10 Essential Things Everyone Should Know about The Human Impact of Trauma 2017 Children s Mental Health Summit Changing the Conversation: Innovative Children s Solutions Amelia Franck Meyer, MS, MSW, LISW, APSW CEO, Alia May 12, 2017 www.aliainnovations.org Introductions Amelia Franck Meyer, MS, MSW, LISW, APSW CEO, Alia See bio for more information #1 Human beings must connect with other humans to thrive and survive, especially human young. 1
Humans are made to connect with each other. Our survival and our wellbeing depend on it! Welcome into the world tethered to another human Our babies are vulnerable, and they KNOW it 2
We are hard-wired to bond to our caregivers. We have a primal need to belong You are my protector! #1 Most Stressful Event The number one most stressful event for a child is the death of a parent. Number two is to be separated from a parent. -Norma Ginther 3
When Mom (caregiver) is okay, I m okay. Feeling Unlovable Feeling unlovable is trauma. As children, we are dependent on our caregivers for our basic needs and survival. When we are unlovable, our very survival is put at risk. -Dr. Brene Brown #2 When we do not belong, we are vulnerable 4
To thrive, and survive Children must have safe and secure and nurturing attachments to adults in order to thrive and survive. Without belonging, we are lost 5
#3 Helping kids safely belong is URGENT A Sense of Urgency What we have to talk about today is URGENT. Childhood is brief, and is a rare opportunity to shape a lifetime. In 6 months, the ties that bind us begin to fray 6
From the moment they are born, children are asking with their behavior Am I safe? Am I loveable? Can I trust you to meet my needs? The answers to these questions will impact EVERY relationship for the rest of their lives. #4 When we do not feel safe and loveable, it changes our brain When you are left to face threats and survive on your own without protection Survival Brain 7
I m in this on my own. Zero=calm Sixty= going off Cutest Swimsuit Accountability & empathy come after safety! 8
FEAR Fear of something happening is as real to the brain, as the event actually occurring. Maslow s Hierarchy of Needs #5 Connections build resilience and protection 9
Being connected to adults when we are young and to other humans throughout our life buffers the negative impacts of adverse experiences, toxic stress, and other negative things that happen as a matter of normal life. It s not your what s, it s your who s that matter. The Importance of Human Connections "The most traumatic aspects of all disasters involve the shattering of human connections." ~Dr. Bruce Perry 10
At least we re all okay! #6 Trauma disrupts our ability to connect Trauma disrupts our capacity to connect 11
A normal response Normal healthy brains Diminish their ability to connect after multiple, unresolved losses, especially to caregivers. Grief work first, then connections Grief work must be done for healing of connections and the restoration of the ability to connect. #7 Children do their pain, grief, loss and trauma 12
How do Children Grieve? Children do not talk grief, they do grief, loss, & trauma... But we keep sending them to talk about it as a primary or only intervention! Normal, Natural Responses Many behaviors we see in children/youth are NORMAL responses to what happened to them. According to Dr. Darla Henry We pathologize grief and normal responses to trauma 13
The loss is stigmatized AND The griever is stigmatized, diagnosed and labeled. YOU ARE TO BLAME Why can t they learn? Listen? Hold still? A new question: Moving from: What s wrong with you? To: What happened to you? AND how do I do things DIFFERENTLY because of what s happened to you? 14
A Matter of Framing They are not manipulative, or disrespectful, defiant, rude, etc. The are surviving. It is NOT Willful misbehavior. #8 Childhood trauma is pervasive and has life-long impacts 15
What is Trauma? Trauma is something that happens to you that makes you feel like you are at risk of dying or being killed. Prenatal Preverbal Known Unknown Remembered Unremembered Intergenerational Historical/Cultural Trauma can be Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES) Study 16
Trauma changes the brain Our kids are different. They are not typical kids; and therefore do not respond in typical ways. Stress Response They can sense someone trying to control them and will fight back as though they are fighting for their lives, BECAUSE THEY ARE! Normal stress response disappears after stressor is removed, but our kids remain activated. Trauma lives on for generations. Historical and Intergenerational impacts of trauma can be felt and seen and heard for generations upon generations. It is not only what happens to us, but what happened to our ancestors that impacts us today. 17
The impact of trauma across time The cumulative emotional and psychological wounding across multiple generations, including trauma experienced in one s own lifespan, which emanates from massively traumatized group history. -Maria Yellow Horse Brave Heart Trauma is contagious We pass trauma on to new generations through our environment and through our DNA. Trauma is (unconsciously) carried We carry the trauma of previous generations on their behalf. Pain that is not our pain; rage that is someone else s; shame or sadness of another Pia Mellody: Facing Co-dependence. 18
#9 The goal of all treatment is safety (& connection) The Goal The goal of trauma treatment and of working with those who have experienced trauma is to make them feel safe. Psychological Safety Part of protecting youth is to keep them safe from psychological trauma. Psychological safety is achieved by parenting in a trauma-informed way, and not threatening to reenact their trauma by disrupting connections if they don t behave. 19
Responding today with yesterday s fear Past trauma Current trigger Feels like current threat Results in Trauma response Linking the Past to the Present Trauma brings past experiences into today s responses and experiences. This pattern of response can be healed and relearned. You are safe now Response was functional then It is no longer needed to keep you safe Identify triggers in the body Release trauma stored in the body Relearn new responses 20
Where Healing Happens Interpersonal or relational trauma, must be healed in relationships. Re-traumatization And additional trauma comes in the form of disrupted relationships. We all know Isolation is FATAL 21
#10 There is hope for healing We must create physical and psychological safety and build resilience through fostering the development of protective factors. 22
Youth experience trauma, which results in losses, which must be grieved, in order for healing to happen. All Interventions used with youth must serve to CONNECT. Regulating interventions must be used for healing before cognitive interventions can be effective. 23
10 Essential Things Everyone Should Know about Childhood Trauma 1. Human beings must connect with other humans to thrive and survive, especially human young 2. When we do not belong, we are vulnerable 3. Helping kids safely belong is URGENT 4. When we do not feel safe and loveable, it changes our brain 5. Connections build resilience and protection 6. Trauma disrupts our ability to connect 7. Children do their pain, grief, loss and trauma 8. Childhood trauma is pervasive and has life-long impacts 9. The goal of all treatment is safety (& connection) 10. There is hope for healing Amelia Franck Meyer, MS, MSW, LISW, APSW CEO, Alia amelia@aliainnovations.org @alfranckmeyer Amelia s TEDx Talk The Human Need for Belonging available on YouTube Wrap Up and Questions 24