REWIRE WEEK 4 MODULE 7: FINDING YOUR LOCUS OF CONTROL

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1 REWIRE WEEK 4 MODULE 7: FINDING YOUR LOCUS OF CONTROL Have you been able to recognize the voice of your inner critic and use the exercise at the end of Module 6 to break down and fix cognitive distortions? If you need continue working on this, you can access Module 6 here. THE FINAL FRONTIER We re now entering the final week of REWIRE, and what a journey it s been so far! In the last three weeks, we ve become more in control of our time and digital habits by tackling the four-step negative feedback loop that s the underlying cause of technology addiction. In Weeks 1 and 2, we mastered the impulses and automatic thinking that had been leading us to mindlessly get lost in technology and replaced those behaviors with more sustainable, mindful, and goal-oriented methods for engaging with our devices. We then used the first part of Week 3 to work through the resistance to change that naturally crops up when we alter our habits, as illustrated by the J-Curve of change -- a predictable pattern that dictates things sometimes get harder before they get easier. By reconnecting with our why and writing down our personal mission statement in the exercise at the end of Module 5, we tapped into our intrinsic drive for mastery, autonomy, and purpose, which allowed us to sail to the upswing of the J-Curve where implementing new habits and rituals feels effortless.

2 In Module 6, we confronted the negative self-talk and fear-based thinking generated by our inner critic that can stand as a barrier to change. By learning to correctly identify and break down faulty thinking (known as cognitive distortions) we improved our self-perceptions so that they more accurately reflect reality. We effectively shifted away from a fixed mindset -- seeing our personalities as immutable -- to a growth mindset, where we view ourselves as capable of continuous positive improvement. I SHARE, THEREFORE I AM In the final week of REWIRE, we shift our attention to the last step in the four-part cycle of digital addiction, validation seeking, and examine why we crave positive feedback in the form of likes, comments, points, and responses. There s no denying anymore that real-time communication has a significant ability to influence our identity and self-worth, and consequently shape the way we behave and respond to the world around us. We turn to technology to feel heard and included so often that we may not even be aware of how dependent we ve become on the instant validation it provides. In fact, the effect has become so common and evasive that s it s earned names like selfie syndrome. Our culture has twisted Descartes philosophy of being from I think therefore I am to I share, therefore I am. There s a biological basis that drives our desire and evolutionary need to feel valued. When we feel like we ve done a good job in the eyes of others, we receive a hit of happiness chemicals (dopamine) to our brains and our self-esteem improves. It s in our nature, then, to want to feel like we re part of a social group -- and an effective, successful, high-value member at that. Before the Internet, our social webs were small, consisting mainly of family and friends we saw on a daily basis. But today that social group has grown to include the entire planet. It s also opened the door to receiving 24/7 feedback about what we re doing and how we re doing it. Technology, then, offers a new (albeit, risky and addictive) mechanism of seeking feedback. It becomes a yardstick by which we can measure our performance and gauge our self-worth in the eyes of the world: Am I doing a good job? Do people like me? Am I worthwhile human being deserving of praise and love? Our inclination to seek out, crave, and become codependent upon the feedback of others can be explained by a personality construct known as locus of control.

3 YOUR LOCUS OF CONTROL Each of us has a belief about how much control we have over the things we encounter in life. We each view life either as something we can control or something that controls us. Who controls your happiness? Who is responsible for your income? Your attitude? The extent to which a person feels they are in control of events that can affect their life, wellbeing, or success is referred to as locus of control (LOC). Locus of control is often associated with who a person views is responsible for their successes and failures: themselves or outside others. When you feel that someone or something else is in control of your existence and the things that happen to you, you have an external locus of control. People with an external locus of control are more likely to feel helpless and powerless and to indulge in a victim mentality or behavior such as blaming, criticizing, complaining, and giving up or checking-out. Because they are externally oriented when they fail to reach a goal, they blame it on things to do with other people or situations, never their own actions. For example, an externally oriented person who is overweight may blame their weight gain on a slow metabolism or a particular diet that is not working for them. By the same token, when they lose weight, they take little or no ownership over this positive outcome, instead attributing the good results perhaps to a nutritionist or diet drug they tried. When your locus of control is external, you also come to rely on external validation. Because you don t believe in yourself, you end up seeking the approval of others, possibly by replying to messages as quickly as possible to impress your boss or by posting photos to Instagram and keeping score of all the double-taps you get. In doing so, you give other people and external situations control over your emotional state and self-worth and by extension, over you. You have essentially placed your identity and value in the hands of others and have prioritized the opinions and priorities of others over your own. Alternatively, if you feel you are in control of things that happen to you, you have an internal locus of control. These people have an attitude of personal responsibility and believe that their choices and behavior influence the outcomes they experience in all facets of work and life. They feel their actions have a direct bearing on their results and they accept responsibility, as well as credit, for how things turn out. For example, when trying to lose weight a person with an internal locus of control will admit to himself or herself that they were not eating right or exercising enough. They will say, If I lose weight, it's because of my efforts. People with an internal locus of control hold themselves accountable for making changes in their life. Research suggests that people who operate with an internal locus of control are more successful in both personal and professional settings enjoying better health,

4 relationships and careers. They make better leaders and handle change more effectively than those with an external locus of control. WHO S THE BOSS Having a strong external locus of control can keep you stuck in the cycle of digital addiction. Take distractions at work, for example. Let s say you re trying to be productive and make headway on an important project that requires brainpower and dedicated focus, but your attention span is troubled by the constant ping of incoming s. A person with an external LOC would be much more distracted than someone with internal view of the situation. Someone more geared toward an inner locus of control might close their web browser or create a rule to only check twice a day, rather than process messages as they come in. Or even just turn off notifications for the next few hours while they focus on their assignment. The person with external LOC may blame others for bothering them, bemoan the existence of as an incessant interrupter, or feel an obligation to powers outside themselves to answer s as quickly as possible. On the other hand, the person with the internal LOC would prioritize their to-do list over other requests being made on their time via . They d take the situation into their own hands and be proactive about setting boundaries and creating systems to facilitate focus and actually get things done. By internalizing your locus of control by accepting that you have the ultimate control in your life you are accepting ownership of your actions. This means, amongst other things, that you are self-validating. You have no need for excuses (no more But, I have to send this text or else she ll be mad ). You re not afraid to be open and honest about what you want or what your priorities are (saying That doesn t need a response until tomorrow instead of responding instantaneously) and you don t worry so much about what other people think (you don t need to post cutesy couple photos on Facebook to prove you have a happy relationship). The combination of competence and confidence that comes from believing you are in control of yourself and the situation can make your power to change enormous.

5 LOCUS OF CONTROL PERSONALITY TEST EXERCISE People with an internal locus of control are less likely to seek external validation from sources like social media and rely less on technology to support their self-worth. But in order to shift your locus of control, you first need to understand where you sit on the spectrum of internal versus external control, which is what this survey will help you discover. Psychologist Julian Rotter developed the Locus of Control questionnaire in It measures the extent to which a person believes that actions determine the rewards that they obtain (internal locus of control) or if they believe that their own behavior doesn't matter much and that rewards in life are generally outside of their control (external locus of control). A low score indicates a strong internal locus of control while a high score indicates a high external locus of control. This survey will give you a general idea of where you stand on the locus of control personality dimension. In the next module we ll call upon the baseline you define here to arm you with ways to shift from an external to internal locus of control, so you become less susceptible to validation-seeking from technology. INSTRUCTIONS: 1. Indicate for each statement below whether it is T (true) or F (false) for you. There are no right or wrong answers. 2. Score your results using the rubric provided. 3. Read more about the interpretation of your results. LOCUS OF CONTROL SURVEY 1. I usually get what I want in life. 2. I need to be kept informed about news events. 3. I never know where I stand with other people. 4. I do not really believe in luck or chance. 5. I think that I could easily win a lottery. 6. If I do not succeed on a task, I tend to give up. 7. I usually convince others to do things my way. 8. People make a difference in controlling crime. 9. The success I have is largely a matter of chance. 10. Marriage is largely a gamble for most people. 11. People must be the master of their own fate. 12. It is not important for me to vote. 13. My life seems like a series of random events. 14. I never try anything that I am not sure of. 15. I earn the respect and honors I receive. 16. A person can get rich by taking risks. 17. Leaders are successful when they work hard. 18. Persistence and hard work usually lead to success. 19. It is difficult to know who my real friends are. 20. Other people usually control my life. TRUE FALSE

6 SCORING THE SURVEY Once you have completed the questions on the previous page, tally your score using the table below. For example, if you marked statement #1 true, add 5 points, and if you marked it false add none. TRUE 1. I usually get what I want in life I need to be kept informed about news events I never know where I stand with other people I do not really believe in luck or chance I think that I could easily win a lottery If I do not succeed on a task, I tend to give up I usually convince others to do things my way People make a difference in controlling crime The success I have is largely a matter of chance Marriage is largely a gamble for most people People must be the master of their own fate It is not important for me to vote My life seems like a series of random events I never try anything that I am not sure of I earn the respect and honors I receive A person can get rich by taking risks Leaders are successful when they work hard Persistence and hard work usually lead to success It is difficult to know who my real friends are Other people usually control my life. 0 5 MY POINTS INTERPRETING YOUR SCORE Score Degree of control personality 0-15 Very strong external locus of control External locus of control Both external and internal locus of control Internal locus of control Very strong internal locus of control External Scorers: You have a fairly strong belief that events are beyond your control. In other words, you do not feel that there is much of a connection between your behavior and your outcomes. You are relatively less likely than others to take credit for your successes or to take the blame for your failures. Instead, you tend to believe that success and failure are primarily a matter of luck, chance, or other people and things. Intermediate Scorers: A score in this range means that you have inconsistent views about the degree to which you control your own fate. You probably believe that you do control your own fate in some areas of your life, while believing that you have little control in other areas. Internal Scorers: You have a firm belief in your ability to influence your outcomes. Your relatively internal score means that you generally do not attribute your successes and failures to good and bad luck or chance factors. Instead, you feel that you can influence the course of what happens to you.