Chapter 9-Sexuality-Psy222

Chapter 9-Sexuality-Psy222 Chapter 9-Sexuality There are few components of relationships that have seen as much evolution and change as that of sexuality Our attitudes about sex have become increasingly relaxed and casual Premarital sex is much more accepted than was the case 25 years ago We do give more sanction or approval for premarital sex in a committed or serious relationship than is the case for a more casual relationship The standard seems to be permissiveness with affection, that is if there is an emotional commitment then most people find premarital sex acceptable Generally men are more permissive in their attitudes and behavior about casual sex Women prefer that sexual activity be accompanied by a psychologically intimate relationship The sexual double standard has judged women more harshly for their sexual behavior than has been the case for men Research has demonstrated that men have tended to prefer potential spouses to be less sexually permissive while wishing for dating partners to be more permissive Women want both dating partners and marriage partners to be less sexually permissive. There is still widespread resistance towards homosexual sex although attitudes have become more accepting over time Negative attitudes towards gay relationships still continue to be prevalent

2 Slowly we are seeing the continued evolution of more visibility in the media and more political sanction for homosexual relationships Some of the continued resistance to the acceptance of gay relationships and lifestyle continues to be invested in persons of traditional religious orientation and conservative political backgrounds Cross-cultural research has suggested that our American culture is a relatively conservative one compared to many other countries. In America, the average age of first intercourse is 16 for males and 17 for females with blacks experiencing sex earlier than whites or Latinos. During the 1990s, the trend toward earlier first intercourse was reversed and young adults started to wait longer to engage in intercourse Those surveyed have cited fears of STDs (sexually transmitted disease) and pregnancy as well as moral beliefs. Women tend to feel that they need a certain level of emotional commitment to feel comfortable initiating intercourse while men cite feelings of insecurity or inadequacy for hesitating to engage in sex

Love, pleasure, conformity and social recognition were all motives cited by college students for having sex 3 In general, a person s values and attitudes are the best predictor of when they are likely to begin to engage in sexual behavior Those individuals who value partners and dating as important in their lives The likelihood of becoming a parent outside of marriage increased for persons of lower SES status, had more difficulties in school and were more popular among peers Another precursor of premarital sexual activity is a desire to achieve adult status Lack of self restraint is also related to early sexual activity Family structure seems to make a difference in connection with initiation of sexual activity Those girls who grew up with a father were likely to engage in sex later than those girls who grew up without a father. Boys who engage in premarital sex tended to experience a change from an intact family to one in which they grow up without a father present Those young people who came from highly religious families were less likely to engage in early sexual activity Couples who are living together but not married tend to have sex about three times per week whereas those

who are married have sex on the average of two times per week. People who are older tend to have sex less often than those who are younger Some of this drop in frequency may have to do with physical changes associated with menopause and poorer circulation as well as general decline in health and physical vigor as people age As partners spend more time together their sexual frequency tends to drop over time Studies have revealed that in new relationships gay men tend to have sex more often than either lesbians or heterosexual couples As time passes, gay men tend to have less frequent sex than heterosexual couples Lesbians have sex less frequently than any other group In a large scale survey of sexual behavior, 25 percent of married men and 15 percent of married women admit to engaging in extramarital sex outside of their primary relationship Men are more likely to engage in extramarital relationships and to have a greater number of partners Gay males are more likely than other groups to have sex outside of their primary relationship Beliefs & attitudes about sex outside of a primary relationship are known as one s sociosexual orientation One s orientation may be described as restricted or conservative vs. unrestricted or liberal Those with unrestricted attitudes are more likely to engage in extra marital relationships 4

Happiness and satisfaction with one s primary relationship predict the tendency to engage in sex outside of this relationship. Those who are happy, generally don t, those who are more unhappy may stray Equity theory and research about extramarital sex suggest that those partners who feel underbenefitted are more likely to engage in extramarital affairs In summary, those who feel that they are not getting the satisfaction they are entitled to are more likely to have affairs The fear of sexually transmitted diseases has been a variable in modification of sexual patterns of behavior since the 60s. There is still a major public health problem in the gay community with too many males engaging in risky sexual behavior without protection In the heterosexual community as well, the specter of AIDS has caused some modification of sexual patterns although there is till way too much risky sex Study of hookups or one night stands suggests that 47 percent of men and 33 percent of women admitted to sexual intercourse during a casual hookup Rates of casual sex and unprotected sex are still meaningfully high One of the issues in connection with unprotected sex is a negative attitude towards condoms Heterosexual college students seem to be convinced that condoms are effective in preventing pregnancy and disease 5

It was demonstrated that students who felt that using condoms was somehow embarrassing or destructive of the mood would not use condoms When alcohol fuels sex, people are less likely to use condoms as alcohol tends to dissolve both inhibition and reason (alcoholic myopia) or booze goggles Denial and feelings of invulnerability also cause people to eschew the use of condoms Negative attitudes towards sex such as guilt & anxiety seem to be associated with failure to use condoms In general, married couples tend to report satisfaction with the sexual side of their relationship as do heterosexual dating couples and gay and lesbian as well as heterosexual cohabiting couples Research has demonstrated that sexual satisfaction is related to sexual frequency Generally people are happier with their sex lives when they are having sex more often Couples who are happy with their sex lives tend to be happy with their relationships in general It seems to be the case that if people engage in sexual activity consistent with their level of desire then they are generally happy Research has also demonstrated that the rate of sexual interaction minus the frequency of arguing is predictive but some studies have also highlighted a positive correlation between arguing and sexual satisfaction probably related to engagement Research also suggests that the issue of partnership is a part of good sex as well as good companionship in other arenas as well, social/recreational 6

Both exchange and equity theories are relevant to predicting sexual satisfaction Couples who feel they have an equitable relationship also feel they have a more satisfying, stable and mutually responsive relationship College students who felt that their relationships were equitable experienced greater levels of satisfaction sexually Good sex seems to depend on a.) each person has their needs met by a partner who respects the other s sexual desires b) having the proper balance of positive and negative interactions in the relationship so that there are more positives than negatives c) enjoy being with each other in bed and outside of bed Sexual communication includes a variety of ways for communicating sexual interest and desire Much communication of sexual interest seems to be oblique probably due to some fear of rejection and vulnerability Men tend to initiate more than women both in straight and gay relationships Communicating consent is often managed by going along with a partner s initiative rather than saying yes outright Women are more likely to use indirect verbal approaches to communicating about sex while men are more likely to use indirect nonverbal strategies In our society it is somewhat difficult for couples to communicate directly about their sexual preferences and wishes 7

It is easier for most couples to talk about what they like than it is to talk about dislikes Sexual dialogue is helped by reciprocity, when a partner is able to join us in sexual dialogue, it is easier. Communication about sex improves sexual satisfaction Masters & Johnson in their studies on sexual intimacy and satisfaction highlighted good communication as a vital ingredient in sexual satisfaction Perceptual differences between men and women involve men seeing the world as a sexier place than do women Men tend to perceive more sexuality in another s actions than do women Recent research has suggested that one half to three fourths of college women report some type of sexual aggression in relationships which include a.) rape b.)attempted rape c.) sexual assault d.) unwanted sexual contact e.) sexual coercion Men are more likely to perpetrate sexual coercion Women tend to be the victims of coercion Date rape is becoming an increasing problem on college campuses Some reports of sexual coercion may be based on misunderstanding It is likely that improved sexual communication can decrease the incidence of sexual coercion 8