THE RELATION BETWEEN LOVE MAKING STYLES AND SOLVING FAMILY PROBLEMS SKILL AMONG MARRIED FEMALE STUDENTS

Transcription

1 Acta Medica Mediterranea, 2016, 32: 1317 THE RELATION BETWEEN LOVE MAKING STYLES AND SOLVING FAMILY PROBLEMS SKILL AMONG MARRIED FEMALE STUDENTS NASROLAH ERFANI *, MAHSHID BAROOTI **, HAMID REZA HEKMAT *** * Department of Psychology, Payame Noor University (PNU), Tehran, I.R. of Iran - ** MA Student, Department of Psychology, Islamic Azad University, Borujerd Branch, Borujerd, Iran - *** MD, Department of psychology, Islamic Azad University, Borujerd Branch, Borujerd, Iran ABSTRACT The aim of this study was to find the relation between making styles and family problems skill. The statistical population was the female married students of Hamedan Payam Noor University. Since that the minimum number of sample in correlational studies is 100, 120 participants were selected in this study using a random sampling method. The selected participants answered the triangle of Sternberg and the family problem questionnaires. Data were analyzed through frequency distribution and chi-square test using SPSS Software. Results showed that there is a significant relation between making styles and the levels of family problem skill. Key words: making styles, problem skill, family, student Received June 30, 2015; Accepted January 02, 2016 Introduction which originates from their creation and is a natural demand that all human societies and religions confirm, and entails the main elements of a society as a mirror, and is the criterion for understanding and measuring social pathologies as well. No society can claim to be healthy without having healthy families, and in fact maintaining this sacred unity is dependent on the continuing healthy relation between husband and wife (7). Many issues are involved in every marriage, which may cause satisfaction or dissatisfaction of marital life. These issue include stability, social expectations, personality growth, educational similarity, thinking style towards sexual matters, age difference, number of children, the span of the marriage, and economic issues. Today, researchers and thinkers try to attend to concepts such as, belonging, attachment, and understanding as the main elements in growth and continuity of the marital life and of family conflicts (1). If the s before marriage couple with understanding and real, they will be very desirable for life. Otherwise, they are like a detrimental thunder. After marriage, regardless of how it formed or how the couple met, is the basis and requirement of life (6). According to (5), the main reason for marriage and divorce is or lack of it. According to him, understanding the phenomenon of is important, and research in this area is crucial since it can clarify many issues around family matters. The styles of attitude and the ways of expressing among people are very important. Especially that, different styles originate from different attitudes and can play a major role in marital lives, and many researchers also agree that men and

2 1318 Nasrolah Erfani, Mahshid Barooti et Al women have different attitudes towards the issue of (8). Love is a learnable reaction and an acquirable feeling. It means that every human can recognize and experience based on his learning, beliefs and limits. Not everyone treats the same way, but all believe that if liking is intensified, it will reach the level of. Love and the making styles can be effective in the consolidation of family. According to Sternberg, is a triangle and the best is similar to an equilateral triangle. It means that has three elements, intimacy, passion, and commitment. Love is best when it entails the three elements almost equally (9). According to Sternberg, is divided into 8 styles: Lack of : in this relation, no element of is present. This relation is present in everyone s everyday life with ordinary people. If you feel like this toward your partner, be sure that your relation is in danger. Empathy: This feeling occurs when little caprice and commitment are present or not present at all. However, intimacy is at a high level. People have such feelings toward their intimate friends. Passion: This is what stimulates people to form a relationship. It is the quality of relationships in which caprice is intensified, but intimacy and commitment are at a low level (infatuation ). Empty : This happens when commitment is strong but caprice and intimacy are low or not present. This quality is seen among couples that have long got married and lived together because of their children, they only want to keep the relationship even if they are not fulfilled mentally or physically. Romantic : This is seen in couples whose relationship is fairly new, caprice and intimacy are strong, but they have no sufficient mutual life or mutual experiences to feel mutually committed. Compassionate : In this type of, intimacy and commitment are strong while caprice is low. This is seen among couples who have been with together for a long time and are satisfied with each other, but their sexual attraction to one another has vanished. Fatuous : In this type of, caprice and commitment are high, but intimacy is low. This is seen among couples who have one important thing in common; therefore, they decide to get married even if they don't know each other. After they feel committed, they start feeling intimate. They sometimes feel that they do not one another. Consummate : This entails all three elements generously in itself. It is the that everyone sees only in their dreams. Reaching this level is very easier than keeping it (8). There are some similarities between the theories of Lee and Sternberg. Eros in Lee's theory is the same as romantic in Sternberg's. Also, mania is similar to infatuation which was proposed by Sternberg. Storg in Lee's theory is similar to compassionate or liking in the Sternberg s theory, and pragha is similar to empty (20, 12). Researchers are trying to answer this question that what the effects of making styles are on people s close relationships and their ability to solve family problems. In their study that conducted on 123 couples (3), showed that the Persian version of the questionnaire of Sternberg has sufficient reliability and validity, and its three elements (intimacy, passion and commitment) have a correlation with marital satisfaction. In studies done by (10), the relation between psychological and interpersonal variables and sexual behavior, attitudes and was studied. The correlations and analysis of regression showed that commitment, intimacy and the rate and style of sexual relations are all important factors associated with and marital satisfaction. Subsequently, they are also considered as the ability of men and women to solve family problems. Montgomery and (11) studied the relational qualities and styles in 4 different groups: 1) young single university students, 2) married adults under 30 without children, 3) married adults (24-50) with children, and 4) married adults (50-70) without children. The most prominent differences between groups were not based on age but rather on the presence or absence of marital unity. Young and single individuals had more fun and passionate and less humanistic comparing the other three groups. The groups had no difference regarding the sexual and intimate. Studies introduce in marital life as a predicting factor for joy, positive emotions and satisfaction (15). Though states such as infatuation and obsession can cause non-conformity, decrease of balance in parenting, occupational and empathizing tasks.

3 The relation between making styles and family problems skill among married female students 1319 Marital satisfaction predicts total joy and mental and physical health more than any other satisfaction (22, 18, 37) and acts as a shield against distressful life events (13). On the other hand, low satisfaction predicts depression (11) and separation of marital unity (25). In a study on normal and troubled couples with marital life of long time (M=19), (deep emotional unity, mutual care, trust and intimacy) gained the highest score among the other 19 variables (32). Other studies proved deep and significant links between romantic and total happiness (10), less pathological signs and stronger marital satisfaction and physical health (36). Paying attention to the family heath and the consolidation of this unity as the basis for society formation gets doubled in importance considering the basic role it plays in rearing up children and the ever increasing rate of divorce and its consequent damages on family members (21, 27). Kitson and Morgan regard divorce as the most stressful event that a human can experience. For adults, the consequences of divorce can be exposure to maladies, high rate of death (16), economic problems, decrease of moving especially in women (14, 19), and limitation of social relationships, and for children, problems in the process of socialization (17) and losing contact with father. In addition, children might react with anxiety, emotional exteriorization, educational failure and decrease in emotional functioning (24, 38, 39 ). Many psychologists regard the ability of family problems, which ultimately leads to satisfaction with marital life, as a common path to the end of separation and divorce. Many issues are involved in this path and recognizing them can be a significant step in preventing divorce and promoting the quality of relationships. Therefore, the present study is a try to reach that goal by studying as the core of intimate relationships and the fact that which type of can better help solve problems. The questions in this study are: What are the making styles of female married B.A university students of Hamedan Payam Noor University? What are the skills for problems amongst the female married university students of Hamedan Payam Noor University? Is there a relation between making styles and problem skills amongst female married university students of Hamedan Payam Noor University? Methods Regarding the goal and the main questions of this study, the method that was used was correlation. The goal of correlational study is to study the range of changes of one or more variables with the ranges of changes of another one or more variables (5). The statistical population of this study was composed of all female married B.A. students of Hamedan Payam Noor University, who were studying in the first educational semester of Considering the issue that the minimum number of sample for correlational studies is 100, 120 participants were selected using convenient sampling. All of the participants filled out the following questionnaires. 1- Love triangle scale of Sternberg: To collect the required data, triangle of Sternberg was employed. This scale is based on the three elements of : intimacy, passion and commitment. Therefore, this scale would have three different results. This scale shows eight making styles (See Table 1). commitment passion intimacy Love making aspects Love making styles weak weak weak Lack of weak weak strong empathy weak strong weak Love and passion strong weak weak Empty weak strong strong Romantic strong weak strong Affectionate strong strong weak Fatuous strong strong strong Consummate Table 1: Love making styles in triangle on Sternberg. The reliability of this inventory was 0.70 which was calculated using test-retest method, and its validity was 0.80 that was measured using the same method. The reliability was calculated through Cronbach s Alpha which was 0.96 for intimacy, 0.94 for passion, and 0.98 for commitment. 2- Problem skill scale: This scale is composed of 30 items and answered based on a 5- degree Likert scale as never=1, rarely=2, sometimes=3, frequently=4, and always=5. For scoring, some of the items were scored reversely and this

4 1320 Nasrolah Erfani, Mahshid Barooti et Al conversion was necessary for them. Items no. 30, 26, 25, 21, 18, 17, 12, 10, 9 were reversed, and their scoring was as follows: never=5, rarely=4, sometimes=3, frequently=2 and always=1. The total number in scale shows the ability of couples in effective problem, and the lower grade shows the inability and weakness in family problems skill (See Table 2). interpretation High and skilled expertise in problem Good skills in problem Medium high ability in problem Medium low ability in problem soling Weak state in problem Very weak state of problem scores Higher than Lower than 65 Table 2: Categorization of results of family problem skill. The formal reliability of problem scale with 36 items was calculated by conformity method and experts evaluations. To find the reliability measure, Cronbach s Alpha was used. Results showed that the inner consistency of the whole scale was.91, relational factor,.78 and the common factor,.83. Also, the differentiation coefficient of the scale was measured using identical testing for measurement of marital satisfaction was.91 for the whole scale, and.78 and.83 for the relational factor and problem respectively. In this study reliability with Cronbach s Alpha was employed for family problem which was.76, which is appropriate for research work according to (31). By referring to the sample, besides drawing their attention and cooperation and providing them with required information, the questionnaires were distributed and filled out, and after the data were entered into the computer, they were analyzed. In this study besides using a table for frequency distribution and the percentages of central and disparate measures of descriptive statistics, chisquare and the Pearson coefficient correlation was used. The analysis of the data was done through SPSS (2001). Results The descriptive results in regards to demographic variables showed that the mean age of the sample was 29.65, and the standard deviation was Moreover, the mean of the common life was 5.84, with a standard deviation of The results showed that 41.7% of the participants had no children, 38.3% had 1 child, and 16.7% had 2 children, and 3.3% had more than % of the sample were housewives and 49.2% were working (table 3-4). Max Min S aspects intimacy passion commitment Love making N=20 Table 3: Love making description and its aspects. P F levels aspect low intimacy strong low passion strong low commitment strong low making strong Table 4: Frequency and percentage of making levels. CP P F variable Lack of empathy Empty Affectionate Consummate Table 5: Frequency and percentage of making styles of the sample. The data presented in Table 5 show that mean intimacy is , with a standard deviation of In addition, the mean passion is with a

5 The relation between making styles and family problems skill among married female students 1321 standard deviation of 31.51, while the mean making is with a standard deviation of The data presented in Table 6 show that in regards to intimacy, 13.3% of the participants were weak and 85.7% were strong. In commitment, 19.2% were weak and 80.8% strong, and the level of making of the sample, 21.7% were weak and 78.3% were strong. Max Min S variable Problem skill in the family Table 6: Description of problem skill in the family. Regarding the answer of the first question of the study, the results presented in Table 7 show that the most noticeable making style in the sample is the romantic (69.2%). CP P F level Very low low Medium low Medium high (p<0.01, x2= 34/733) in a way that a direct correlation can be seen between making styles and family problem skills (p<0.01, v=0.286). Thus, it can be stated that by strengthening the making styles among couples, the problem skill can increase (table 9). P r Dependent variable Predicting variables **0/ The results of Pearson correlation coefficient show that there is a direct and significant relation among the aspects of intimacy (p<0.01, r=0.435), passion (p<0.01, r=0.568), commitment (p<0.01, r=0.749), and the total grade of making with problem skill (p<0.01, r=0.527). Discussion intimacy Problem skill in family **0/ passion **0/ commitment **0/ making ** p< 0.01, n=120 Table 9: Correlation between making styles and family problem skill good Table 7: Frequency and percentage of the levels of problem skill in the family. The data presented in Table 8 show that the mean of problem skill in sample is and its standard deviation is total Consummate Compassionate Empty empathy Lack of Table 8: The relation between making styles and family problem skill. Regarding the answer to the third question of the study, the results of chi-square test show that there is a significant relation between making styles and problem skills in the family Lovemaking style Problem skill Very low low Medium low Medium high good total X216=34/77, p<0.01 v=0.286, p<0.01 The descriptive findings of the present study showed that the participants mean age is with a standard deviation of 5.51, and the mean of mutual life is 5.84 with a standard deviation of In addition, the results of the study show that most of the participants (41.7) had one child, and most were housewives (50.8%). Regarding the answer of the first question of the study, the results showed that most of the participants making style (69.2%) was romantic, this is in accordance with the results of the studies carried out by (34, 3 4). In explaining this finding, it can be stated that the participants mutual life mean was 5 years and mostly the first years of mutual life were years of intimacy and warmth and usually couples had high commitment, passion and intimacy towards each other in these years. Therefore, making style of romantic had the highest frequency in the sample. Regarding the answer of the second question, the results showed that most of the participants problem skill was medium low (58.3%). (30, 35, This is partly in accordance with the findings of

6 1322 Nasrolah Erfani, Mahshid Barooti et Al 1). In explaining, it can be said that since the mean of the mutual life of the sample is 5 years, in the early years, the couples were not yet accustomed to the mood and temperament and individual behavior of one another; therefore, they cannot properly solve problems. Although each of them expects the other one to solve the problems single-handedly. This causes a decrease in of problem skill in the family. Regarding the answer of the third question of the study, the results showed that there is a relation between the making styles and family problem skill. This is parallel to the findings of the study carried out by (3). Although the significant relation of these is at a medium level, regarding the fact that the mean of the mutual life of the sample was 5 years, it is not expected that they have a high problem skill yet since the ability to obviate problems requires forgiveness and more recognition of the partner and more understanding of his/her weak and strength points. References 1) Pato, M. (2003). The relation between self-concept and attitudes toward. MA thesis, Shahid Beheshti University. (In Persian) 2) Abedi G, Darvari S H, Nadighara A, Rostami F. The Relationship between Quality of Life and Marriage Satisfaction in Infertile Couples Using Path Analysis. J Mazandaran Univ Med Sci. 2014; 24 (117): ) Hafezi Taraghfeh, M.; Firoozabadi, A.; & Hagh Shenas, H. (2007). Studying the relation between components and marital satisfaction. Journal of Medical Sciences of Mazandaran, 54, (In Persian) 4) Hafezi, F. & Jamei Nejad, F. (2010). The relation between, positive affect, negative affect and attachment styles with marital satisfaction in employees of Oil Company of Khosestan. New findings in psychology. 4(10), (In Persian) 5) Delavar, A. (1993). Research methods in psychology and related sciences, Tehran: Payam Noor University. (In Persian) 6) Shaban Zadeh, A. & Khaje Poor, P. (2008). The relation between and marital satisfaction in married men and women in Tehran. MA thesis. Azad university of Tehran. (In Persian) 7) Taii, S.; Nsei, A. K.; & Atari, Y. A. (2012). Studying the effectiveness of group imago therapy on the making attitude of couples referring to the oil counseling center. New Findings in Psychology, 7th year, 23, (In Persian) 8) Mahmoodi, G. R. & Hafezolkotob, L. (2001). The relation between making styles and marital satisfaction. Psychological Researches. 2(6), (In Persian) 9) Ahmetoglu, G., Swami, V., Chamorro, T. & Premuzi, C. (2009). The relationship between dimensions of, personality and relationship length. Springer science & business Media. 10) Aron, A. & Henkmeyer, L. (1995). Marital Satisfaction and Passionate Love. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. 12, ) Beach, S. R. & O'leary, K. D. (1993). Material discord and dysphoria: For whom does this material relationship predict depressive symptomatology? Journal of social and personal relationships, 10, ) Brown, N. M. & Amatea, E. (2000). Love and intimate relationships. Journeys of the heart. Philadelphia: Taylor & Francis 13) Coan, J. A., Schaefer, H. S. & Davidson, R. (2006). Lending a hand: social regulation of the neural response to threat. Psychological science, 17, ) Corcoran, M., Duncan, G. J. & Hill, M. S. (1988). The ecomomic fortunes of women and children: Lessons from the panel study of income. Dynamica signs, 10, ) Diener, E. & Lucas, R. (2000). Subjective emotional well- being. In M. Lewis & J. M Haviland-Jones (Eds), Handbook of emotions (2th Ed). NewYork: The Guilford Press. 16) Doherty, W., Su, S. & Needle, R. (1989). Marital disruption and psychological well-being: Apanel study. Journal of family Issues, 10, ) Dornbush, S. M. (1989). The sociology of adolescence. Annual Review of sociology, 15, ) Drigotas. M., Rusbult, C. E., Wieselquist, J. & Whitton, S. (1999). Close Partner as the sculptor of the ideal self: Behavioral affirmation and the Michaelangelo phonemenon. Journal of personality and social psychology, 77, ) Duncan, G. J. & Hoffman, S. D. (1985). Economic coneqences of marital instability. In M. David & T. Smeeding (Eds), Horizontal eguity, uncertainty and economic well-being. Chicago: University of Chicago Press. 20) Dwyer, D. (2000). Interpersonal relationships. London: Roothledge. 21) Furstenberg, F. F. (1990). Divorce and American Family. Annual Review of Socialogy, 16, ) Glenn, N. D. & Weaver, C. N. (1981). The Contribution of Marital Happiness to Global Happiness. Journal of marriage and family. 43, (1), ) Hatfield, E., Traupmann. J. & Sprecher, S. (1981). Older women's perceptions of their intimate relationships. Journal of social and clinical psychology. 2, ) Heterington, E. M. (1987). Family relations six years after divorce. In k. Psley & M. Zhinger-Tallman (Eds). Remarriage and stepparenting today: Current research and Theory, ) Hutson. T. L., Houts, R. M., Caughlin, J. P., Smith, S. E. & George, L. J. (2001). The Connubial Crucible. Newlywed years as predictors of maritial delight. Distress, and divorce. Journal of personality and social psychology, 80, ) Kim, J. & Hatfield, E. (2004). Love types and subjective well-being: A cross cultural Study. Social behavior and Personality, 32, ) Kitson, G. C. & Morgan, L. A. (1990). The Multiple conseqences of divorce: A clecade review. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 52,

7 The relation between making styles and family problems skill among married female students ) Lee, J. A. (1988). Love-styles. In R. J. Strenberg & M. L. Barnes (Eds), The psychology of, ) Montgomery, M. J. & Sorell, G. T. (1997). Differences in attributes across family life stages. Family Relations, 46, ) Moss, B. F. & Schwebel, A. I. (1993). Defining Intimacy in Romantic Relationships. Family Relations. 42, (1), ) Nunnally, J. (1978). Psychometric theory. New York: McGraw-Hill. 32) Riehl-Emde, A., Tomas, V. & Willi, J. (2003). Love: an important dimension in martial research and therapy. Family process, 42, ) SPSS. (2001). SPSS 11.0 brief guide. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc. 34) Sterenberg, R. (1998). Love is a story: A new theory of relatioships. Oxford University Press. 35) Sternberg, R. & Barns, M. (1985). The psychology of. New York: Freeman 36) Traupmann, J. Eckels. E. & Hatfield, E. (1982). Intimacy in older woman s lives. The Gerontologist, 22, Corresponding author NASROLAH ERFANI erfani@pnu.ac.ir (Iran)