For any Man or Woman Living with Mental Illness

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For any Man or Woman Living with Mental Illness Issue 21, September & October 2014 Editor: Jo-Ann Paley This is Me A Story of Resilience in Overcoming Self-Stigma By Katrina Tinman My name is Katrina

It was years ago that I was first diagnosed, but I didn t want to accept the diagnosis; I didn t want to believe it. I couldn t believe it.

1 For any Man or Woman Living with Mental Illness Issue 21, September & October 2014 Editor: Jo-Ann Paley This is Me A Story of Resilience in Overcoming Self-Stigma By Katrina Tinman My name is Katrina and I suffer from mental illness in my life. I bet you are not at all surprised by that, considering the medium. I just typed that and it sounds like I am saying I am an alcoholic. It was years ago that I was first diagnosed, but I didn t want to accept the diagnosis; I didn t want to believe it. I couldn t believe it. I was scared of the stigma and of, dare I say it, in a way of being just like my mother. Don t get me wrong. I loved my mother dearly in my ways, God rest her soul, but she had a mental illness and even I only sometimes saw the stigma instead of the full and beautiful person. It takes a lot for me to admit that information. This is something that I can t repair in my life; it s a burden I will always bear. Now, it s my turn. In a way, can it be called a Karmic Comeuppance? I have the stigma over my head and hate it. The condition itself, however, scares the hell out of me. The disorder in my head is not something that I am looking forward to for the future. I know there will be times when I am weak, but I don t like being weak. This is regardless of the fact that I ve already been weak before this point in time. Because of my denials, it took extra years before I received the help I actually needed. By received, I mean accepted. There was years of help offered, but I didn t know what to do with it. All I ever did was deny myself, deny, deny, deny. I still have, in many ways, no clues of my symptoms. See how I do it, even now? In retrospect, it wasn t the smartest thing I could do. The fact Resilience cont. on page 2 INSIDE Resilience......cont. page 2 Partners in Awareness...page 2 MSS Group Activities......page 3 MSS H.O.P.E.S. Group....page 4 Family Support Group...page 4 Voice Hearers Pilot Support Program.... page 4 Name That Feeling Support group for children page 4 M S S P e e r S u p p o r t G r o u p Schedule.... page 5 MSS Women s Program. Schedule....page 6 If you would like to send something in for this newsletter please your submission to: Karen@mss.mb.ca or send it to The Manitoba Schizophrenia Society, Fort Street, Winnipeg, Manitoba R3C 1C4 Message from the Editor We reserve the right to change the formatting of work received but we will not change the meaning of any work submitted.

Page 2 Resilience, cont. from page 2 that I still do it is beside the point. As a result of my denials of self and my truth, I progressed all the way to the point of becoming homeless.

2 Page 2 Resilience, cont. from page 2 that I still do it is beside the point. As a result of my denials of self and my truth, I progressed all the way to the point of becoming homeless. I plunged deep into a psychosis that lasted for quite some time in an on again, off again manner; not quite a love in life that keeps coming back. It was during these times, however, that I learned the most of myself and of people. There are those in this world who are the salt of the earth and that is the homeless population. I was sick in front of them, and they accepted me anyway. In this way, I was able then to finally make progress in accepting myself. It s now a continuing journey. Many times, I wish my mother was still alive to be with me on this whole new level. I am not certain why God took my mom away from me, but it became her time. Her decline was obvious and it does scare me as an example of what my ending will look like. The thing is, that will be down the road and it is my own road. If there is one thing I learned over the years, it s that I am not my mother or a clone of her or a twin with her. I was her daughter and that is a whole different role of distinction. For all that she might have been angry for my lack of understanding, along with likely frustration; I know she forgave me for all of it. I also learned that my mom left me quite the big shoes to fill. When I was in University, I learned of a concept called being a legacy. What this means is that you are someone's offspring and that person was part of an organization and you as that offspring, can therefore instantly become a member of that organization. No fuss. No muss. You were just in like Flynn. I learned this from being associated with the Greek organizations at my university. I never qualified for being a legacy to an organization during my university years. This usually made me feel bad because I so wanted to belong. Then I learned that truth about myself. I am a legacy of a different form to a whole different, lifelong grouping; I have a mental illness. I didn t see this as a club where I wanted to be a member. Growing up, it hurt in deep ways having a mom fighting mental illness. There were so many things I didn t understand, so many ways that I didn t appreciate my mother because of her illness. To be real about it, there were so many ways that I took her for granted and failed to respect her for what she deserved. I saw the outside look in on us and decided if my mom was well enough. They could take her away, after all, if she wasn t to their definition of wellness. There were the monthly visits to the medical centre, and her regular check in with her physicians. Was it because of my mother? Did I do something? Was it my father s fault? This is just the smallest description. There was just so much I didn t comprehend. Mothers and daughters are known for their relationships. There were plenty of times we didn t get along. There was one screamer of an argument, though, that most people don t have; I yelled at her that I wasn't her psychiatrist and she should take those needs elsewhere. All she was looking for, though, was a supportive ear to listen to her. At the time, she didn t even need her psychiatrist. This is a hard lesson I learned retrospectively. She just needed a friend and there really weren t many of those floating around. Learning of my mental illness just cut all that much deeper into my soul. It was the sudden turn about, the sudden about face. I judged my mother so harshly, yet here I was with a condition that she herself suffered. I was part of a group that sounded terminal instead of trendy. I found that it was like a Karmic reply. I m not like my mother in so many ways. I also have lessons to learn. I made one mistake though, and it s a pretty big one. I disrespected my mother my whole life because of a social stigma placed upon her by others. It is now a stigma I must live with for the rest of my life. It s not just the stigma either. I believe I am strong enough now that I ve learned better how to deal with the stigma. I am scared to death of the condition. This is a condition that is so intimate to you, far beyond that of a condition like diabetes or heart disease. This illness is in the brain, about how you think and how you act and react. It affects all the parts of your life and all your relationships. It s deep on the inside. How did my mother do it? For all those years where I wasn t the best daughter I am now learning yards of respect that I didn t have. I wish deep in my soul that I would have learned this lesson better, earlier. As it was, I wasted the last years of my mother s life with misunderstanding and fear. I wanted so much to not be like her, that I lost the joy of what she was in her soul. Then there were the last few years of my mother s life; they weren t pretty to watch. My mother s skills for holding onto her mind just slid away slowly and she lost all contact with reality. It was awful enough when she became a ward of the state of North Dakota, but another when she was in her last few years. One thing, I can now actually take a whole lot of inspiration from my mother. I am seeing with new eyes in retrospect all those years of my life. It just feels as if it was a lesson learned too late. Partners in Awareness A peer support group made up of interesting dynamic professionals with schizophrenia. Are you a working professional looking for a safe inviting environment to share ideas for living a better life with schizophrenia? Come join us! Meet new people and share your experiences. Receive support from those who understand! You Don t Have to Do It Alone! 4 Fort Street, Winnipeg Contact: Sponsored by:

MANITOBA SCHIZOPHREN IA SOCIETY ACTIVITIES Page 3 Members of the MSS Peer Support Group

summer including BBQs in Bonnie Castle Park and mini golf.

presentation by Joanne Baranoski, and a session on gardening.

, women responded by saying: Disability the constant coffee break meeting a friend and

travelling to Africa to see lions, elephants, monkeys and giraffes (Becca); going on a

Mountains (Joanne Baranoski); going to Niagara Falls and going on the boat that goes under

flowing over the falls, and visiting the Edmonton Mall to see dolphins, the water slides

At the Caring for a Pet presentation the ladies were asked to describe their idea of a

The answers included: a Lady Poodle by Ruth McLean, and she loved to read the cartoon,

3 MANITOBA SCHIZOPHREN IA SOCIETY ACTIVITIES Page 3 Members of the MSS Peer Support Group and MSS Women s Group participated in various Out and About activities throughout the summer including BBQs in Bonnie Castle Park and mini golf. Other activities included : A Writers group activity by Jo-Ann Paley, Caring for a Pet presentation by Joanne Baranoski, and a session on gardening. Thanks to Jo-Ann Paley for leading the Writers Group on July 3rd, and Joanne Baranoski for doing the session on Caring for a Pet. In response to the Writers group question, What was your ideal summer vacation?, women responded by saying: Disability the constant coffee break meeting a friend and watching Globe Trekker on TV (Margaret Schroeder); travelling to Iceland (Ruth McLean), travelling to Africa to see lions, elephants, monkeys and giraffes (Becca); going on a road trip to Alberta and British Columbia, hiking and camping along the way in the Rocky Mountains (Joanne Baranoski); going to Niagara Falls and going on the boat that goes under the falls to see the secret passage (Eva Harbour); going to Niagara Falls to see the water flowing over the falls, and visiting the Edmonton Mall to see dolphins, the water slides and visiting Banff (Marlene Wiebe). At the Caring for a Pet presentation the ladies were asked to describe their idea of a favorite pet. The answers included: a Lady Poodle by Ruth McLean, and she loved to read the cartoon, Pooch Café ; a dove, according to Shekinah Emmanual, because they are very loving and they are always rubbing noses ; and another lady likes cats because they are so loving and their purr is music to please her. Every cat has a different personality. People who attended the BBQ said: It was great. We had a good time and we appreciate having this time to socialize together.

Page 4 for young people living with psychosis and schizophrenia If you are a person between 15 and 30 and are living with psychosis and schizophrenia, or schizoaffective disorder, H.O.P.E.S.

4 Fort Street, Winnipeg First Tuesday of the Month 4:00 pm 5:00 pm Contact: the Manitoba Schizophrenia Society at 204-786-1616 FAMILY SUPPORT GROUP For families and friends of those experiencing

4 Page 4 for young people living with psychosis and schizophrenia If you are a person between 15 and 30 and are living with psychosis and schizophrenia, or schizoaffective disorder, H.O.P.E.S. or Hope and Opportunity through Peers, Empowerment and Support might be a place for you! 4 Fort Street, Winnipeg First Tuesday of the Month 4:00 pm 5:00 pm Contact: the Manitoba Schizophrenia Society at FAMILY SUPPORT GROUP For families and friends of those experiencing schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, and psychosis. Fourth Tuesday of every month Time: 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Multipurpose Room 2014 Schedule Sept 23 Oct 28 Nov 25 Dec 23 For more information contact or info@mss.mb.ca NAME THAT FEELING A support group for children who have a family member with any mental illness. For Registration Information please call Jane Tel: , ext info@mss.mb.ca

5 Page 5 Manitoba Schizophrenia Society 4 Fort Street Winnipeg, MB Phone: Peer Support Group Schedule September & October 2014 Meeting Time: Wednesday, 1:00 PM to 2:30 PM (Occasionally group start time may vary according to the program of the day.) Need to talk to someone about your life with schizophrenia, or schizoaffective disorder? Then consider attending the Date SEPTEMBER MSS PEER SUPPORT GROUP ACTIVITIES 3 Pet Care as part of therapy 10 Natural Remedies for mental illness 17 Medications and dealing with side effects 24 Beverley Grace & Margaret Elliot Speakers from MSS Family Support Group OCTOBER 1 Meet at FACES & visit Planetarium 8 Potluck Lunch for Thanksgiving 15 Alia Ruby, Director of Mental Health Services Speaker from Y s Connections YM/YWCA 22 Movie Day at FACES 29 Halloween Party IN LUNCH ROOM

6 Page 6 Women s Program Schedule SEPTEMBER & OCTOBER 2014 Meetings are held on Thursday afternoon from 1:30 PM to 3:00 PM at 4 Fort Street (FACES) although sometimes we go on outings. Any women living with a mental illness are welcome to attend. Occasionally we are out of the office for an activity so please call to confirm your attendance at SEPTEMBER ACTIVITIES 4 Writer s Group Theme What has made you smile this month? (This is your chance to enjoy short writing exercises and get positive feedback from other group participants.) 11 Games Day & Planning 18 Discussion about Mental Illness and How to Cope 25 Yoga OCTOBER 2 Potluck Lunch for Thanksgiving PLEASE NOTE: GROUP STARTS AT 12:30 PM THIS WEEK (Please call Karen at to confirm your attendance. If you are bringing something bring only enough for yourself and one other person.) 9 Writer s Group What are you thankful for? How do you celebrate Thanksgiving? 16 Speaker from the Manitoba Heart & Stroke Foundation Topic Women and Heart Disease 23 Arts & Crafts 30 Halloween Party at FACES Funded by:

A Warm Welcome to Joshua

For any Man or Woman Living with Mental Illness Issue 32, July & August 2016 Editor: Jo-Ann Paley A Warm Welcome to Joshua Joshua McNeil (picture d above) is the new Manitoba Schizophrenia Society Social