Sobriety in Stumptown

Transcription

1 Sobriety in Stumptown Portland Area Intergroup April NE 20th Ave, Portland, OR Volume 9, No News & Events Northwest Girlstock A Women s 12 Step Weekend In one of the most beautiful historic waterfront settings, La Conner, WA, in late April, for a women s 12 Step weekend, with eight top women speakers from around the country sharing their experience, strength and hope on each of A.A. s 12 steps. April Maple Hall 104 Commerical, La Conner, WA Triple Play An event focused on sponsorship, service and service-sponsorship. Featuring Anne M. from Oregon City, Anita B. from Milwaukie, and Madeline P. from Happy Valley. Lunch and desert included! April 16 th 11am 2pm Creator Lutheran Church SE Sunnyside Road Clackamas, OR Wild and Sassy Women s Day Thang The 16 th annual day of celebration and fellowship for all women in recovery, focused on a clear recognition of who and what we really are, followed by a sincere attempt to become what 1

2 we could be. (From the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions, page 52) Come and join us for a day of bonding and sharing with women in recovery! The event will include topic meetings, Recovery Pictionary, Countdown, Potluck Lunch, Speaker and Raffle. Will also include breakfast goodies, beverages and the use of the kitchen to reheat dishes. For the potluck, if your last initial is A-C bring a dessert; D-L bring a main dish; M-R bring a side dish; and S-Z bring a salad, fruit or veggie. If you have any questions, please call Sharon ( ) or Marci ( April 30 th 8:30am 2:30pm Sandy Community Center Pioneer Blvd. Sandy, OR Three Legacies Speaker Meeting The Portland Area Intergroup sponsored speaker meeting, focusing on three pillars of AA Recovery, Unity and Service will be featuring AA speaker Vernon G., from Kihei, Maui, HI. There will be information tables where you can find out about service opportunities, for both individuals and groups, such as the AA Hotline, Public Information, Cooperation with the Professional Community, Treatment Facilities, Bridging the Gap and AA in Correctional Facilities. Doors open at 6:00pm, and the meeting starts at 7:00pm. April 23 rd Doors open at 6:00pm Central Bible Church 8815 NE Glisan Street Portland, OR April Stories Step Four and the Fourth Tradition by Eric K., Sobriety in Stumptown Editor This month s newsletter submissions are focused on the fourth step and the fourth tradition. We re making a fearless, and thorough, moral inventory of ourselves. We re looking at the autonomy of our groups, without compromising AA as a whole. 2

3 Step Four by Kristen K. from Portland, OR I ve been sitting here trying to think of how it is I put into words my experience surrounding step four. Almost seven years ago, when I began working my first set of steps with a sponsor, I was a frightened woman who looked at the words moral inventory and was certain I would be able to tell some of my story, but certainly not all. Thankfully she was able to guide me through the path of trusting her while we worked steps one through three, and by the time I got to four, I was still scared, but I was ready. For years, I had been looking for a solution to the drink problem and coming into AA, I was pretty sure I was going to find the answer, I just didn t know the answer included me going through my history and telling someone else my whole life story. I mean, there were things in there I had hidden away for good because I was too ashamed of them and now I am being asked to tell someone?! As we read in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions on page 25, Almost none of us liked the selfsearching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. I was fine with the higher power concept, and I felt good about going to meetings and taking (some) suggestions, but the thought of telling someone all of my story brought about a fear in me which few things did. Because I had struggled with anxiety and depression for so long, because there were things I had done in blackouts, only to remember when coming to, and because I carried around so much shame for not being able to enjoy and control my drinking, I was mortified that another person would know me. The flip side of this coin is that I wanted so badly to believe I had this life stuff figured out, and that I didn t carry around resentment or fear. It really wasn t until I began to put pen to paper that I was truly able to see just how much I needed my pride leveled. I remember the first time I went through step four, I purposefully held back on something, something I was too scared to share with anyone. I remember reading in the literature that people drank if not completely honest about their lives. I finished step five in the evening and called my sponsor, crying, late that same night confessing the last detail I had previously decided would go to the grave with me. She just laughed and said, That s it?! Little did I know the demon I made myself out to be was not actually who I really am. Since getting sober, each time I take the steps again, I learn more about the person I believe I am verses the person I actually am. Nothing has shown me more about my reactions to the world, to self, and the way I respond to others the way step four has. Taking this step with a sponsor s guidance is an invaluable tool. I cannot say I always enjoy going through the steps, but the feeling of freedom and the peace of mind I have when done is the gift I always wanted, but didn t know was possible. Step Four by Maura D. from Portland, OR 3

4 Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. In my description of Step 3, I talked about how continuous determination and persistence will unlock the door to willingness. When I did my first fourth step, however, I was at a total loss. No amount of determination or persistence seemed to help me understand what I needed to do to work through step 4. My drinking hadn't damaged anyone's life but my own. I had a job, a place to live and good friends. But as I reviewed my life, I realized that I had told no one about my drinking and how I really felt. Drinking had weakened my self-esteem, raised my anxiety and lowered my morale. As I worked with my sponsor, I began to see how my lack of honesty had become a barrier between myself and the person I wanted to become. Not letting good friends know what was going on in my life was a problem. My fourth step allowed me to see these patterns as problems that weighed me down. I began to see that fear, anxiety, and depression were not who I was. They were a sign of imbalance in my life. As I delved deeper into my fourth step, I learned more about why I felt isolated, why I was fearful. In no way am I fully aware of the source of my anxiety and depression. And I may never know. However, I do know that if I'm honest with myself and talk with another about what I'm really feeling, I'm happier. I'm in more balance with myself and the world around me. I know that every time I work the fourth step, I learn a little more about who I am as a sober person, and who I want to be. Step Four First, I don't think there is a time frame for Step 4. I began it when I was ready and I finished it when I was done. However, I have always found that the sooner I do what is suggested in AA, and especially in the Big Book, the sooner I get the benefits AA says I can get. I did my first Fourth Step using a guide from a treatment center. When I got further down the path I realized it wasn't complete. I had read ahead in the Big Book and knew I would need a list for my Eighth Step. The guide, and in fact the Big Book, didn't tell me to do that. But I started over, using the Big Book only and making sure I included enough information to have that list when I needed it. I went through the section on the Fourth Step, with help, line by line, paragraph by paragraph. When I was done I looked back to see if there was anything I had left out, or that needed to be added. 4

5 Although I was and am an atheist, I have used the prayer that begins "This is a sick person" many times. It helps me to see that the other person is sick like me. It helps me to see how I can help. It helps me to try to look without anger. It helps me to put my will aside. I have only done one 4th Step. I continue to move forward using the 10th through 12th Steps, but I had to do the first nine Steps to get to the Tenth Step. The information I needed and continue to need to do this was and continues to be in the Big Book. Tradition Four I've heard it said that Tradition 4 means we can do anything we want. After all, we are autonomous aren't we? I think, though, that Tradition gives us, as members, and our groups a great responsibility. How can we know when our group conscience might affect other groups or AA as a whole? I attend a big, prosperous group. It contributes generously to all levels of AA service, including monetarily. Many AA members go to the meetings of this group. I'm sure some of them take their experience there out to their own homegroups. They also bring their experience as members of other groups to this group. I'm sure I do when I attend my own, more modest group. I believe there is a constant interchange of ideas and experience between all of AA and that, while we are autonomous, many of our words and actions do affect other groups and AA as a whole all the time. Responsibility. Monthly Business Meetings For details about monthly business meetings, contact the PAI Office at Or send your questions or concerns to 1212@pdxaa.com. Portland Area Intergroup (PAI): Business Meeting, 2 nd Monday of every month, 7:00 PM, 4524 SE Stark St. (Unity of Portland), Portland. Portland Deaf Access Committee: Monthly, 2nd Sunday of every month, 6:30, The Alano Club, NW 24th & Kearney. Dist 9: 1 st Wed, 6:30 PM, 24 th and Kearney, Portland Dist 10: Last Mon, 7:00 PM, Beaverdam Rd., West Side Service Cntr, Beaverton Dist 11: Last Thu, 7:00 PM, URS Club, Portland Dist 12: 1 st Tue, 6:30 PM, 12x12 Club, 7035 NE Glisan, Portland Dist 15: 1 st Wed, 6:45 PM, th St., Oregon City Dist 18: 1 st Sat, 9:30 AM, 215 N 6 th St., St. Helens 5

6 Dist 23: 1 st Tue, 6:00 PM, Emmanuel Presbyterian, SW Willamette Dr., West Linn Dist 24: 1 st Thu, 6:00 PM, 5441 SE Belmont St., Portland Dist 25: 4 th Tue, 5:30 PM, Immanuel Lutheran Church, Pleasant Street, Sandy, OR Dist 26: 2 nd Sun, 5:00 PM, St Charles Church, 5310 NE 42 nd Ave., Portland Dist 27: 1 st Mon, 7:00 PM, SE Linwood Ave., St. Paul s Methodist, Milwaukie Dist 31: 2 nd Tue, 7:00 PM, 937 NE Jackson School Rd., Hillsboro Dist 34: 3 rd Sat, 5:00 PM, 485 Portland Ave., Gladstone Dist 35: 2 nd & 4 th Sat, 7:00 PM, SW Shaw St., Suite A, Beaverton Dist 36: 2 nd Thu, 6:00 PM, 2025 SW Vermont St., Portland Dist 37: 2 nd Tue, 6:30 PM, SW Town Center Loop East, Wilsonville Committee News We have several committee positions available. Portland Area Intergroup needs your help. Working on a committee is excellent 12th Step service work. If you are interested in being on any Portland Area Intergroup committee, send an to pdxaa.com with "COMMITTEE INTEREST" in the subject field. Or, just click on Service on the Intergroup website. Intergroup committees carry the message of recovery to the still-suffering alcoholic. Please help yourself and others. Sign up. Thank you. Bridging the Gap (BTG): provides a one-time temporary contact for people transitioning from a treatment center to AA meetings. BTG meets the second Monday of each month at 6:30 PM at the Portland Intergroup Office basement, located at 825 NE 20th Ave, Suite 200, Portland. "We Bridge the Gap so alcoholics leaving treatment don't have to walk alone across that scary gap between the beginning of recovery in treatment and the continued recovery in AA. Please contact the PAI office via phone, , or 1212@pdxaa.com, if you are interested. AA Hotline: The AA Hotline keeps the Portland phone number for AA active 24 hours a day, every day of the year. The way this is accomplished is by volunteer support. Calls to the AA number placed after Central Office hours and redirected to volunteers phones, keeping the volunteer s number anonymous. A volunteer can elect to go on a 12th Step call or just provide the information the caller needs about meetings. Commitments are generally two times a month. In particular, if you re a night-owl, we d really appreciate your help. Call the Central Office for more information at Newsletter (Sobriety in Stumptown): The committee for the very publication you are now reading is looking for members. Send an of interest to: newsletter@pdxaa.com Events: The Events Committee needs committee members. Send an to Events@pdxaa.com for more information. Get Published! If you have AA news, a meeting change, a big event, a story, a painting, a poem, or just a rant, Sobriety in Stumptown wants to hear it! Send articles of 1000 words or fewer to: newsletter@pdxaa.com Deadline for May issue: May 1st. 6

7 Step Four Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Tradition Four Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole. Serenity Prayer God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. -Reprinted with permission of AA World Services, Inc. 7