Never Good Enough: Advising Perfectionist Students. Katie Dunn, Senior Academic Advisor, Brandeis University NACADA Region

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1 Never Good Enough: Advising Perfectionist Students Katie Dunn, Senior Academic Advisor, Brandeis University

2 Think of a perfectionistic student you worked with recently 1) What thoughts, feelings or behaviors did they exhibit? 2) How did their perfectionism impact their academics?

3 How do researchers define perfectionism?

4 Perfectionism is The pursuit of extremely high performance expectations, or high personal standards. (Slaney, Rice & Ashby, 2002)

5 Self-Oriented: Extremely high performance standards for themselves, drive for perfection comes from within Socially Prescribed: Believe others hold extremely high performance standards for them, internalize these expectations Types of Perfectionism

6 Self-Oriented Perfectionists: Take personal pride in achievements, success is a result of their effort and hard work Attribute failures to factors within and (sometimes) outside control Still feel a great deal of frustration and anger after any sort of failure Interpreting Successes and Failures

7 Interpreting Successes and Failures Socially Prescribed Perfectionists: Success is expected rather than something to be proud of; often attributed to external factors such as luck Focus on failures, failures are attributed to internal factors, assume personal blame

8 Is perfectionism on the rise in young people?

9 Perfectionism measured longitudinally in 41,000+ American, Canadian, and British college students (Curran & Hill, 2017) Between , self-oriented perfectionism increased 10% and socially prescribed perfectionism increased 33% Widespread social media use, a rise in meritocracy, specifically that a college degree is inevitable, given as possible theories. Perfectionism & Young Adults

10 In what ways does perfectionism negatively impact success and well-being?

11 Maladaptive Perfectionism Characterized by discrepancy: the perception that one consistently fails to meet the standards set for oneself. (Slaney Rice, & Ashby, 2002) Self-worth is contingent on meeting these excessively high standards Very sensitive to criticism, highly concerned about making any mistakes Goals are performance-focused

12 Maladaptive Perfectionism Maladaptive perfectionism associated with: Increased depression Increased anxiety Difficulty regulating emotions Drinking alcohol to cope Low self esteem and self efficacy Mastery avoidance Procrastination

13 What are some environmental influences on perfectionism?

14 Family Influences Parenting Style: Maladaptive perfectionists reported their parents adopted a more authoritarian parenting style Self-oriented perfectionists reported their parents adopted a more authoritative parenting style

15 Family Influences Social Reaction Model: Children may develop perfectionist tendencies as a way to cope with a harsh and/or chaotic family environment Perfectionism seen as a way to escape, avoid shame, develop a sense of control.

16 Family Influences Helicopter Parenting: A study of college students and their mothers by Schiffrin & Liss (2017) found children s reports of maternal helicopter parenting were associated with maladaptive perfectionism Parent perfectionism: Some studies have suggested children may develop perfectionistic tendencies of the same-sex parent through modeling behaviors

17 School Influences Lack of challenge, continual success without experience of failure Stringent expectations from teachers and peers Peer groups built around ability, identity as the smart kid, positive feedback based on achievement Doing well in school a way to please others, reinforce self-worth; doing poorly associated with disappointment, shame

18 Can perfectionism ever be good or helpful?

19 Adaptive Perfectionism or Healthy Strivers Strive for excellence and mastery and gain pleasure from achievements but are able to cope with less than perfect Tend to be orderly and conscientious In most cases meet high standards they set Shown to have high levels of: Ø Self esteem and self-efficacy Ø Interpersonal adjustment Ø Emotional regulation Ø Academic achievement (GPA)

20 University of Texas Counseling Center, 2014

21 How can we best work with perfectionist students?

22 Building Rapport Listen empathically and take student seriously-this can be hard sometimes! Affirm students strengths and validate concerns Ask open ended questions from a place of curiosity and non-judgment Avoid calling the student a perfectionist as that label may be perceived negatively

23 Additional Tools and Techniques Ask gently challenging questions: Ø What do you mean by that statement? Ø What s the worst that will happen? Ø How might you handle that? Ø How might you advise a friend in a similar situation? Acknowledge a culture of perfectionism if it exists at your school and normalize less than perfect Contextualize the long-term importance of the situation Encourage healthy striving and achieving balance over perfectionism, introduce concept of self-compassion

24 Additional Tools and Techniques Cognitive Restructuring/Reframing of Beliefs: Ø Notice thought errors and critique them Ø Where did this belief come from? Ø Is it objectively true? Ø What evidence do you have? Ø Is it helpful? Ø Is there another way to look at this? Escape the avoidance/anxiety loop with exposure. Good enough is acceptable. Use the policies of your school to help but not further hinder your student!

25 Thought Error Example

26 Anxiety/Avoidance Graph

27 Case Studies

28 Final Thoughts

29 Summary and Takeaways Perfectionism is a multidimensional characteristic on the rise among today s students Perfectionism is influenced by deep rooted factors such as personality, family, school, peers, and culture Perfectionism can lead to negative thoughts and behaviors which result in poorer mental health Healthy striving is a useful alternative framework to counter perfectionism Helping a student notice their perfectionism is an important first step

30 THANKS! Questions? Katie Dunn, Senior Academic Advisor, Brandeis University