Forgiveness. as a Component of the Spiritual Change Process Following the Homicide of a Loved One

Transcription

1 Forgiveness as a Component of the Spiritual Change Process Following the Homicide of a Loved One Brooks Zitzmann, Ph.D. Shannon Johnson, Ph.D. NACSW 2018

2 Goals Explore the ways homicide survivors discuss forgiveness. Focus on the roles forgiveness plays in survivors processes of healing. Highlight the importance of forgiveness as a choice among homicide survivors. Highlight the spiritual and religious dimensions of forgiveness for survivors of homicide.

3 Clinical Implications As we are discussing this study, we welcome you to be thinking about applications to clinical practice. Please share in dialogue as we go!

4 The number of annual U.S. homicide survivors This is an understudied population that experiences crisis of meaning/ spiritual crisis. There is a need for understanding of the spiritual dimensions of healing.

5 Forgiveness Overcoming resentment in the right way Without excusing the behavior Without maintaining contempt toward the wrongdoer (Encyclopedia of Philosophy, 2006, p.697) Among survivors of violent crimes: A response to ameliorate psychological distress not to restore social harmony (Field, Zander, Hall, 2013)

6 Forgiveness Forgiveness is comparable, but not identical between primary victims of violence and secondary victims (Cooney, Allan, Allan, McKillop, & Drake, 2011) 59% of secondary victims did not believe that forgiving would benefit anyone. Believed forgiveness would be a betrayal of trust toward the primary victim.

7 Forgiveness among Homicide Survivors Homicide survivors: Three orientations to forgiveness (Hourigan, 2016) Intrapersonal: Within oneself Interpersonal: Between the survivor and the murderer Extra-personal: In the hands of a higher power

8 Secondary Analysis Prior Study RQ: What is the process of spiritual change experienced by survivors of homicide? (N = 30) Current Study RQ: What is the role of forgivingness in the process of spiritual change as experienced by the surviving loved ones of homicide victims? (N = 18) Limitations of secondary analysis

9 Thematic Analysis Secondary Data Analysis Preparation Process: Pulled all descriptions of forgiveness (i.e., forgive, forgave, letting go) Braun & Clarke (2006) 5 steps: Immersion in data Name codes Identify themes Refine themes Define themes

10 Major Themes Spiritual Benefits: Release of preoccupation and difficult emotions Choice: Difficult, often ongoing Facilitators: Spiritual influences and desire for personal healing were frequent prompts. Barriers: Desire for accountability was named as a barrier to willingness to forgive.

11 Emotional & physical healing for the survivor Forgiveness was not about the perpetrator. It was all about myself. It was all about freeing myself from the rage and the blame, and so I would practice it. For 15 years, I had every disease and symptom of people under stress; [my] stomach hurt all the time...[i had] migraine headaches 3 times a week Stress. For not forgiving that man. I was so stressed out After that (forgiving the offender), I didn t have any more headaches. They just stopped. All of my ailments related to stress were gone. It was amazing.

12 Additional benefits for the survivor Because of my choice to forgive and be faithful, I get to be used by God to affect other people s lives. I m more forgiving than I ever was. My daughter can scream in my face cause she s mad about something, and I have yet to hold any of that against her. My sister can be snippy. My mom can be snippy. I forgive way easier now than before.

13 Forgiveness is a personal choice, often a difficult one, often ongoing. where I am now, the choices that I made based on my feedback from God, my relationship with God, my personal faith it s all choice, it s not like I wake up everyday and feel all forgiving I don t forgive him. I don t wanna forgive him. I don t want anyone to forgive him I can t let myself say I forgive you for murdering my son

14 God s prompting & modeling I just couldn t believe that God really wanted me to forgive the person that murdered my son So in order to be the type of Christian that God calls me to be, that was one of my hugest lessons learned. Just acknowledging that, that God can forgive them, God can forgive me, 7 x 70, which is every 2.93 minutes. If you do the math, God can forgive me 490 times a day. Then I, too, can forgive.

15 Desire for Earthly & Spiritual Accountability I didn t like the fact that you could say, Okay Jesus. I m here, I m ready. And I m gonna tell you that I m really sorry that I murdered three people. And now I just wanna go to Heaven. The religious point of view is the same for forgiveness except I would have to absolve (M) of any, of any blame, any responsibility for that, and I don t see how anyone could do that.. So, I ve got all kinds of questions about religion.

16 Separating forgiveness and accountability helped overcome this barrier I forgave my dad, not to let him off the hook, but to let me off the hook. You know? The consequence was he s serving life in prison. Even though I was restoring a relationship with him, it didn t mean I wasn t going to protest the parole. I still did. Cause, you know, when you kill my mom, you get to stay in prison for life. But I can have a relationship with you. But I saw that he had changed.

17 Discussion Loaded from a Christian perspective but there s not a single Christian perspective. While forgiveness can benefit the survivor, it s a very personal and emotionally charged choice. How one defines forgiveness seems integral in willingness to engage it. (Exploring a survivor s definition may be a therapeutic inlet.) More research needed to expand on spiritual dimensions of forgiveness among homicide survivors.

18 Clinical Questions If forgiveness often brings healing but it is also crucial that it be a choice, should we encourage it? If so, how and when? How have you heard clients conceptualize forgiveness?

19 Other Clinical Implications? Did any other clinical ideas or questions arise during the presentation that you d like to share?

20 References Cooney, A., Allan, A., Allan, M. M., McKillop, D., & Drake, D. G. (2011). The forgiveness process in primary and secondary victims of violent and sexual offences. Australian journal of psychology, 63(2), Field, C., Zander, J., & Hall, G. (2013). Forgiveness is a present to yourself as well An intrapersonal model of forgiveness in victims of violent crime. International Review of Victimology, 19(3), Hourigan, K. L. (2016). Homicide survivors' definitions of forgiveness: intrapersonal, interpersonal, and extrapersonal orientations. Violence and Victims, 31(5), Johnson, S. K. & Armour, M. P. (2016). Finding strength, comfort, and purpose in spirituality after homicide. Psychology of Religion and Spirituality, 8(4), doi: /rel

21 References Johnson, S. K. & Zitzmann, B. (2018). A grounded theory of the process of spiritual change among homicide survivors. Journal of Death and Dying. doi: / Laughon, K., Steeves, R. H., Parker, B., Knopp, A., & Sawin, E. M. (2008). Forgiveness, and other themes, in women whose fathers killed their mothers. Advances in Nursing Science, 31(2), McCullough, M. E., Bellah, C. G., Kilpatrick, S. D., & Johnson, J. L. (2001). Vengefulness: Relationships with forgiveness, rumination, well-being, and the Big Five. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 27(5), van Denderen, M., de Keijser, J., Gerlsma, C., Huisman, M., & Boelen, P. A. (2014). Revenge and psychological adjustment after homicidal loss. Aggressive behavior, 40(6), Wusik, M. F., Smith, A. J., Jones, R. T., & Hughes, M. (2015). Dynamics among posttraumatic stress symptoms, forgiveness for the perpetrator, and posttraumatic growth following collective trauma. Journal of Community Psychology, 43(4),