ABSTINENCE. first edition
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1 ABSTINENCE first edition
2 Abstinence Session Objective Session Overview Key Message Expected Learning Outcomes Time To help participants understand that abstinence is a choice and should be made within a context of good sexual information and support. Discussions on the meaning of abstinence and the support that is necessary from communities to help people who have made this choice to live positively. Making the choice to abstain from sex needs to happen within an information rich and supportive community Helping people to come to an understanding of abstinence that includes SAFER sexual practice. 45 min Material needed z flipchart z paper and pens 2
3 Abstinence does not mean silence on sex. Just because someone chooses abstinence does not mean they should not receive a comprehensive sex education. This module looks at the act of abstinence; this is when a person chooses not to engage in sexual activity until they reach their goal usually marriage. People chose to abstain for many reason including religious, cultural practice and morals; it is a global practice that is very common. People choose to abstain from sex until marriage or till they reach a certain age where they feel they are mentally and physically mature to engage in sexual activity. Abstinence can also be a conscious choice for a person who has come out of a relationship, either through a breakdown of that relationship or the death of their partner or spouse. It is a choice that can be made at any time in life, not just something spoken of for young people. There are many aspects to abstinence that religious leaders must be aware of in order to fully support people who are abstaining. Abstinence is a brave practice, which is a choice and is often faced by fierce resistance. We live in a highly sexualised world, we face images of sexual content on a daily bases, whether it is from TV, news, magazines, the internet and this is the same whether you are in an urban environment or a rural one. To choose to guard one s body and refrain from sexual activity is a huge step to take, and a good way to look after yourself. It should however be done in conjunction with a comprehensive sexual education. Just because people are not engaging in sexual activity does not mean one needs to be silent about it. If sex is treated as a taboo then it drives conversation and activity underground. Taboo = isolation and isolation = the potential for dangerous behaviour. If people have broken their vow or had a sexual encounter, they need a safe space to talk about it rather than face a wall of silence and condemnation. How are you as a religious leader helping to guide and support people on the journey to abstinence? Abstinence remains the safest of the safer sexual practices in reducing the risk of HIV transmission, but it does not protect you fully. HIV can be transmitted through other means that are not sexual and once in a sexual relationship partners may have been previously sexually active putting you at risk. Abstinence does not mean silence on sex. Just because someone chooses abstinence does not mean they should not receive a comprehensive sex education. 3
4 Other factors to consider: za person is not always in control of their own body (rape) zyou might engage in sexual activity for one reason or another zlack of support zlack of sexual education Discussion: Are people abstaining in your community? What support and guidance are you offering? Activity Read this story out to the group, and then divide the group up into smaller groups for discussion. On flipchart paper get the groups to write down what issues they think are important. Your friend s daughter comes to you for advice, she took an oath to abstain however she and her boyfriend got a bit carried away in the moment and they had unsafe sex. zwhat do you do to offer her advice? zwhat happens to her relationship? A boy in your neighbourhood took an oath to abstain but he feels pressure from the rest of his friends to have sex, they tell him he is not a real man, that he should show them how much of a real man he is zdoes he go out and have sex to prove to his friends his masculinity and virility? zdoes he stick to his oath and tell his friends he is a man for sticking to his word? zwhat advice do you give him when he comes to you for guidance? Bring the group back together and have one person from each group report on the discussion. 4
5 Note to facilitator Are the young people in your community getting support and counselling while they are abstaining? How are they setting boundaries if they are in a relationship? Are they facing peer pressure to engage in sex? Do they have a place where they can go and discuss issues? How are you as a community going to address these issues? Discussion As a group discuss answers to some of the challenges listed below. If you love me you would have sex with me. If you don t have experience as a young man you will never be able to satisfy your wife. If you are not having sex with women you must be gay. You are a sexual being! If you don t have sex you are damaging your body. 5
6 6 Reflection and Notes
7 Reflection and Notes 7
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