Managing Anxiety. A Handbook to help kids Cope with anxiety. Westport Middle School Sheri Teague School Adjustment Counselor 2014.

Transcription

1 Managing Anxiety A Handbook to help kids Cope with anxiety Westport Middle School Sheri Teague School Adjustment Counselor P a g e

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3 Emotional Regulation is the ability to enhance or reduce emotions as needed. Good emotional regulation includes the ability to: Recognize that you are having an emotional response Understand what the emotional response is Accept your emotional response Access strategies that allow you to reduce the intensity of the emotion when needed Control impulsive decisions 3 P a g e

4 Healthy Perspectives on Emotions Points to Remember Feelings are neither good or bad, right or wrong, feelings just are, they exist. You need not, and should not judge your feelings. There is a difference between having an emotion and doing something or acting out on a feeling. Feelings don t last forever. No matter what you are feeling eventually it will lift and another emotion will take its place. When a strong feeling comes, you do not have to act on your feeling. All you have to do is recognize it and feel it. Feelings are not facts. When emotions are very powerful they feel like the truth. For example: If I feel worthless then I am worthless. You cannot get rid of feelings as they serve important functions in your life. Be willing to radically accept your feelings. 4 P a g e

5 Healthy Perspectives on Emotions True or False 1. Feeling mad or angry is not good and you should tell yourself that you need to stop feeling that way. True False 2. Pushing another student because they bumped into you in the hall or yelling back at your friend because they spread a rumor about you is that same as feeling threatened, angry, or hurt. True False 3. Once you feel depressed you will always feel depressed. True False 4. When you feel angry you have to do something in order for you to feel better. True False 5. If I feel unimportant then it must mean that I am unimportant otherwise I would not feel that way in the first place. True False 6. You cannot get rid of your feelings and you must accept that you are feeling a particular way. True False 5 P a g e

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7 Using positive thinking to reduce anxiety and stress When you change the way you look at things, the things that you look at change. ~Wayne Dyer Anxiety does not always come from a particular situation or event but rather our reaction to the situation or event. The way we think about a situation often impacts the way we feel and behave. Thoughts that produce anxiety are often negative, self defeating, and/or distorted. Cognitive restructuring allows us to change distorted or irrational thoughts into more positive rational ones. By doing so, we are able to take control over our emotions and behaviors leading to more healthy reactions to various situations and events. We don t always have control over the situations that trigger us to be anxious. However, we do have control over the way we think about the particular situation or event. We must learn to accept the things that we cannot change, have the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. 7 P a g e

8 Stop and take a deep breathe What is the situation? What are my thoughts? How do I feel? Are my thoughts helpful? Am I jumping to conclusions? Am I exaggerating? Do I know it will happen? Is it really as bad as it seems? Is there another way to look at it? Are my thoughts helping me? For each thought, ask yourself. Is this true, accurate or rational? Negative irrational thoughts: 3. IDENTIFY the distortion and the negative belief of your thought 4. REFRAME the thought to be positive Negative rational thoughts: 1. PROBLEM SOLVE what is in your control 2. ACCEPT what is out of your control and focus on a positive 8 P ameaning. g e

9 Our feelings follow what we are thinking and negative thinking can send us spiraling into anxious or depressed states. Cognitive distoritions are a pattern of exaggerated or irrational thoughts which arouse negative emotional states. The following is a list of common cognitive distortions caterized as automatic thoughts. It is NOT important to identify which thought distortion is causing your anxiety but rather that you are having a thought distortion All or Nothing : Black and white thinking that is applied to oneself. I ll never pass this test. This always happens to me. I m ALWAYS last. Overgeneralization : Black and white thinking that is applied to others. My mom is ALWAYS late. My teachers just DON T like me. Disqualifying the Positive: Disregarding a compliment. Anyone could have done it. It s really not that big of a deal, everyone scores. Mental Filter: Focus is only on the negative so you never get to see the positive. You had a good day at school but you are stuck on the test you got one answer wrong. You won the hockey game but all you can think about is the goal you let up. 9 P a g e

10 Mind Reading: Predicting what another one might think or projecting you own fears onto another. He thinks I am stupid. My dad will be mad at me if I don t get on the baseball team. Fortune Telling : Predicting a negative future event without enough evidence. I will not pass this test. I am not going to make the team. I ll never go to a good college. Magnification : Doom or Gloom! Predicting a negative outcome that is catastrophic or exaggerated. I didn t get to study, so now I will fail the test. Because I failed the test, I am going to fail the class and then the semester. I will never get to make up the sememster grade so I will fail for the year. Emotional Reasoning: Assuming that you negative emotions are in fact how you really are. My mom is ALWAYS late. My teachers just DON T like me. Personalization: Accepting more responsibility for a problem or a situation than is fair or reasonable. It s all my fault we didn t make the championships. She failed the exam because of me. Labeling: Identifying a person as a negative characteristic. I am such a jerk! I am so fat! She is so annoying! Should Statements: The use of strong self statements, including should, ought, must, or have to. I have to go to the dance tonight. I should have told the truth. Replace with: I want to go to the dance. I will tell the truth. 10 P a g e

11 Perfectionism: Holding a person to an unrealistic standard. My room is such a mess. I can t believe I only got a 98 on that math test. Approval Seeking: Giving in to your own needs to gain the approval of another. Even though you really study more for you SAT s this weekend, you will stay after school to help with the play, make the costumes, clean the stage, and set up the props because your best friend doesn t want to do it. Self Righteous: Responding to a mistake by seeking revenge or punishment rather than forgiveness or learning. How dare she say that to me? Who does he think he is? I m not going to talk to you anymore because you didn t invite me to the movies. Woe is Me: The Eyore Affect! When you see yourself as always the victim in a given situation or event. No one else has to deal with all this homework! Why does this ALWAYS happen to me!!!! Fallacy of Fairness: Seeing a situation as unfair when right or wrong doesn t really apply. It s not fair I didn t make the team. I can t believe she got the lead part in the play. It s not fair that I got a detention. Distortion list was adapted from The Mind Body Connection Beth Williamson-Ruse LCSW, CEIS Relax and Be Well 11 P a g e

12 What is your evidence? Am I making an assumption that is accurate? Am I confusing a thought with a fact? Am I close enough to the situation to know what is really happening? Am I thinking in all-or- nothing terms? (I am ugly and everyone else is so pretty) Am I using ultimatums? (I should always give my friends money or they will not like me) Am I taking things out of context? Am I being honest with myself? What s the source of my information? What is the likely hood that it will occur? Has it happened before? How often? Am I assuming every situation is the same? (just because it happened last time does not mean it will happen again What is different this time?) Am I focusing on irrelevant factors? Am I overlooking my strengths? What do I want? Is this getting me what I want? Is this thinking doing me any good? How would I look at this situation if it was my friends situation? What can I do to solve the problem? What are my options? What are the consequences of my options? What difference will it make in a week, a year, or ten years from now? 12 P a g e

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14 A cognitive behavioral approach to managing anxiety This is a strategy used by Cognitive Behavioral Therapist that is used to identify our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. CBT therapists understand that by changing one s thoughts and behaviors, we can affect the way we feel. Use the charts on the next few pages to find out what is keeping you stuck and make changes in your thoughts and actions to change the way you feel. 14 P a g e

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17 Strategy # 1 Brain Channels Think of your brain as being like a television. You have three channels. All three channels display different messages and images or pictures. Just as your brain has different ways of thinking about various situations. You can picture situations and things in life as positive or negative. Channel one is the Sci-Fi Channel. This channel features dramatic, fantasy, fictional, and scary programming. On this channel you let things bother you and your thinking is irrational. People on this channel can get mad, worried, or upset very easily. Channel two is the Cartoon Network. This channel features silly, comical, action packed animation. On this channel you don t let things bother you and you have a positive attitude. Your thinking is clear and you have a good ability to handle what comes your way. You feel happy, content, and good about yourself. Channel three is the Discovery Channel. This channel feature educational, reality, documentary, and investigative programming. On this channel you are full of great ideas 17 P a g e

18 and able to problem solve difficult situations. You feel focused, calm, and confident. Now think about what you would do if you were watching a show that you did not like? Let s say the program was to scary. You would probably yell to your brother to get up and change the channel, right? Of course NOT, you would change the channel but you would not tell your brother to do it! Right! In a similar way, when your brain is stuck in a place that is not helpful, choose to change the channel. You are in control of your thinking just as you choose what channel you would like to watch. Example: Situation: You have a big test coming up in algebra. SciFy Channel: I know I m going to mess up. Cartoon Network: I know the test will be hard, but I ll do all right. Discovery Channel: I ll get with my friend who is really great in math. We can study together and I know I will be ready for the test. 18 P a g e

19 Strategy # 2 Relaxation Techniques The Big Sponge This relaxation technique involves imagining that you are a sponge. To squeeze out stress and tension, tighten up all your muscles and silently count slowly to five. Then relax all your muscles for a few seconds and repeat this over and over. As you tense and relax your muscles, you will wring out more and more stress and anxiety. Lemonade Image you are making lemonade by sqeezing out fresh lemons. Use a couple stress balls or imaginary lemons and tightly squeeze both fists. Squeeze to a count of three and then relax for a few seconds. As you squeeze your fists tightly over and over, your are getting rid of any stress or anger. 19 P a g e

20 The Big Balloon Imagine that your stomach is a balloon. Breathe in slowly through your nose and watch your stomach expand. Hold that breathe to the count of three, and then breathe out slowly through your mouth. One -Minute Vacation Imagine a favorite place or thing you like to do that is relaxing and enjoyable. Examples might be swimming at the beach, playing your favorite sport, reading a good book, or skiing down a mountain. Pretend you are there and imagine what it looks like, smells like, feels like, sounds like, etc. 20 P a g e

21 Strategy # 3 List Therapy Most of us can feel overwhelmed at times. Maybe you have too much to do or are having a difficult time figuring out how to do something. A project just seems too big to complete on your own. A good way to overcome general anxiety is to focus on one step at a time. Write a list of the steps involved to complete the task keeping in mind priority. What needs to be completed first, then next, and so on. Once your list is complete, turn your attention to just one step at a time and forget about the rest. This allows you to feel less overwhelmed and more in control. 21 P a g e

22 Strategy # 4 RASing Your Feelings There are three important steps to remember when it comes to regulating your emotions. To remember these steps we have come up with the secret code word RAS! R RECOGNIZE There are two types of feelings 1. Pleasant Feelings: happy, excited, loved, confident, hopeful You get the idea, right? Then there are 2. Unpleasant Feelings: sad, mad, frustrated, scared, guilty It is important to recognize or know what type of feeling you have. Ask yourself, how am I feeling right now? A ACCEPT There is nothing wrong with feeling a certain way. Everyone experiences different emotions at different times. This is completely normal. Therefore it is equally important to accept your feelings for what they are. Tell yourself, it is OK! S SHARE Talking to someone you trust about how you are feeling is a great way to raise your feelings. Feelings should never be kept inside. Think of someone you trust that you can share your feelings with safely and productively! 22 P a g e

23 Strategy # 5 Chill Out Plan A Chill Out Plan, or C.O.P. in keeping with our theme of secret code words, is another great strategy to use to help balance our feelings, especially anxiety. The more you use your C.O.P. the better you will get at managing your feelings. After a while, your C.O.P. will become automatic or more simply a habit. Use the ideas below or come up with your own ideas to develop your C.O.P! Ideas for your Chill Out Plan Talk to someone your trust Conflict resolution strategies Count to ten to calm down Positive self talk Scream in a pillow or use a punching bag Tense and relax your muscles Read or Journal Listen to music Take a shower Exercise Deep Breathing Take a one-minute vacation Draw or Paint 23 P a g e

24 C.hill O.ut P.lan List three to five ideas you can do to chill out when you are stressed P a g e

25 Strategy # 6 FADD Another Secret Code Word This is a great strategy to use when facing your fears. F ace the problem or situation. Never run away! A ccept or take on the problem or situation. Deal with it It s isn t going to just go away! D ecide what to do. Think about your options If you get stuck ask for help from others. D o it! Making a plan is great, but following through is BETTER! 25 P a g e

26 Strategy # 7 ANT Trap People often have thoughts that cause problems for them. Thoughts like, It s terrible; I can t stand it; Everything is just awful; etc. cause us problems. These type of thoughts bring about unpleasant feelings. If left unnoticed these thoughts can become a habit. And once again we have our secret code word ANTS which stands for Automatic Negative Thoughts. Automatic. Instant Negative.Bad Thoughts Ideas These thoughts happen over and over in our minds causing us unpleasant feelings. Like ants, they can cover you in no time and make you miserable. Instead of being miserable, set up an ANT trap. Catch those ANTs or Automatic Negative Thoughts before they catch you. Don t allow yourself to think in a negative unhelpful way. Instead practice replacing negative thoughts with good thoughts that can help you word through a situation and feel better about yourself. Take a minute to identity your ANTs and trap them before they trap you! 26 P a g e

27 Strategy # 8 Charting My Feelings Strategy # 9 The Three R s Strategy # 10 The Back Burner Strategy # 11 The Magic Button 27 P a g e

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29 Full Panic High Anxiety Anxious / Aggitated Minor Fears / Worry Calm Total Relaxation 29 P a g e

30 References Frank, K. (2011). The Handbook for Helping Kids with Anxiety & Stress. Chapin, SC: Youth Light. Emotions Charts- Laughing Helps. (2012) Retrieved January 13, 2014, from Healthy Perspectives on Emotions - MDJunction. (2011) Retrieved January 13, 2014, from Williamson-Ruse, B. (2010). The Mind Body Connection: Relax and Be Well. Group session presented at the meeting for Early Invention, Taunton, MA. 30 P a g e