UNIT-10 INTERPERSONAL BEHAVIOUR

UNIT-10 INTERPERSONAL BEHAVIOUR Objectives Introduction Anlysis of Self Awreness Ego Sttes Life Positions Wys to Del with Conflicts Let Us Sum Up Answers to Check Your Progress Exercises ' 10.0 OBJECTIVES After reding this Unit, you will be ble to: understnd the mening nd significnce of interpersonl behviour, know bout the ego sttes nd life positions, sensitize yourself with the wys to del with conflicts, nd mke n ssessment of your own interpersonl styles nd of others working with you. 10.1 INTRODUCTION Individul behviour is complicted nd complex concept. It is ffected by psychologicl fctors such s perception, lerning, personlity nd motivtion. It cn further be pprehended in terms of interpersonl reltionship, or in terms of group comprising more thn two persons. Individul behmiour unquestionbly ffects nd in turn is ffected by the behviour of others. One of the dilemms in orgnistionl behviour is to nlyse nd improve interpersonl nd group behviour in orgnistions. Trnsctionl nlysis nd group dynmics re the two bsic pproches to study interpersonl nd group behviour in n orgnistionl system. The former dels with understnding, predicting nd controlling interpersonl reltionships nd the ltter studies group behviour. When people interct in orgnistions, there is socil trnsction in which one person responds to nother. If two or more people encounter ech other in socil ggregtion, sooner or lter one of them will spek or give some other indiction of cknowledging the presence of the others. This is clled the trnsctionl stimulus. Another person will then sy or do something. which is in some wy relted to this stimulus, nd tht is clled the trnsctionl response. From the stndpoint of TA (Trnsctionl Anlysis) pproch, trnsction is stimulus plus response. For exmple, if you sy to one of your collegues, "you hve relly done fine job on tht project", tht is stimulus, if he sys, "thnks", tht is response. Thus, trnsctions tke plce between people. They cn lso tke plce between the "people" in our heds. If we hve sudden impulse to sy something to someone, we my mentlly her voice telling us not to sy it nd then second voice greeing. These people in our heds re clled ego sttes. Thus, trnsctionl nlysis is technique of nlysing nd understnding interpersonl behviour. This Unit will explin to you interpersonl styles nd different ego sttes, like positions nd wys to improve the opertionl effectiveness of your styles..- 10.2 ANALYSIS OF SELF AWARENESS The interpersonl reltionships re composed of inier-self. Self is the hub of personlity ptterns which provides integrtion. The interpersonl reltionship cn be studied properly if one cn perceive (self perception) one's own behviourl style nd t the sme time how it is perceived by others. The Johri Window cn be used to identify the self-perception nd the other's perception bout one's own personlity. A model of Johri Window ws pioneered by Joseph Luft nd Hrrington Inghm to look t one's personlity including behviours %

Orgnistionl Behviour nd ttitudes tht cn be known nd unknown to self nd known nd unknown to others. FIG. I Johri Window Thus, four different qudrnts cn be creted tht comprise the totl window s indicted in Figure I. Ech qudrnt is defined s follows: 1) The Open Self The qudrnt tht is known to the self nd lso known to others- in ny specific orgnistionl setting is clled the open self. It is known to self nd others within tht orgnistionl setting. Such type of interpersonl reltionship would tend to led to little,if ny, interpersonl conflict. 2) The Blind Self The qudrnt tht is unknown to the self but is known to others is referred to s the blind self. Often such blind behviour is copied by n individul from significnt people unconsciously, right since the childhood. It is not known to the self becuse of the unwillingness of others to be open nd to give relevnt feedbck to the individul. Besides, n individul does not endevour to perceive the verbl nd non-verbl responses tht exist in the.system. Jongewrd nd Seyer note tht,"subtle brs to our personl effectiveness re often our blind qudrnt. We my spek in certin wy - with tone of voice, look on our fce - gesture - tht we re blind to, but other people re ctully wre of. Infct, our mnner cn ffect how they perceive us nd whether they believe they cn interct with us". 3) The Hidden Self The qudrnt tht is known to the self but not known to others is nmed s the hidden self. This is privte window becuse it is only known to the person concerned. Further, it my be privte since the person hs been unwilling to communicte with other people in n orgnistionl system. Agin, it my be hidden becuse thc others re unble to perceive the - verbl nd non-verbl behviour of the person in the system. - - - - 4) The UnknowrSetr - The qudrnt tht is unknown to the self nd unknown to others is clled the unknown self. The unknown self is mysterious. Mny times motivtions nd feelings go very deep nd no one, including the person concerned, knows bout them. In Freudin psychology, this would be clled the subconscious or uncounscious. Freud ws the first to recognise the importnce of subconscious motivtion. He believed tht people re not lwys wre of everything they wnt nd hence much of their behviour is ffected by subc~nsclou~ motives or needsz Infct, Freud's reserch convinced him tht n nlogy cnuld 5s d i ~ between n the$ motivtion of. people nd the structure of n iceberg. A significnt segment of humn' motivtion ppers below the surfce where it is not lwys e'vident to the individul. Therefore, mny times only smll portion of motivtion is clerly visible or conscious to oneself. In this sitution, there is much misunderstndhg nd interpersonl conflict is lmost- ' sure to result. The process tht ffects the shpe of the Johri Window is the-feedbck. This is the extent to which others re willing to shre with the person on how he or she is coming cross. It is lso the extent to which the person is ble to perceive the verbl nd non-verbl feedbck in the orgnistionl setting. Another importnt fctor tht effects the Johri Window 5s

disclosure. This is the extent to which the persons re willing to shre with others the dt tht exists in their orgnistionl milieu. In the process of -feedbck nd disclosures in the system, orgnistionlly relevnt dt which the others re willing to shre with the person or persons bout the wy they think or behve, the open self of persons begins to broden its horizon. There is lso high probbility tht something of which ws previously unknown to the self nd others will begin to surfce into the unknown self. Leder Effectiveness nd Adptbility Description self (LEAD-self) nd Leder Effectiveness nd Adptbility Description other (LEAD-other) were developed by Hersey nd Blnchrd to determine the discrepncy between self-perception nd the perception of others. If there is gret discrepncy between self-perception nd other's perception, the open self of n dministrtor's or mnger's Johri Window would tend to be very smll. But if there is no significnt difference between the self-perception nd the perception of others, the open self in mnger's or dministrtor's Johri Window would be lrge. LEAD dt cn ctully mesure the shpe of the qudrnts in person's ledership Johri Window in ech of the orgnistionl settings in which the person opertes. The Ntionl Trining Lbortory suggests the following guidelines for providing feedbck for effective interpersonl reltions: Be descriptive rther thn judgementl. Be specific rther thn generl. Del with things tht cn be chnged. Give feedbck when it is desired. Consider the motives for giving nd receiving feedbck. Give feedbck t the time the behviour tkes plce. Give feedbck when its ccurcy cn be checked with others. - Itrter~ersonol Behviour 1), Explin Trnsctionl Axilys~........... 2) Wht is the Blind Self? 3) Wht is the Unknown Self! 10.3 EGO STATES The ego plys n importnt role in humn behviour. Sigmund Freud ws the first to believe tht there re three sources within the humn personlity tht stimulte, monitor nd control behviour. Trnsctionl nlysis uses Freudin psychonlytic theory s the bckground for ~entifying three importnt ego sttes: child, dult nd prent. These three ego sttes rt

Orgnistionl Behviour roughly equivlent to Freudin concepts of id (child), ego (dult) nd supergo (prent). These three ego sttes hve nothing to do with the chronologicl ge of the persons nd they re relted only with the psychologicl ge. A person of ny ge my hve these ego sttes in vrying degrees. According to Berne, "lthough we cnnot directly observe these ego sttes, we cn observe behviour nd from this infer which of the three ego sttes re operting t tht moment". People interct with one nother in terms of these three ego sttes. A blnce between three ego sttes gives wy for helthy person who cn esily move from one ego to nother. Prent (P) Ego Stte For better or for worse, prents serve s models nd re imprinted on the brins of their children. The prent ego stte is huge collection of recordings in the brin of unquestioned or imposed externl events perceived by person before his socil birth or before he leves home in response to the demnds of society nd enters school. The fther nd mother, elder sisters nd brothers nd school techers become internlised in the prent ego stte s recordings of wht the child sw them sy nd do. We often observe the prents or prent substitutes telling children, smoking or drinking is injurious to helth. From where did they lern this dvice? They probbly lerned it from their prents, who, in turn lernt it from their own prents nd so on. This mens tht the vlues nd behviour of prents become n integrl prt of person's personlity. Persons with the prent ego stte, ct like domineeririg prents. They cn be overly protective, loving, distnt, dogmtic, indispensble, upright, stem nd criticl. Physicl nd verbl clues tht someone is cting with the prent ego stte, include the wgging finger to show displesure, give stndrds nd rules for others, nd relince on the wys tht were successful in the pst. They tend to tlk down to people nd to tret others like children. There re two types of prent ego sttes: Nurturing prent, nd Prejudicil Prent or Criticl Prent. Nurturing prent ego stte reflects sympthetic, protective nd nurturing behviour not only towrds children but lso to other people in interction. Children who hve nurturing prents develop Prent ego sttes tht contin nurturing behviour. Unless delibertely deciding ginst it when grown, they my repet to their own children the sme sympthetic, nurturing remrks nd gestures tht they lerned from their prents. The Criticl Prent ego stte tends to be filled with opinions bout religion, politics, trditions, sexul role expecttions, life styles, child rering, proper dress, speech, nd ll the fcets of culturl fmily scripts. These opinions, often irrtionl, my not hve been evluted by the Audit ego stte nd my be prejudiced. When operting prejudicilly with children, prents ttempt to set stndrds of behviour on the bsis of these erroneous opinions rther thn on the bsis of fcts. Criticl p$ent ego stte shows criticl nd evlutive behviour in interction with others. It mkes people feel tht they, not just their behviour, re not O.K. Thus, Criticl Prent behviour ttcks people's personlities s well s their behviour. They re lwys redy to respond with should or ought to lmost nything people tell them. All prents tend to use Nurturing ego stte on some occsion nd the Criticl ego stte on others. Adult (A) Ego Stte Everyone hs n Adult ego stte, nd unless the brin is severely dmged,everyone is cpble of using dult dt-processing bility. The Adult is dt-processing computer, which grinds out decisions fter computing the informtion from the prent, the child, nd the dt which the Adult hs gthered nd is gthering. One of the importnt functions of the Adult is to exmine the dt in the Prent nd the Childbnk to ensure whether it is true or flse. After hving exmined the dt, the Adult will ccept or reject it. The gol is not to do wy with the Prent nd Child but to be free to exmine these bodies of dt. In the Adult ego stte people ttck problems in "cool-heded" rtionl mnner. People intercting with Adult ego do not ct impulsively or in domineering style. They ssume humn beings s equl, worthy nd responsible. The Adult hs n independent set of feelings, ttitudes nd ' behviour ptterns tht re dpted to the current relity nd re not ffected by Prentl prejudices or rchic ttitudes left over from childhood. Thus, people, with Adult ego stte gther relevnt informtion, crefully nlyse it, generte lterntives nd mke logicl choices. ThiS ego stte cn be identified by verbl nd physicl signs which include thoughtfil cgncentrtion nd fctul discussion.

Child (C) Ego Stte Interpersonl Behviour Everyone crries within one's brin nd nervous system, permnent recordings of internl events (feelings) in response to externl events (mostly fther nd mother) between the birth nd ge five. The Child ego stte is the inner world of feelings, experiences nd dpttions. It is ssocited with behviours like conformity, nxiety, depression, dependence, fer, cretivity, emotionl, sentimentl, submissive, joyful, insubordinte nd rebellious. In ech cse, the child ego is chrcterised by very immture behviour. For exmple, worker tells co-worker, "my boss mkes me so md sometimes, I could screm," nd then proceeds to brek into ters. It is childlike behviour. Physicl nd verbl clues tht the person is cting. in the child ego re silent complince, ttention seeking, temper tntrums, giggling nd coyness. Like n ctul child, the child ego desires pprovl from others nd prefers immedite rewrds. It cn be identified by its emotionl tone, s when n employee comments to the supervisor, "You're lwys picking on me". There re severl forms of the Child ego stte. Muriel nd Jogewrd in their book, Born to Win, hve sid tht the most populr child ego sttes re : Nturl Child, Adptive Child nd Little Professor. 1) The Nturl Child The Nturl Child is ffectionte, impulsive, sensuous, uncensored nd curious. For exmple, the Nturl child responds impulsively to his bodily feelings, crying when hungry or wet nd cooing when full or comfortble. Nevertheless, he is lso ferful, self-indulgent, self-centred, rebellious nd ggressive. When frustrted, for instnce, the Nturl child responds rebelliously. Children my ssert this will by throwing bottle, refusing to et or screming with nger, etc. 2) The Little Professor The Little Professor is intuitive, cretive nd mnipultive. When child cts like the Little Professor, he figures things out nd often believes in mgic. He responds to non-verbl messges nd plys hunches. For exmple, person cn intuitively guess the mening of the boss's tense jw or the twinkle in friend's eye. However, the little professor is sometimes wrong. The boss my hve toothche nd the friend my be enjoying fntsy. People who express their cretivity purposefully use their little professor in conjunction with their Adult ego stte. 3) The Adptive Child The dptive child is the trined one nd he is likely to do wht prents insist on, rtionl or irrtionl, nd my lern to feel non-ok. A child's first dpttions to the world begin in the mother's womb, ser emotions, chemicl mke-up, nutrition nd helth leve their effect on her unborn child. Immeditely fter his physicl birth, n infnt begins to dpt to the demnds of the outside world. The Adpted Child is socilised one. Children my be dpted to be courteous nd to conform to rituls nd to stndrds of dress. Briefly stted, n Adpted child is chrcterised by experiences nd prentl trining tht influence the child. Ech individul hs three unique ego sttes nd lso behves from these sttes t different times. However, ccording to Wgner " helthy person hs personlity tht mintins blwe mong ll three". Prcticlly speking it would be difficult if not impossible to mintin blnce mong ll the three ego sttes. At times, some people tend to be dominted by one or two ego sttes. Empiricl evidence shows tht the humn behviour is product of constnt interction between the sitution nd n individul which my led to good or bd consequences. Thus, n ego stte from which person behves would depend to lrge extent, on sitution in which n individul opertes t tht prticulr moment. Check Your Progress-2.' /. I) Explin the importnce of ego sttes in nlysing interpersonl behviour..'...

." 3rgnisetlonI Behnviour 2) Wht re the chrcteristics of persons with prent ego stte? 10.4 LIFE POSITIONS Very erly in life, person develops certin specific perceptions bsed on his or her experiences bout the self nd other's behviour. These perceptions tend to remin with the person for life, unless mjor experiences occur to chnge them. Such perceptions re the most deterministic decisions of ones life nd permnently influence everything one does. In trsctionl nlysis pproch, such perceptions* re clled life positions or psychologicl positions. This pproch constructs the following clssifiction of the four possible life positions held with respect to one-self nd others: (1) I m not - OK - You re OK. (2) I m not - OK - You re not - OK. (3) I m OK - You re not - OK. (4) 1 m OK - You re OK. I'm Not - OK - You're OK This is common position of persons who feel powerless when they compre themselves to others. This position leds them to withdrw, experience depression, nd in severe cses, become suicidl. Persons with this life position lwys feel themselves t the mercy of others nd grumble for one thing or the other. Mngers behving from this position tend to give nd receive bd feelings. In this position, there is need to give positive strokes to motivte the workers to produce more. Those who hve this position operte from child ego stte. I'm Not OK - You're Not OK This is position of those who lose interest in living. They feel tht life is full of frustrtions nd exhibit schizoid behviour. In extreme cses, persons with this life position commit suicide or homicide. Those persons who were ignored by their prents in their erly life nd brought up by their servnts usully tke this position. At times, persons with this life position begin to use intoxicted drugs. Mngers behving from this position re not competent, energetic, efficient nd effective. They re indecisive, confused nd mke unclled for mistkes. They provoke others to give them negtive strokes in order to relieve themselves from stresses, nd strins. I'm OK - You're not OK Those persons who hve this position feel victimised or persecuted, or they victimise nd persecute others. They blme others for their miseries. This is distrustful psychologicl position. It is n outcome of sitution in which the child ws seriously neglected by his prents. Delinquents nd criminls often hve this position nd tke on prnoid behviour which in extreme cses my led to homicide. In this position, persons operte from the prent ego. Mngers behving from this position believe in negtive strokes. They feel tht workers re lzy, irresponsible nd untrustful, therefore, they need to be closely controlled nd often coerced to chieve orgnistionl objectives. I'm OK - You're OK This is potentilly mentlly he'lthy position. People with this position expressconfidence in themselves s well s trust nd confidence in others. Their expecttions re likely to be vlid. They ccept the significnce of people nd feel tht life is worthliving. ~hdse who hve this position behve from Adult, Nurturing prent, nd Hppy child ego sttes. When mngers behve from this position, they hve complete confidence nd trust in subordintes. They -disperse decision-mking uthority throughout the orgnistion. They believe in giving nd tking positive strokes. They encourge communiction flow not only up.nd down the hierrchy but mong peers. Every person hs the bove four positions nd tkes one in life, bout one self nd bout

others. The lst is the winner's position (I'm OK - you're OK). But even winners my occsionlly hve feelings tht resemble the other three. The best position is one tht provides n dult-dult trnsction, i.e., I'm OK - You're OK. It is the most desirble position becuse it shows cceptnce of self nd others. Psychologicl understnding nd conscious choice cn help people to move to OK - OK position. Eduction, understnding, positive nd mture psychologicl experiences help individuls to lern this. Trnsctions tke plce between people nd consist of sti~nulus (verbl nd non-verbl) plus response. People interct with ech other from ego sttes. Trnsctionl nlysis cn help us to determine which ego stte is most hevily influencing our behviour nd the behviour of other people with whom we interct. On the bsis of ego sttes, trnsctions cn be clssified s complimentry, crossed nd ulterior. 10.5 WAYS TO DEAL WITH CONFLICTS lnlerpersonl Behviour The min or primry unit of ny orgnistion, lrge or smll, is the individul. If mnger knows wht fctors influence n individul's behviour, including his own he would be ble to mnge more effectively. To understnd behviour it is necessry to consider ttitudes, perceptions nd personlity. There is no mgic formul to gin n insight into humn behviour but, these fctors do give us some knowledge nd informtion on humn interctions. Criticism, nger, srcsm, ggression, fer, ters, low performnce etc. re lrgely connected to feelings nd emotions of individuls. The cuses of ll these hve more to do with fctors such s needs, interests, roles, pressures, personlity, resources, lck of wreness nd skill. Ultimtely these fctors led to conflicts mong individuls or groups. Conflict is not ' necessrily bd, but t times some very useful or productive outcome my be expected out of conflict. Conflict mngement is necessry to remove unplesnt feelings, nger, criticism nd gression, etc., tht ffect good interpersonl reltionships.the following wys could be helpful in deling with conflicts: 1) Try to chnnel the drives tht produces rivlry into constructive effort Most of the people in n orgn'istion wnt to do better. They wnt to excel in whtever they re doing. It is becuse of these feelings, motives drives nd desires tht people get into conflicting situtions or becuse of which the frictions rise. (In cse with the help of superiors nd ssocites these drives re chnneled in the right direction the orgnistion s whole would benefit nd this will lso be n sset for the orgnistion) 2) Wtch for the points where conflicts my become distructive. There is no formul tht tells us when rivlry nd controversy hve gone too fr nd when they hven't. One hs to ply this question by the er nd observtion nd mke individul judgements in ech cse. One importnt spect to be remembered is tht the gins of conflicts such s new informtion, new understnding nd eduction etc., must be weighed ginst the cost in terms of hurt feelings nd sleepless nights tht the conflict produces. 3) Keep focusing on the benefits of hving men with bility, irrespective of their personl weknesses While pprising performnces of n employee his chrcter or the personl side is rrely isolted, This my led mnger to overlook the positive trits of doer/chiever, nd this my result in frictions or conflicts which my be resolved by pointing out the plus points of n employee nd lso by giving prticulr job responsibility. 4) See tht your very mbitious subordintes work for you nd the compny In cse your subordintes hve s lot of time to spend on bckstge mnoeuvres it mens tht they don't hve enough work. It is lwys good ide to see if the long term plns/ developments of the orgnistion re being effectively mnged by your subordintes. It is lso importnt to tke stock of whether the employees cre for developing the bilities of subordintes nd ssignments or not. T)e jobs of the employees should be enriched s uell -s enlrged. This will keep them occupied. 5) See tht the friction hppens for the right resons Whenever you get concerned bout ny rivlry/conflict or rgument tht is going on, sk yourself question. "Is this hppening becuse of the groups forwrd progress or becuse I hven't been providing the right qulity of ledership"?

Orgnistionl Behviour Try to put people's efforts in such wy tht conflcits come from bonfide ttempts to move the orgnistion hed nd not for selfish or short term gins. If you re n utocrtic leder, your subordintes will come for guidnce ech time they fce problem s they re highly dependent on you nd t the sme time they will not show but hide their feelings. They my hide problems lso. In this cse there'will be negtive result. On the other hnd if you believe in building self relince, encourging inititive nd mke your people work for chieving certin orgnistionl gols, then lso there my be conflicts but of the kind tht comes nturlly from forwrd progress. Check Your Progress3 1) Wht re the different life positions used in Trnsctionl Anlysis pproch? 2) List out ny three wys of conflict mngement. In the preceding sections we hve explined the mening of self-wreness s this goes long wy in improving interpersonl reltionships. Every individul hs n ego nd the behviour of person is guided by the dominnce or bsence of specific ego sttes. In order to hve cordil reltionships in the orgnistion nd mong the individuls, it is necessry to hve complimentry rther thn crossed or ulterior trnsctions. Further the four life positions nd the resons for dopting prticulr life position t given point of time hve been explined with view to ensure positive interpersonl behviour. Conflicts stnd in the wy of clled for interpersonl behviour. Thus some wys for effectively deling with the conflicts hve been mentioned in the Unit. 10.7 ANSWERS TO CHECK YOUR PROGRESS EXERCISES Check Your Progress-1 1) TA is conceptul frmework to understnd interpersonl styles. See Sec.lO.1 2) See Sec.10.2 3) See Sec. 10.2 Check Your Progress-2 I. 1) Ego is n importnt controlling fctor of individul behviour. Understnding of different ego sttes helps in nlysing humn behviour. See Sec.10.3 2) See Sec.lO.3 Check Your Progress - 3 1) See Sec. 10.4 2) See Sec.lO.5