HOW TO GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY
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1 HOW TO GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY
2 JESSICA HILT ALLISON FLICK UC SAN DIEGO usp=sharing Slack #tutorials
3 WE HAVE A FRIEND Great skills Issues with supervisor Perfect skill match Had an in with the hiring manager
4 HOW ARE YOU PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR TRAINING YOUR STAFF? Rob
5 WHAT S WRONG WITH THIS QUESTION?
6 DISCLAIMER: THIS IS HARD. This is 90 MINUTES. We re just scratching the surface. There are no experts. (Yep, not even us) We all screw it up. People with terrible EQ still succeed.
7 GOAL: DON T DIE ALONE.
8 OUTLINE OF THIS SESSION Self-awareness Self-regulation Motivation Empathy Social Skills
9 EXERCISE Energy suckers & energy givers. Name 5 of each in your current job.
10 SELF-AWARENESS The science The story Symptoms How to improve
11 A 2014 STUDY OF 22 META-ANALYSES (CONTAINING OVER 357,000 PEOPLE) FOUND AN AVERAGE CORRELATION OF.29 BETWEEN SELF-EVALUATIONS AND OBJECTIVE ASSESSMENTS (A CORRELATION OF 1.0 WOULD INDICATE TOTAL ACCURACY). AND THE CORRELATION WAS EVEN LOWER FOR WORK-RELATED SKILLS. Do People Have Insight Into Their Abilities? A Metasynthesis (Ethan Zell, Zlatan Krizan)
12 WHY DO WE EVEN CARE?
13 GALLUP STRENGTH FINDER WOO Maximizer Positivity Strategic Arranger
14 WHAT DOES LACK OF SELF- AWARENESS LOOK LIKE Your intention rarely matches other people s perception Your boss doesn t know what you do You think your subordinates or peers are not as smart/adept/talented as you
15 STRATEGIES GAINING SELF-AWARENESS Write down your goals, plans, and priorities Take psychometric tests Ask trusted friends and peers Get feedback at work
16 GOAL, PLANS, AND PRIORITIES Writing the before (what I want to do) Writing the after (what am I accomplishing) Self-promotion that doesn t feel icky. Write it down. Review often.
17 PSYCHOMETRIC TESTS There is no judgement. If it brings you reflection, it s a valid option. Examples: Myers-Briggs Gallup Strength Finder
18 PUTTING THIS TO WORK Career Interpersonal Internal
19 SELF-REGULATION Self-regulation is about using self-awareness to keep negative reactions under control. Choosing how we think, feel and the actions we take Seeing yourself from others point of view
20 EXERCISE Name a trait in a coworker that you don t have but you admire in them.
21 WHAT IS IT REALLY? Playing nice with others even if they won t play nice with you.
22 SELF REGULATION IN REAL LIFE The failed project The other side Ooof, that stung
23 BUT IT S ALSO Micromanaging Procrastination Failed goals
24 WHAT MAKES UP SELF-REGULATION? Emotional self-control Conscientiousness Adaptability
25 EMOTIONAL SELF-CONTROL Self-control is not masking or hiding your emotions but recognizing and controlling them appropriately. Calm in the storm Making balanced decisions Managing stress
26 CONSCIENTIOUSNESS Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
27 ADAPTABILITY Navigating choppy waters Change brings out emotion Stress makes everything harder
28 PUTTING THIS TO WORK Career Interpersonal Internal
29 MOTIVATION Intrinsic Extrinsic
30 EXERCISE What part of your job do you wish there was more of?
31 HOW TO KEEP MOTIVATION WHEN YOUR COMPANY DOESN T CARE Goal review User groups Community groups
32 HOW TO KEEP MOTIVATION WHEN YOU DON T CARE Oh crap. I am so bored.
33 TRAINING IN ALL ITS GLORIOUS FORMS Asking for it. On your own. Untraditional.
34 BUT IT S NOT JUST TRAINING Networking Updating your resume Goals
35 A WORD ON IMPOSTER SYNDROME Affect on motivation High achievers unable to internalize and accept their success.
36 PUTTING THIS TO WORK Career Interpersonal Internal
37 EMPATHY The science The story Symptoms How to improve
38 EXERCISE If I were my boss, I would do X.
39 WE HAVE A REAL INABILITY TO PUT OURSELVES IN THE SHOES OF THE PEOPLE WE ARE TRYING TO PROTECT. Alex Stamos, Facebook, CISO
40 WHY TO CARE ABOUT EMPATHY Trust Understand the needs of our users Learn how to motivate Easier to deal with negativity when you can understand their fears
41 THERE S NO WAY SHE S LIKE ME Myers-Briggs test
42 WHAT DOES LACK OF EMPATHY LOOK LIKE You can t think of a single reason your boss would make that call Users are just lazy/stupid Warring with coworkers You work from your default reaction
43 GAINING EMPATHY Listen Debate (internally, dear jebus no one wants to hear you play devil s advocate) both sides of a position Know your enemies Take a walk in the story of someone else
44 LISTEN Stop thinking of what you re going to say next. Listen to the words. Consider the life experience and motivation that led to this perspective. Ask follow-up questions
45 SOCIAL SKILLZ MAGIC! Born with it, right? Jessica I m just not an extrovert.
46 SOCIAL SKILLZ I m not asking you to change who you are. A lot like running. It s doesn t have to be painful. For the love, it is not small talk.
47 SOCIAL SKILLS FOR THE NATURAL INTROVERT Claim your specialty. Introduce yourself Listen and ask questions.
48 EXERCISE Think about your specialty. Tell the nearest stranger.
49 ALL OF THE STUFF! Self-awareness Self-regulation Motivation Empathy Social Skills
50 QUESTIONS?
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