Addiction and the Family

Transcription

1 Addiction and the Family RANDOLPH P HOLMES MD FASAM FAAFP 1

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5 The Modern Family 48% of households have a married couple 20% of households have married couple with children 27% of households are a single person living alone 10% of households are headed by a single parent Blended families are increasingly common 5

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7 Add Addiction into the picture 7

8 Substance Abusers and Families Suffer Together Every single member of a substance abuser s family is affected in some way. Addiction impacts a family s finances, physical health and psychological wellbeing. Each addict s situation is different which means each family s situation is different. Families become distorted and out of balance as a result of dealing with addiction. 8

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10 Roles The enabler- usually the spouse. The hero- older child who overachieves. The scapegoat- younger child who is defiant and misbehaves. The mascot- uses humor as a coping mechanism to achieve peace at home. The lost child- isolated from other family members and has trouble in social situations. Roles When these roles are established during childhood, they become behavioral patterns that continue to play out and evolve throughout adulthood. The late development of an addiction (when adult children are present) creates another set of issues and parent/child lines are blurred. Friends can take on these same roles. 10

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12 Children 1 in 5 Americans lived with an alcoholic relative at some point during their childhood. The affects of parental alcoholism/addiction can be felt long after childhood and well into adulthood. Children can have poor self image, guilt, anxiety, and feelings of helplessness. They are at high risk of substance abuse themselves as the grow up. 12

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14 Rules In Alcoholic Families Don t talk Don t trust Don t feel Don t ask Don t think Don t make a mistake Don t play 14

15 What Do You Do? 15

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18 Things you can do for the addict Behave as you would if your loved one had a serious illness Educate yourself on addiction Do not enable, provide excuses, or cover up for the addict Do not protect the addict from the consequences of their behavior Set boundaries 18

19 Things you can do for yourself Take care of yourself Avoid self blame Do not work harder than the addict for their recovery Ask for help, talk with a professional Do not discuss things with the addict if they are under the influence Detach from the disease not the person 19

20 Intervention Alcoholics, addicts, and their families often believe that they can stop whenever things get out of control Most alcoholics and addicts are in denial, believing the problem to be anything but themselves Interventions deal with selfish, self absorbed people who take no accountability for their actions and blame their problems on everyone else 20

21 Reason for Intervention Bring the problem into focus and get the alcoholic/addict to a crisis point, i.e.. Bring the bottom to the alcoholic/addict Should be led and organized by someone skilled in intervention Involves family and friends who are closest to the alcoholic/addict Should have treatment options offered to the alcoholic/addict to begin recovery 21

22 Helpful Links Al-Anon (al-anon.org) Nar-Anon (nar-anon.org) Gam-Anon (gam-anon.org) CODA (coda.org) Adult children (adultchildren.org) Families (familiesanonymous.org) 22

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