Cage Your Rage With Self-Compassion Heather L. Leach, LCSW, JD October 17, 2018 Objectives 2 Self-Compassion Defined Identify and explain the three elements of selfcompassion and how self-compassion differs from self-esteem. List and understand at least three benefits of improved self-compassion. Gain familiarity with at least three different experiential exercises aimed at increasing selfcompassion. Self- Kindness Mindfulness Common Humanity https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rumf5r7dooa 3 1
Many Benefits of Self-Esteem Decreased anxiety Decreased depression Decreased body dissatisfaction Increased resilience Increased happiness Increased engagement in wellness behaviors 4 Many Benefits of Self-Esteem Increased accountability for personal mistakes Increased motivation to make changes Increased satisfaction with life https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rumf5r7dooa 5 Is self-compassion the same as self-esteem? Self-Compassion Self-Esteem Stable Internal We are all flawed Inner ally Associated with wellness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v= rumf5r7dooa Unstable External Based on social comparison Fair-weather friend Associated with narcissism 6 2
How self-compassionate are you? Complete this online test: https://centerformsc.org/learn-msc/take-the-selfcompassion-test/. Your score is calculated automatically. Use this tool as pre- and post-test measure. 7 Self-Compassion and Anger Russell Kolts, author of The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Managing Your Anger : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qg4z185mbje 8 Goals of Compassionate-Focused Therapy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugthfqb-i_g 9 3
Three s Regulate Emotion Threat and self-protection system Drive and resource acquisition system Soothing and safeness system http://www.compassionatemind.net/introduction_to_audio_ Exercises.php?_sm_au_=iVVMm6WHF3TqVSDP Source: Kolts, 2014 10 How Anger Organizes the Mind Anger: Irritation all the way to RAGE Source: Kolts, 2014, p. 11 Thinking and Reasoning 11 First tool: Soothing-rhythm breathing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbc23-akm0w 12 4
Second tool: Self-compassion break https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rumf5r7dooa 13 Third tool: Compassionate letter writing 14 Fourth tool: Your ideal compassionate image https://soundcloud.com/compassionatemind/our-idealcompassionateother?_sm_au_=ivvmm6whf3tqvsdp 15 5
Fifth tool: Compassionate movement https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulwm68blh_4 16 Kindfulness Mindfulness plus kindness: combining awareness of the current moment with kindness Source: Tatsiana O Neil 17 Experiential Exercises Handouts Soothing rhythm breathing Self-compassion break Compassionate movement Your ideal compassionate image Compassionate thinking Compassionate letter writing 18 6
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness That most frightens us. 19 We ask ourselves Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. 20 Your playing small Does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking So that other people won't feel insecure around you. 21 7
We are all meant to shine, As children do. We were born to make manifest The glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; It's in everyone. 22 And as we let our own light shine, We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, Our presence automatically liberates others. 23 Resources and References Brach, T. (2003). Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With The Heart of a Buddha. Bantam Dell. Desmond, T. (2016). Self-Compassion in Psychotherapy. W.W. Norton & Company., Inc. Desmond, T. (2017). The Self-Compassion Skills Workbook. W.W. Norton & Company., Inc. Germer, C., & Neff, K. (2014) Mindful Self-Compassion: Core Skills Handouts. Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC). Kolts, R. (2012) The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Managing Your Anger. New Harbinger Publications, Inc. 24 8