Building Emotional Intelligence. Presented by: Andria Hill-Lehr

Transcription

1 Building Emotional Intelligence Presented by: Andria Hill-Lehr Date: May 6, 2014

2 NSLAP Information English: French: TTY: Online: Confidential Counselling Available 24/7

3 Objectives Participants will: Become more familiar with the concept of Emotional Intelligence Explore strategies that will help them improve intrapersonal skills as well as interpersonal skills that will allow them to better understand themselves and others

4 Agenda What is Emotional Intelligence? Become more self aware Manage your emotions Become more socially aware Develop social skills Presence Authenticity Clarity Empathy

5 What is emotional intelligence? Emotional intelligence is Self awareness Self-management Social awareness Social skills Using emotions to navigate life successfully and productively Part skill or ability (something you can change and enhance) Part disposition or trait (your habitual pattern, stable over time) Key to maintaining satisfying and rewarding relationships

6 1. Become more self-aware Learning to examine your perceptions Being convinced that your presentation will not go well Questioning assumptions Not interpreting too fast someone s frowning or red eyes Identifying your feelings You re client s rudeness makes you feel unworthy, so you become aggressive

7 Path to self discovery What do you value in life? How do you live these values every day?

8 What is self-esteem? Self-esteem is An internal way of thinking, feeling, and acting High to low

9 Elements of self-esteem 1. Self-acceptance: the ability to accept yourself - strengths and weaknesses. 2. Self-respect: acknowledgement of your own dignity and values as a human being. 3. Self-reliance: trusting your behaviours and feelings are consistent enough to give you a sense of continuity. 4. Self-worth: believing you can fulfill your own personal needs, aspirations and goals.

10 Use positive self-talk and affirmations What you tell yourself and your beliefs about yourself contribute to your self esteem. You don t need to prove yourself capable you are. I am lovable and capable. I fully accept and believe in myself just the way I am. I am a unique and special person. There is no one else quite like me in the entire world. I accept all the different parts of myself. I m worthy as a person. I don t have to prove myself. My feelings and needs are important. It s good for me to take time for myself.

11 About self worth Feeling good enough and dealing with any issues related to shame are keys to developing self-worth &feature=related

12 Ability to understand your strengths and your weaknesses Being aware of your strengths and your weaknesses allows you the power to choose realistic goals. Knowing your weaknesses dispels fear and shame

13 2. Self management Manage your emotions What does it mean to manage your emotions? Components of the emotional system e.g. car accident Thoughts Physiological changes Behaviours

14 Ways to manage emotions Become aware of your thoughts Colleague or boss who comes charging inside your office with a concern pause, investigate Recognize physiological changes You feel flushed your voice changes you are gritting your teeth Take charge of your behaviour You begin to tap your pencil or become fidgety when you feel nervous

15 3. Develop social intelligence 5 basic skill categories 1. Social Awareness 2. Presence 3. Authenticity Social skills 4. Clarity 5. Empathy Karl Albrecht: Social Intelligence: The New Science of Success

16 1. Social Awareness Social radar Understanding of social rules Respectful interest and understanding of other people

17 2. Presence Are you approachable? Do you convey a sense of confidence, professionalism, kindness, and friendliness? Do you communicate shyness, insecurity, animosity, or indifference?

18 Building the skills of PRESENCE Try to imagine what the experience of meeting you for the first time would be like for another person. How do you want it to be? Write a brief description of yourself, Leave a long message on your voic system and play it back a few days later. Record a conversation with friends Ask one or more close friends to share with you the impressions they got when meeting you for the first time.

19 3. Authenticity Are you acting in ways that contract your personal values? Do you ever do something and then feel uneasy about the choice you made? Do you manipulate others or allow others to manipulate you? Does your behavior focus on gaining others' approval, regardless of how you truly feel?

20 Building the skills of Authenticity Make a list of your "emotional inputs Get a book about values and think through your primary values, the things you hold most dear. Are you behaving in ways that actualize those values? Write a personal mission statement Are you living the mission you want to live?

21 Be genuine Express your own truth Others appreciate honesty and authenticity. If you are consistent, you are more likely to be trusted by others. Show emotion Being genuine requires you to show emotion and allow yourself to be vulnerable. Vulnerability allows others to see what you are really thinking and feeling.

22 4. Building the skills of clarity Study the ways highly articulate people present ideas Take a diagnostic vocabulary test to assess the size and breadth of your working vocabulary. Collect clever and powerful metaphors and introduce them into your conversation. Train yourself to illustrate your ideas with sketches, cartoons, or diagrams.

23 5. Empathy Empathy allows you to identify with another person and their situation Are you able to tune in to other people as unique individuals? Do you show that you're willing and able to accept them as they are, for what they are?

24 Develop empathy skills Study a person who seems unable to connect with others easily Study a person who seems to connect with others easily When relating to others try to put yourself in their shoes. Avoid stereotyping and judging too quickly Ask questions

25 Summary Discover your own strengths and weaknesses Be open to feedback and new perspectives Be aware of your feelings Pay attention to other people s feelings, needs and interests Find and express you own voice Act according to your personal values Develop skills in how to communicate clearly

26 Books Want to learn more? Goleman, D. Working with Emotional Intelligence Goleman, D. Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships Weisinger, H. Emotional Intelligence at Work Albrecht, K. Social Intelligence: the New Science of Success Websites (founded by Daniel Goleman)

27 NSLAP Information English: French: TTY: Online: Confidential Counselling Available 24/7