CREDENTIALED PRACTITIONER OF COACHING. Module 2 PERSONAL MASTERY

Transcription

1 CREDENTIALED PRACTITIONER OF COACHING Module 2 PERSONAL MASTERY

2 THE COACHING INSTITUTE Credentialed Practitioner of Coaching COPYRIGHT 2013 THE COACHING INSTITUTE PTY LTD. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this manual may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying and recording, or by information storage and retrieval system without permission in writing from the publisher. Published by The Coaching Institute. For further information contact: The Coaching Institute Suite 40, Albert Square, Albert Road, Melbourne VIC 3004 Phone: Fax: wow@thecoachinginstitute.com.au LEGAL NOTICES DISCLAIMER While all attempts have been made to verify information provided in this publication, neither the author nor the publisher nor the marketing agents assumes any responsibility for errors, omissions or contrary interpretation of the subject matter herein. This publication is not intended for use as a legal source or accounting advice. The publisher wants to stress that the information contained herein may be subject to varying state and/or federal laws or regulations. All users of this information are advised to retain competent counsel to determine what state and /or federal laws or regulations may apply to the user s particular business. The purchaser or reader of this publication assumes responsibility for the use of these materials and information. Adherence to all applicable laws and regulations, including federal and state and local governing professional licensing, business practices, advertising and all other aspects of doing business in Australia or any other jurisdiction is the sole responsibility of the purchaser or reader. The publisher and author and marketing agents assume no responsibility or liability whatsoever on the behalf of any purchaser or reader of these materials. Any perceived slight of specific people or organisations is unintentional. FINANCIAL DISCLAIMER Any earnings or income statements, or earning or income examples are only estimates of what we think you could earn. There is no assurance you ll do as well. If you rely upon our figures, you must accept the risk of not doing as well. Where specific income figures are used, and attributed to an individual or business, those persons or businesses have earned that amount. There is no assurance you ll do as well. If you rely upon our figures, you must accept the risk of not doing as well. Any and all claims or representations, as to income earning mentioned, are not to be considered average earnings. There can be no assurance that any prior successes, or past results as to income earnings, can be used as an indication of your future success or results. Monetary and income results are based on many factors. We have no way of knowing how well you will do, as we do not know you, your background, your work ethic, or your business skills or practices. Therefore we do not guarantee or imply that you will get rich, that you will do as well, or that you make any money at all. There is no assurance you ll do as well. If you rely on our figures, you must accept the risk of not doing as well. All business and earnings derived have unknown risks involved and are not suitable for everyone. Making decisions based on any information presented should be done only with the knowledge that you could experience significant losses, or make no money at all. All products and services by our company are for educational and informational purposes only. Use caution and seek the advice of qualified professionals. Check with your accountant, lawyer, professional advisor, before acting on this or any information. Users of our products, services and websites are advised to do their own due diligence when it comes to making business decisions, and all information, products and service that have been provided should be independently verified by your own qualified professionals. All information, products and services should be carefully considered and evaluated, before reaching a business decision, on whether to rely on them. You agree that our company is not responsible for the success or failure of your business decisions relating to any information presented by our company, or our company products or services and their representations. 2

3 MODULE 2 PERSONAL MASTERY Goal Setting Overview Contents Goal Setting Overview... 5 In this section the participant will explore... 5 Training delivery... 5 Major learning outcomes... 5 Goal Setting... 6 S.M.A.R.T. Goal Setting... 7 More on Goals... 8 Fears... 8 Secondary gain... 9 Alternative choices Distractions when goal setting Exploring Beliefs Overview In this section the participant will explore Training delivery Major learning outcomes Introduction Clues to limiting beliefs Ladder of Inference: Model for Beliefs The model we use is: Coach Tip The questions to ask to discover the client s beliefs: Questions to shift client beliefs: The Be When Coaching

4 THE COACHING INSTITUTE Credentialed Practitioner of Coaching GOAL SETTING 4

5 MODULE 2 PERSONAL MASTERY Goal Setting Overview Goal Setting Overview In this section the participant will explore The SMART Model for goal setting More on goals Fears and goals Secondary gain Alternative choices Distractions when goal setting Class discussion Demonstrations Supervised practice Training delivery THE COACH WILL Major learning outcomes Be able to communicate effectively with their client Be able to actively listen to their client Be able to clarify the client to ensure understanding Understand the importance of acknowledgment and how to acknowledge appropriately 5

6 THE COACHING INSTITUTE Credentialed Practitioner of Coaching Goal Setting Your role as the coach is to develop and maintain an effective coaching plan with the client. You are there to Brainstorm with the client to define actions that will enable the client to demonstrate, practice and deepen new learnings Engage the client to explore alternative ideas and solutions, to evaluate options, and to make related decisions Challenge the client s assumptions and perspectives to provoke new ideas and find new possibilities for action Encourage stretches and challenges Consolidate collected information and establish with the client a coaching plan Create a plan with results that are attainable, measurable, specific and have target dates Assist the client to make plan adjustments as needed by the coaching process and by changes to the situation Identify early successes to assist the client to build momentum Beyond the goal setting, you are also there to Keep the client on track with their chosen goals Promote self-discipline and hold the client accountable for what they say they are going to do Assist the client to develop their ability to make decisions and address key concerns in a resourceful way Positively confront the client with the fact that they did not take agreed-upon actions Coaching is about assisting your client to move from where they are to where they want to be and to do this there are some simple models to assist. 6

7 MODULE 2 PERSONAL MASTERY S.M.A.R.T. Goal Setting S.M.A.R.T. Goal Setting The SMART Model is often used to assist your clients in setting goals. S SIMPLE Keep the goals simple and focused, rather than wordy and vague Be specific with what is to be achieved the more specific the better M MEASURABLE Make sure the achievement of this goal is measurable ie ask the question How will you know you ve achieved this goal? What will be different once this is accomplished? A ATTRACTIVE The goal must be appealing to the client not just for the short term, but the long term also As if now state the goal as if it is already achieved, with the date stating the date of successful achievement of the goal R REALISTIC The goal needs to be achievable ie tennis champion in two years having never played and in their forties would not be attainable T TIMED Stated as if it s done Know when it will be achieved FOR EXAMPLE It is Christmas 2009 and I am at Anglesea beach, toasting my success as a coach with 20 clients who all appreciate my service and pay $200 per hour, on time and happily and I love what I do. 7

8 THE COACHING INSTITUTE Credentialed Practitioner of Coaching More on Goals Central to coaching is what the client is going to do differently, more of, less of and what action they will take that will precipitate the change they seek. This means you need to ask at the end and during the session Would you like to do that? Is that something you would like to commit to? Explored more fully in Getting Started Sometimes when a client commits to a goal or course of action, there will be some underlying fears they will need to deal with, and they may not even be aware of them. Sometimes there is secondary gain a benefit derived from not changing that needs to be dealt with also. The path needs to be reasonably clear of these obstacles for the client to success in achieving their goals. Fears A fear does not have to be rational, or even reasonable. If it s real for the client, then that is enough for it to need dealing with. If you notice hesitance in the client around a commitment, ask Is there something around this we need to look at? Notice the question is open enough that the client can share anything that comes up as a result, rather than just sharing a fear. Maybe their uncertainty was a new awareness of just how powerful they truly are, rather than fear, so don t imagine hesitance is always fear. Sometimes it will be fear. Ask Can we look at how to best resolve this in your mind? or How do you see yourself moving through this / letting this go / managing this? Another way to assist the client is to ask the Cartesian co-ordinate questions What will happen if you do this? What won t happen if you do this? What will happen if you don t do this? What won t happen if you don t do this? The section on Beliefs in the Advanced Skills manual offers more insights into this topic 8

9 MODULE 2 PERSONAL MASTERY More on Goals Secondary gain Secondary gain is a payoff or benefit that the client perceives (consciously or unconsciously) they get from continuing a course of action or non-action. It can sometimes lead to selfsabotaging behaviour. For example, the client really wants to go for the promotion, and arrives late to all the interviews. They say they really want it, but coaching reveals that they feel safer not getting the promotion, and they actually feared the consequences of all the extra responsibility. A good insight to share with a client is We all do what works for us on some level. Everything. THE CLIENT WILL OFTEN SAY BUT THIS DOESN T WORK! PERSIST. Have certainty that we all do what works on some level. Every action and choice gives us something that we believe we need. Often a choice to not act looks like laziness, and it is inevitably due to fear of change, and the secondary gain is that they get to stay safe through not changing. Share this insight with clients where it is relevant. It adds a new level of awareness to their understanding of why they do what they do. So many people get trapped and caught up in trying to figure out why they do what they do, and why they didn t do something, and why they sabotaged something you can save they a whole lot of thinking! For many clients, it s a relief to realise that their choices were for a positive intention to protect them. Ask your client Now that you know you were only wanting to keep yourself safe, what real risk is there in taking this course of action? Generally, there is little real risk at all. For more on this, look at the pain pleasure model for creating leverage. 9

10 THE COACHING INSTITUTE Credentialed Practitioner of Coaching Alternative choices Sometimes there is a number of choices the client needs/wants to make. The simple perception of too many choices can hamper progress for the client. To assist the client to decide, ask them to make smaller decisions and commit to smaller actions, rather than the all or nothing approach which many clients think they need to do. ALL OF NOTHING TENDS TO RESULT IN NOTHING HAPPENING, BECAUSE THE ALL SEEMS SO BIG AND DIFFICULT TO ACHIEVE. For more on this, see the Kaizen section in the Advanced Skills manual. Brainstorm with the client the various options and have them prioritise them in order of importance. Importance can be assessed on time, desire, urgency, benefits to the client, benefits to others, short term gain, medium and long term gain, and how the desired choices fit into the broader context of the client s life and vision. Often the choice becomes clearer once they focus on what is most in alignment with their values. It can also be assisted by choosing based on importance and urgency, rather than just importance. Another approach is to have the client make small commitments to action in a number of different priorities, so they can get a sense of progress across different areas of their life. This can be rewarding, if they can do it, because they begin to collect reference points for success and that means successfully acting becomes easier as they go along. Don t dismiss any choice because you don t see its relevance. It s your client s perception of importance and urgency that counts. Check in for obstacles that may occur, either in the client s thoughts or in reality. This is covered in the DARE Model. If you see something that could benefit the client, and they haven t noticed it, share it with an easy and relaxed tone, so they are free to reject it if they don t see it fit it in. learn to let go of strong attachment to your suggestions, and that way the client will be more willing to consider them! If you see a clear pathway the client has not considered, share it by saying something like I m wondering if this approach is a possibility as we go forward If you see a bigger picture they haven t considered, share with them I m wondering how this might fit in with your goal of owning your own business in the next few months 10

11 MODULE 2 PERSONAL MASTERY More on Goals Distractions when goal setting The client will sometimes have a goal setting strategy that includes throwing everything into the pot, including the irrelevant, and wondering why they don t act! They include everything from their childhood, a chance conversation, stuff that s got them busy in work rather than getting caught up in this clutter, be a guide for your client by assisting them to focus on what counts. What do we need to consider when making this one decision? What can we leave out? How can we narrow our focus? What s distracting us? What s the top three important parts of this decision? What would someone who had already done this focus on? What could you leave out? Invite your client to notice their strategy of overwhelming their senses with all the noise and encourage them to design and use a simply strategy in the coaching session itself. By them trying it on in the session, they will have evidence of clear thinking and its benefits, and thus be more likely to want to do it again. The more they practice this clear thinking in the sessions with you, with encouragement and feedback and guidance, the more likely they will be to have positive experiences of this strategy when they go and apply it in their everyday life. Stretch your client when they attempt this, even if they are uncomfortable. Anything new, unless we are practiced experiencing new, will feel uncomfortable. This is normal and you need to be certain than their doubt about the effectiveness of trying something new. 11

12 THE COACHING INSTITUTE Credentialed Practitioner of Coaching EXPLORING BELIEFS 12

13 MODULE 2 PERSONAL MASTERY More on Goals Exploring Beliefs Overview In this section the participant will explore Beliefs and their role in creating transformation Training delivery Class discussion Ongoing demonstrations through live coaching demonstrations Advanced Skills Training Face-to-face training DVDs Ongoing demonstrations through live coaching demonstrations THE COACH WILL Major learning outcomes Be able to identify a client s limiting beliefs Understand how to challenge limiting beliefs Recognise language patterns that limit possibilities and choices Know how to ask questions that reveal information needed for maximum benefit for the client Improve even more their ability to communicate directly and effectively with their client 13

14 THE COACHING INSTITUTE Credentialed Practitioner of Coaching Introduction Our beliefs are feelings of certainty about what something means and they can either support us or hold us back. The meaning we give to our lives and to the world around us is linked to the beliefs that we have held onto, sometimes for decades (even when they no longer support us). PERCEPTION IS PROJECTION Our beliefs govern how we perceive the world Our beliefs are feelings of certainty about what something means. Our beliefs govern how we perceive the world. Our beliefs create our world. Every belief is made up. If beliefs are not reality, why not make up beliefs that will support us as we go about creating ideal lives? Beliefs are based on past experience. They can either move us forward or hold us back. They are judgements about competencies, worth, acceptability, strength, weaknesses, etc. The meaning we give our lives and the world around us is linked to the beliefs that we have held onto, even when the beliefs do not support us. We behave in a certain way as a result of our beliefs and based on this, we send out messages to the world. In coaching we need to be aware of any limiting or self-destructive beliefs that the client may be holding onto. Most people hold beliefs that do not serve them, yet are unaware of this. 14

15 MODULE 2 PERSONAL MASTERY More on Goals LISTEN FOR NEGATORS... That always happens. I never get it right. This won t work. This is hard. Why can t I do it? This should happen. TRY Clues to limiting beliefs To find out what a client s beliefs are, be aware of the language they use. If someone says, I always you are about to discover a belief! Anthony Robbins discusses the three beliefs to lasting change as keys to lasting change in his book Unlimited Power. A. IT MUST CHANGE NOW B. I MUST CHANGE NOW C. I CAN CHANGE NOW 15

16 THE COACHING INSTITUTE Credentialed Practitioner of Coaching Ladder of Inference: I take action based on my beliefs I adopt beliefs about the world I draw conclusions I make assumptions based on the meanings I give I add meanings (personal & cultural) I select data from what I observe I observe data & experience Taken as a whole, how we process information and assign it meaning, represents an internal framework or structure that is often triggered by a situation. By exploring this framework, we can learn how someone processes information. By understanding this, we can understand their world and thus build rapport. Go online to your Membership Area and download the electronic version of this. NAME: LADDER OF INFERENCE 16

17 MODULE 2 PERSONAL MASTERY More on Goals Model for Beliefs Beliefs about who we are, what we are capable of, how people will behave and how the world works, determine a large extent how we will live our lives. Our actions are the tip of the iceberg what is happening underneath the water, out of sight, are the beliefs that determine these actions. The question to ask your client is Does that belief assist you in creating the desired outcome? If the answer is no, ask, What belief would? Every belief we have is made up. We make it up based on prior experiences, what we are told, what we see and what we feel. No two people will assign exactly the same belief to a situation. If it is all made up, why not create a set of beliefs that will support us as we go about creating our ideal lives? Does this belief serve you? The model we use is: Does your belief support you in the attainment of your goals? Does this belief nurture you mentally, emotionally and spiritually? Does this belief challenge you to achieve the next level of your success? Is your belief going to sustain you as you go about building your ideal life or business? Coach Tip Include the exploration of beliefs with your client as often as possible. If you are coaching in a business environment, use the word thoughts instead of beliefs. 17

18 THE COACHING INSTITUTE Credentialed Practitioner of Coaching The questions to ask to discover the client s beliefs: What do you believe will happen? What has happened before? How do you decide what action to take? What do you think other people do? What did you focus on to come to that conclusion? Questions to shift client beliefs: Will that belief assist you in creating your desired outcome? Is it a belief you need to keep? If you didn t keep it, what could you replace it with? What belief do you think someone else might have in this area? What would you think you could tell a valued friend to believe about this? What belief would serve, support, nurture and challenge you? What belief will sustain you throughout this journey? If you were to create a new belief around this area that was fun and made you laugh, what could it be? Go online to your Membership Area and download the electronic version of this. NAME: QUESTIONS TO CHALLENGE BELIEFS 18

19 MODULE 2 PERSONAL MASTERY More on Goals TIME TO CHECK BACK IN ON YOUR OWN BELIEFS. Have you created the new beliefs from the exercises in the earlier section? Write your answers to these beliefs without referring to the notes you made previously. 1. I always 2. I never 3. I can t 4. I can 5. I am 6. They are 7. We are 8. I must 9. Life is 10. My life is 11. My business is 12. Relationships are Create six beliefs for yourself which will serve, support, nurture, challenge and sustain you as you learn to be an outstanding coach. POSSIBLE BELIEFS FOR BECOMING AN OUTSTANDING COACH: There is always something to be learnt from every situation. Being willing to have a go is all it takes. My willingness to learn and grow will free my clients to do the same. When my back is to the wall, the best in me comes out. There is always a way to turn it around. I am willing to be wrong. I am willing to make mistakes. 19

20 THE COACHING INSTITUTE Credentialed Practitioner of Coaching The Be When Coaching The GROW model explores what we can DO to move ourselves forward. It does not allow room to explore who we need to BE to create change. Who do we need to be to create the transformation we desire? This question focuses on what we can control and influence, and allows us to explore our beliefs about a situation. For example, if a client says they want to try cooking, or you hear uncertainty, ask: What are your beliefs about cooking? Often what we hear a client say try there is as fear. To move a client past this fear, you could ask: What would happen if you did it, rather than tried to do it? Would it be a different place if you did it, rather than tried? OTHER GREAT QUESTIONS TO ASK ARE: Who do you need to be in this moment? What do you need to believe to get this done? What beliefs would serve, support, nurture and challenge you right now? How is this belief going to sustain you? If you were to discuss this with your daughter/son/friend, what would you want them to believe? Belief questions are used to get the client to think in new ways. A great way to cement or anchor a belief is to notice the moment the client shifts their thinking and create a new belief and then acknowledge them immediately for the step. That sounds amazing, Sam. You sound as if you like this new place. Well done. What belief would serve, support, challenge and nurture you, right now? 20

21 MODULE 2 PERSONAL MASTERY More on Goals ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS TO CHECK YOUR UNDERSTANDING: 1. An empowering belief is a belief which: 2. A disempowering belief is a belief which: 3. An example of an empowering belief about connecting with people is: 4. An example of a disempowering belief about forming a relationships is: 21