Prostate Cancer: Then and Now

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3 Prostate Cancer: Then and Now Photographs by: AMY CREIGHTON Initiated & Supported by: NICHOLAS POWER MD 3

4 4 Prostate Cancer: Then and Now Prostate Cancer: Then and Now explores the many varied experiences of men currently living with a diagnosis of prostate cancer. The premise for this work is based upon two questions: What was your reaction/thought when you were first given your diagnosis? And What do you think of when you think of living with cancer now? The men in this body of work range in age, types of treatment for the disease and stages of the medical process. It has been a profound experience to work on a project such as this. The ten men that I have had the opportunity to meet with and interview regarding how they have processed and live with their diagnosis are indeed, extraordinary people. The one consistent thread for every man participating is that they want to be able to help others who will be affected by the prospect of having cancer. Many of the lives of these men, while potentially threatened by such an insidious disease, have become enriched in their everyday experiences; they are stronger, calmer and more at peace than how they described themselves prior to their diagnosis. It is rare these days to meet someone who hasn t been marked in some way by cancer. I hope that this work broadens the conversation and takes away some of the darkness. Even more importantly, I hope that this work honors the courageous men who have given of their time and shared their stories. Their answers have created a wide-ranging view of what it is like to overcome the detection of cancer. I am forever grateful to be a part of this project; to have had the opportunity to meet these men and to create the work that expands upon their experiences. It s always darkest before the dawn. Amy Creighton

5 I HEAR the Shadowy Horses, their long manes a-shake, Their hoofs heavy with tumult, their eyes glimmering white; O vanity of Sleep, Hope, Dream, endless Desire, The Horses of Disaster plunge in the heavy clay: Beloved, let your eyes half close, and your heart beat Over my heart, and your hair fall over my breast. Paraphrased W.B. Yeats ( ). The Wind Among the Reeds Prostate cancer is the most common cancer among Canadian men. Over 20,000 males will be diagnosed with prostate cancer each year in Canada. It is a devastating diagnosis for a number of reasons. Foremost is that for the majority, it is the first time many men have contemplated their own mortality. Such an existential crisis is an incredibly fearsome reality to face. While conceptually we all know that death is an inevitable part of living, potential death experienced from cancer has an unusual quality of being almost unfair, unreasonable, and undeserved. Yet I am continually uplifted by men who receive a prostate cancer diagnosis with grace, wisdom, and thoughtfulness. It is an honor to stand with these men as they face not only questions of their own mortality, but of living with side effects of treatment and diagnosis. Prostate Cancer: Then and Now was inspired by the many men who confront prostate cancer each year. The participants are incredible people who have produced a remarkable and unique perspective on some of the challenges that arise. I am indebted to them and the artist for far exceeding what I had imagined a few years ago. Nicholas Power MD 5

6 6 Name: Keith Then: Keith knew what it was, and was not shocked. There was a deep sense of disappointment and a concern for others. He felt a need to move ahead with the process; Keith wanted to know what happens next? May 2014 Now: Keith had a good outcome from his surgery; he had focused on feelng better, however, the experience forced thoughts of his own mortality. He had cancer, now it was gone and now what? His reality at the time of discussion was: annoyance dealing with incontinence after surgery. October 2014

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8 8 Name: Allan Then: Allan was a fit man and at the age of 56 was sent for a PSA test. He worked 60+ hours a week and felt fine. PSA levels came back high. Reaction: Shock, horror, numb... October 2012 Now: The experience has been a blessing. Allan doesn t think of himself as having cancer. Reality now: The people who have cared for him have become like his family. March 2016

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10 10 Name: Jim Then: Jim was initially told rather bluntly. He hadn t felt sick prior to his diagnosis. His reaction was terror; he felt very scared. March 2014 Continuation... : Jim s PSA was undetectable; very positive feeling. He felt that he had beaten it and had gotten his life back. Life began again. April 2015 Now: The cancer came back. Jim continues to be followed; he feels his doctor is doing a fantastic job. He maintains that it is a battle, and he is going to win. March 2016

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12 12 Name: Francisco Then: Francisco thought that it would never happen to him; that he was immune to such things. He had never needed help from anyone and now he was at the mercy of his friends and doctors. He described the feeling as that it was like watching a film about someone else s life Now: Francisco feels great, and enjoys his life more. Technically cancer free. The diagnosis was a wake up call; at any moment things can change. Now, Francisco takes the time to enjoy every second of life. October 2015

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14 Name: Anonymous Then: This gentleman was watched for a period of time. He had the option of doing nothing, monitering his PSA levels, radiation and chemotherapy or prostectomy. He chose the surgery. Initially, when getting his diagnosis he was devastated. He walked a lot on his own wondering, how could this happen to me? Early 2015 Now: After surgery he was discouraged due to the side effects, such as incontinence. Now, he has trouble with impotence; intimacy takes longer. July

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16 Name: Anonymous Then: This gentleman felt kind of numb with a sense of disbelief; then fear set in. Even with all of the assurances, there was uncertaintity for which type of treatment option to take. Mid 2013 Now: It has become a silver lining. His pace has slowed; began to enjoy walking, nature, reading books; spending more time with his wife. He found it was an amazing relief to stop; he never realized how wound up and busy he was before he retired. July

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18 Name: Jamie Then: Jamie went for routine bloodwork and his PSA had jumped. He was then sent for further testing. When told of his cancer he felt disbelief and full of anxiety. It was difficult dealing with time and waiting to know everything. Winter 2014 Continuation... : Jamie had spoken with many doctors before making his decision to have surgery. His urologist was a huge help in coming to this conclusion. This was a very dark period. 18 Now: Jamie now feels a tremendous sense of relief. He feels like he is standing in the sunshine.* April 2017 *Jamie and I spoke on the phone about his experience; while we were talking he was out for a walk in the woods.

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20 20 Name: Anonymous Then: This gentleman said that he had been waiting to hear he had cancer; many in his family had been affected by it. He wasn t at all surprised; he said that he had been waiting for the other shoe to drop. November 2016 Now: He is in a study and has had good results so far. He changed his nutrition, he walks a couple of miles every day, he has lost some weight; people tell him he doesn t look sick. He knows it is an insidious disease and therefore is now cautiously optimistic. April 2017

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22 Name: Robert Then: Robert had a routine doctor s visit and noticed the PSA test box wasn t checked off; he requested it be done, and his PSA came back high. When the results came back he was surprised and concerned. Fall of 2002 Continuation... : Robert chose to have surgery. Immediately following he had terrible incontinence. Robert is a farmer and was unable to perform his work without going through many pads in one day. His urologist helped him with this and he got his life back. March Now: Robert said that this experience changed his life dramatically; but what he feels the most now is that he is lucky. June 2017

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24 24 Name: Bill Then: Bill felt neutral when told about his PSA levels; it was not too big of a deal. His levels were low, and for now has chosen to be monitered. His life hasn t really changed. September 2016 Now: Bill hopes that it doesn t get any worse and is happy to watch how things go. He described this time now as being in a holding pattern. June 2017

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26 FAREWELL The time of departure has come I bid you farewell, You who were important to me, Will I miss you? I don t know, you will Leave, like that sunset where the sun dimmed before the energy of the darkness, To give birth to another dusk, in my Night sky perhaps there will flash one or more Shooting stars and must surely give way To the break of another dawn! And what will you say? Will you leave me still? Why treat me this way? Was I not useful to you? I entreat a second chance! But you know, It is too late, and I can no more, There is no time, For us both, It is either you or I, So farewell prostate I must go. A poem written and generously contributed by Francsico. 26

27 Credits: Funded by the Canadian Urology Association Scholarship Foundation All images copyright of Amy Creighton Printed by Minuteman Press 100 Bessemer Rd #7, London, ON N6E Produced and Edited by Amy Creighton Front cover: Now Keith Back cover: Then Keith 27

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