ICPAK FLAMINGO HOTEL, MOMBASA COUNTY 24 TH AUGUST, HELLEN MACHARIA PRESENTATION BY: COUNSELING PSYCHOLOGIST

Transcription

1 ICPAK FLAMINGO HOTEL, MOMBASA COUNTY 24 TH AUGUST, PRESENTATION BY: HELLEN MACHARIA COUNSELING PSYCHOLOGIST

2 ATTITUDE AS THE PACEMAKER IN ONE S LIFE. WHAT MAKES A MAN? NUTRITIONISTS: FASHIONISTS: SOCIALISTS: PSYCHOLOGY: WORD OF GOD: What you eat What you wear Your company, what you drive, where you live. YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK Proverbs 23: 6-8: as a man thinketh, so is he

3 The quality of your life depends on the thoughts you entertain. The mind drives the entire body and so its health is key to healthy living. The key ingredient to a healthy mind is a POSITIVE ATTITUDE.

4 Attitude: a settled way of feeling or thinking about someone or something and it s occasioned through perception, ideas and beliefs Science says: a positive attitude has a direct connection with happiness and success.

5 The biggest disease that attacks the mind is NEGATIVE ATTITUDE. Negative attitude is occasioned by UNFINISHED BUSINESS which will manifest itself through negative emotions like: Anger Pain Conflict Jealousy Guilt All these lead to dysfunctionality in a person by keeping him unhappy and anxious causing those around him also to be affected either directly or indirectly.

6 BODY Physical & visible Well cared for, Nourished. Many medical professionals deal with it Controlled by the mind MIND Not physical & not visible. Not much cared for. Only, Psychiatrists & Psychologists deal with it Behind all things. Equated to: - Foundations of all strong buildings not seen. Concepts that work like in Maths but are never seen. - Gravitational force Physical health can be bought Mental health is created mind does that (As a man thinketh, so is he.

7 Points to note: The mind is responsible for creating identity: Constant thinking leads to development of attitude. Attitude leads to personality and behavior. An unhealthy mind causes dysfunctionality in people. (In most constitutions, a head of state may be removed from office owing to an unstable mind not physique).

8 5. One s attitude determines his /her freedom or imprisonment. The mind divides people into 2: (A). Those who wish to live: - care about the mind (B). Those who wish to die care about the body (Its gratification). - Lotto. 6. WHO has predicted that by year 2020, DEPRESSION will be the main disease affecting humans (the mind attitude).

9 7. SUICIDE IS THE 3 RD LARGEST KILLER TODAY (MIND). William James a Psychologist is on recording saying: THE GREATEST DISCOVERY OF THIS TIME IS HOW MAN CAN CHANGE HIS LIFE BY CHANGING HIS ATTITUDE. EXAMPLE: young man whose father used to teach him responsibility and his 2 attitudes.

10 CULTIVATING A HEALTHY ATTITUDE. ROMANS 12: 1-2 BE TRANSFORMED BY THE RENEWING OF YOUR MIND THAT YOU MAY PROVE WHAT IS THAT GOOD AND ACCEPTABLE AND PERFECT WILL OF GOD PROVERBS 16: 3. COMMIT YOUR WORKS UNTO THE LORD AND YOUR THOUGHTS SHALL BE ESTABLISHED. 1. SELF AWARENESS. 2. KEEP A GRATITUDE JOURNAL. 3. FOR THINGS YOU CANNOT CHANGE:

11 Change your attitude towards them. Instead of being anxious, bring the challenges before god. Know that sometimes you will WIN and sometimes you will LEARN. If you have done your best, be happy (avoid perfectionist tendencies). If you have to make changes to reach your goals: - Know what you want to change, figure it out how, do it quickly. - Try new points of view, different approaches (doctors).

12 REMEMBER: Rejection is inevitable. (Your ideas, love, associations). Appreciate self and others. Ask how many people do i love & not how many people love me? ( Will help you want to relate better). Keep a balanced mind by: - Working on inner conflicts (they bring negative thoughts). - Avoid unnecessary attachments and being dragged into other peoples complaints (they cause disturbances and confusion due to attitudes held).

13 Complaints and murmuring lead to low moods and negative emotions which cause motivational deficits hence decreased life satisfaction and optimism. Use positive words to describe yourself & situations but be honest. (Positive attitude towards self).

14 Words have power and the mind hears what you speak, all descriptions, good and bad are felt in the body and can cause behavior change. Think like a winner: Effort brings success. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. There is a positive in all things.

15 FAILURE: Failure is inevitable (we all make mistakes in life.) Failure can be caused by many factors you could be responsible for it or not. FEAR OF FAILURE: Is caused by the need for approval by others. We can do anything to avoid it because of the resulting pain, shame and anger.

16 NOTE: - CAN EASILY KILL SELF INITIATIVE Misinterpretation of failure can cost you opportunities. (Am stupid, i can never make it). (Remember that others opinion of you may not necessarily be true).

17 WHEN WE FAIL: We hold onto it Dread it Give it power over our emotions Allow it to dictate our way forward or backward e.g failure means am stupid, weak incapable, will never make it Cultivate a healthy attitude e.g. If I fail, am one step closer to success and am smarter because of the insight I have from the past experience Others opinion of you may not necessarily be true

18 WINSTON CHURCHILL AT GRADE 6 FAILED EXAMS AND HIS TEACHER THOUGHT HE WAS DOFFED BUT HE LATER BECAME PRESIDENT OF AMERICA. Failure is a teacher, motivator and a stepping stone towards achieving success. Change beliefs that are contrary to god s word and going against your goals. (Empty the negative box, fill the positive box and allow god to fulfill you.

19 HANDLING FAILURE 1. CULTIVATE A HEALTHY ATTITUDE: if I fail, am one step closer to success and am smarter because of the insight I have gained from the past experience. 2. DO NOT PERSONALIZE FAILURE. Separate failure from your identity to avoid your confidence and self esteem being affected. (Not finding a successful way of doing something does not make you a failure), you can explore further.

20 ABRAHAM LINCOLN. 21 YRS FAILED IN BUSINESS. 22YRS FAILED IN CLINCHING A LEGISLATIVE POST. 24YRS- FAILED IN BUSINESS AGAIN. 26YRS - HIS FIANCÉE DIED. 27 YRS- HAD A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. 34 YRS- LOST IN CONGRESSIONAL RACE. 45 YRS- LOST SENATORIAL RACE. 52 YRS BECAME AMERICAN PRESIDENT. (HE REFUSED TO LET FAILURE DEFINE HIM)

21 3. AFTER A FAILURE, TAKE STOCK AND ADAPT. Look at failure seriously and objectively. Do not dwell there- can be trapped in an emotional loop i.e no moving. You may not change the past but you can shape the future by learning from the failure. Suspend feelings of anger, blame, guilt, regret and frustration

22 QUESTIONS: - Why did I fail? - What might have produced a better result? - Was the failure completely beyond my control? - What did i learn? - How do i apply the new found insight going forward? DO IT QUICKLY.

23 4. BE SOLUTION FOCUSED AS YOU POINT OUT PROBLEMS.. Take positive criticism to make things better. Open your eyes at this time to see those reaching out to you, The alternatives available (drive away fear and devastating attitude; get you back on your feet.)

24 IN ALL THINGS, SEEK GOD S WISDOM AND REALIZE WHAT GIFTS HE HAS PUT IN YOU, USE THEM. PROV: 18: 16 A MAN S GIFT MAKES ROOM FOR HIM AND BRINGS HIM BEFORE GREAT MEN. YOU MAY ONLY NEED YOUR GIFT TO RISE UP.