Janet Dukerich University of Texas at Austin janet.dukerich@mccombs.utexas.edu
Why are we here? Self Analysis of styles, hot buttons, conflict experiences Conflict Resolution (5 Strategies) Thomas-Kilmann inventory Ladder of Inference Stages of Conflict Resolving Conflict Exercise Methods and tips for Resolving Conflict Mediation 2
Aim is to improve team management through increased understanding of ourselves, including our preferred conflict resolution style. Conflict is... any situation in which your concerns or desires differ from those of another person Once we understand our own styles, we can look at our team styles and improve the team dynamic as well. We will learn to assess conflict situations Practice using different conflict modes And.it s OK if we have fun during the session and laugh a little at ourselves while we do that!! 3
Write a brief summary of two recent conflict situations: 1. In which you were satisfied with the outcome. 2. In which you were less than satisfied. 4
Task Oriented Conflict Focuses on ideas, not personalities Can occur during times of creativity and productivity Affect is neutral, or positive Unrelated, or positively related, to group functioning Personal (Affective) Conflict Focuses on people, not ideas Can occur at any time Affect is negative Negatively related to group functioning Can escalate rapidly 5
PRECIPITATING EVENT AND/OR HOT BUTTONS INITIATE CONFLICT CONSTRUCTIVE RESPONSES Behaviors which keep conflict to a minimum DESTRUCTIVE RESPONSES Behaviors which escalate or prolong conflict TASK-FOCUSED CONFLICT (Cognitive) Focus on task and problem solving Positive affect Tension decreases Group functioning improves PERSON-FOCUSED CONFLICT (Affective) Focus on personalities Negative emotions (anger, frustration) Tension increases Group functioning decreases CONFLICT DE-ESCALATES CONFLICT ESCALATES 6
People or situations which may irritate you enough to provoke conflict by producing destructive responses The hotter the hot button, the more likely it is to produce: Strong negative emotions Feelings of personal provocation Automatic and impulsive responding Increased tension WHAT ARE YOUR HOT BUTTONS? Write them down and note whether they are triggered by specific people, situations, or behaviors. 7
From Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument by K. W. Thomas and R. H. Kilmann, 1974, 2000. Palo Alto, CA: Xicom, Incorporated, subsidiary of CPP, Inc. Copyright 1974, 2000 by CPP, Inc. Used with permission. 8
My way or the highway Taking quick action Making unpopular decisions Standing up for vital issues Protecting yourself Competing Skills Arguing or debating Using rank, position, or influence Asserting your opinions and feelings Standing your ground Stating your position clearly 9
Overuse of Competing Lack of feedback Reduced learning Low empowerment Surrounded by yes people Underuse of Competing Restricted influence Indecision Delayed action Withholding of contributions 10
It would be my pleasure Showing reasonableness Developing performance Creating goodwill Keeping peace Retreating Maintaining perspective Accommodating Skills Forgoing your desires Selflessness Obedience Ability to yield 11
Overuse of Accommodating Overlooked ideas Restricted influence Loss of contribution Anarchy Underuse of Accommodating Lack of rapport and low morale By-the-book reputation Inability to yield 12
I ll think about it tomorrow Leaving unimportant issues alone Reducing tensions Buying time Knowing your limitations Allowing others ownership Recognizing issues as symptoms Avoiding Skills Withdrawing Sidestepping Sense of timing Ability to leave things unresolved 13
Overuse of Avoiding Lack of input from you Decisions made by default Festering issues Climate of caution Underuse of Avoiding Hostility/hurt feelings Work overload too many causes Lack of prioritization/delegation 14
Two heads are better than one Integrating solutions Learning Merging perspectives Gaining commitment Improving relationships Collaborating Skills Ability to listen, understand, and empathize Nonthreatening confrontation Input analysis Identifying underlying concerns 15
Overuse of Collaborating Too much time on trivial matters Diffused responsibility People who take advantage Work overload Underuse of Collaborating Mutual gains deprivation Lack of commitment Low empowerment Loss of innovation Biswas Tarango Coutant1611111
Let s make a deal Resolving issues of moderate importance Reaching resolution with equal power and strong commitment Creating temporary solutions Dealing with time constraints Backing up competing/ collaborating Compromising Skills Negotiating Finding a middle ground Making concessions Assessing value 17
Overuse of Compromising Loss of big-picture perspective Lack of trust Cynical climate Underuse of Compromising Unnecessary confrontations Frequent power struggles Inability to negotiate effectively 18
Avoiding Goal is to delay. Low assertiveness and low cooperativeness. An attempt to avoid conflict rather than openly dealing with it. A cover-up tactic. Results in no solution. Accommodation Goal is to yield. Low assertiveness and high cooperativeness. Competing Goal is to win. High assertiveness and low cooperativeness. Use of position, authority, or peer pressure to settle conflict. Results in win-lose decision. Compromise Goal is to find middle ground. Moderate assertiveness and moderate cooperativeness. Results in a lose-lose decision if neither side will be committed to a diluted solution. Best used when trying to avoid a win-lose decision. Collaboration Goal is to find a win-win solution. High assertiveness and high cooperativeness. Emphasis is on solving the problem rather than on defining a position. Ultimately, the best of each individual s thinking emerges, the assumption being that the combined efforts exceed the sum of the individual person s contribution. Results in a win-win approach. 19
After reviewing the information we just covered, guess as to which conflict resolution style you use the most. Which is the least used style? Any others you use often? Make a note to yourself, so you can compare with the actual report. 20
I take actions based on my beliefs. I adopt beliefs about the world. I draw conclusions. I make assumptions based on the meanings I added I add meanings (cultural and personal). I select data from what I observe Observable data and experiences (as a videotape recorder might capture it) We can t count on John, he is unreliable. John always comes late. John knew exactly when the meeting was to start. He deliberately came late. The meeting was called for 9AM and John came in at 9:30. He didn t say why. Adapted from The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook, Peter Senge, Richard Ross, Bryan Smith, Art Kleiner, and Charlotte Roberts, Currency Doubleday, New York, 1994. 21
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Dealing With Emotions When the climate gets emotional, try to focus on relevant facts rather than feelings. Don t be intimidated by anger expressed by others. Don t be uncomfortable with the expression of sorrow by others. Remain rational. Act with quiet dignity. Be patient and confident. The Rules of Dominance 1. Those in control of situations, things, ideas, or themselves are relaxed, project outward, and encompass the interaction. 2. Those not in control are tense, take peripheral positions, project inwardly, and are engulfed by interaction. Selling Your Viewpoint 1. Talk less. Listen more. 2. Don t interrupt. 3. Don t be belligerent or argumentative. 4. Don t be in a hurry to bring up your points. Hear out the other person completely. 5. Restate the other person s position as soon as you understand it. 6. Identify your key points one at a time and then stick to them. 7. Be for your point of view, not against the other person. People are to be taken in small doses. -Mark Twain 23
Conflicts cause all kinds of problems, sapping mental energy as they get in the way of relationships and getting the job done. Here are five tips to manage the problem. 1. Listen Hear the other person s feeling as well as arguments. Don t interrupt. 2. Accept the right of the other person to a satisfactory solution to the problem. Recognize that this person has legitimate rights that must be respected. 3. State your opinions and feelings frankly but calmly. Know and respect the important difference between being assertive and aggressive. 4. Don t start the conversation with your mind made up. If you do, no new ideas will be heard and a constructive solution is almost impossible. 5. Don t try to win. Winning arguments inflated the ego but doesn t solve problems. Being smarter than someone else is not important; being smart enough to solve a serious problem is very important and very smart. 24
Same principles apply, whether for yourself, or when helping others As a team manager, you ll be asked to intervene Lessons for 3 rd party interventions STEP 1: Select a SETTING Neutral Sites preferred both sides can feel comfortable Position yourself in the middle, head of the table Place to break-out, Caucus 26
STEP 2: The Opening Statement Introduction who we all are, nature of mediation Explain YOUR role I m going to try to help Explain THEIR role Work together, then we ll decide Shape their EXPECTATIONS talk together, sometimes separately, sometimes as a group; if all goes well, we ll formalize in writing Give the GROUND RULES all will get a chance to talk, no interruptions; everything is confidential; agreements are binding! QUESTIONS? 27
STEP 3: Managing the Joint Session What are the ISSUES? What were the POSITIONS at the time of impasse? What is your RELATIONSHIP?... Past & future? STYLES diverge from here May start to explore immediately May separate the two sides permanently ( shuttle diplomacy) or temporarily May offer solutions, or not (costs & benefits) May just sit and wait! What ideas or proposals do YOU have? 28
During the session, maintain a good climate by watching for red flags RED FLAG MESSAGES: Evaluation Control Strategic Displays Apathy Certainty/Dogmatism SHIFT TOWARD Description Problem Focus Spontaneous Messages Empathy Flexibility Shift from Defensiveness to Problem Solving! 29
How Active should you be?! Involve THEM MORE when The problem is COMPLEX There is RELATIONAL concern You have less need for OUTCOME control You feel comfortable with intervention SKILLS (Kolb & Glidden) TRAP: Do not immediately default to arbitration! 30
Highlight Similarities Shared Goals or Interests Interpersonal similarities Relational Concerns Reduce tension early in the process (early can mean BEFORE the official process even begins!) Use of humor, friendly remarks Active listening skills Take breaks when fatigued or angry Divide and Conquer?! 31