Running head: FREEDOM, CHOICE & RESPONSIBILITY 1

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1 Running head: FREEDOM, CHOICE & RESPONSIBILITY 1 Freedom, Choice and Responsibility Megan Palmer University of Cincinnati

2 FREEDOM, CHOICE & RESPONSIBILITY 2 Freedom, Choice and Responsibility Going into the field of school counseling, I find it entirely natural to apply an existential approach to counseling that focuses on the aspects of freedom, choice and responsibility. I believe that the solutions to a multitude of issues presented in a school setting can be found through exploring these three developmental areas. Additionally, applying an existential approach allows for the freedom to use an unlimited variety of techniques. As Victor Frankl once said, Approaching human beings merely in terms of techniques necessarily implies manipulating them (Frankl, 1967). With this in mind, I find great freedom in exercising an existentialist method that looks at the whole being in the here-and-now and recognizes the need for counselor spontaneity in choosing specific techniques to use for that client in that moment. The core focus of existentialism is on human existence and what it means to be alive. It is human nature to seek greater meaning in life. According to Nietzsche, He who has a why to live for can bear any how (Jones-Smith, 2012). In other words, if a person has found the meaning in his life, meaning that is found woven through his or her experiences and that fills him or her with a hope that propels them forward, then that person can endure any trial in order to maintain that purpose for living. I believe that as a school counselor my students will not likely have formulated the profound concept of finding a meaning for living. I do however, think that it will be my responsibility (and let s face it, my joy) to encourage students to invest in the three areas where Frankl believes life-meaning can be found: through experiencing something or someone whom we value or love, through creative values or completing a deed, and through the attitudinal values that we adopt to guide our behavior and actions (Jones-Smith, 2012). Like existentialists, I recognize that a tremendous aspect of human nature is the tension between the knowledge that we are individuals alone in this world and the innate yearning within

3 FREEDOM, CHOICE & RESPONSIBILITY 3 us to be connected to others and part of a larger whole (Jones-Smith, 2012). This can be applied to all individuals, whether they seek connection with others through power over them, helping them, being submissive to them, or on a social-peer level, every person attempts to connect with other beings in some way or another to fulfill that yearning. It is part of our human nature, and it can so clearly be seen in a school setting where students strive to find a group to fit in with and yet maintain their uniqueness that makes them special. Though we long to mean something to another person or other people, throughout life we progress through this tension to the ultimate end of acknowledging that validation cannot come from others alone. We cannot depend on others for validation, but must rather seek validation from within ourselves if we want to live truly authentic lives (Jones-Smith, 2012). As a school counselor, I will work to create a school climate where every child receives an abundance of validation from a variety of meaningful relationships. But I also hope that by the time that they graduate, they will have enough esteem and internal validation to not be dependent on others to maintain a positive self-concept. These two personal goals will certainly shape my approach to working with students individually, in small group settings, and in the classroom. Another aspect of existentialism s view of human nature that I am excited to apply as a school counselor is in its view of the important role that decision-making has in an individual s life. It is in the choices that one makes when faced with difficult decisions that their life is fulfilled or restricted. While freedom comes from choosing freely and from accepting responsibility for one s own actions, the anxiety of choice and owning the consequences of one s choosing often causes paralysis. In the chapter on existentialism in her textbook Theories of Counseling and Psychotherapy: An Integrative Approach, Elsie Jones-Smith says, often times accepting responsibility for our lives becomes burdensome. Therefore, we pretend that we do not

4 FREEDOM, CHOICE & RESPONSIBILITY 4 have a choice and are not responsible for what happens in our lives We must summon up the courage to choose what we want out of life and to hold fast to it (Jones-Smith, 2012). From helping students to freely choose a post-high school path, to encouraging students to take responsibility for their grades, to teaching students that they have choices in how they behave in conflict situations, the existential view of human nature will easily be seen in my office as a school counselor. It can be clearly seen that the existential goal of the client becoming aware of the freedom he or she has in making choices and the responsibility he or she has to own up to those choices is an essential goal for school counselors working with any grade-level. Though my personal definition of counseling is early in its development, I am eager to see it grow as I gain more experience in the field. From my current perspective, counseling is walking with another person through a growth experience, helping them to understand themselves and their behavior and encouraging them to make healthy choices that help them to meet their potential. This definition, which has yet to be proven accurate in the professional world, fits well with the basic goal of existential therapy. According to Jones-Smith, this is to help individuals lead authentic lives and to make choices that will help them become all they are capable of becoming (Jones-Smith, 2012). While it is unlikely that many people under the age of 18 reach true existential authenticity (the product of an evenly-balanced consistency between the 4 levels of being-in-the-world: physical self, social self, inner self, spiritual self (Jones-Smith, 2012)), I recognize in my vision of school counseling a desire to help 21st century students find balance in their lives and to help them to reach their full potential. My role as a school counselor is to open my student s eyes to new possibilities and perspectives, and to cheer them on as they make responsible choices to achieve their goals. As each individual student is unique in their needs and abilities, I realize that a great deal of my role

5 FREEDOM, CHOICE & RESPONSIBILITY 5 as counselor will be defined by the particular student. There are, however, some hats that I will consistently wear, which are also what I believe to be the important functions of a counselor: empathic listener, collaborator and instigator. Instigator may sound like a negative term to others, but I mean it as one who causes someone else to think more deeply, to seek out meaning in their behavior and their life, to move forward and get unstuck. Through empathic listening, counselors create a safe environment for students to share their thoughts and experiences free from perceived judgment. This is essential, as a counselor cannot assist a student in moving forward through making authentically good choices for themselves if the student has not freely shared what is on their mind. The function of creating that safe environment is the responsibility of the counselor and is essential to the counseling relationship. Additionally, it is important for the counselor to function as a collaborator so that the student feels as though someone is working with them not working against them, or standing idly by as they struggle to find direction. If a student does not feel as though his or her counselor is working with them, it can be detrimental to the level of trust and the level of motivation that a student brings to the table. In collaborating, though, a counselor must be careful not to overstep and make choices or take actions that the student themselves should make, but rather to help students with the presenting issues. Doing this might look like brainstorming with the student possible courses of action to take, holding the student accountable to taking steps forward, or asking questions that can guide the student in the process of seeing themselves or their situation in a new light. The student, then, takes on a more active role. They most often take on the role of being the sharer, the processor, the decision-maker or the change agent. It is the role of the client to make choices and to take responsibility for them. Hopefully, the students in my care will find the

6 FREEDOM, CHOICE & RESPONSIBILITY 6 freedom to make those choices that lead to a balanced life and lay the foundation for them to be able to reach future goals. I agree with David Hutchinson, who says in his textbook The Essential Counselor that the essential components in a counseling relationship that the counselor should bring to the table are congruence, unconditional positive regard, and empathic understanding. This means that through our relationship, my students will feel that I genuinely care about them, that I completely accept them as people, and that I see things from their perspective (Hutchinson, 2012). Though I am an adult charged with caring for non-adult students, I also think that there is also a certain amount of equity that is necessary in an effective client-counselor relationship. That is to say, there must be a level of openness and trust that allows the student to feel confident that I will not take advantage of the things that he or she shares with me, and that I will meet them at their developmental level. The relationship should be that of two people working together towards the same goal. This requires clear communication on the part of each person, trust, an openness to explore new possibilities, and commitment. Particularly when working with people under the age of 18, I believe that commitment on behalf of the counselor to the client is essential to promote an experience of stability for the client. The relationship between the client and the counselor is central to the process of therapy. Everything that is said and done in the therapeutic process revolves around the relationship between the counselor and client. If any of those three essential components of an effecting therapeutic relationship are missing, it will skew and hinder the process to the detriment of both the client and the counselor. It is this empathic relationship that creates the context or environment in which sharing, processing and change best occurs (Hutchinson, 2012). In fact, I have heard other counselors share that their clients have reported to them that when it came down

7 FREEDOM, CHOICE & RESPONSIBILITY 7 to it, the client changed as a result of his or her relationship with the counselor not because of any specific intervention. While I personally do not believe that there is a magic equation to that causes positive change every time, I do believe in the power of the therapeutic relationship to provide the space for change to occur. Positive change can be revealed in the client s words, in the client s demeanor, in the client s relationships or in the client s behavior. Though each client is different, this change could more overtly look like the mobilization of a client s will to organize themselves and move towards their goals, the client taking responsibility for their actions, or the client making choices which are not dictated by anxiety or fear and which will help them to become all they are capable of becoming (Jones-Smith, 2012). I believe that excellence on the part of a counselor can come from three traits that allow for excellence in many arenas of life: humility, confidence and perseverance. True humility, does not mean behaving as though everyone is better than you, rather, it means that your focus is on others and not yourself. A counselor who exercises real humility naturally shows empathic understanding, genuineness, and positive regard, for they are not concerned with themselves, their own judgments or their own failures. They are content to be entirely focused on the good of another being. Confidence also is necessary, as a counselor who has confidence is not afraid to try new techniques for fear of failure. They are open, forward-focused, and unwavering in their commitment to supporting a client toward their goals. Confident counselors also advocate on behalf of their clients more effectively then counselors who lack confidence. The last trait that makes for excellence in a counselor is also the trait that I believe separates mediocre counselors from excellent counselors: perseverance. Counseling someone is not easy and every session does not always produce visible results. It can be exhausting,

8 FREEDOM, CHOICE & RESPONSIBILITY 8 overwhelming, and also boring. Advocating for students can be disheartening and take multiple attempts to produce any results. But the counselor who perseveres and does not lose focus or commitment, is the counselor who provides the exceptional care that all students deserve. While I am still young in my training and in the profession of counseling, I feel confident in the foundation that I have already established through my previous life experiences and my learning experiences at the University of Cincinnati. I don t doubt that my existentialist approach will change or that my goals of teaching students about freedom, choice, and responsibility will shift to fit in to the schools where I will work. I do, however, trust that the skills I have been practicing through this techniques course (paraphrasing, focusing, attending, empathy, reflection, etc.) will only grow in their effectiveness and usefulness throughout the rest of my career.

9 FREEDOM, CHOICE & RESPONSIBILITY 9 References Jones-Smith, E. (2012). Theories of Counseling and Psychotherapy : An Integrative Approach. Los Angeles, California: SAGE Publications Ltd. Frankl, V. (1967). Logotherapy and Existentialism. Psychotherapy, Theory, Research, and Practice, 4, Hutchinson, D. (2012). The Essential Counselor: Process, Skills and Techniques, (2 nd Ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, Inc.