Empathy and Self-Compassion: The Antidote to Shame

Empathy and Self-Compassion: The Antidote to Shame T H E R E S E H E N S L E R, L C S W P E A C E F U L M I N D C O U N S E L I N G S E R V I C E S

Objectives Define Shame and how it affects youth and families Identify vulnerability and its role in connection Discuss empathy and self-compassion Call for action Wholehearted Living

Power of Noticing Leads to Connection Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again. Og Mandino

Shame The intensely painful feeling that we are Unworthy of love and belonging Brene Brown

Shame vs. Guilt Shame is the emotional state we experience when we feel badly about who we are. Guilt is the emotional state we experience when we feel badly about what we ve done. George K. Simon 2014 Peaceful Mind Counseling Services. All rights reserved.

Dangers of Shame S H A M E Addiction Violence Aggression Depression Eating Disorders Bullying

Physiology of Shame Chest and Throat tighten Eyes freeze and tear up Want to throw something or push away Want to be invisible Feel Hot

Preventing Shame Based Communication Prevention begins with educating youth, families, and communities about Shame based communication. Bad choice versus Bad person

Wholehearted Living "Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging. Brene Brown

Vulnerability and Connection

Messages Holding Youth Back Appearance and Body Image Being Stereotyped or Labeled Race Sexual Orientation Gender Identity Socioeconomic Status Social Status

Seats in the Arena Shame, Scarcity and Comparison Empathy and Self-Compassion

Empathy Showing non-judgment Taking on the perspective of the story teller Connecting with emotion Communicate emotion Mindfulness

Self-Compassion Self-Kindness Common Humanity Mindfulness Resources: www.self-compassion.org

Tools to Help Today Educate about shame Cultivate a perspective of worthiness and connection Change our conversations to self-compassion and empathy

Dig Deeper

Daring Way 3-Day Intensive for Therapists and Professionals When: October 2nd 6pm-9pm October 3rd 8:30am-4:30pm October 4th 12:30pm-4:30pm More Information: Peacetherese.com

Daring Teens 8-Week Workshop Who: Ages 14-18 Limited to 10 Participants When: More Information: September 2 nd, 9 th, 16 th, 23 rd,, 30 th October 7 th, 21 st, 28 th 6pm-7:30pm Peacetherese.com

Thank you! Therese Hensler, MSW, LCSW therese.hensler@gmail.com 480-424-4777 www.peacetherese.com