EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: WHEN THE HEAD AND HEART PARTNER
Maria_Cheney@cable.Comcast.com
Cathy Alford, MA, PCC LifeWorks Coaching Columbus Coaching Collaborative
Your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others Affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions that achieve positive results While strong intellect [IQ] and experience get individuals into professional positions EQ spells the difference between those who excel and those who under achieve! Source: Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Bradberry & Greaves
Personality IQ EQ The only quality we can change!
Personal Competence (You) Social Competence (You with others) Self- Awareness Social Awareness/ Empathy Self- Management Relationship Management/ Responding w/ Integrity
Emotional Traits & Competencies Emotional Self-Awareness Self-Control Aware of Strengths & Limits Resilience / Hardiness Comfort with Emotions Coping Skills Recognition of Emotions Self-Motivation Positive Mindset Striving Problem Solving Skills Adaptable Social Skills Emotional Reflection Assertiveness Emotional Integration Self-Esteem Conflict Resolution Knowledge Contentment Conflict Resolution Behavior Independence Empathy Flexibility Social Insight Values Integrity
} It accounts for 58% of performance in all types of jobs } The link between EQ & earnings is so direct that every point increase in EQ adds $1,300 to an annual salary } EQ accounts for up to 30% of career success } Young people with high EQ earn higher grades, stay in school, and make healthier choices } Adults with high EQ have better career advancement, are more effective leaders and salespeople, and have better personal & professional relationships Source: Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Bradberry & Greaves
Perseverance Critical Selfreflection Commitment to Improvement Intentionality Transformational Learning Behavioral Practice
Page 40 EQ and Brain Function Emotions are handled by the mid-lower section of the brain (referred to as the Limbic System)! Linear impulses that operate at a semiconscious level, triggered 2 to 4 times more rapid than rational, logical thought.! Primary functions involve physical sensations, the rapid appraisal of danger and the coding and storage of emotional memory.
Amygdala Hijack Trigger: Event Instinct takes control Amygdala reacts Negative emotions override frontal lobe (logic) Result: Negative behavior
Page 41 Emotional Hijack! Going postal! Knee jerk! Going Off Road Rage! Pouting! Shutting down
Amygdala Hippocampus
Reality
} Reflection Analysis of one s beliefs } Critical Reflection Analysis of the assumptions on which our beliefs are built } Critical Self-Reflection Analysis of the way we pose problems to ourselves and form assumptions to use as a reference for interpreting our experiences
Something Happens Event Adding our Version Thinking of Reality Emotions Follow our Thinking Feeling, Judgmental / Defensive Action Feelings = Results Suffer Results Cy Wakeman, Reality Based Leadership
RESPONDING WITH FEELINGS
RESPONDING WITH THINKING
} AM I RESPONDING TO THE FACTS OR MY STORY? AM I TO THE FACTS OR MY STORY?
THREE COMMON STORIES
WHAT IF? What If? I Count to 10 and breathe? I asked them to say it a different way? I calmly expressed what I am feeling? I challenge my assumption? I make sure I have all of the facts? I choose to believe the best about the other person?
Emotional Intelligence is being able to manage distressing moods well and control impulses. It s remaining hopeful when you have setbacks. It s empathy and it s social skills.! Daniel Goldman!
} Answer honestly } Step outside of your reasoning and look at yourself as others see you
What will I START doing as a result of what I learned today? What will I STOP doing as a result of what I learned today? What will I DO MORE OF that is working well?
Thank you Cathy Alford, MA, PCC LifeWorks Coaching Cathy@colscoaches.com 706-888-3000 www.colscoaches.com
Maria_Cheney@cable.Comcast.com