What Does a Repentant Addict Look Like? California Pastoral Conference Carlsbad, CA January 26-27, 2015 H. Curtis Lyon

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1 P a g e 1 What Does a Repentant Addict Look Like? California Pastoral Conference Carlsbad, CA January 26-27, 2015 H. Curtis Lyon It seems a bit strange that we should ask a question about repentance as it applies to addicts of whatever kind of addiction we may be talking about. After all repentance has to do with sin. Repentance is involved with addiction in that the addiction involves a sin. The obsessions and compulsions involved with addictions can be as many and varied as the types of addictions themselves. Virtually anything can be an addiction. It is not going too far to say the addict has chosen for him/herself an idol that is worshipped by subservience to the object of the addiction. For that reason we hear about workaholics as well as alcoholics and drug addicts. Smoking can and often does make a slave out of the smoker. Chocolate does that along with eating to excess, using the internet to excess, television to excess. Over time I have simply come to describe this kind of obsessive and compulsive personality trait as a ---holic personality. Add whatever you want to the front of it. Of course this is an oversimplification in a field that is anything but simple. We are only interested in the theological or better, spiritual aspects of addiction and appropriate fruits of repentance. This is the reason for the generalities and simplistic views that follow. The Definition of Repentance and Its Fruits Repentance involves two parts as Scripture defines it. The first part is a genuine acknowledgement and sorrow over sin. The second is a faith in Christ worked by the Holy Spirit by means of the gospel. With that faith comes the assurance sin has been forgiven by the Savior who paid for it with his life to save our lives for time and eternity. At the same time the Formula of Concord reminds us, On the contrary, after a person has been justified by faith, a true living faith becomes active through love (Gal. 5:6). Thus good works always follow justifying faith and are certainly to be found with it, since such faith is never alone but is always accompanied by love and hope. 1 Luther also in one of many places emphasizes the other side of the expectation of fruits of repentance, Therefore we have stated that these matters must be applied to the doctrine of repentance, which consists in contrition, in the serious acknowledgment of sin, and in taking hold of the promise. Not a single one of these factors was present in the repentance of Judas, for he was not truly sorry for his sin. No, he hated the punishment more than the guilt; he was sorry that he had been rejected, and he did not take hold of the mercy of God. 2 A problem arises when we try to determine what fruits of repentance should look like. This is a problem partly because we can see sorrow when it is demonstrated but we have no way of determining whether it is genuine. Similarly we can hear a statement of faith in Christ s forgiveness but we cannot see or measure whether that faith is genuine. That means that it will be difficult, likely impossible to determine whether fruits of repentance are genuine. We might want to have a roadmap of canon law to use to 1 Tappert, T. G. (Ed.). (1959). The Book of Concord the confessions of the Evangelical Lutheran Church. p.. hiladelphia hlenberg ress. 2 Luther, M. (1999). Luther s works, vol. 7: Lectures on Genesis: Chapters (J. J. Pelikan, H. C. Oswald, & H. T. Lehmann, Eds.) (Vol. 7, pp ). Saint Louis: Concordia Publishing House.

2 P a g e 2 prescribe fruits of repentance but again we would have no way of knowing whether those fruits are genuine. To put the matter as simply as possible, risking oversimplification, a repentant addict is a person who acknowledges that his addiction, whatever that might be has resulted in a relationship with that addiction that makes the object a god in his/her life and thus is involved not only in an addiction but in a sinful addiction. Along with that acknowledgement comes the desire to be assured of forgiveness for this sin and to find that assurance in Christ. As a result of the law s lesson on sin and the gospel s assurance of forgiveness in Christ will come the desire and commitment to leave the addiction. I have to admit that this is an ideal. In fact in my experience it is never that simple in reality. I have provided this simple definition to offer a background for what is probably not the satisfactory response to this assignment namely what things may keep this from progressing to the desired outcome we pray for? Scriptural Examples of the Fruits of Repentance First we might want to look at some scriptural examples of fruits of repentance. As we look at them we might want to notice that the fruits are often spontaneous and not prescribed. 1. King David and Nathan 2 Samuel 12. David acknowledged his sin and Nathan told him of the consequences of that sin of adultery and murder. The child Bathsheba would bear would die and the sword would mark the remainder of David s reign as king. The repentance came from within as David accepted the Lord s chastisement with his words, While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, Who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let the child live. 23 But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me. 2 Samuel 12: In addition we could add David s penitential psalms that involve repentance for any and all sin but often point directly to this event and the actions associated with it. 2. Zacchaeus Luke 19. This man was an acknowledged sinner. Jesus was criticized for even eating with a man like this. But Jesus could evaluate genuine repentance and genuine fruits of repentance. It would appear that the response of this tax collector was spontaneous following Jesus visit. Jesus gives us his evaluation of this response. But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount. Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. 10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost. Luke 19:9-10. There is, however, no indication that the assurance of salvation was based on the fruits of repentance. Rather it seems obvious that the fruits of repentance were based on sorrow over sin and trust in forgiveness that Christ provided. 3. John the Baptizer Luke 3:1-1. ultitudes came to hear John s preaching of repentance. Upon hearing what John had to say and that repentance involved a complete change of mind

3 P a g e 3 people with different occupations and different backgrounds asked for guidance as John directed them to produce in keeping with repentance, ποιήσατε οὖν καρποὺς ἀξίους τῆς μετανοίας. Again the desire to produce fruits was spontaneous. The people simply asked John for directions in determining what fruits might be worthy of repentance. John gave them the guidance they requested. He did not tell them that their fruits would make their repentance real. Of course these are only examples. Many others could be cited. The point here is that fruits are not prescribed actions that make repentance real. Fruits of repentance come from a changed heart, changed by the power of the Holy Spirit working through the Word. Obviously the same is true in the case of an addict. A Few Examples of Obstacles to Producing Fruits of Repentance in Addictions I believe that all of us would agree that the fruits of repentance from an addict would be that he/she leaves the addictive behavior behind and that continuing acknowledgement of the need for spiritual support follows. If we agree that this is the desired fruit of repentance given by a recovering addict then the reality is that it doesn t always happen this way. Alcoholics Anonymous and Behavior Modification Behavior modification simply means that the goal is that an unacceptable or unwanted behavior is changed. We might use the silly example of a person who goes to the doctor complaining that his shoulder hurts when he raises his arm. The doctor s prescription is that the person stop raising his arm that way. Similarly the goal of AA is that the alcoholic no longer drinks alcohol and is no longer controlled by it. Bear in mind that AA serves a wide variety of interests and needs to allow members to feel comfortable in their particular station in life. Some things may be emphasized on one place that might not be in others. For example some groups are in a church setting. Some are for homemakers, and so forth. The point, however, is the same. My purpose here is not to go into a variety of the obvious theological problems with the program but simply to point out the fact that stopping the behavior is the only goal. As result the spiritual elements of sin and grace do not even enter the picture in spite of regular references to a power greater than one s self. See appendix A particularly 3 and B particularly 6 1. Repentance and Weakness How does one tell whether a person committed to rehabilitation is simply weak in his ability and needs continuing support? He/she may need that support indefinitely to conquer the addiction. On the opposite end of the spectrum the when the addict expresses his/her weakness that may mean that there is no desire or intention to repent and leave the addiction. How does a person tell the difference? I suppose that is the point of this paper. Please let me know the answer. 2. Denial and Lying One of the most common obstacles to an acknowledgement of sin and a desire for forgiveness is denial. Denial comes close to being a part of the definition of what an addict is. At the same time lying is an obvious stepbrother to denial. If denial is lying to myself then lying to others will follow naturally. This may involve things like stashes of liquor or drugs, a refusal to admit that this addiction is real. I drink sometimes heavily but that doesn t mean

4 P a g e 4 I m an alcoholic. Denial often sounds like, This is no problem. I can handle it myself. The falsehoods can go on into perpetuity. 3. It s a Disease. Chemicals such as alcohol, nicotine, illegal or prescription drugs are involved obviously these will have a chemical effect on the addict. Sometimes accepting that this is a disease has a negative effect on dealing with the problem. For example, if it is a disease then it s not my fault and I can t do anything about it. That is a common misconception and it is a common way to avoid confronting an addiction. Even the medical community can wittingly or unwittingly support this leaving an addict to conclude that this is an excuse for the problem and not what it really is, namely an explanation of the problem. The mistaken confounding of explanation versus excuse is all too common. The use of this misconception has implications that go far beyond the limited scope of this brief paper. 4. I was born this way. In some cases this is sadly true but usually not in the sense the addict thinks. We are all too aware of crack babies, fetal alcohol syndrome and the like. But these are the sad results of the behavior of an abuse or addiction, not an excuse for the addict not to deal with his/her addiction. The truth is that those born into alcoholic or drug abusing families are just as likely to grow to adulthood hating those behaviors as they are to grow to adulthood adopting those behaviors. 5. It s not hurting anyone else. Addicts may more often than not be so self-centered or addiction-centered that no one else matters. The belief is that If no one else can be hurt by the addict s behavior then there is no need to deal with the addiction. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Many of you may be familiar with the process of an intervention in the case of some addiction. The setting for an intervention is a planned meeting of a number of people close to the addict. The addict is not aware that he/she will soon be the center of the attention of those at the meeting. Often a suitcase is packed near the door so that if the addict chooses he may leave. Staying and leaving is his/her choice. Leaving the addiction unaddressed is not an option. One of the critical elements of an intervention is that those attending, family members, the pastor, others in a position to help are encouraged to write letters that they will read to the addict. The part of the intervention that is sometimes unexpected sometimes even by those participating is that the letters they write are not about the person and his behavior. The subject matter is how that person s addiction and addictive behavior has affected the life of this particular person, spouse, child, friend, etc. Clearly this process attacks the idea that the behavior of the addict affects no one besides the addict. 6. I ll try I m just weak and I can t help myself. In a course I took on counseling techniques one of the points a very intelligent and gifted professor made involved the word, try. Clinical activities were held for some of the students at a place called the Safer Institute where the majority of people were addicts. In sessions many of the students asked what the addict intended to do about the problem of addiction. Very often the answer was, I m really going to try to beat this problem. How will you do it? I will try to be stronger than the addiction or whatever a similar answer might be. According to this professor and often proved in my

5 P a g e 5 experience the word try means, Don t bother me anymore. I m not going to do anything. In short, when dealing with an addict be cautious of the word try and its synonyms. 7. I Can Do It Myself Anyone who has visited a Christian Book Store knows that the self-help section is likely to be one of the biggest sections and one of the most visited departments of the store. Twelve step programs are not limited to recovery from different kinds of addictions. Like AA these 12 step programs no matter how they refer to God as they often do, cannot by definition be genuinely Christian. In fact I consider Christian Self Help to be an oxymoron. The gospel is about God s work for us not our work for ourselves. Any and all of these excuses have one sad outcome. If followed they not only hinder a person s commitment to conquer an addiction they more importantly keep a person from recognizing the sin of addiction and the need for forgiveness for the sin involved. In short there is no need for the real healing that is only found in the gospel and has the power to change the heart and not just the behavior. Conclusion If this paper produces nothing else I hope that it would make clear that there is no way to prescribe the fruits of repentance. If the desire was that this produce a system of canon laws to look for to determine whether repentance is genuine then I willingly admit that I have failed. As a servant of Christ equipped with his law and especially his gospel that is the only thing that can change a heart we can have no prescribed fruit of faith or evidence of repentance other than that the person recognizes that he/she is held captive by sin and can only be released from that captivity by the gospel of Christ that has won full and free forgiveness. That is a fruit of faith. Other fruits of repentance or lack of fruits do not guarantee that repentance is genuine. As with any and every sin the tools God has provided through which he accomplishes true repentance are the law and the gospel. He has entrusted these tools to us and expects us to use them for the purpose that he gave them. With the amount of attention on various forms of addiction and the consequences of it in our society today we can easily be turned to some program, hospitalization, a rehab facility or whatever. That is not to say that these and many other resources are not valuable or may even essential. The point is that our tools are the law and the gospel. Anything else that assists in accomplishing the goal of conquering an addiction is an adjunct to the tools God has given us. Our goal is repentance. Conquering the addiction is the by-product. For anyone else it is very likely that the opposite is true if repentance is a concern at all. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

6 P a g e 6 WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Here I would like to present some situations for the purpose of discussion as time allows. The purpose is to provide possible evidence of repentance as well as some of the problems with trying to evaluate what fruits of repentance are appropriate for an individual addict. The examples that I am using are situations that I have experienced. I won t tell you what I did in the situations. You can let us know what you would do so I can learn from you. 1. This man has been an alcoholic for years. He is at a point where he must admit the fact. He is on his death bed dying from cirrhosis of the liver. The scene is disturbing to say the least. The man has avoided church and church authority for a long time. Now he knows he is dying and he wants to be assured of forgiveness. What would you do? 2. A member calls and asks that I speak with her husband who has come home drunk again. She has called the police and obtained a restraining order. She knows that if she does not follow the directions of the TRO herself it will be revoked and her chances of renewing it a practically nil. She decides after two days to allow her husband to come home in spite of warnings against this action. What would you do? 3. A man is clearly an alcoholic but he refuses to admit it. His family will not talk to him about it. Attempts are make to force him to recognize the problem. A CT scan shows that 5% of his brain has turned to water. This is the reason for the times he has collapsed or passed out. He admits nothing. He is taken to a psychologist in the company of his pastor. During the conversation he suddenly cannot hear when the subject of his drinking is brought up. What would you do? 4. A man is confronted by his family about his drinking. His wife tells him that if he does not stop drinking she will file for divorce. He refuses and she carries out her threat. What would you do? 5. A young man has been using drugs for a long time and drinking heavily at the same time. At the final point of his abuse he is doing $100 worth of cocaine a day and drinking as much as a case of beer. He has had several automobile accidents. He decides he has to do something about the problem because under the influence of drugs and alcohol he leaves Illinois and finds himself in Osh Kosh, WI with no idea how he got there. He participates in a lengthy period of personal consultation. His recovery qualifies as a success but he refuses to return to church though he freely admits that he would not have made this progress without God and his Word. What would you do? 6. A woman is admitted to a 28 day program for rehabilitation because she has been drinking to excess. She is heard to say as she is leaving the hospital that she won t have trouble dealing with her drinking as long as her arthritis doesn t kick up. What would you do?

7 P a g e 7 Appendix A Service Material from the General Service Office THE TWELVE TRADITIONS OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (SHORT FORM) 1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity. 2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. 3. The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking. 4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole. 5. Each group has but one primary purpose to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers. 6. An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose. 7. Every A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. 8. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers. 9. A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve. 10. Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy. 11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films. 12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities. Copyright A.A. World Services, Inc. Rev.5/9/02

8 P a g e 8 Appendix B Service Material from the General Service Office THE TWELVE STEPS OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. (now known as Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.) All rights reserved. Rev.6/4/12 SM F-121