webinar 1 NACoA Mission: To eliminate the adverse impact of alcohol and drug use on children and families Created by social workers, psychiatrists, sociologists, educators, and counselors all working independently across the country, but seeing the same things in adults and children with alcoholic parents. Came together in November 1982 and established NACoA in February Who We Are Membership organization individual and affiliate across U.S. and in Germany, Great Britain, Brazil, and Poland Boards and Advisory and Scientific Boards are leading authorities in the various dimensions of addiction, its impact on families and children, resilience and in family recovery 3 1

2 How We Work Structured around Program Initiatives providing training and tools for those who touch the lives of children and families and those who educate them. They include: Primary Care Providers Faith Leaders Educators Social Workers 4 Why I am in the Field Coordinated various Child Advocacy Projects for the Junior League, including juvenile delinquency prevention, child abuse and neglect, and post-partum inability to nurture and support a new born. Saw family alcoholism everywhere; heard the silence about its influence and wondered Read The Forgotten Children got angry and got busy. 5 Children Need More than Rescue Shelter and Safety to Heal Although that is a beginning. They also need: Help for the trauma in their lives and the trauma of being wrenched from their parents and possibly from watching their parents get arrested To know that their parents are getting help To have the new adults in their lives support their love for their parents and their hopes for them To understand that a disease trapped their parents but they may get help and not always be trapped in separation from them Help to process their enormous losses, anger and fears. 6 2

3 The Impact is Profound Environmentally Developmentally Emotionally Interpersonally Requires Healing and Recovery Support for the whole family 7 Children in Addicted Families Are not responsible for another s Recovery This continues the family pathology Need to receive their own Recovery support Clarity about what has happened to them and their family Repair of the psychic damage Empowered to heal whether or not a parent recovers 8 Emerging Recovery Trends Recovery from alcohol and drug problems is a process of change for the whole family. An afflicted individual achieves abstinence and the improved health, wellness, and quality of life. Impacted children and families who receive their own individual recovery support also experience this process of change. Recovery-Oriented Systems of Care shift the question from How do we get the client into treatment? to How do we support the process of recovery within the person s and family s environment? 9 3

4 High Risk for Trauma Recovery support for family members includes: Prevention: education and support (including suicide prevention in adolescents) Treatment: addressing trauma, depression, anxiety disorders Recovery support: 12 steps; student assistance programs; whole family support programs (e.g., Celebrating Families! ) 10 What Do We Need to Know and Do? Families Members are Trapped. People in Child Welfare and other Helping Professions Who Grew up in Families impacted by Addiction Need to Stop and Think! Doing What Helps is Counter-intuitive. 11 Over-arching issues to remember.. 1 in 4 children under the age of 18 has a family member who abuses alcohol or has alcoholism. Countless others live with parental drug use. Addiction is a treatable disease, not a moral weakness nor a condition to keep secret thus ensuring the addicted individual and the family members will sink deeper into despair. Living with it is emotionally and developmentally harmful to children; when secrets are kept, the harm grows. All family members need and deserve their own personal recovery support, including very young children. 12 4

5 Watch your Words Terminology can Provide Hope or Deepen Misunderstanding and Shame Alcoholism (Disease) Addiction (Disease) Chemical Dependency (Disease) Brain-Based Illness Substance Use Disorder Substance Abuse (Perjorative) 13 Emphasis on Children s Attachment and Other Development Needs are Crucial and too Often Ignored Numbers are so great Chronic confusion, fear, stress, emotional and - sometimes - physical abuse Developmental and emotional impact from the toxic family environment Greater risk for neglect, for mental health problems in adolescence and adulthood, and for entering the foster care and juvenile justice systems where family connectedness needs are seldom addressed 14 Family interaction is defined by the alcoholism or drug addiction. Problems that are frequently associated with addiction in the family and important to Child Welfare: Increased Family conflict Emotional or physical violence Family isolation Family stress, e.g.: work problems illness, marital strain, finances, and frequent relocations Decreased Family cohesion Family organization External Family Social Life 15 5

6 What Makes the Family Toxic? Don t talk Don t feel Don t trust 16 Addicted Family Defense Mechanisms Delusion Denial Minimizing Projection Rationalization 17 A Parent who is abusing alcohol or other drugs May be less attentive to the child while drunk or high May be unable to fulfill their role as a parent, including providing medical treatment Is more likely to be diagnosed with a comorbid psychological problem 18 6

7 A Parent who is abusing alcohol or other drugs May be chronically physically ill from using drugs or alcohol Spends time procuring, using, and recovering from the alcohol or drug use instead of parenting May be engaged in illegal activities Places emotional and financial stress on the family system and instills fear in the children 19 Set-up for Lifetime Consequences: COAs Often lack consistency, stability, and needed emotional support due to the chaotic family environment May be physically and emotionally traumatized by accidental injury or verbal, physical or sexual abuse due to parental drinking/drug use May encounter permissiveness, neglect, violence, poor communication, undersocialization 20 Consequences for Children of Addicted Parents More depression and suicide in adolescents, depression and anxiety disorders, broken marriages in mid-life More illness, injuries, poisonings, substance abuse, hospitalizations More absenteeism from school, less help with homework, less social and financial success 21 7

8 Adverse Child Experiences Study Death Early Death Disease, Disability and Social Problems Adoption of Health-risk Behaviors Social, Emotional, & Cognitive Impairment Scientific gaps Adverse Childhood Experiences Conception 22 Addiction does to Family what it does to the addicted person Addiction is a systemic de-construction that estranges, alienates and sedates the self-in-relation toward the Almighty, resulting in disenchantment and loss of meaning for life-experiences Paraphrased from James E. Royce, S..J., Ph.D. The Effects of Alcoholism and Recovery, 1995 from Spirituality and Chemical Dependency 23 Long term effects within family system Overcompensated with rigid behaviors or beliefs Underdeveloped intrinsic values Under utilization of support systems Inconsistent modeling and mentoring for children from generation to generation 24 8

9 Affected Spouses and Children Need a Framework for What They are Experiencing Information about addiction as a family disease Information about the hope of treatment and the process of recovery Information on community-based supports such as Al-Anon and Alateen Validation of their experiences Reassurance that affected children and spouses need and deserve support and help whether or not the addicted family member recovers Talking Helps to Break the Silence Talk TO the children of alcoholics and drug addicts and talk ABOUT them; explain the disease and the 7 Cs Jerry Moe/NACoA I didn t Cause it I can t Cure it I can t Control it I can help take better Care of myself: by Communicating my feelings making healthy Choices and by Celebrating myself. 26 Other Messages Children Need You re Not Alone. It s Not Your Fault. You deserve help, and there are safe people who can help you. Addiction is a health problem; Your parents can get help, so they can get better too. It s OK to feel our feelings. It s important to talk. Treatment helps; recovery is hard work, but many parents do recover with help. 27 9

10 There are Many Message Delivery Systems Make Them Your Partners Primary Health Care Providers Courts Faith Communities Community Coalitions Schools Workplace Programs Knowledgeable and caring family members 28 Help for the Children in Groups There is great value in educational support group activities especially important for children who have been traumatized and taken from their families Provide beneficial education for all children and youth Especially helpful for children living with alcoholism or drug dependence in the family Tools to help in multiple settings: SAMHSA s Children s Program Kit NACoA s Celebrating Families! Strengthening Families 29 Group Work is the Preferred Strategy Because: Kids learn they are not alone. Group work increases the likelihood of breaking denial. Group work provides safety and protection. Kids experience healthy social interactions. Group work builds trust in social situations. Group work provides opportunities for group validation. Group work allows kids to try out new approaches to old problems

11 COA Groups Let them know they are not alone! Validate their perceptions and interpretations Help them gain some perspective Absolve them of blame Help them separate parent from parental behavior Offer hope, self-care skills and help to cope Provide a safe outlet for anger Explain risks of behavior, and how to identify safe people in their lives Help build self-esteem and self-care 31 What happens if we don t help appropriately? Children and families are at greater risk for: Physical, verbal or emotional abuse Poor school or work performance Lacking of trust in potentially helpful adults Diminished mental health over the lifespan Truancy/absenteeism or more legal trouble Poor choice of life partners and becoming Tomorrow s Parents 32 The Vision A community environment where all members of a family affected by addiction know there are knowledgeable and caring helpers -- child protective workers, clergy, teachers, coaches, judges, CASA workers, attorneys and others who work together and who: understand the losses they are experiencing care about them; can help them find emotional and physical safety and can support their healing and emotional growth 33 11

12 Where is your agency with family programming? Have you been TALKING ABOUT IT? WHAT are you DOING? What ACTION are you taking to treat the entire family? Do the adult consumers that you are working with have children? What are you doing for them? 34 Growing Number of Tools Following features one used most frequently in agencies to which referrals are made by Dependency Courts Family Drug Courts Juvenile Courts and by treatment programs as their whole family recovery tool Celebrating Families! 35 Evidenced-Based Intervention 12

13 Goals: Uses cognitive behavioral theory (CBT) model to achieve three primary goals: Break the cycle of substance abuse and dependency within families Decrease substance use and reduce substance use relapse Facilitate successful family reunification. Session Structure of Celebrating Families! Family Meal 5:00-5:30 Age Appropriate Groups 5:30-5:50 Opening 5:50-6:50 Insights to Living 6:50-7:00 Closing Connecting with my Family 7:00-7:30 Structure of groups Opening: Develop trust and sense of safety Insights to Living: main theme of session Creating Connections: Connecting with others AND connecting with myself and higher power (WOW) Closing: sense of belonging in group Connecting with Family: activity to apply each sessions themes. 13

14 Age Group for Celebrating Families! Early Childhood Children s Pre-Adolescent Adolescent Adult/Parents 3-7 years old 8-10 years old years old years old ****These age groups can be adapted based on the age of the children participating. All children s groups may not be needed for each of the 16 week cycles. Curriculum Topics: Session 1: Orientation and Getting Started Session 2: Healthy Living Session 3: Nutrition Session 4: Communication Session 5: Feelings and Defenses Session 6: Anger Management Session 7: Facts About Alcohol, Tobacco and Other Drugs Session 8: Chemical Dependency is a Disease Session 9: Chemical Dependency Affects the Whole Family Session 10: Goal Setting Session 11: Making Healthy Choices Session 12: Healthy Boundaries Session 13: Healthy Friendships and Relationships Session 14: How We Learn Session 15: Our Uniqueness Session 16: Celebration Impact on Staff It was great to see the entire family sharing a meal together. I had worked with Cindy for 3 months and I had never seen her with her boyfriend and baby. -Laura I was able to see the difference that I was making with the younger children and teach skills to them knowing their parent was getting the same skills in the room next door. Great to have a team working with the entire family. - Katy 42 14

15 Cross System Collaboration Typical Example - Indianapolis Program Department of Children Services Marion County Family Drug Court Service Provider Program bridges the gaps between clinics! 43 Effectiveness Children reunited with parents at a quicker rate than without CF! Relapse Prevention Prevention for youth Relationship building between family members and with others in recovery 44 Many of the parents come from a home with substance use disorders..the parents in CF! groups often are the children of parents with addictions. They are Yesterday s Children and desperately need help for what happened to them as children and what has happened to them and their families today. Breaking the CYCLE is crucial for everyone! 45 15

16 New Free Booklets Kit for Kids Kit for Parents Kit for Early Childhood Professionals 46 It s Not Your Fault (MS732) Alcohol and Drug Addiction Happens in the Best of Families (PHD1112) (Spanish PHD1111S) It Feels So Bad It Doesn t have To (PHD1111) (Spanish PHD1111S) Other Resources nacoa@nacoa.org Celebrating Families! celebratingfamilies@nacoa.org 48 16