EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE How to raise happy, healthy, and successful children

Transcription

1 R 8/31/17 EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE How to raise happy, healthy, and successful children MARC A. BRACKETT, PH.D. Director, Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence Professor, Yale Child Study ei.yale.edu inspired.fb.com ruler.yale.edu I ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. MAYA ANGELOU HOW H.S. STUDENTS FEEL EACH DAY Energy Top 3 Emotions: Tired Bored Stressed -4 Pleasantness HOW UNDERGRADUATES FEEL HOW EDUCATORS ACROSS THE USA FEEL 1

2 8/31/17 HOW PEOPLE IN THE WORKPLACE FEEL THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF STRESS GOOD STRESS (POSITIVE CHALLENGE) BAD STRESS (NO RELIEF IN SIGHT) Motivates us Promotes well-being Enhances performance Makes us physically sick Weakens the immune system Impairs performance EMOTIONS MATTER HOW TO CLOSE THE EMOTIONAL GAP ATTENTION, MEMORY, AND LEARNING DECISION MAKING RELATIONSHIP QUALITY PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH EVERYDAY EFFECTIVENESS Emotions Matter Mindset Infuse EI into training and everyday practices for all stakeholders Emotional Intelligence Enhanced Emotional Climate Engagement Relationships Health Decisions Performance EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE RECOGNIZING EMOTION RECOGNIZING EMOTION UNDERSTANDING EMOTION LABELING EMOTION EXPRESSING EMOTION Identifying emotion in oneself and others by interpreting facial expressions, body language, vocal tones, and physiology REGULATING EMOTION 2

3 8/31/17 UNDERSTANDING EMOTION LABELING EMOTION Knowing the causes and consequences of emotions, including the influence of different emotions on thinking, learning, decisions, and behavior Having and using a sophisticated vocabulary to describe the full range of emotions EXPRESSING EMOTION REGULATING EMOTION Knowing how and when to express emotions with different people and in multiple contexts Influences: Temperament/personality Gender, role, power Social norms (family/work) Culture (display rules) The thoughts and actions we use to prevent, reduce, initiatte, maintain, our enhance own (and others ) emotions MASTER STRATEGIES MEASURING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Breathing, Mindfulness/Self-Reflection Are you breathing and checking in? Positive Self-Talk and Reappraisal Are you paying attention to your inner dialogue? Self-Care Are you: Hydrated, moving (exercise!), eating healthy, sleeping enough hours, and building and maintaining positive relationships? Self-knowledge is limited, particularly in the domain of emotional intelligence. Our current focus is on performance assessments of EI 3

4 2012 Ruler Group, LLC 8/31/17 EI AMONG YOUTH PREDICTS HOW DOES EI DEVELOP? LOWER IN EI Conduct problems Aggressive behavior Hyperactivity/attention problems Risky sexual behavior Substance abuse Social deviance Anxiety/depression HIGHER IN EI Empathy Well-being Quality relationships Prosocial behavior Satisfaction with school Leadership skills Academic achievement RULER = EI INTO THE IMMUNE SYSTEM R District and School Leaders Our Center s evidence-based approach to social and emotional learning (SEL) Early Childhood Lower Elementary Educators and Staff Families Students Upper Elementary Middle School High School Training, Coaching, & Online Learning Community ANCHORS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TOO MANY RULES, NOT ENOUGH FEELINGS! Emotional Intelligence Charter As a class, we want to feel In order to have these feelings consistently, we will We will prevent and manage conflict by The Mood Meter How are you feeling? Take a Meta M ment Solve problems with The Blueprint We will create a full draft Charter for all of you to review. After everyone signs off, we ll create a large one that will hang in the district office, and smaller ones that you can keep for personal use. 4

5 8/31/17 ENRAGED ANXIOUS SURPRISED ECSTATIC ELATED USE POSITIVE SELF-TALK THINK ABOUT SOMEONE WHO INSPIRES YOU Energy WORRIED ANNOYED BORED DISAPPOINTED HOPELESS DEPRESSED CHEERFUL JOY CONTENT CALM PEACEFUL SERENE Energy LEAVE THE SITUATION PUT A DIFFERENT SPIN ON IT TALK TO A FRIEND LISTEN TO MUSIC TAKE A WALK DO A BREATHING EXERCISE Pleasantness Pleasantness Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom. VIKTOR E. FRANKL 5

6 R 8/31/17 META-MOMENT Key questions for Parents: What are my triggers? How can I activate my best self when triggered? What effective strategies can I use to manage my emotions? Ultimately, the question is: How can I parent through the lens of my best self? RULER MAKES A DIFFERENCE Students: Less anxious and depressed More developed emotional skills Fewer attention problems Better academic performance Greater leadership skills Teachers: More engaging, supportive, and effective EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE GOES TO COLLEGE This class gave me a sense of waking up from a long dream. I had this feeling of not actually being alive or here for many years and now I feel that I am out of my slumber. If I had to describe the way I saw my life in colors, before it would be a pale gray and now it would be a bright white. Almost as if I had a new blank canvas to put vibrant colors on, this workshop taught me that one can improve and detoxify oneself through putting attention and awareness on one of the most basic principles of living. Classrooms/Schools: More positive climates and less bullying IT S TIME FOR AN EMOTION REVOLUTION Emotions Matter Emotional Intelligence is real It s never too early or too late to develop EI Children are wired for good it s our job as parents to either nurture or neglect our children s emotional development There are tools to develop EI and enhance school climate Infusing EI into your home can help us to create a healthier and more productive and compassionate society THANK YOU marc.brackett@yale.edu WEBSITES: ei.yale.edu; @RulerApproach FACEBOOK: TheRULERApproach APP: moodmeterapp.com RULER TRAINING: mela.toro@yale.edu 6