CR Step Study Leaders Training: Step 12 Carry this Message

Transcription

1 CR Step Study Leaders Training: Step 12 Carry this Message Step 12 Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Layne Young Men s Step Study Leader September 29, 2012 lyoung@comcast.net

2 1 Contents Contents... 1 Tool: Using the Bell Curve to Understand What is Important 1 Why Do You Desire to be a Step Study Leader?... 2 What is the key verse in your testimony?... 2 Celebrate Recovery DNA... 3 First Day Step Study Organization... 4 Discernment... 4 Step Study Goals and Objectives... 5 Step Study Concepts... 6 Step by Step Help... 6 Methods for doing a 4 th Step... 7 Tool: Understanding More about Our Self... 9 Tool: Using the Bell Curve to Understand What is Important Suppose this is the percentage of participants in your Step Study. 60% 50% 40% 30% 20% Participant 10% 0% Non-Christian Some Church Believer Active Leader Purpose of understanding the bell curve To learn that not everything is black and white To see how extreme behavior messes with your life To see the importance of balance

3 2 Why Do You Desire to be a Step Study Leader? Do you feel a need to give back and that leading people through Step Studies is your calling and gift? Do you see a need in your Celebrate Recovery Group to provide a means for people to bulletproof their recovery? Do you see people searching for a deeper understanding of recovery and how to apply recovery principles to their lives? Did someone recognize in you the gift of leadership and sharing and ask you to learn more? Did you have a poor experience in your personal step study and commit to enhancing the process for others? Do you feel the joy that comes through serving and the desire to share that joy with others who are hurting? Principle 8 Verses What a wonderful God we have he is the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the source of every mercy and the one who so wonderfully comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials. Why does he do this? So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them this same help and comfort God has given us. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, TLB) In response to all he has done for us, let us outdo each other in being helpful and kind to each other and in doing good. (Hebrews 10:24, TLB) When God s children are in need, you be the one to help them out Don t just pretend that you love others; really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. (Romans 12:13, 9, TLB) What is the key verse in your testimony? Verse:

4 3 Celebrate Recovery DNA What makes a CR Step Study a CR Step Study? 1. Leader (especially for groups) a. Completed successfully at least 1 Step Study b. Demonstrated at least 1 year of sobriety c. Have attended a CR Step Study Leaders Training workshop d. Attending a regular CR meeting e. Currently not involved with any major life decisions f. Currently not acting out or on the edge g. If a rookie (first couple step studies) being mentored by an experienced leader. h. Accountable to leadership for status updates, prayer requests and need(s) for assistance 2. Participants (for group) a. Have a sponsor (actively searching) b. Knows importance of recovery team c. Has some sobriety, is not acting out d. Has attended CR for at least 3 months e. Willing to make time commitment - accountability f. Ability to focus and track with group g. Attending a Bible believing church h. Willing to purchase/acquire CR participant guides 3. Format for Meeting a. On a separate night from regular meeting night (2 hours) b. Leader and Co-Leader c. Men s and Women s (hurts, hang-ups and habits may play a role) d. Private/secluded location (meeting room - not a restaurant) e. Standard meeting guidelines i. Anonymity and Confidentiality ii. Keep sharing focused iii. Language and graphic descriptions iv. No Fixing (Feedback & Processing) v. Crosstalk f. Open/Check In Worship/Focus Question Lesson(s) Close g. Start on-time and End on-time

5 4 First Day Step Study Organization 1. Introductions 2. Accountability - Attendance life has a role 3. Sign-in sheet 4. Need a sponsor 5. Step Study Schedule 6. Journals a. Contact information b. Baseline c. Study questions d. Notes e. Thoughts and assignments 7. Participant Guides 8. Pen & Paper 9. Bibles and Bible Apps & other materials 10. Contact information 11. Attendance verification card/sheet (justice system) 12. Initial check in 13. Definition of a relapse 14. Behavior that is out-of-bounds 15. Not a time to start a new relationship 16. Not a time for a major decision 17. Other Discernment 1. Potential mental health issues that impair a participants focus 2. Melt downs, eruptions & distractions 3. Evidence of a crime committed to be committed 4. Spiritual, emotional and time investment (by leader) 5. Feelings of suicide or harm 6. Referral (counseling, financial, housing, sponsor, etc) 7. Sunday School/Bible Study vs. Recovery Meeting 8. Religion vs. Recovery 9. Christian-ese and other jargon 10. General topics off subject 11. Victims & Abusers 12. Substance Abuse & Life Issues 13. When to close group to new members 14. Surrogate sponsor 15. Not doing work 16. Accountability (attendance) 17. Bending small group guidelines 18. Favorites & partiality 19. Co-leader & special speakers 20. Cancelling a meeting 21. When is the group dead? 22. Open prayer requests 23. Graphic discussions

6 5 Step Study Goals and Objectives 1. Make arrangements for a good location to meet a. Easy to find, park, safe, well lit at night b. Minimal/no distractions c. Place for two hours of uninterrupted time d. Privacy 2. Educate for understanding a. Don t assume everyone understands the material b. Assess as you go c. Have their sponsor follow up on the foggy stuff 3. Introduce them to our Higher Power Jesus Christ a. Through our lives b. Through the workbooks c. Through prayer d. Through discussion with other believers 4. Prepare their life for change a. Recovery is about old life to new life b. Stick to the program do steps in order c. Watch for change 5. Effective and clear communication a. Reminders b. Assignments c. Meeting dates and times (to include changes) d. Rules violations 6. Cultivate open-honest-and-respectful conversation a. Be prepared for serious life issues b. You set the tone for what is discussed and how it s discussed c. Do not play favorites, do not isolate and be accountable d. Do not be the source of gossip 7. Definition of Completion a. Completed a 4 th Step Inventory b. Completed a 5 th Step with another c. Completed at least 1 proper 9 th Step Amends d. Completed all questions in participant guides 8. Prayer Prayer Prayer

7 6 Step Study Concepts 1. Move from the extremes of behavior to the middle, balance 2. Sins of the parents Rain/Shine on good and bad people (encouragement) 3. Relationship with God (What does it mean?) a. Read the Word b. Pray c. Seek the wisdom of believers d. Build relationships (minister) 4. Priorities of Time a. Sleep/Maintenance b. Obligated Time (work/school) c. Discretionary Time (leisure time/reflective thought) 5. Recovery Baseline a. Where are they when you start? b. Is there change? c. Where should they be at the end? 6. We don t all think alike (squares, circles, triangles & squiggles) Step by Step Help 1. Step 1 Group forming, looking for structure, set boundaries & get baseline 2. Step 2 Journaling, talk about sponsors, explore who you are 3. Step 3 Communication, listening, I-Statements, confirm sponsors 4. Step 4 Life of David, journaling, focus on inventory 5. Step 5 Scheduling 5 th steps, cancel meeting, 6. Step 6 & 7 Explore character defects and root causes, look for change 7. Steps 8 & 9 Discussion about head & heart (motive) 8. Step 10 Daily inventory tool, look for change 9. Step 11 Reinforce positive habits (change) 10. Step 12 Wrap up, commitment, revisit baseline

8 7 Methods for doing a 4 th Step Your forth step inventory is a collection of facts that: - Have occurred within your lifetime - Have left you with an emotionally changed memory - May have been a positive or negative experience - Are things you have done to others AND things that were done to you - May be memories that have been repressed - May be memories that you deal with every day - Most likely are associated with the people closest to you The CR Principle 4 Inventory Worksheet requires each fact to contain: - The Person (the subjects of the event) - The Cause (what happened) - The Effect (the factual result of the event) - The Damage (the impact on yourself and others) - My Part (why were you involved) 4 th Step Inventory Method #1: Timeline Using the 4 th Step Inventory Timeline draw a line from the approximate age in the timeline above the line and list the event in which something was done to you. Draw a line below from your approximate age on the timeline and note an event you did to others. After collecting these facts transfer the significant events to the CR Principle 4 Inventory Worksheet. - Events in your childhood (earliest memory through elementary) - Events in your youth (Jr High through High School) - Events in your young adult life (college/military/working life/family) - Events within the past few years (what got you to CR) - Milestone coming to CR - Events since you ve been coming to CR 4 th Step Inventory Method #2: Relationships Using the relationship priorities list below try to remember events in your life for the four time periods (i.e. Events God during childhood, God during youth, etc) and list them on the Pre 4 th Step Worksheet. After collecting these facts transfer the significant events to the CR Principle 4 Inventory Worksheet. - God (childhood, youth, adult, recently)* - Spouse (adult, recently) - Children (adult, recently) - Extended Family (childhood, youth, adult, recently) - Friends (childhood, youth, adult, recently) - Coworkers (adult, recently) - Others (significant relationships military, institutional, clients, constituents, etc)

9 8 4 th Step Inventory Method #3: Multiple Passes Using the Pre 4 th Step Worksheet consider the 4 time periods and begin noting events beginning with the strongest memories you have about events positive and negative in your life. Focus on the theme of each pass as you note the facts. After collecting these facts transfer the significant events to the CR Principle 4 Inventory Worksheet. Pass 1: strongest event memories (you did to others, others did to you) Pass 2: criminal behavior (criminal activity not caught, arrests and breaking rules) Pass 3: strong feelings (anger, resentment, fear, sexual harm) Pass 4: personality (bully, controlling, know-it-all, wall flower, promiscuous, etc) 4 th Step Inventory Method #4: Journal Using your Journal consider the 4 time periods: 1. Label the top of the first page of your inventory with Childhood and begin journaling about the events during that time period. Take your time and do a little at a time each day. When the thoughts start to slow down go to next step. 2. Leave a page or two and start with the next time period Youth and so on. 3. When all time periods are complete review all your entries, highlight or asterisk the significant events and fill in missing details as needed. 4. When your review is complete transfer the significant events to the CR Principle 4 Inventory Worksheet. Bottom line: Get the 4 th Step Inventory done. Keep things simple. These methods are recommended to accommodate different thinking styles. It is possible to mix and match aspects of each method to adjust to your leadership style or the needs of the group. There is no one right way to do it. An inventory in chronological order makes it easy for a sponsor to hear a 5 th Step. Barriers to completing a Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory - Too much processing of past events not being ready - Not being honest - Distractions - Priorities of life - Shame and guilt - Confusion about doing a 4 th Step

10 9 Tool: Understanding More about Our Self Who we are, is made up of many factors. Use signs, figures, symbols, letters and abbreviations to identify who you are. (physical relational occupational recreational situational habitual) The Four Realities of a life in Recovery (or for anyone else). Things we can t change (the facts) Things we can change (our choices) Things God does (higher power stuff) Things we live with (consequences)

11 10 Handouts 1. Step Study Schedule (1p) 2. Step Study Contact List (1p) 3. How Do You Feel Today (1p) 4. Selecting your CR Recovery Team (2p) 5. David s Timeline BC 1046 to 970 (2p) 6. David s Family Tree (1p) 7. 4 th Step Inventory Timeline (1p) 8. Pre 4 th Step Worksheet (1p) 9. Celebrate Recovery Principle 4 Inventory Worksheet (1p) 10. My Daily CR Review (1p) 11. Step Study Wrap-Up (1p)