Happiness Gratitude, Gumption, & Grace Carole Pertofsky perto@stanford.edu
Understanding Happiness Happiness is an unselfish pursuit that serves everyone and the greater good.
What makes you happy?
Bliss?
The Pleasurable Life hedonic
The Engaged Life eudonic
Big Flow! Eudonic
THE MEANINGFUL LIFE
Grit, Gumption and Grace: Meeting Life: Joys and Challenges
Begin. A calm, quiet mind
GRATITUDE Gratitude has the power to heal, to energize, and to change lives Dr. Robert Emmons, UCDavis.
Research Indicators Psychological: 25% in well being measures (positive emotions: alert, energetic, enthused, attentive) Interpersonal: 38% warm connections, more helpful less lonely and isolated. Medical/Physical: 15 more exercise, better sleep, fewer symptoms; CV recovery advantages. 1. R.A. Emmons & M.E. McCullough, 2. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2003, Jeff C Huffman. Positive states in acute coronary syndrome patients; Journal of Health Psychology 08/2014.
In what ways are you grateful? In what ways do you want experience more gratefulness? Express gratefulness?
. GUMPTION: courage
My Grandmothers
Mindset: How We Respond to Challenge Mindset {noun}; A set of beliefs or a way of thinking that determines one s behavior, outlook and mental attitude.
AGING is a bummer Driven by resisting aging and negativity bias Self-limiting concerns about deprivation, safety, comfort. Reactive. Looking at aging with criticism and fault-finding.
AGING is a GIFT Curiosity; new learning/ freedoms/ opportunities. Fernández-Ballesteros, Rocío Motivated by meaning and purpose, giving back, mentoring. Pump up the great memories. (Langer) Seek vision; positive values; resilience.
Why we need resilience
I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. ~ Hillel Goldberg
When were you resilient? Consider a time when you were struggling with a difficult life event, such as loss, or grief. How did you use a aging is gift that restored your sense of well-being? What did you learn about yourself?
GRACE: The Contentment of Close Warm Connections Affiliative Focused on caring and being cared for Safeness-kindness Compassion
Research Indicators Harvard Health Watch Study; 2010 Louise C. Hawkley and John T. Cacioppo STRONG RELATIONSHIPS Give us pleasure and psychological health. They influence long-term health as powerfully as adequate sleep, a good diet, exercise and not smoking. LONELINESS Increases risk of premature death from all causes by 50%, this mortality risk is roughly comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and greater than obesity and physical inactivity
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
We are Wabi-Sabi "When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered and is vulnerable, it has a history. Therefore it becomes more beautiful."
How to flourish in this wild and precious life. QUIET MIND: CLEAR THINKING. Self directed brain calming. Relax the nervous system in hyper-stimulating times. GRATITUDE: BENEFIT-FINDING. Savoring the gifts in your life. Cultivating a positive lens. GUMPTION: COURAGE AND RESILIENCE; a growth mindset to cope with suffering, loss, grief, disappointments GRACE : Warm Connections, Compassion and kindness for self and others
Happiness and the Arc of Life Look backwards. Relish memories With gratefulness Look outward. Be kind, forgiving and resilience for loss and suffering Look forward. Give back with love and compassion, strength and courage. Embrace moments of Joy
Metta: Loving Kindness
Well-Being Resources http://greatergood.berkeley.edu: A treasure trove of information. Reports on groundbreaking research related to compassion, happiness, and resilience. Offers seminars; trainings and free on-line courses. http://ccare.stanford.edu: Stanford Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education. Offers seminar series; trainings in compassion. http://www.awakeningjoy.org: Live and online courses. This program sustains joy and interest, live and on-line. Changed lives of many! www.wisebrain.org: Free subscriptions to stellar resource. Weekly Just One Thing tips. Research reports re: positive states, meditation, compassion noteworthy articles. Offers on-line course. http://lindagraham-mft.net/: Resources for Recovering Resilience: inspiring reaearch-based articles, quotes, events, courses.
Stanford Continuing Studies Saturday, August 19, 2017 Instructor: Carole Pertofsky, M.Ed. To enroll: WSP 20 WSP 20 www.continuingstudies.stanford.edu
Carole Pertofsky, M.Ed. perto@stanford.edu