Taking Control of Anger. Coping Plan

Transcription

1 Taking Control of Anger Coping Plan

2 Coping Plan Review what you have learned and practiced Review your Journal and all of your worksheets. Answer the following questions: 1. Anger precipitants. What are some of your anger precipitants? What events, memories, associations, or feelings precede your anger? 2. Cues. What are the best behavioural cues to use your anger management skills? 3. Relaxation. What are the most effective calming skills for you and how do you use them effectively? 4. Key Questions and coping thoughts. What key questions and coping thoughts work best for you? 5. Problem solving. What specific steps help you solve problems constructively? 2

3 6. Key ideas. What are six key ideas from this course that you want to commit to memory and to action? Plan ahead for anger management This exercise can help you plan coping responses for anger-provoking situations that you expect will occur in the next few days. Step 1. Start by identifying the situation, including enough details so you are clear about the exact set of circumstances you are planning for. Step 2. Identify one or more cues that tell you it s time to deal with your anger (e.g. criticizing, pointing your finger, raising your voice, being sarcastic, feeling flushed). 3

4 Step 3. Plan how to use the anger management skills you ve learned. Note how you will calm yourself, the specific coping thoughts you plan to use, and any constructive problem-solving actions you will use to keep your anger from escalating. 1. Situation: 2. Cues to cope: 3. How to cope: 4. Relaxation/calming skills: Coping Thoughts: Quick Tips The following phrases may help you keep anger from escalating (adapted from the work of Donald Meichenbaum, PhD): Take a deep breath and relax. Getting upset won t help. There s nothing to be gained in getting mad. I m not going to let him/her get to me. No one is right, no one is wrong. We just have different needs. I ll stay rational, anger won t solve anything. Let them look upset and foolish. I can stay cool and calm. Take a time-out. Cool off and then come back and deal with it. Some situations don t have good solutions. Look likes this is one of them. No use getting all bent out of shape about it. Anger means it s time to relax and cope. This is kind of funny, if you look at it that way. 5. Coping thoughts (trigger thoughts to identify and challenge/change): 6. Problem-solving skills: 4

5 Maintain your well-being When your body and mind are optimally healthy you will be less likely to feel anger and less likely to act aggressively. The corollary is that the when your body and mind are unhealthy (e.g. tired, hungry, physically weak), it doesn t take much to trigger feelings of anger or an aggressive response. Tips to improve your physical well-being Regular exercise is a healthy and effective way to manage your mood. Just getting outside for a walk in the sunshine can help you feel better about yourself and provide you with a break from any worries that you have. The greatest benefits of exercise occur when your heart beats to within 50 to 75% of its maximum. (The maximum heart rate for men is 220 beats/minute minus their age; for women the maximum is 200 beats/minute minus their age). These benefits occur if the activity is sustained for a total of 30 minutes in one day, three to four days a week. This means that you should go for a brisk walk, jog, or swim, for half an hour, several days a week. Remember, if you are starting to exercise for the first time, begin slowly and increase the activity gradually over a period of several weeks. Be sure to consult your physician before beginning any vigorous exercise program. Light intensity: strolling gardening playing Frisbee bowling Moderate intensity: brisk walking biking dancing push-ups or sit-ups or light weight lifting climbing stairs tennis in-line skating swimming 5

6 Tips to improve your nutritional well-being The foods you eat can influence your mood, and anger is no exception. Anger can drain your body of nutrients and energy consequently, you need to ensure that you provide your body with proper nourishment. Be sure that your daily food choices include: Whole grain products (e.g., whole grain cereal or bread, barley or brown rice, bran flour in muffins) Dark green and orange vegetables and orange fruit Milk and milk products (e.g., yogurt, cottage cheese, puddings) Lean protein (e.g., poultry, fish, lentils, eggs, peanut butter, tofu) Few added fats (e.g, low-fat versions of salad dressing, low-fat condiments such as mustard and salsa rather than mayonnaise) Cutting back on caffeine consumption may contribute to better anger management. Caffeine stimulates the sympathetic nervous system which governs the stress response. This, in turn, can influence your likelihood of feeling anger or responding aggressively. Withdrawal from caffeine can also cause symptoms that can increase the likelihood of anger (headaches, drowsiness, irritability, difficulty concentrating). Thus, keep caffeine consumption to a moderate level and if you are trying to reduce your caffeine consumption do so slowly, over a period of a couple of weeks. Some quick tips: For an energizing meal or snack, try cereal with skim milk or a bagel with non-fat cream cheese, chicken, turkey, or tuna For a calming meal or snack, eat crackers, a baked potato, dried fruit, whole-grain break, pretzels, rice cakes, or air-popped popcorn Don t skip breakfast. Your body needs the energy in the morning and you might overeat at lunch Avoid sugary breakfasts (e.g. a donut) which can cause your mood to slump later that morning Keep alert in the afternoon by eating a small low-fat lunch rich in protein like chicken breast, tuna, yogurt or a green salad with fresh fruit To wind down at the end of the day, choose pasta, rice, or potatoes with your dinner plus a salad 6

7 Tips to improve your sleep Managing anger is problematic if you are sleep deprived or not sufficiently rested. Sometimes waking up on the wrong side of the bed is simply a reflection of poor sleep. There is an emerging consensus among sleep researchers that most adults require at least 8 hours of sleep per night in order to feel and function at their best. Even small increases in the amount of sleep per night (if you are getting less than 8 hours) seem to pay off in better functioning and mood states. Regular sleep is another important factor. The ideal is to retire and awake at regular times throughout the week. This can prove difficult if you sleep late on weekend because you were out late the previous night, or because you are trying to catch up on sleep debt from the previous week. Varying no more than one hour from night to night (preferably less) is a good goal. Improve your sleep environment by minimizing any noise and light Do something relaxing like reading a book, or taking a warm bath before going to bed Some people find a light snack or glass of milk helps them fall asleep. Avoid large meals just before bedtime. Do not have beverages or food containing caffeine in the evening. Try to establish a regular time for going to sleep and a regular time for waking up. Try to stick to these times, even on the weekend. Try to adopt a regular routine of physical activity or exercise during the day. Try to avoid vigorous exercise later in the evening. If you cannot get to sleep, don t toss and turn in bed. Get up and read a book or try a relaxing activity until you are drowsy and then go back to bed Don t use your bed during the day for reading or non-sleep activities Avoid alcohol as a sleep aid. Small amounts of alcohol often awaken or excite people while larger amounts will make you drowsy but interfere with the quality of sleep Counting sheep may not work for everybody, but visualizing a calm restful scene may be helpful in falling asleep and keep your mind from racing Ask your pharmacist for a mild over-the-counter sedative if you are still having trouble going to sleep. However, these medications should only be used for a few days. If you still have trouble falling asleep, see your doctor. In some instances, sleeplessness may be a sign of other health-related problems. 7

8 Congratulations on reaching the end of Taking Control of Your Anger. Hopefully this course has helped you learn more about anger and ways to manage and control it. And, with practice, patience, and persistence, you will undoubtedly begin to change your experience and expression of anger. When should you seek professional advice? No one is an expert at handling all of life s challenges and difficulties alone. Getting professional assistance can often avoid or stop prolonged suffering by helping you regain your balance and health more quickly. You should consider getting professional help if: You feel overwhelmed emotionally You are concerned about your physical or emotional health or your job. Your own efforts at managing anger are not working quickly or effectively, or You notice that your anger is significantly impacting the lives of people important to you. 8