THE FEAR FACTOR MINIMIZING FEAR TO REALIZE YOUR GOALS

Transcription

1 THE FEAR FACTOR MINIMIZING FEAR TO REALIZE YOUR GOALS FLORIDA ASSOCIATION OF CITY CLERKS 2017 FALL ACADEMY FEARLESS LIVING IS A LIE 1

2 THERE S PLENTY OF FEAR TO GO AROUND DztycKwY 2

3 WE ARE HARD-WIRED FOR FEAR. Our brains are constantly scanning for signs of danger, ready to activate reflexes to keep you safe Instantaneous sequence of hormonal and physiological changes prepare you to fight or flee. Our bodies can react to common occurrences, such as a traffic jam, a work deadline or an argument with a partner as life-threatening events. STRESS IS NORMAL, BUT NOT AS A CONSTANT STATE. From the book, Why Zebras Don t Get Ulcers by Robert Sapolsky: What stress is like for 99% of the beasts on this plant is 3 minutes of screaming terror after which either it is over with or you re over with. Humans turn on the identical stress response for a thirty-year mortgage. NOTE: Urbach Wiethe disease Our brains crave certainty. The more certainty and control we THINK we have about a potentially threatening situation, the less stress we will feel. Interestingly, PERCEPTION is all that counts with this. -Taylor Clark from the book Nerve: Poise Under Pressure, Serenity Under Stress and the Brave New Science of Fear and Cool WHAT IS THE #1CULPRIT OF INCREASED ACTIVITY IN THE AMYGDALA? Uncertainty. As the level of ambiguity and amygdala activity increases, the part of the brain involved in response to rewards, the ventral striatum, decreases functioning. - Ming Hsu, Psychologist 3

4 MAKING FRIENDS WITH FEAR. To calm our amygdala down and reduce fear, we have to transform our relationship with it from adversarial to accepting. It isn t about whether you feel afraid. Everybody does. It s about your relationship with fear. EXERCISE WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? THE FACE OF FEAR 4

5 THE FACE OF FEAR LEFT UNCHECKED, FEAR GROWS EXPONENTIALLY. FEAR WANTS TO TAKE UP RESIDENCY IN OUR BRAINS. 5

6 EXERCISE: THE DISGUISES OF FEAR ANGER JUDGMENT SHYNESS INAPPROPRIATE HUMOR INTOLERANCE EXCESS (DRUGS/ALCOHOL) DEFENSIVENESS ALOOFNESS INDECISIVENESS JEALOUSY HOW DOES FEAR MANIFEST ITSELF? FEARS begin with SUGGESTIONS that are often LIES. 6

7 EVERY FEAR COMES WITH A CHOICE: OR UM, CAN WE GET TO SOME SOLUTIONS? YES, I CAN READ YOUR MINDS. 7

8 YOUR GREATEST WEAPON AGAINST FEAR? CHOOSING ONE THOUGHT OVER ANOTHER. HERE S A JUMPING OFF POINT: ARE YOU AWFUL-IZING? Fear distorts your reality: Anything is better than uncertainty. Fear replaces the unknown with the awful: It drowns your capacity for critical thought. Fear paints a lie that looks like reality: If you don t face it, you will live it. 8

9 ARE YOU WILLING TO: Hold yourself accountable for your thoughts Recognize your assumptions Harness your internal strength Silence your internal critic Accept your strengths and weaknesses Open your heart to your blessings YOUR FEARS, YOUR CRITICS, YOUR HEROES, YOUR VILLAINS CHOOSE THEY ARE YOUR EXCUSES, RATIONALIZATIONS, SHORTCUTS, JUSTIFICATIONS YOUR SURRENDER. WHAT REALITY ARE YOU CREATING FOR YOURSELF? 9

10 How do WE hold the brush? Respond vs. React Take it out and look at it Share it with a trusted friend Expose the lie you are entertaining And stop saying, But what if it s TRUE! EXERCISE: WHAT IS THE LIE BEHIND YOUR GREATEST FEAR? 10

11 1. AWARENESS IS THE BEGINNING OF CHANGE Any time you find yourself doubting or feeling stressed or anxious, step back and look at the situation and how you're responding. In that moment of awareness is the seed of the change you want to make. 2. THINK ABOUT WHAT CAN GO RIGHT Instead of focusing on the negative possibilities, which will paralyze you, STOP. Visualize all of the things that can go right and keep those thoughts present and up front. FEAR S LEADING LINE: What if? 11

12 3. DISTRACT YOURSELF INTO HAPPINESS What s a happy, healthy, positive alternative? Distance yourself from the issues enough to shut down the over analysis. 4. PUT THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE Remember, fear makes the wolf bigger than it is. It is an AMPLIFIER. How much will this matter in five years? (Or even next month!) 5. STOP WAITING FOR PERFECTION Waiting for perfect is never as smart as making progress. Perfectionism is best friends with fear, but is unrealistic, impractical and debilitating. 12

13 6. CHANGE YOUR VIEW OF FEAR If you are looking at a situation through the lens of a bad memory, you re attracting a repeat performance. Every opportunity is a new beginning; a place to start again. 7. PUT A TIMER TO WORK. Set a timer for five minutes and give yourself that time to think, worry, and analyze. Spend 10 minutes writing down what s worrying you. At the end of ten minutes, throw the paper out and move on- preferably to something more fun. 8. REALIZE YOU CAN T PREDICT THE FUTURE If you spend the present moment worrying about the future you are robbing yourself of the present. 13

14 9. ACCEPT YOUR BEST The fear that grounds overthinking is based in feeling that you aren t good enough not smart enough or hardworking enough or dedicated enough. Have you given your best effort? Accept it as such and move on. 10. BE GRATEFUL It is impossible to have a fearful and a grateful thought simultaneously. WHAT ARE YOU GRATEFUL FOR? YES, YOU. RIGHT NOW. WRITE IT DOWN. 14

15 The human brain is wired for a single purpose survival. The mind is not designed to make you happy, it s designed to help you survive. TONY ROBBINS SAYS IT BEST: It is always looking for what could hurt you, and it magnifies the bad. We are wired to operate out of a place of scarcity and fear. But here s the thing you have the choice of what to focus on. Remember, what s wrong is always available, but so is what s right. If you listen to your fears, you will die never knowing what a great person you might have been. ROBERT SCHULLER LEAVES US WITH A CHALLENGE: 15

16 C BRENDAVIOLA.COM 16