Personal Path to Pregnancy

Transcription

1 Personal Path to Pregnancy The Secret to Making a Baby Lies in Choosing What s Best for You - Traditional Strategies & Little Known Alternatives Doctors Often Don t Discuss that Help You Increase the Odds of a Quicker Conception By: Beth Kiley Personal Path To Pregnancy nd Edition All Rights Reserved 1

2 Table of Contents Chapter 1: Chapter 2: Chapter 3: Does Mother Nature Need a Nudge? Sizing Up the Situation to See If Your Fertility Is at Risk The ABCs of Conception How to Boost the Odds of Having a Baby in Your Immediate Future Are You Ovulating? Predicting Your Chances for Pregnancy While Minimizing Irregularities Chapter 4: Before You Turn to Your Doctor Traditional and Alternative Tips to Help Hasten the Process of Pregnancy Chapter 5: Chapter 6: Chapter 7: How to Influence Your Fertility With Your Diet What To Eat and Avoid When Infertility Is an Issue Dealing with the Tests, Emotions, and Outcome of a Diagnosis You Didn t Want! When A Condition Is Identified And What Does It Mean? 2

3 Chapter 8: When Medical Science Should Intervene A Look at Today s Breakthrough Technology for Increasing the Odds of a Baby Chapter 9: Conception Isn t One Size Fits All Mapping Out Your Blueprint for Making Your Dream Come True 3

4 Chapter 1: Does Mother Nature Need a Nudge? Sizing Up the Situation to See If Your Fertility Is at Risk When most couples decide to have a baby, they really don t give very much thought to how difficult it might actually be. It seems simple enough have sex make a baby. The truth is, both men s and women s fertility levels are on the decline today. It s quite possible that the trouble stems from the increased chemicals and pesticides in the foods we eat, toxins in the environment and the high stress levels of modern society. It seems that every little thing counts when it comes to trying to conceive a baby from what you eat to what position you have sex. Now I don t know your situation personally, but what I do know is that there s a mountain of information out there, and I think you should be armed with all the knowledge you ll need to map out your own blueprint to making a baby. It is your body, after all not your doctor s, not your best friend s or wellmeaning mother-in-law s and certainly not the acquaintance you met on the Internet who declared nothing else works but her method. Your Personal Present, Past, and Future Path to Pregnancy Every woman has a different story, and this guide will cater to women in any situation. Maybe you re just now considering parenthood and haven t even really tried to get pregnant yet, but want to be informed before you get started. Or maybe you ve tried every which way you know, and haven t been able to get pregnant yet after months or even years of trying. Before you give up hope forever, you need to get to the end of this book and see what s in it for you. Some of you reading may relate to my story of how my personal path to pregnancy was achieved. I was married at 35 and about a year later, we decided to try and have a baby. After getting pregnant fairly quickly, I lost my first baby in a miscarriage at around 4-5 weeks. Although I was very saddened and confused, I wasn t too worried, since many people told me that it was very common. I thought I was lucky because I got pregnant again so quickly. At 7 weeks I saw my baby s heartbeat on the sonogram. But at my 10-week ultrasound appointment, they told me my baby s heart had stopped beating. 4

5 I was devastated, to say the least. And that s when fear really set in. It took 3 more miscarriages before I was finally diagnosed with an immune related disorder that would require some treatments to prevent another miscarriage the next time I got pregnant. Imagine my surprise that my next step on the path to pregnancy was that I couldn t seem to get pregnant again. We tried, but nothing happened for several months. Depression set in, as I wanted a baby so desperately, and I was terrified of not being able to get pregnant again. The battle between depression and desperation raged on and I joined online support groups and shared in the camaraderie of other women s struggles and felt joy and jealousy whenever one of our own was able to conceive and bring a child into this world. While my desperation and frantic anxiety took root, it seemed like everyone else around me was getting pregnant. It was like it was in the water and I wasn t getting to drink from the fountain. This was devastating. So, I logged onto the Internet and devoured information, researching in every spare minute to find out what I could do to help me get pregnant more quickly. I researched on the computer every day. I read books, articles, transcripts, research papers and published medical reports. Long story short, I spent every free minute I had learning everything written on the topic of getting pregnant. I even had two expensive consultations with top experts in the field of reproductive endocrinology (fertility doctors) to try to find answers. And you know what? There s an absolute ton of information on this subject. It took so much time to simply sort through and make sense of it all. To separate the facts from the myths the new research from the old. The wive s tales from the truth. And even though I dug up all these buried resources, I wasn t sure the techniques would work. But within two months of implementing some of the techniques I uncovered, I conceived and carried my first baby to term. She was a beautiful baby girl and well worth the wait. And when we decided to try and give her a baby brother or sister, I conceived my son after only 1 month of trying. My husband and I took a very pro-active approach. I learned about all of these techniques in a desperate attempt to become a mother myself, and if it can help you in your quest to parenthood, then I m happy to share what I learned so that you don t have to waste time sorting through the mountain of information on the Internet. You have enough to deal with when trying to become a parent the excitement, the disappointments, the fear, the nervousness, or quite possibly the depression and desperation that I went through. This guide is meant to be a thorough look at all of the options that are available to you including dozens of strategies that people don t talk about and doctors don t seem 5

6 to want you to know about. You will learn about various ways you can do something on your own to improve your fertility and therefore maximize your chance of conceiving a child the fastest way possible. You have choices, and I m going to deliver them to you. When mainstream medicine doesn t help you, or when you want to know the most modern methods people and scientists have developed for getting pregnant, it ought to be easy to access, don t you agree? That was my goal in creating this guide, and I believe I have achieved what I hoped to accomplish in structuring it so that it s easy and informative and can help you bring your dreams to fruition. You won t have to waste your valuable time sorting through the endless, often conflicting information to learn what you can do to have your dream of a beautiful baby come true. ***What You Should Know About the Unknown*** There is a very important point I want to address before you get started. You need to know and understand this very important point. At the present time, there is still a lot about conception that remains unknown. When you think about it, it makes perfect sense, because if doctors knew everything there was to know about getting women pregnant, then the success rate for procedures such as IVF (in vitro fertilization) would be extremely high. The truth is, they are not. Even when the egg is fertilized in the lab and the resulting embryo is placed back inside the uterus where it is expected to develop into a baby, more often than not it doesn t work. And doctors do not understand why. Clearly this reinforces the idea that conception is extremely complex, with many variables that are still unidentified. The best we can do is use the knowledge that we have to improve fertility and therefore the odds of getting pregnant. And sometimes, there is disagreement among the medical community about what may improve or worsen your chances of getting pregnant. In those areas, I believe it is best to take a conservative approach and eliminate anything that even may hurt the chance of conception. I will touch on some of these issues in this guide. And my recommendations will typically be that when there is controversy among the fertility experts, it is best to err on the side of caution. In other words, better safe than sorry. Of course, you can choose the direction you want to take, as I will always point out when there is disagreement among the experts. You will be armed with the information and my recommendation and it is up to you to use the information as you see fit. 6

7 ***TAKE ACTION*** There is one more point I want to address before we dive in to the information that is equally important. As you read through this guide no doubt every reader will have a different amount of knowledge already in place about getting pregnant. While it will vary for everyone, each of you will probably come across at least some information that you already know. For some it will be more than for others, but I m quite sure everyone will learn enough to make a big difference in your ability to get pregnant. But here s the important point. The most important thing I can tell you is that you must take action to bring about a change. If you are reading this guide to help you get pregnant, it is not important what you already know or what you have now learned. The only thing that is important is that you do something about what you know or have learned. I have done surveys in the past that I have found shocking. Women who tell me, yes, I already knew that but when I ask, so are you doing anything about what you already know, all too often the answer is no. Learning about ways to increase your fertility are only helpful if you actually put what you learn/know into practice. Even if you read this guide and only learn a few new things (although I m sure it will be a lot more than that), if I can just convince you to take action on what you learned/know to make changes, even if they seem small and insignificant, that is the only way to have a chance at achieving your dream of creating a beautiful bundle of joy. Remember, many small changes can add up to a significant result. PLEASE, do not scan through this book looking for the magic secret. I know other guides promise you that, but it simply does not exist. There are MANY things you can do to optimize your fertility, and most often it is by making small consistent changes that when added together will enable you to bring about the result you desire. Desperation Is Your Best Ally in Your Quest to Get Pregnant Being desperate is no picnic in the park. Who wants to feel hopeless, frustrated, and anxious on a daily basis? While it was horrible to go through, it did make me well educated in pregnancy-related issues. Instead of making you go through the same process picking the minds of experts, talking to hundreds of women all over the world to see what worked for them I decided to just compile what I learned and give you all of the options available to help you make a baby on your own without budget-busting infertility treatments or years of waiting for it to happen. 7

8 Maybe you ve already been trying for several months or even years. Whether you re a veteran at trying, or a complete novice just now starting on your own journey to motherhood, this guide will surprise you and show you that there is always something new to be considered in getting pregnant. I ve personally tried many different methods, including the natural approaches (no boxers for the husband, no caffeine, tons of vitamins), traditional advice about how to combine Robitussin and water for improved cervical mucus, alternative options like acupuncture, and a long list of other strategies. Some worked, some didn t. Some worked for other women. Some might work for you and some might not. But the point is, you need access to the variety of techniques and strategies in an organized way so that you can put your own personal plan together. Getting pregnant isn t a cookie cutter issue it s not one size fits all. This book may have some methods you ve heard of before. But it s also sure to have some new information that s not widely circulated and that you didn t have before details that could be the very key you need to unlock the secret to having a baby. Will I Have a Problem Getting Pregnant? Most girls, when growing up, don t consider whether or not they ll be able to have a baby they just assume they will one day. Then when the time comes that they re actually planning it, they start to worry even if there s been no sign of a problem with their fertility. There are different levels of fertility. There are people who just happen to not be pregnant yet, and will greatly benefit from chapter 2. There are those who find themselves infertile after a year or more of trying to conceive. There s also primary infertility (infertility without a previous pregnancy) and secondary infertility (infertility after having already conceived a child), and sterility, which means you have no chance of conception. If you re wondering where you might be, you should know that 15-20% of couples in the United States alone encounter difficulties in getting pregnant. The causes range from minor issues like using a non-productive position during sex to a major reason, like one of the partners being sterile. Most women are worried because they are simply uninformed. Plus, there are a lot of myths floating around on the net and offline that cause a lot of unnecessary stress and anxiety. 8

9 Here are some of the many reasons why you and your partner may be experiencing trouble getting pregnant if it s been more than a year and you ve had no luck making a baby: Ovulation issues Ovarian cysts (PCOS) Sperm issues Endometriosis Blocked fallopian tubes Fibroids Stress Weight gain Of course this list isn t comprehensive, but it does include some of the more common issues that affect a couple s chance of conceiving. And unfortunately, many couples who can t conceive a baby after a year of trying, seem to have nothing medically wrong with either of them, and simply fall into the category of unexplained infertility, which is the medical term for we don t have any idea why you re not conceiving. Which raises a very interesting question. If so many couples have unexplained infertility, which means there is no obvious medical reason why they can t conceive, doesn t it stand to reason that there is a lot more to conception than the doctors know about? And then the idea that both men and women can make a variety of personal changes to improve their own fertility really does make a heck of a lot of sense, don t you agree? It is becoming increasingly evident that when your body is not in optimum health, or is overloaded with toxins, or is not given enough nutrients, the body's ability to reproduce can be dramatically effected. Sometimes it may just take an alternative approach a change in lifestyle or the use of alternative therapies for instance, to make conception possible. Conception is a miraculous and quite complex phenomenon undoubtedly influenced by many subtle internal and external factors. It stands to reason that we all have the power to make changes within ourselves that can maximize our fertility and make the difference in our ability to conceive a baby. 9

10 As you go through this guide and choose various options that are available to you, you ll learn more about what could be causing you and your partner a delay in becoming parents and find a solution to finally fix it so that you can look forward to your new bundle of joy arriving soon. How to Best Use This Guide If you ve tried to get pregnant for the last few months and haven t seen any results, that does not necessarily mean you ll need infertility treatments! There is a whole treasure trove of home and self-treatments you can do on your own before you even consider going to an infertility doctor for invasive and very expensive treatments. This information is not readily distributed, so you want to make sure you exhaust your options before shelling out big money to a specialist when it may not even be necessary. The first place we re going to start is with the basics. If you re new to this, then you definitely want to read it carefully to see what they didn t teach you in 8 th grade sexeducation classes! If you re a veteran, why not skim it over again anyway just to make sure there s not something new in it that you didn t know before? The key to your pregnancy may be a single sentence contained within chapter 2, and you don t want to pass it over. 10

11 Chapter 2: The ABCs of Conception How to Boost the Odds of Having a Baby in Your Immediate Future Some of what I m about to share, you may already know but there are always nuggets of information that you can apply that could very well be the answer to your hopes and dreams of parenthood. Formula for Fertility The path to pregnancy can be a bumpy ride. There are no guarantees and a million things that can affect your ability to conceive. Approximately 80% of women under age 35 get pregnant within the first year of trying. But for the remaining 20%, half will go on to get pregnant within two years after addressing some mild issues, while the other half will need medical science to intervene on their behalf. That s great news for you that means there s a 90% chance you can conceive on your own! That s what this guide is all about and to help you determine when is the right time to find out if you happen to be one of the 10% of women who need extra assistance. Your age will have a lot to do with your chance at conception. In a society where 20% of all first time moms are over the age of 35, more and more women are dealing with the problem of not being able to get pregnant quickly and easily. Odds of getting pregnant in a given month, by age: Early 20 s: up to 25 percent Late 20 s and early 30 s: up to 15 percent Late 30 s: up to 10 percent Over 40: less than 5% Number of women who achieve pregnancy within the first year of trying, by age: Early 20 s: 94 percent Late 20 s and early 30 s: percent Late 30 s: percent Average number of months until conception, by age: Early 20 s: 4-5 months Late 20 s: 5-7 months Early 30 s: 7-10 months Late 30 s: months 11

12 One thing I just want to point out in case you missed it. Women in their twenties (at the peak of their fertility) still only have a 25% chance of conceiving in any one cycle. That means, when put another way, there s a 75% chance you won t get pregnant in a particular month even when you are in your twenties and at peak fertility. It s important to point this out, because I think many women put too much pressure on themselves each month. They think that something is wrong if they don t get pregnant in just a few months. But as you can see from those statistics, it is perfectly normal for it to take several months (up to 12) to get pregnant. Surprisingly, even race plays a small factor in conception. African American women have a 10.5% infertility rate under 35 years of age, while Hispanic women have a 7% infertility rate and Caucasian women deal with 6.4%. Keep in mind that when we talk about numbers and percentages, they re just statistics. That doesn t mean your case will strictly adhere to any certain group or timeline. So often I hear women who are struggling to conceive complain, how come other women who are overweight or smoke, drink or use drugs, or don t even try, seem to get pregnant so easily, and yet I can t? No one is saying that if you don t follow the tips in this e-book, you won t get pregnant. It s not as if those habits are contraceptives, but they will reduce your overall fertility. So if you are having any difficulty at all, it s best to do what you can to maximize your chances. Anything is possible, and with the tips you learn here, you can increase your odds. Back to School All About Our Bodies When they first teach you this stuff, you re sitting in school taking notes on how not to get pregnant. But now you want the reverse lesson where are those sex education teachers when you need them? We all know what a vagina and penis are, so we re not going to get that basic with our crash course. But when you re dealing with conception strategies, you may need a quick refresher on other body parts, so let s look at how these contribute to your fertility. Your cervix is located in the lower part of your uterus and acts like a muscle to keep the baby from delivering before it s time. It also creates a barrier between your body and nasty infections that could harm your baby in utero. If your doctor diagnoses any cervix problems, it may be remedied simply by having the doctor suture the cervix with a cerclage. The uterus is your womb. It s an organ that holds your baby until it s time for delivery. It s lined with a thick endometrium, the blood lining that results in your period each month if conception doesn t occur. 12

13 Your ovaries come in pairs each woman usually has two of them. They re the containers your eggs come in! When you re born, your ovaries have about 1 million eggs in them. By the time you hit puberty, you have only 300,000 to 400,000 eggs left. At age 50, you only have about 1,000 eggs remaining. Some of these are abnormal eggs. Normal eggs contain 23 chromosomes, which are the genes that will make your baby who he or she is. Near your ovaries are two fallopian tubes. This is where your egg comes in contact with a man s sperm and hopefully, makes a baby! Your fallopian tubes are lined with fimbriae, which are hair-like fingers that move the egg along. His primary parts consist of testicles and sperm. The testicles are to his body what your ovaries are to your eggs they create and hold his sperm. Sperm are produced every day, but they mature after 90 days. It is very important to keep in mind that if there is any damage to the sperm from elements such as heat, illness, or toxins (to be discussed later), it takes approximately (3) three months for new sperm to mature and be ready to fertilize an egg. How a Baby Is Conceived Your menstrual cycle plays an important role in conception Here s the science behind exactly what happens during your monthly cycle. At the start of your menstrual cycle, your estrogen levels are low. Your hypothalamus (which is in charge of maintaining your hormone levels) sends out a message to your pituitary gland. Then, the pituitary gland sends out the follicle stimulating hormone (FSH). The FSH is what triggers a few of your follicles to start developing. One of these developing eggs will develop into the dominant follicle, which will then release one mature egg and the others will disintegrate. This is your ovulation. As the follicles are maturing they send out another hormone, which is estrogen. The high levels of estrogen will tell the hypothalamus and pituitary gland that there is a mature egg. At this point, LH (luteinizing hormone) is then released, and this is known as your LH surge. This surge causes the egg to be released in approximately hours from the surge. The egg will then journey into the fallopian tube where it will hopefully be fertilized by sperm that is waiting there. After the egg is released, it leaves behind a kind of shell which is called the corpus luteum. The corpus luteum is responsible for releasing the hormone progesterone, which is necessary to prepare the uterine lining for implantation of a 13

14 fertilized egg. The corpus luteum will continue to produce progesterone throughout the rest of your cycle (the luteal phase) and if you become pregnant, it will continue to produce progesterone until such time that the placenta takes over later on. If fertilization does not occur, the released egg will disintegrate and die within hours. Around days later, progesterone production will decrease, and your lining will be shed on what is considered day 1 of your menstrual cycle. When a man ejaculates inside a woman, he emits about 100 million sperm. Only approximately 200 of them survive to make it to the fallopian tubes and encounter the egg to try and fertilize it. Sperm usually live for approximately 3 days in a woman s body if the conditions are right, although it is possible for them to live as long as 6 days. The egg is viable for hours, however many experts believe it is probably closer to 12 hours. Given this time element, it is extremely important to get the timing of intercourse right. In fact, incorrect timing of intercourse is considered the #1 mistake couples make when trying to conceive. If you don t know when you re most fertile, you may miss the window of opportunity that could allow you and your partner to have a baby. When you and your partner have sex right before you ve ovulated, the sperm will enter through the cervix and swim up to the fallopian tubes. Approximately half will pick the right tube while the others will choose the left tube. The half that picked the correct fallopian tube (the side you are ovulating on) will have a chance at penetrating the egg. Within the next 24 hours, the sperm find your egg and surround it, each one trying to enter the protective layering. When one penetrates it, the others are locked out. The embryo then enters the uterus and hopefully implants itself in the wall. You miss your period and a baby is on the way! Timing and Positioning Your Sex Just Right First of all, it s important not to make sex a chore when you re trying to conceive. I know it s important to time it right and sometimes that means someone isn t in the mood. But it s also important to maintain the love between the two of you to lighten an already stressful time. If you are having any problems in this area, click here for a great resource that can help with your lovemaking. When timing intercourse, you must make sure you re near ovulation. Some women know this time just by tracking their own body functions and watching for signs (to be explained later). 14

15 Others need a store-bought ovulation predictor test kit. Chapter 3 will go into much more detail on ovulation because it s a vital part in your journey to pregnancy and I wanted to make sure I devoted a lot of insight into this topic. Here s an important tip...it is very important NOT to abstain from sex all month long in an attempt to save up the sperm for your fertile time. Try to have sex at least every five days during the time you are not trying to conceive in an effort to flush out the sperm. This will ensure that you have healthy sperm at the time when you really need them! If you re not up for intercourse, just make sure your partner ejaculates at least every five days to keep the sperm fresh. In order to keep sperm counts high, it is best for the male to abstain from any sex (or masturbation) for about 3 days before you start trying during your fertile window. Remember, that means you should not save up sperm for more than about 3 days before you start trying during those few days leading up to ovulation. It is important to have intercourse before you ovulate so that the sperm is waiting for the egg before it is released. You should have intercourse either every day or every other day through the day of ovulation. It doesn t make very much difference which option you choose (every day or every other day), unless you know that your partner has a low sperm count. If that is the case, the every other day approach is advised so you don t reduce the sperm count too much. If there are no sperm issues, do what works best for you if you re up for every day-great! If not, every other day is effective too. One of the most critical factors is knowing how many days before ovulation you should begin to have intercourse. Is it better to start trying several days before ovulation or is it best to start trying on the day of ovulation or just the day before? While most sperm will only survive for 2-3 days, if conditions are ideal, sperm have been known to survive for up to 6 days (in good quality cervical mucus). So it is in your best interest to start having intercourse several days before your expected ovulation date to ensure the maximum number of sperm are waiting for the egg to be released. However, because sperm can weaken over a period of days, it s not surprising that the highest chance for pregnancy occurs when intercourse happens two days before, one day before or on the day of ovulation. Statistically, the best chance for conceiving is on any one of those 3 days. Time of Day Time of Year Does It Matter? It s been established that sperm counts are higher in the winter months than in the summer months. This may be because cooler temperatures are associated with enhanced sperm production. It s also known that sperm counts are higher in the morning than other times of day. While there has been no evidence that pregnancy rates are higher if you have intercourse in the morning, if your partner has any issues with sperm count, you may want to give mornings a try. 15

16 Timing Is Critical Don t Make This Mistake Many experts agree that you have the best chance of getting pregnant if you don t wait until the day you are ovulating to have intercourse. Starting to try a few days early does insure that there are sperm already waiting in the fallopian tubes when the egg is released. So what about the day after ovulation? Well, the experts are divided on this issue. Since it takes several hours for the sperm to get to the fallopian tube after intercourse, trying to conceive on the day after ovulation may result in the sperm arriving when the egg is already beginning to disintegrate. In this case, it is likely that you would not conceive, but it is still possible. And if you were to conceive with an egg that may be past its prime, you may have a greater risk of miscarriage. As stated earlier, this is one of those topics that has some controversy. Some doctors advise patients to continue to have intercourse even after you have ovulated, in hopes that the sperm can catch up to the egg before it dies. But there are some experts that don t think this is a good idea for the reasons I just mentioned. So given this information, you can make your own choice but I personally would recommend not trying to get pregnant on the day after you have already ovulated to avoid the possibility of an increased miscarriage risk. Late Ovulation Is This Why You Can t Get Pregnant? While an ideal cycle is 28 days with ovulation occurring on day 14, for most women this is not their typical cycle. The fact is that different women have different cycle lengths, and one thing that you may not know is that how late you ovulate may have an impact on your ability to get pregnant and/or miscarry. Here s why Many fertility experts now believe that if a woman ovulates late in her cycle (day 20 or later), the quality of her egg may be compromised. In other words, late ovulation may mean poorer egg quality and also a uterine lining that is not ideal for implantation. Now that doesn t mean that you can t get pregnant if you ovulate late in your cycle. However, it is possible that a very late ovulation could make it more difficult to get pregnant or increase your risk of a miscarriage If you find that you are consistently ovulating this late in your cycle, then you will want to make significant changes in your diet and exercise program and add appropriate supplements as described in Chapter 4 to help balance your hormones and regulate your cycle. Doing so should help you ovulate earlier (before day 20) and improve your chances of getting pregnant. 16

17 Position Preference? To better your odds at conception, it s important to know which positions give you an increased chance at having a baby. Sexual positions and after-intercourse routines can be personal, but as with everything when you re trying to get pregnant, you might pick up a few tips you haven t yet tried to use! You d think it wouldn t really matter which position you had sex in to conceive a baby. But when you re trying for a baby, you want to do everything in your power to make thing happen faster. And gravity definitely plays a role. What you want is for your position during sex to offer the best way for the deepest penetration and contact with the cervix, while minimizing the chance of leakage. Rear entry is known among your veteran fertility warriors as being the best position for conception. Alternatively, the missionary (man on top) position and side by side, are considered to be optimal positions as well. Regarding leakage, here is a tip. Instead of your partner withdrawing after intercourse, have your partner keep his penis inside for as long as possible after his orgasm. This makes a good barrier and keeps the semen concentrated as close to the cervix as it can get. Another important tip has to do with your orgasm. Research has shown that if a female has an orgasm after her partner, the sperm get sort of sucked up into the cervix which helps to bring them faster to where they need to be going. It s sort of a little booster to get them going on their way into your cervix. And always remember, after sex, elevate your hips for about minutes by placing a pillow underneath your bottom, as this will help gravity get the sperm going in the right direction as well. Do not get up before that to go to the bathroom and especially do not douche. It should be noted that some women have what s known as a retroverted uterus or tipped uterus. If your doctor told you that you have this, do not be alarmed or concerned. Fertility experts agree that this shouldn t make it more difficult to get pregnant. However, because of the position of your uterus, you should probably alter the protocol described above for lovemaking. With a retroverted uterus, the best position is rear entry, and after intercourse, you should lie down on your belly instead of your back with a pillow underneath your hips to raise them up. Lubrication Generally the vaginal environment is very acidic. Surprisingly, the sperm actually need an alkaline environment to survive. So how do the sperm stay alive? What happens 17

18 is that right before ovulation, the cervical mucus (vaginal discharge) changes to the consistency of raw eggwhites and it is highly alkaline and therefore much more "spermfriendly. This allows the sperm to safely travel through the cervix. Before choosing a lubricant, realize that the very best lubrication comes from your own body. When you are trying to conceive it is especially important to increase foreplay, which will increase your natural lubrication and help the sperm to survive. However, if you still feel you need some extra help, you can follow these tips. Most store bought lubricants have a ph that is too acidic for sperm to survive and also contain other sperm damaging ingredients and therefore should not be used. This includes KY Jelly, vaseline, and baby oil. Some evidence is showing that canola oil and pharmaceutical grade mineral oil are sperm friendly, however it is still controversial so I wouldn't recommend it. There s only one commercial product recommended for helping lubrication along and it s called Pre-Seed. It s sperm-friendly, so you don t have to worry about creating a hazardous environment for the little swimmers. Many women have reported that they were able to get pregnant simply by using this product as they did not have adequate lubrication without it. Click here to learn more and/or to purchase Pre-Seed. If you want to try a home remedy, many women have used egg whites for lubrication, which are what laboratories also often use to store sperm. If you want to try this, take an egg out of the refrigerator and let it come to room temperature. Use the egg white immediately after cracking the egg open to avoid any infections. You would use it in exactly the same way that you might use any other type of lubrication, such as KY Jelly. While many women do use eggwhites for lubrication, be aware this technique does carry some small risk, as there is always the very slight chance of salmonella when dealing with eggs. Beware Saliva and Soap Did you know that saliva can kill sperm? Well, it does, so definitely do not use saliva as a lubricant during intercourse. An alternative to using saliva is just plain warm water if you don t want to use any of the recommendations above. And speaking of saliva, here s another tip. Do not engage in oral sex during your fertile time, because the saliva can ruin the sperm s chances of survival. This applies to oral sex on the male and female as the saliva on either the penis or vagina can damage sperm that it comes in contact with. Also, something else you may not have been aware of. Soap residue can also be harmful to sperm. So before having intercourse, if you ve washed your hands, make sure they are completely rinsed off and do not have any soap residue remaining. 18

19 You may have been doing some of the above things all along. But if you didn t rush through the material, you probably learned a couple of new tips to put into practice. Soon, you ll learn some other effective traditional and alternative methods couples are using all over the world to increase the odds of having a baby. Let s start with how to determine when you re ovulating... 19

20 Chapter 3: Are You Ovulating? Predicting Your Chances for Pregnancy While Minimizing Irregularities Ovulation is the time at which one or more eggs are released from the ovaries. It s the most fertile time of a woman s cycle and it creates the space in which the process of pregnancy can begin. In short, it s the point of conception if a healthy sperm is available to fertilize this released egg(s). During the course of each month, eggs within the ovaries will mature and grow. Depending on the overall growth of the egg, each month the ovary will choose to release the most ready egg for fertilization into the fallopian tubes. The choice of which fallopian tube the egg will be released into varies from month to month as does the ovary that releases that egg. If for some reason a woman only has one fallopian tube (perhaps due to an ectopic pregnancy), she still has a good chance of getting pregnant with the remaining tube. Why Planning for Conception Is Best The reason why it s important that you know about ovulation is because having intercourse more frequently throughout the month in hopes of catching the right time doesn t necessarily increase your chances of becoming pregnant. In fact, it s possible it can have the reverse effect. Here s why. When a man ejaculates frequently, the concentration of sperm can be lower which can lead to problems with conception. But when you try to make an effort to have sex during the most fertile times of your cycle, you ll allow the sperm to build up in higher numbers, allowing for an increased chance of conception. But as stated previously, never abstain for weeks at a time in hopes of saving up the sperm for when you are ovulating. It s best to make sure the male ejaculates around every five days when it s not your fertile time, to flush out the sperm and keep them fresh. Then, during the several days before you will be ovulating, you can time intercourse every day or every other day to increase the number of sperm waiting in the fallopian tube for the egg to be released. Ways To Tell If You re Ovulating If you want to get pregnant and are ready to start figuring out when the best times to have intercourse are, here are some basic things to look at that will indicate when you are ovulating. 20

21 The countdown: The most scientific way to determine when you are ovulating works best for women whose menstrual cycles are very regular. That means that your cycle length is approximately the same every month. What you do is count back about twelve to sixteen days that is your fertile time. For example, if your cycle length is usually 30 days, you would probably ovulate somewhere between days 14 and 18. The twelve to sixteen days between the time you ovulate and when your period arrives is known as the luteal phase. Let me explain a little further how this works Every cycle is made up of two parts, the ovulatory phase and the luteal phase. The ovulatory phase starts on the first day of your period (full flow, not spotting) and ends on the day that you ovulate. During this phase, estrogen is the predominant hormone as it helps the egg to mature. The length of this phase can vary from month to month so that you cannot always accurately predict the day you will ovulate. One of the things that can cause a delay in ovulation is stress. So if you normally ovulate on day 14 for example, and you find yourself in a stressful situation early in the month, your ovulation can be delayed by a few days. Other things that can affect ovulation are travel and illness. The second half of the cycle is called the luteal phase. During this phase, progesterone is the dominant hormone. Once you ovulate, the number of days until your period comes will be fixed each month and will not be delayed by any outside conditions such as stress. It varies from woman to woman, but once you know the length of your own luteal phase, it will stay consistent from month to month. It is important that your luteal phase not be too short, as this would be a sign that there is a deficiency of progesterone, which can cause problems in maintaining a pregnancy. Knowing this information, if you are going to get stressed out sometime during the month, hopefully it happens after you ve ovulated, because then it will have no bearing on your cycle length. Remember, any stress early in your cycle can have the effect of delaying your ovulation which makes it more difficult to know when to time intercourse to conceive. Of course, most of us don t have any control over when we are stressed, but it s helpful to be aware of when/how your cycle can be delayed by stress. That way if your period is late and the pregnancy test is negative, you may be able to think back to determine if you had any unusual stress in the first half of your cycle which could have caused the delay in your ovulation, and in turn, your period. Typically, the luteal phase can last from 12 to 16 days, with the optimum being around 14 days. Some doctors say anything less than 12 days could be a problem, while others think 10 days or less is worrisome. This is because the luteal phase is when your progesterone is building up your lining and if it's too short, (luteal phase defect) then your 21

22 lining won't be built up adequately to support a pregnancy and the embryo will be unlikely to implant (or if it does you will likely miscarry). The only way to determine the length of your luteal phase is to keep track of the day you ovulate (will discuss some methods shortly), and then count the number of days until your period arrives. As stated earlier, it should be the same number of days every month, while the day that you ovulate can vary from month to month.. Basal Body Temperature (BBT) Charting: The best way to evaluate your cycle and especially to determine if you may have a luteal phase defect, is by temperature charting, also known as BBT charting. Basal body temperature is the temperature of your body at rest. Taking your temperature first thing in the morning, before you get out of bed, eat, drink or go to the bathroom gives you the most accurate reading of your basal body temperature. When charting your BBT, you will first need to purchase a special thermometer called a basal body temperature thermometer. You can get one in most any pharmacy. It records temperatures within a tenth of a degree and is the most precise thermometer. By charting your temperatures over a period of a few months, you will see patterns in your cycle which will help you to determine when you ovulate. First, you need to check your body temperature each morning before you get out of bed and write down the temperature on a special chart used especially for this purpose. It is critical that you take your temperature around the same time every morning as soon as you awaken. If you don t get at least 4 hours sleep, or if you are ill, your temperature will be affected. Generally speaking your temperatures will have very minor fluctuations on a daily basis of about a tenth of a degree The general rule is that you have ovulated when your temperature rises at least.2 degrees higher than any temperature from the previous 6 days, and it stays elevated for at least 3 consecutive days.. The reason being, right after you ovulate, the left over egg shell (which becomes a corpus luteum ) releases progesterone in an effort to prepare your lining for the implantation of a fertilized egg. The release of progesterone causes the increase in temperature. That is why progesterone is known as the warm hormone. Unfortunately, BBT charting will only tell you that you have ovulated already it cannot predict ovulation. By monitoring your temperature over the course of a few months however, you ll begin to see a pattern emerge that can be helpful in several ways. For one thing, by charting you will be able to establish if you are in fact ovulating, which some women aren t even sure of. Secondly, you can count the number of days in your luteal phase in order to determine if you have a luteal phase defect which may require progesterone supplementation in order to conceive. As mentioned 22

23 previously, a luteal phase that is too short results in an endometrial lining that is unable to support a pregnancy. Also, even though you can t use the charts to predict specifically what day you will ovulate, you will get a good feel for approximately what day each month you ovulate and can time intercourse better to coincide with your fertile window. Another side benefit of charting is you can probably determine if you are in fact pregnant without even taking a pregnancy test! If your temperature stays elevated for 18 days following ovulation, then you are very likely to be pregnant! Once your temperature drops a few tenths, it means you are likely to get your period that day or the next day at the latest. This information can be helpful as well not in your quest to get pregnant but it s nice to have a warning that your period is due to arrive as sometimes it comes as a complete surprise when we are not exactly prepared!! If the BBT thermometer you purchased did not include any charts to use, you can go to this site which has charts you can print out: Cervical mucus: Something that can give you a very good indication of approaching ovulation concerns cervical mucus (vaginal discharge). Throughout a woman s menstrual cycle, the texture and the consistency of the cervical mucus will change. This is something you may not have ever paid attention to, but it is very important to be aware of when trying to get pregnant. As you get closer to ovulation, you will notice that your cervical mucus changes from somewhat creamy to the consistency of a raw eggwhite clear, very stretchy and wet. This happens because the levels of estrogen are rising as the body prepares to release an egg. As a rule, if you aren t sure when you will be ovulating exactly, you should start having sex as soon as you see the cervical mucus become similar to an eggwhite. You should continue having sex as long as you have this type of cervical mucus. Usually on the day of ovulation, the cervical mucus is the most abundant and stretchy. And you will know when you have already ovulated, as the cervical mucus immediately changes it gets cloudy and kind of dries up right after you ve ovulated. Possible pain in the abdomen: Some women will also feel a twinge of pain when their ovary releases an egg. This is called mittelschmerz (which is German for middle pain ) and this is felt by up to twenty percent of all women. The pain or the achiness can last anywhere from minutes to hours, depending on the woman and her sensitivity to the pain. You might also feel back pain that accompanies the lower abdominal pain. 23

24 The problem for using this pain as an indicator of when to time intercourse, is that doctors aren t sure if the pain is occurring right before, during or after ovulation. Obviously, if it s occurring right after, it would not be a reliable method to time intercourse. Also, since the sperm live for several days, you would lose the opportunity for having intercourse a few times before ovulation, which allows for much more sperm ready and waiting when the egg is finally released! Cervical Position Another change that occurs in your body as you approach ovulation is the position of your cervix. To check your cervix, make sure you have clean hands and be sure to check your cervix around the same time each day. It s probably easiest to squat down and gently insert one or two fingers into your vagina and reach back until you can feel your cervix. Depending on the time of the month, there will be some noticeable differences. (you may have to practice this awhile before you can easily notice the changes). During the first half of your cycle, the cervix will feel relatively firm like touching your nose and dry, and the position will be low in your vagina (easy to reach). The entrance to the cervix will feel closed. But as you approach ovulation, the cervix will become softer and wetter, the entrance will start to open and the position of the cervix will become higher (harder to reach). When it gets to it s highest point (difficult to reach, and the entrance to the cervix feels open, and it feels more like your lip than your nose, you are at your most fertile time and very near ovulation. You can remember this with the acronym SHOW soft, high, open, wet. Just after ovulation, the cervix begins to get firmer and drier, the position will become lower and the entrance will begin to close. These changes in the cervical position, along with the changes in the cervical mucus, can give you a very good chance at predicting your most fertile time. Are Those Ovulation Kits Any Good? If you are the type of person who doesn t want to evaluate all the signals from your body about your fertile time, there are other ways to help predict ovulation. With the invention of the home pregnancy test, women have been able to find out if they re pregnant or not without having to go into the doctor s office. Not only did this make pregnancy more private, but also more convenient. With at home ovulation predictor kits, women can begin to determine more scientifically whether or not they are in their fertile time of the month. These kits measure LH (luteinizing hormone) levels in a woman s body. The way it works is these levels 24