No Glove, No Love? Those who have engaged in spontaneous sexual intercourse at least once in their lifetimes

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Giles Pearson
5 years ago
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1 No Glove, No Love? Those who have engaged in spontaneous sexual intercourse at least once in their lifetimes have often hailed the male condom as one of man s greatest inventions. And while it has not been too long since the mass media helped popularize condom usage through commercials, print advertisements and television shows such as Friends, the male condom has been around since the 19 th century when vulcanized rubber was created (Hyde & DeLamater, 2003). In fact, the basic idea of the male contraceptive covering the penis with a thin sheath to form a barrier against the semen and the vagina has been used throughout most of recorded history (Hyde & DeLamater, 2003). It comes in a little square packet that one can easily buy at any drugstore or supermarket and is usually made out of latex (sometimes polyurethane or lambskin for those individuals allergic to rubber). There are many slang terminologies for the male condom (glove, Jimmy hat, raincoat, rubber, lifesaver, et al.), a basic sign proving its popularity amongst the masses. Just in the United States, 450 million condoms are sold annually (Hyde & DeLamater, 2003). Because of its main advantages affordability, accessibility and simplicity male condoms are one of the most popular contraceptives in American society. But in this paper, I will attempt to refute the condom s fame by stating its important disadvantages. With the rise of its popularity, condoms now come in an assortment of colors, flavors and shapes (ribbed, studded, banana-flavored, extra lubricated, et al.). I was not even aware that they created ones with a protruding tip (Hyde & DeLamater, 2003). Obviously, that takes care of the problem of not leaving enough space for the ejaculate. In order to use one, the condom is unrolled onto an erect penis until (if it does not have a protruding tip) a ½ inch of space is left at the bottom. If the individual fails to leave some room, the semen might spill out of the rubber and get into the vaginal entrance. Despite its apparent minimalism, condoms are often misused.

2 In fact, there is a 14 percent typical-failure rate (Hyde & DeLamater, 2003). The majority of the time, the individuals are to blame not a faulty contraceptive. But because most contraceptives fail to work because of human error, the many hassles of the male condom is a big problem. Although devices like Trojan or Durex prevent unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases, a man has to use a condom all the time for it to actually work. Inconsistent usage is a problem because of several inconveniences. One of the most notorious complaints about it is that the male condom ruins spontaneity and spur of the moment intercourse (Hyde & DeLamater, 2003). Carrying a condom is a sign to many that the male anticipates sex and hence, it might ruin the unplanned, romantic aspect of making love. Many females, especially those from religious backgrounds, refuse to carry them because planning ahead also correlates to predicting, or wanting, coitus. In fact, one of my concerns with condom usage was all the times and places we could not engage in intercourse because of not having a condom. I had always fantasized about making love with my boyfriend in the shower, but where exactly would he carry the contraceptive when we are both naked? Another major problem for my boyfriend was that wearing one decreased the sensation and got in the way of his pleasure. The first couple of times we had sex, I would not let him touch me without a condom present. There were several occasions where we stopped kissing because we realized he would have to run to the car to retrieve his Trojan. He and I both knew if we continued to kiss, it would lead to intercourse. Now, I am on Ortho Tri-Cyclin (combination birth control pills). In all honesty, having coitus with or without a condom feels the same to me. I believe it is like this for the majority of females. But my philosophy was that I wanted the experience to be as pleasurable for him as it was for me. True, his penis felt the same without a condom on. But because he was more stimulated, his performance (and confidence) greatly

3 improved making the action better for me, too. However, while taking this course, I learned about an invention called polyurethane condoms, which are thinner and stronger than regular latex condoms. I wish I had known about this so I would not have had to go through all those instances of worrying about being pregnant. I never thought I would be so happy to get my menstrual period. Lastly, it is erroneous when couples forget to put on condoms, but it is just as worse when they are incorrectly used. People might as well not use them at all. I believe because of its plain structure (after all, it is just a tube of thin rubber) and its easy-to-use status, many men and women believe that all they have to do is simply put one on and that is that. Until recently, I did not know that my boyfriend should have immediately pulled out after he ejaculated when wearing a condom (Hyde & DeLamater, 2003). The reason for this is because as the erection goes away, the penis becomes smaller and the condom gets looser. It might essentially fall off. I naturally thought that as long as he had one on, we were protected. I did not like the idea of my boyfriend having to pull out after ejaculation because I enjoyed those quiet moments after the passionate intimacy when we would talk with him still inside my body. Another mistake we made with condom usage was that we did not know we were supposed to use a new rubber each time we made love. Things might have been simple if I was the one visiting him in his room, but because it was the other way around (I could not have risked having a box of condoms stashed away in my room) and he always carried one condom in his pocket, we would use the same rubber each time we had sex. I cannot even imagine having to put on a new one each and every time we were aroused. Refusing to use a condom might be stupid, but realistically speaking, it really is tedious.

4 I lost my virginity not too long ago. I had always dreamt of finding someone worth all the trouble (pregnancy scares, the risk of getting caught, et cetera). Ever since I met my boyfriend, the emotional/romantic aspect of having sex has taken over me. Logically, I know that having sex without a condom on is like playing Russian roulette. Obviously, he and I are not ready to be parents. But the 20 years of fantasizing and dreaming about all the ways we would make love would have been somehow ruined or prolonged with condom usage. Perhaps, it would not have been so bothersome if one of us had our own room and more privacy. Time is essential to people who cannot risk getting caught by austere parents. The few seconds that it took to put on a condom eventually seemed worthless. Philosophically and morally speaking, I do feel guilty for the several times we had sex without a condom. I guess my thought on the possibility of getting pregnant was like most other women: It won t happen to me. But my expectations for myself have always been high and to this day, I cannot believe I risked so much for sex. I have been playing it safe my entire life and I believe having unprotected sex was my chance at being wild. Of course, the story would have been much different if I knew my boyfriend was not a virgin (until me). With us, the fear was more about having a baby than anything. If I were with a man who had many sexual partners, I would have definitely used condoms or other birth control methods.

5 References Hyde, J. S. & DeLamater, J. D. (2003). Understanding human sexuality (8 th ed.). New York: McGraw Hill.

17. Preventing pregnancy

17. Preventing pregnancy Objectives By the end of this session, group members will be able to: Define contraception. List ways young people can prevent pregnancy. Background notes What is contraception?