The Top 5 Tips for Picking Your Ideal Donor

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Sybil Kelly
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1 The Top 5 Tips for Picking Your Ideal Donor A PUBLICATION OF FAIRFAX CRYOBANK

She enjoys working with clients to ensure they are happy and comfortable with the donor selection process.

2 About the Author Cheryl Daubenberger is the Director of Client Services for Fairfax Cryobank and Cryogenic Laboratories, Inc. Ms. Daubenberger joined the Cryobank in October of 2006 as a Client Service Representative, a position in which she could help a person s dream of parenthood become a reality. She enjoys working with clients to ensure they are happy and comfortable with the donor selection process. The ability to help a person in need by answering questions, assisting in the donor selection process, placing an order, or reporting a pregnancy/birth is incredibly rewarding for her. Her favorite part about working hand in hand with patients is receiving pregnancy news, followed by pictures of newborn babies and the families she assisted along the way. In 2009, she moved into the position of Director of Client Services for the Cryobank. As the Client Service Director she oversees the Client Service team, to ensure superior customer service and patient satisfaction. 2

3 Getting Started As you begin your search, your first thoughts may be "Where do I start? Do I want a donor who looks like me, my partner, or someone famous? Is the donor s level of education my primary concern or is his medical history the deciding factor? What traits matter most to me?" This article will help answer your questions and offer you some useful tips as you start your search for your ideal donor. We offer a wealth of information about every donor in fact, many women who use donor sperm find they know more about their donor than they do about a partner s medical and family history. The amount of information available for each donor, along with the sheer number of donors available across several sperm banks may, however, seem overwhelming at first. Always remember that there are people who are ready to help you make the decision easier you are not in this alone! There are many resources available online; for example, Fairfax Cryobank offers the Fairfax Family Forums where patients actively discuss an array of topics ranging from beginning the process to conception to the birth of a healthy baby. You will find there are many other individuals and couples going through similar experiences and you might find it helpful to make use of that network of support. 3

4 Step 1. Determine Which Donor Category is Right for You. Since there are so many things to take into account when selecting your ideal donor, it helps to first look at the different donor categories available to choose from. 1) Anonymous donors Anonymous donors are donors who will never be known to you or your offspring. While extended profiles may be available, you and your offspring will never have the opportunity to learn your donor s identity. Important questions to ask before ordering an Anonymous donor: Question: Will my donor s identity ever be released? Question: Can my donor change his Anonymous donor contract to become an Identity (ID) Option donor? Some sperm banks may state that they have Anonymous donors; however, there may be conditions that allow them to break the contracts that they initially had in place with both their patients and donors, allowing the recipients and/or offspring to obtain identifying information about the donor. Many patients select an Anonymous donor to ensure that the donor s identifying information will never be known to them or their offspring, therefore the Cryobank(s) allowing contracts to be changed, directly affects those patients desires to keep the donor unknown. 4

5 Step 1. Determine Which Donor Category is Right for You. 2) Identity donors Identity donors are donors who are willing to have identifying information released to offspring when they turn 18 years old. However, in order for the information to be released, the offspring must be registered with the Cryobank prior to his/her 18th birthday. Some sperm banks may state that they have ID donors; however, they may make the sharing of information voluntary on the part of the donor when the time comes, or they will interact with the donor on the offspring's behalf and not release his name or contact information. Some sperm banks claim that at the age of 18, the offspring will receive identifying information and yet not share the donor's name and/or contact information. Important questions to ask before ordering an ID donor: Question: Will my donor's identity and contact information definitively be released when my child turns 18 years old? Question: Does the donor have the option to change his mind later in life (about being an ID donor)? Question: Will you provide my child with the donor's contact information when my child contacts you or do you mediate contact with the donor? Question: What specific information will my child receive when he/she contacts you? 5

Step 1. Determine Which Donor Category is Right for You 3) Graduate donors Graduate donors are donors who are in the process of earning or have completed a post college graduate degree.

6 Step 1. Determine Which Donor Category is Right for You 3) Graduate donors Graduate donors are donors who are in the process of earning or have completed a post college graduate degree. These donors include: masters level degrees, medical, dental, chiropractic, law (Juris Doctorate), veterinary, optometry, pharmacy, and Ph.D. students and graduates. Some Male sperm Female banks Combination offer donors of with post college graduate degrees, Factor but Factor it is Male oftentimes and Female difficult to identify those donors while Factor performing an online search. 6

7 Step 2. Recognize the importance of knowing your CMV Status CMV is a virus that most American adults have been exposed to and have immunity. In healthy adults and children it produces mild cold or flu like symptoms for 1-2 weeks. If a woman who has never had CMV becomes infected with the virus during pregnancy, the child is at risk for developing medical problems. You can be tested to determine if you have been exposed to CMV. If you are CMV negative, your doctor may Male Factor Female Combination of Factor Male and Female Factor recommend that you consider restricting your selections to CMV negative donors, to prevent the very small chance of developing CMV during pregnancy from the semen. A CMV positive donor is not considered infectious, but since he has developed immunity to the virus, he will be designated as CMV positive. Donors are tested repeatedly during their donation time for CMV status to make sure the most accurate status is provided for each vial. Be sure to discuss the importance of CMV with your clinic prior to placing your semen order. 7

8 Step 3. Create a list of required characteristics/traits Now that you know the donor categories you have to choose from, you can make a list of required characteristics and traits that your donor must have as well as a secondary list of characteristics and traits that you would like your donor to have. This is your long list and includes both your must have list and your would like to have list. As you begin to add these must have traits to your donor search online, you want to be sure to not be too specific at first, so do not add your would like to have traits until you perform your initial search, as this may result in little or no results. Once you have added the must have traits you should then begin to add in the additional criteria that you would like the donor to have. You will systematically shorten the donor list to only those who could be your ideal donor. 8

9 Step 4. Get to Know Your Donor Some of the donor information available for you to review in your selection process includes: Summary Profiles Medical and Personal Profiles Childhood photos Adult photos Staff impressions Audio interview Silhouettes Donor personality testing Donor Essays Examining the donor profile information to find your perfect donor can be overwhelming at times. You can make choices at this stage to help with cost savings. Some information is available for free for all donors, and can be immediately useful in ruling out those donors who might not be a good fit for you. After you have a more manageable list of donors, we highly recommend considering signing up for an Unlimited Access package to view all online donor information for a one-time fee. If you prefer, or if you are only considering one or two specific donors, you are also able to purchase all donor information a la carte. 9

10 Step 5. Utilize All Resources to Finalize Your Donor Selection Keep in mind that experiencing feelings of uncertainty during your search for a sperm donor is normal. Having doubts about which donor you are selecting is not only normal, it is to be expected. If you find that you are still having difficulty selecting a donor, Fairfax Cryobank has services to help you. Photo matching services are available to help you find a donor who most closely resembles someone of your choosing. There are also staff members available to speak with you and help you through the donor selection process. They will have access to adult photos of the donors that you may not have access to and can describe the donor s appearance to you. This can be extremely helpful, especially if physical appearance is important to you. If you have any other questions, staff members are available to make your selection and ordering process go smoothly. We know that choosing your ideal donor is no small task. We have found that following these steps can make the process easier and more enjoyable. 10

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