Philosophy of Love, Sex, and Friendship. Elliston. "In Defense of Promiscuity" Strategy. Elliston's strategy is to define promiscuity

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1 Elliston "In Defense of Promiscuity" 1 Strategy Elliston's strategy is to define promiscuity Refute several arguments against promiscuity Then, defend sexual promiscuity 2

2 What Promiscuity Isn't Promiscuity is not indiscriminate sex Promiscuous person picks and pursues partners Promiscuity is not about numbers Multiple widower may have multiple partners without being promiscuous Promiscuity is not "free love" Promiscuous sex is not necessarily cheap or without limits Promiscuity is not "just for fun" "Just" carries with it negative hedonistic implications 3 Elliston's Definition Promiscuity: "means sex with a series of other adults, not directly related through marriage, with no commitments" (148) Five elements: i. copulation: sexual intercourse is the end ii. repetition: there must be a pursuit of a new partner iii.adults: consenting adults are involved iv. not married: couple cannot be married v. not committed: sex is noncommittal 4

3 Arguments Against Promiscuity Elliston argues against five arguments against promiscuity I. Promiscuity and Reproduction II. Inseparability Premise III. Threat to Monogamy IV. Lying, Deceiving, and Exploiting V. Emotional Security and Growth 5 I. Promiscuity and Reproduction 1. Sex leads to reproduction 2. Children are best raised in a family 3. Thus, sex should be restricted to marriage Rebuttal: Given advances in birth control, sex need not result in reproduction It is not clear that the nuclear family is the only context for child rearing Even if the nuclear family were important, that does not entail a prohibition on promiscuity Promiscuity does not logically entail that one will not be committed to one's offspring, just a sexual partner 6

4 II. Inseparability Premise Two aspects of sex are inseparable Sex is to (i) foster the spiritual union of man and woman and (ii) reproduce the species Roman Catholic defense of this position leads to the prohibition of birth control Cohen's rebuttal (3 of 6): Inseparability premise is false and has no basis in scripture If there were no birth control, overpopulation and hunger would occur and increase suffering Church promotes physical health, why not sexual health? 7 III. Threat to Monogamy Promiscuity threatens the institution of monogamous marriages Two assumptions: (i) promiscuity adversely effects monogamy, and (ii) monogamy is superior to alternative relationships Rebuttal: Is it really true that promiscuity adversely effects monogamy? Perhaps promiscuity gives one a broader range of sex partners from which to select a spouse. Perhaps promiscuity rids one of the need to marry simply to have sex. Freeing sex from marriage may lead to new and different institutions that satisfy the needs of individuals and society 8

5 IV. Lying, Deceiving, and Exploiting If promiscuity involves lying, deceiving, and/or exploiting individuals, then promiscuity is wrong because it would violate moral rules Rebuttal: But, under this argument, it is not promiscuity that is wrong but the breaking of certain moral rules. Since promiscuity often leads to the breaking of these rules, it is wrong by association. But, promiscuity itself is not wrong. Double standard: defending promiscuity serves the interest of men and not women. Thus, there is an exploitive aspect to defending promiscuity--it allows men to satisfy themselves while promiscuous women receive social condemnation Rebuttal: What is wrong is the double standard and not promiscuity. Also, some women simply won't care or be effected by social reprobation and could be promiscuous without being exploited 9 V. Emotional Security and Growth Sex outside of marriage displays a lack of discipline in following some norm But, why judge the promiscuous person by a norm they reject? Does promiscuity entail inconsiderateness? Not necessarily Does promiscuity threaten things of value in a relationship? It depends on what is of value and what is the standard of valuation. If pleasure, freedom, and respect are the values, then there is no necessary threat If certain norms are the values, then yes. But, why judge the promiscuous person by norms they reject? 10

6 Standards for Conceptualizing Our Sex Lives Elliston considers three models for conceptualizing our sex lives and applies them to promiscuity A. Classic Liberal Defense B. Sex as Body Language C. Authentic Sexuality 11 A. Classic Liberal Defense Mill advocated unfettered liberty for individual actions to the extent that the individual did not harm another through those actions Promiscuity is consistent with Classic Liberalism if two conditions are met: Some traditional rules must be observed (lying, deceit, exploitation) Caution must be observed to prevent unwanted births In defense of promiscuity Sex is fun and pleasing and prohibitions on sexual satisfaction are bad Sexual liberty and promiscuity can lead to the growth of the human personality in the pursuit of one's "plan of life" 12

7 B. Sex as Body Language Sex has meaning beyond the physical "Just as words are more than marks and sounds, sex is more than thrusts and moans, caresses and sighs. Just as verbal language has a dimension of meaning beyond phonemes and morphemes, so body language has a significance beyond the intertwining of two bodies." (153) Sexual interaction develops a sexual body language and promiscuity provides the opportunity to learn this language Sexual interaction and the etiquette of sexual rituals confirms a person's subjectivity, autonomy, and individuality Promiscuity allows for the loosening of sex roles that allows for greater sexual expression from both genders 13 C. Authentic Sexuality "Authentic sexuality...requires a similar openness to others...promiscuity provides this openness through its freedom from emotional and sexual commitments." (155) Promiscuity prepares individuals to decide what and how to commit themselves to another by allowing a realm of noncomittment One learns the value of loving others even if one eventually commits oneself to only one 14

8 Modest Claim Elliston has defended the modest claim that "for some of the people some of the time promiscuity is a good thing. Moreover, promiscuity may lead to a more mature stage: 1. A good sex life is not achieved through sexual gratification alone 2. Promiscuous sex may achieve breadth of experience at the same time losing depth of experience 3. Promiscuity may set the stage for a full commitment to another While committed, life-long relationships may be intrinsically more valuable, promiscuous sex may still have some value 15