Celebrating Difference. Differentiated Communication in a guidance role. Sue Blair

Transcription

1 Celebrating Difference Differentiated Communication in a guidance role Sue Blair

2 The Plan What is Temperament? How does this affect our coaching? How does this affect our clients? What happens when things turn to custard? How can we clean up the mess?

3 Everything that irritates us about others can lead to an understanding of ourselves? - Carl Jung

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8 Stabiliser Improviser Day-to-day responsibility Theorist Seize the day Catalyst Master the day Make the day worthwhile

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10 Temperament Why we do what we do? Stabiliser SJ Improviser SP Theorist NT Catalyst NF Satisfying the needs of our temperament is continual. We do it every day, only to get up and do it again. - Eve Delunas

11 Linda Berens ESSENTIAL MOTIVATORS What needs are so essential to existence that we will go to great lengths to get them met?

12 Different to the Type preferences Doesn t have an opposite Differentiation not individuation A long history with multiple contributors Hippocrates Paracelsus Spranger Adickes Kretschmer Keirsey & Bates Berens Nardi

13 Stabiliser Improviser Day-to-day responsibility Theorist Seize the day Catalyst Master the day Make the day worthwhile

14 Stabiliser Day-to-day responsibility Improviser Seize the day Needs: Needs: Be responsible, dutiful and contribute to the team Freedom to take immediate action and make an impact Theorist Master the day Catalyst Make the day worthwhile Needs: Demonstrate and be recognized for expertise and competence. Needs: Encourage authentic personal growth of self and others.

15 Stabilizer Strengths Understand process how to create a structured coaching experience Past-focused so ability to remember previous examples and ideas Realistic so able to focus on what is achievable Ability to set concrete goals Potential Blind Spots May be stressed if the client requires too much flexibility May be reluctant to encourage the client to try something new May dismiss abstract ideas as unrealistic May miss the big picture

16 Eve Delunas Psychotherapist

17 Stabiliser Improviser Day-to-day responsibility Responsible to Irresponsible Seize the day Impressive to Unimpressive Theorist Master the day Competence to Incompetence Catalyst Make the day worthwhile Authentic to Inauthentic

18 Under stress Given enough stress anyone can play Survival Games Only when they become destructive are they problematic When our self-esteem, self-respect or self-confidence is under threat, we will subconsciously protect them When our core needs are not met in any part of lives; home, work and socially, we are especially vulnerable to playing the Survival Games They are anything but fun!!!

19 Complain loud and often about aches, pains and illnesses you have and are experiencing now. Complain about all the hardships of your life. 1

20 Talk about your worries and fears about bad things that might happen. Nag people in the group. 2

21 Talk about the illegal and risky things you do. Complain about being bored. 3

22 Say and do things that are outrageous and SHOCK other people in the group. 4

23 Talk about the sacrifices you have made and are willing to make for this group. Attempt to keep the peace and make everyone else happy. 5

24 Change the subject often. Don t give a straight answer to any question. 6

25 Focus on small details and point out the imperfections in what you see and hear. 7

26 Criticise people s ideas as illogical or stupid. Dismiss emotions as illogical or unimportant. 8

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28 Stabiliser Responsible to Irresponsible Exaggerates (All) Refuses to budge Becomes a permanent fixture in a toxic place Stays put, gets walked all over Too many duties poor me Can t stop shoulding Depletes (Nothing) Flat Unable Condemned to idleness

29 Improviser Impressive to Unimpressive Exaggerates (All) Attention seeking Outbursts Shocks Binges Cons Depletes (Nothing) Empty Lifeless Couch potato

30 Theorist Competence to Incompetence Exaggerates (All) Questions everything! Becomes illogical Nitpicks and argues Claims intellectual superiority Haunted by thoughts Depletes (Nothing) Blanks out Knows nothing Feels stupid

31 Catalyst Authentic to Inauthentic Exaggerates (All) Becomes a mind reader Attributes negative emotions Martyrs themselves Avoids the subject Twitches and spasms Depletes (Nothing) Stagnates Unaware Just forgets

32 Improviser Stabiliser Seize the day Impressive Unimpressive Day-to-day responsibility Responsible Irresponsible Theorist Catalyst Master the day Make the day worthwhile Competence Incompetence Authentic Inauthentic

33 Celebrating Difference Differentiated Communication in a guidance role Sue Blair