Verbal De-Escalation Techniques:

Transcription

1 Verbal De-Escalation Techniques: Stepping Back from the Edge

2 4 5 What is Conflict? Behavior in which interdependent parties disagree with or oppose the thoughts, feelings, and/or actions of the other A disagreement in which the parties involved perceive a threat to their individual needs, interests or concerns 6 LEM/CRS Training

3 What is a Behavioral Crisis? A crisis is a perception of an event or situation as an intolerable difficulty that exceeds the resources and coping mechanisms of the person Unless the person obtains relief, the crisis has the potential of getting out of control 7 What Is Verbal De-escalation? Verbal de-escalation is used during potentially dangerous, or threatening, situation in an attempt to prevent persons from causing harm to us, themselves, or others 8 Asheville-Buncombe Technical Community College Ways of Conflict Resolution Violence/War Marches/Demonstrations Courts Arbitration Mediation Negotiation 9 LEM/CRS Training

4 Why is Conflict Resolution Important in Animal Services Officer Safety Interpersonal Skills De-Escalation Decrease assistance from PD Another Tool 10 LEM/CRS Training 2011 Why is Conflict Resolution Important in Animal Services Professional Skill Building and Problem Solving Customer Service Positive Community Relations Promotes Professional and Positive Interactions Between ACO and Citizen Officer Seen as a Resource 11 LEM/CRS Training 2011 Why is Conflict Resolution Important in Animal Services Enhances Community Policing Programs and Mission Officer is now the insider (Trust) Community Empowerment Community Control of Process GVC 12 LEM/CRS Training

5 How Do People Deal With Conflict Compete Hard Bargaining Collaborate Working Together Compromise Splitting the Difference Accommodate Kill with Kindness Avoid Leave it Alone 13 LEM/CRS Training 2011 How we Should Respond Style Compete Collaborate Compromise Accommodate Avoid Response Dictate Solution, arrest/uof Problem Solving with Parties Warning and Agreement to Stop Contact with no Action No response 14 LEM/CRS Training 2011 Behavioral Crisis 3 reasons that a someone may be having a behavioral crisis: Medical condition Substance use Psychiatric condition: 1) thought disorder; 2) mood disorder; 3) anxiety disorder; 4) personality disorder 15 Asheville-Buncombe Technical Community College 5

6 Behavioral Crisis? Crisis intervention is emotional first aid which is designed to assist the person in crisis to return to normal functioning. The focus of crisis intervention is what s happening here and how! 16 Asheville-Buncombe Technical Community College Avoid Maintaining continuous eye contact Crowding or cornering the consumer Touching unless you ask first or it is essential for safety Letting others interact simultaneously with the party Negative thoughts ( Crazy cat lady ) 17 Asheville-Buncombe Technical Community College Avoid Expressing anger, impatience or irritation Inflammatory language ( You are acting crazy. ) Feeling as though you have to rush or feeling like you are stuck if it takes time to get the consumer talking Intervening too quickly or trying too hard to control the interaction by interrupting or talking over the consumer. 18 Asheville-Buncombe Technical Community College 6

7 Avoid Saying You need to calm down. Shouting or giving rapid commands Arguing with the consumer Taking the words or actions of the consumer personally Lying, tricking, deceiving, threatening the consumer to get her to comply 19 Asheville-Buncombe Technical Community College Avoid Asking why questions. Why questions are logic-based. Persons in crisis are not logical. Typically, what ever has worked in the past in not working now. Why questions put the citizen on the defensive. ASK OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS 20 Asheville-Buncombe Technical Community College Avoid Minimizing the person s situations as a way to elicit conversation (Things can t be that bad, can they?) Suggesting things will get better; they may not Making promises that you may not be able to keep Telling the person I know how you feel. 21 Asheville-Buncombe Technical Community College 7

8 Avoid 22 DO Speak in a calm, slow, clear voice You may need to repeat; the consumer may be distracted Be patient; give the situation time; time is on your side Try to reduce background noise and distractions Use and instead of but Obtain relevant information from informants 23 Asheville-Buncombe Technical Community College DO Allow the consumer to ventilate Tell me some more about that. Use please and thank you often Remain friendly but firm Ask the consumer if she needs something Forecast: Announce your actions and movements 24 Asheville-Buncombe Technical Community College 8

9 DO Accept the consumer s feelings, thoughts and behavioral; acceptance is not easy when a consumer is behaving in a bizarre or hostile manner Respect the dignity of the consumer without regard to sex, race, age, sexual orientation 25 Asheville-Buncombe Technical Community College Respectful, Professional, Laughter! Steer clear of the cliché sayings Do you know why I pulled you over? Do you have any idea how fast you were going 27 9

10 I would say, as if I knew you Good morning, how are you? Now you re not thinking about anything negative The first thing the person says is, I m fine That sets the tone. Now explain why you are talking with them 28 Leave no room for argument Let them know the city has a leash law and you saw them playing fetch, etc Explain you have paperwork to complete Ask for ID 29 Leave the Drama at Home Everyone has bad days We all have them, but they shouldn t interfere with your work You can pass your bad mood on 30 10

11 Don t Get Roped in People will say some horrible things to you DOG CATCHER, RENTACOP, WANNA BE COP I don t let negative people draw me into an argument. If they want to argue, I shorten the conversation, hand them their citation, and get out of there. 31 Simmons was on patrol with a partner once and watched the conversation escalate between the other officer and a motorist. After a verbal back-and-forth, the frustrated officer blurted out, You re going to piss me off. I told him, You lost the battle right there. That s all she wanted to hear. The motorist complained, and sure enough, the officer was written up. Your work speaks for itself 32 Hot Buttons People will sometimes push hot button We all have them Example: Person calls you DOG CATCHER This is not a time to react to the words Do not take person give your professional face 33 11

12 Logic of De-Escalation If you take a LESS authoritative, LESS controlling, LESS confrontational approach, you will actually have more control You are trying to give the person a sense that he or she is in control Why? Because they are in a crisis, which by definition means the person is feeling out of control. Their normal coping measures are not working at this time 34 Asheville-Buncombe Technical Community College 35 Introduction An introduction promotes communication Greeting Your name Your agency Reason for your visit 36 12

13 Name How many of you can have someone tell you their name only to have immediately forgotten it? Use their name early and often 37 What Are The Two Types Of Communication? VERBAL NON VERBAL 38 Appearance Body Language Non Verbal Communication Command Presence Uniform Hygiene 39 13

14 Communication Definition: The act or process of using words, sounds, signs, or behaviors to express or exchange information or to express your ideas, thoughts, feelings, etc., to someone else 40 Tactical Language

15 Verbal Judo vs. Verbal Karate Verbal Karate Unprofessional Express Personal Feelings Self-Referential Language - I - me Not in Contact Off-target Reactions 43 Verbal Judo Professional Use of Words to Achieve Professional Objectives In Contact with Audience Skillful Communication That is On-Target Redirection Law enforcement situations have the potential for getting out of hand. Knowing how to redirect a person s behavior with words is a officers most important weapon for keeping everyone safe Active Listening Skills EMOTIONAL LABELING PARAPHRASING AND SUMMERIZING REFLECTING/MIRRORING MINIMAL ENCOURAGERS AND BODY LANGUAGE EFFECTIVE PAUSES(SILENCE) I MESSAGES OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS 45 Source: Crisis Company 15

16 Emotional Labeling WITHOUT JUDGEMENT, IDENTIFY WHAT THE SPEAKER IS FEELING YOU SOUND.. YOU SEEM I HEAR.. If I were in your situation, I think I d feel Source: Crisis Company Paraphrasing And Summarizing PUT THE MEANING OF THE SPEAKERS CONVERSATION INTO YOUR OWN WORDS. PARAPHRASING: SO YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR NEIGHBOR IS RUDE TO YOU? SUMMARIZING: SO YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR NEIGHBOR IS RUDE TO YOU BEAUSE HE CURSES AT YOU WHEN YOU ASK HIM TO BRING HIS DOG INSIDE. 47 Source: Crisis Company Paraphrasing Examples What I hear you saying is.... If I am hearing you right.... Let me see if I understand what you are saying... These types of statements also summarize what has been said in the communication

17 The Art of Paraphrasing You Can Interrupt And Not Generate Resistance No One Will Listen Harder Than To His OWN Point of View It Creates Empathy - The Other Will Believe You Are Trying To Understand It Often Makes The Other Modify Their Initial Statement After Hearing Their Meaning In Different Words 49 Summarize Creates Decisiveness & Authority Reconnects Communication When Temporarily Interrupted Checks on Understanding Improves Memory Retention 50 Minimal Encouragers and Body Language USE BRIEF, POSITIVE PROMPTS AND GESTURES TO SHOW YOUR INTEREST. UH-HUH..RIGHT OK..ETC. 51 Source: Crisis Company 17

18 Minimal Encouragers Minimal encouragers are brief statements that can be either nonverbal, such as a positive nod of the head, or simple verbal responses such as Okay, Uhhuh, I see, I am listening. Minimal encouragers demonstrate to the consumer that you are listening and paying attention, without stalling the dialogue or creating an undue interruption. Especially early in the encounter, consumers need these types of encouragers to feel that the officer is really attending to them and listening to what they are saying. 52 Reflecting/Mirroring REPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDS REPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDS REPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDS REPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDS REPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDS REPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDS REPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDS REPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDS REPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDS REPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDS REPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDS REPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDS 53 Source: Crisis Company Reflecting Whereas minimal encouragers provide initial confirmation that you are listening, reflecting adds another dimension to the communication. Here, you provide the consumer with evidence that you are listening by actually repeating what he or she has said. Often the reflecting response will simply consist of the last few words the consumer says. These statements should be brief and used in such a way as not to interrupt the consumer

19 Effective Pauses(silence) DELIBERATELY PAUSE AT KEY POINTS FOR EMPHASIS. ALLOW FOR COMFORTABLE SILENCE TO SLOW DOWN THE EXCHANGE 55 Source: Crisis Company I Messages WITHOUT TURNING THE FOCUS TO YOURSELF, COMMUNICATE HOW YOU WOULD LIKE TO HELP. FOCUS ON THE PROBLEMS NOT THE PERSON. 56 Source: Crisis Company OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS QUESTIONS THAT INVITE A NON-SPECIFIC RESPONSE WHAT?, WHEN, HOW, TELL ME MORE ABOUT I D LIKE TO HEAR MORE ABOUT HOW THE DOG WAS Source: Crisis Company 57 19

20 Open-Ended Questions Open ended questions allow you to get more information Open ended questions enable us to assess the consumer s level of dangerousness Open ended questions allow you to assess whether the consumer is in touch with reality 58 Source: Crisis Company Difficult People A Difficult Person will always tell you no, the first time you tell them to do something, but somewhere around the second, third, or fourth time, when handled properly, 9 out of 10 will comply

21 The Traditional Goal of Professional Intervention is to GVC Generate Voluntary Compliance 61 5 Universal Truths According to Dr. George Thompson of the Verbal Judo Institute, instead of focusing on how people are different, we should focus on how people are the same. 1. All people want to be treated with dignity and respect. 2. All people want to be asked rather than being told to do something. 3. All people want to be told why they are being asked to do something. 4. All people want to be to be given options rather than threats. 5. All people want a second chance. 62 Why do people insult? Offensive/Defensive tactic 63 21

22 Types of Verbal Assaults Authority Profanity Personal Threats Family Safety Other Staff Members Physical Features Age Sex / Sexuality Skill / Competence Education Economic Status Religion ETC. 64 How To Handle Verbal Abuse Natural Reaction = Confrontation Vs. Studied Response = Deflection & Redirection I preciate that, but... I understan that, but... I hear that, but... I got that, but... I m sorry you feel that way, but.... Note: Combination Phrases Work Best 65 5 Types of Deflectors Funny Word Blocks Serious Word Blocks Polite Threat Word Blocks Mobilizing the Audience Word Blocks Sudden Assault (Time Out) Word Blocks 66 22

23 Funny Word Block Rules Quick Appropriate Not a Counter Punch Note: Must be delivered with the right face, tone, and body language with an non aggressive use of distance 67 Three Principles of Verbal Judo Say What You Want, DO What I SAY unless safety is threaten. I Have The Last ACT, I GIVE You The Last Word! REspect Vs. Respect. 68 Communication The Opposite of Talking Should Be Listening, But for Most People It Is Waiting Waiting To Interrupt! 69 23

24 L.E.A.P.S A basic tool for generating compliance L. Listen E. Empathize A. Ask P. Paraphrase S. Summarize 70 Listening Components Words Tone of Voice Facial Expressions Body Language Context of the Situation Distance / Positioning 71 L.E.A.P.S. Concept Empathize To See Through The Others Eyes Construct A Verbal Means To Relate To The Subject You Do Not Have To Agree Simply Understand The Others Perspective 72 24

25 L.E.A.P.S. Concept Ask (Five Types of Questions) Fact Finding General Direct Leading Opinion Seeking 73 Tactical Empathy Tactical Empathy refers to the active intelligence gathering of a professional investigator who is attempting to learn what a person is thinking in an attempt to learn how to generate voluntary compliance, cooperation, and collaboration. 74 Communication RESPOND To The Meaning, Never REACT To The Words

26 76 What Are You Saying ONE STUDY AT UCLA INDICATED THAT UP TO 93% OF COMMUNICATION EFFECTIVENESS IS DETERMINED BY NONVERBAL CUES 77 Effective Communication words we use 7% tone of voice 38% body language 55% 78 26

27 There are over 700,000 possible body motions we can make 79 Mind over matter A. Polya Voice 33-40% How you Say It If there s a contradiction between Content & Voice, which should you believe? 80 It s Not What You Say, It s HOW You Say It! I Never Said He Stole The Money 81 27

28 Tactical 8 Step Concept 1. Appropriate Greeting with Name, if Known 2. Identify Yourself / Assignment, if Unknown 3. Explain Reason For The Contact 4. Any Justifiable Reason For If Needed 5. Ask for Identification if Unknown / Required 6. Additional Information Wellness Check 7. Decision Stage 8. Appropriate Close 82 Crisis Intervention Concept Pre-Intervention Preparation 1. Calm yourself, autogenic breathing. 2. Center yourself, get focused. 3. Develop a strategy for intervention. 83 Autogenic Breathing Breathe in for a count of 3 Hold breath for a count of 3 Exhale for a count of 3 Repeat as needed, until heart rate is under control 84 28

29 Crisis Intervention Concept Crisis Intervention Format 1. Attempt to get person s attention. 2. Check on their perception of reality. 3. Attempt to establish a rapport. 4. Explain your perception of reality. 5. Move towards resolution. 85 Verbal Judo Street Maxims It s Not Enough To BE Good, You Have To LOOK Good & SOUND Good, or It s NO Good! Never Step On One s Personal Face! The Goal Is To Be RESPECTED On The Streets! People Are Like Steel - When They Lose Their Temper They Are Useless! 86 Why Someone Becomes Upset Not feeling heard Not getting what they want (or need) Not feeling important (just a number) Frustrated Confused All of the ABOVE! 87 29

30 Examples East Elmendorf Pit Bull impoundment North Chandler English Bulldog Attorney cited for a dog bite 88 Barriers to Effective Communication Barriers to communication are the things that keep the meaning of what is being said from being heard: Pre-judging Not listening Criticizing Name-calling Engaging in power struggles Ordering Threatening Minimizing Arguing 89 Be Water, My Friend Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend

31 Contact Daniel Ettinger Manger Eagle County Animal Services VP Colorado Association of Animal Control Officers