Leading Courageously: Confronting Reality Jean Winsand Institute March 28, 2019

Transcription

1 Leading Courageously: Confronting Reality Jean Winsand Institute March 28, 2019 Presented by: Dr. Sarah Shaw Principal, Jefferson Elementary School, Mt. Lebanon School District Dr. Sharon Suritsky Deputy Superintendent, Upper St. Clair School District x2213 Dr. Linda Hippert Assistant Professor, Point Park University ;

2 The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. (Max DePree, Chairman and CEO)

3 What does it mean to confront reality? Sharing the bad news as well as the good Naming the elephant in the room Addressing the sacred cows Discussing the undiscussables We confront reality by having crucial conversations!

4 In Good to Great, Jim Collins quotes U.S. Admiral James Stockdale (Vietnam prisoner of war 8 years) You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end (which you can never afford to lose) with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.

5 Crucial Conversation A discussion between 2 or more people where: Stakes are high Opinions vary Emotions run strong Result = Solve problems and build relationships

6 What is the of confronting reality? Ignoring it Acting as though it doesn t exist Burying your head in the sand, thinking it will go away The is to act as though you re confronting reality when you re actually evading it. You focus on busywork while skirting the real issues. No Crucial Conversations = No Reality!

7 So why don t people confront reality? Desire to be popular or liked Belief that it needs to be left to someone else to create distance from what s going on in order to maintain credibility and trust Want to avoid discomfort Don t want to lose face

8 The then is people see you as: Lacking in (not being open or honest, not being transparent, not talking straight) Lacking in naïve, incompetent) (clueless,

9 Develop a sense of your own extent to which you do or do not engage in Crucial Conversations Acquire the knowledge and understanding as to you may not always engage in Crucial Conversations Learn and cultivate strategies that teach you better at having Crucial Conversations to get

10 At your table... Think of your current work; Consider your participation on a team, at work, at home, in your community. 1. Recall a situation where reality needed to be confronted and a Crucial Conversation/Interaction was needed 2. What was the situation? 3. What exactly did you do? 4. Why did you do what you described in number 3?

11 At your table... Complete the brief Style Under Stress Assessment

12 Silence vs. Violence SILENCE VIOLENCE Act purposefully to withhold information from pool of meaning Means to avoid potential problems Restricts flow of meaning Playing verbal games to avoid a person entirely Any verbal strategy that attempts to convince, control or compel others to your point of view Violates safety by trying to force meaning into the pool Methods range from namecalling and monologuing to making threats

13 Style Under Stress SILENCE Masking Questions 5, 6 Avoiding Questions 3, 4 Withdrawing Questions 1, 2 VIOLENCE Controlling Questions 7, 8 Labeling Questions 9, 10 Attacking Questions 11, 12 Patterson, Kerry, Grenny, Joseph, McMillan, Ron, Switzler, Al. (2002). Creative Conversations. New York, NY: McGraw Hill, Inc.

14 Style Under Stress SILENCE Masking Questions 5, 6 Avoiding Questions 3, 4 Withdrawing Questions 1, 2 Understating or selectively showing our true opinions Sarcasm, sugarcoating, and couching Steering completely away from sensitive subjects. We talk, but without addressing the real issues Pulling out of a conversation altogether. We either exit the conversation or exit the room. Patterson, Kerry, Grenny, Joseph, McMillan, Ron, Switzler, Al. (2002). Creative Conversations. New York: McGraw Hill

15 Style Under Stress VIOLENCE Controlling Questions 7, 8 Labeling Questions 9, 10 Attacking Questions 11, 12 Coercing others to your way of thinking; Done by either forcing your views on others or dominating the conversation; Cutting others off, overstating your facts, speaking in absolutes, changing subjects, using directive questions to control the conversation Putting a label on people or ideas so we can dismiss them under a general stereotype or category Moving from winning the argument to making the person suffer. Tactics include belittling and threatening Patterson, Kerry, Grenny, Joseph, McMillan, Ron, Switzler, Al. (2002). Creative Conversations. New York: McGraw Hill

16 Essential Behaviors for Crucial Conversations 1. Maintain the right mindset and as the leader, sell it Honest = Respectful and Kind

17 Essential Behaviors for Crucial Conversations 2. Start with Dialogue Know what you really want Stay focused Look for safety problems and consider your own Style Under Stress

18 Essential Behaviors for Crucial Conversations 3. Pay Attention to and Maintain Safety Re-establish mutual purpose care about other person s interests Re-establish mutual respect use I do and I don t statements

19 Essential Behaviors for Crucial Conversations 4. Focus on Action and Results Make assignments provide specificity Hold people accountable

20 REFLECT upon the situation you identified earlier What ESSENTIAL BEHAVIORS were missing from that conversation/interaction?

21 The Art of [Effective] Communication is the Language of Leadership. James Humes

22 References Covey, Stephen M.R. (2006). The Speed of Trust. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster, Inc. Patterson, Kerry, Grenny, Joseph, McMillan, Ron, Switzler, Al. (2002). Crucial Conversations, Tools for talking when stakes are high.. New York, NY: McGraw Hill, Inc.