Slide 1 ANDREW WATSON, MA FOSTERING HEALTHY ATTACHMENTS. Slide 2 WELCOME! Slide 3

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Slide 1 ANDREW WATSON, MA FOSTERING HEALTHY ATTACHMENTS Slide 2 WELCOME! Slide 3

Slide 4 TEXT WHAT IS ADDICTION, REALLY? THE SWISS PSYCHOLOGIST ALICE MILLER ASKS. IT IS A SIGN, A SIGNAL, A SYMPTOM OF DISTRESS. IT IS A LANGUAGE THAT TELLS US ABOUT A PLIGHT THAT MUST BE UNDERSTOOD. Gabor Mate, The Realm of Hungry Ghosts Slide 5 ATTACHMENT? Attachment theory states that a strong emotional and physical attachment to at least one primary caregiver is critical to personal development. Derived from basic concept that the relationship with the primary caregiver(s) is important for later functioning and holds immediate importance to the child and its development. Slide 6 ATTACHMENT ESTABLISHES AN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP THAT HELPS THE IMMATURE BRAIN USE THE MATURE FUNCTIONS OF THE PARENT S BRAIN TO ORGANIZE ITS OWN PROCESS Daniel Siegel

Slide 7 HARLOW S (1958) RHESUS MONKEY, WIRE-MESH, EXPERIMENT. Slide 8? Slide 9 SO WHAT? Monkey chose comfort over foodinstinct when possible. Monkeys who did not have the comfort/attachment often were more ill and did not function as well. Monkeys kept in solitary, if allowed early-on to build connection to others, had a chance to develop regularly. At first, researchers thought humans became attached to their caregivers (specifically the mother) because they were fed by them not the case. Comfort and care are what initiated connection, not just food.

Slide 10 ATTACHMENT THEORY ORIGINS John Bowlby (work 1945-1985) is father of attachment theory. Fundamental premise: All persons need to bond securely to navigate healthy lives via relationship. Main concept: Secure base: from which the child can launch out to explore the environment and have new experiences. Slide 11 ATTACHMENT THEORY HOLDS THE POSITION THAT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR INDIVIDUALS TO COMPLETELY REGULATE THEIR AFFECTIVE STATES ALONE. Philip Flores, p. 3 Slide 12 Empathetic attunement Teaching through modeling Consistency Nurturance Structure & predictability

Slide 13 Slide 14 Slide 15

Slide 16 Slide 17 OUR EXPERIENCE OF THE WORLD IS CONSTRUCTED AROUND THAT NOTION OF THE ISOLATED SELF, AND IT IS FROM THIS PERSPECTIVE THAT WESTERN SCIENCE HAS EXPLORED THE BRAIN. YET, EVEN THOUGH WE CHERISH THE IDEA OF INDIVIDUALITY, WE LIVE WITH THE PARADOX THAT WE CONSTANTLY REGULATE EACH OTHERS INTERNAL BIOLOGICAL STATES. -Louis Cozolino Slide 18 One person psychology

Slide 19 Two person psychology Slide 20 Slide 21 WE ARE WIRED FOR CONNECTION FROM BIRTH.

Slide 22 THE RELATIONAL BRAIN Slide 23 NEURONS Cells that process and transmit information through electrical and chemical signals. All throughout body and nervous system. Human brain contains 85-86 billion neurons. 16.3 billion in cerebral cortex, 69 billion in cerebellum. In brain neurotransmitters (various chemical) are used to convey certain messages. Slide 24 SOCIAL SYNAPSE Synapses are where two neurons come together and form a neuronal pathway. Synapses communicate via chemical signals that activate and influence another through biochemical messages.

Slide 25 RELATING BRAIN TO BRAIN EXPERIENCES, ESPECIALLY RELATIONAL ONES, FORM THE PATHWAYS OF NEURONS IN THE BRAIN Slide 26 Two person psychology Slide 27 NEURONS THAT FIRE TOGETHER, WIRE TOGETHER

Slide 28 THE INFANT AND CHILD BRAIN At this stage brain is passive recipient, waiting for experiences. High initial sprouting of neuronal synapse=pathways are forming! Pathways formed by EXPERIENCE, with 2 potential outcomes.. Slide 29 BLOOMING: AS EXPERIENCES AND ENVIRONMENTAL STIMULATION ARE PROVIDED, THESE OCCURRENCES SHAPE THE STRUCTURE OF THE BRAIN. Slide 30 PRUNING: IF CERTAIN EXPERIENCES AND AGE APPROPRIATE STIMULI ARE NOT PROVIDED, PRUNING OCCURS.

Slide 31 THE BRAIN IS AN ORGAN OF ADAPTATION THAT BUILDS ITS STRUCTURES THROUGH INTERACTIONS WITH OTHERS. TO WRITE THE STORY OF THIS JOURNEY, WE MUST BEGIN OUR GUIDEBOOK WITH THE THOUGHT: THERE ARE NO SINGLE BRAINS. -Cozolino Slide 32 THE DEVELOPING BRAIN Healthy development is determined by infant s ability to attach itself to external object. Failure to attach=severe deficits on early organization of self. During first 5-6 months of life, in a healthy child, there is innate attachment seeking behavior to catalyze symbiosis and integration. Child learns how to regulate their own state of arousal and inner processing through interactions with another. Slide 33 THE TYPE OF EMOTIONAL ATTUNEMENT PROVIDED BY SECURE ATTACHMENT ACTUALLY INCREASES BLOOD FLOW TO THE PREFRONTAL AREAS OF THE CHILD S BRAIN, RESULTING IN THE GROWTH OF NEURAL TISSUE -Flores

Slide 34 Slide 35 THE BIGGEST LOSS IS NOT THE LACK OF ATTACHMENT ITSELF, OR THE ABUSE, OR THE NEGATIVE EVENT; THE BIGGEST LOSS IS NOT HAVING THAT BASE TO DISCOVER YOUR OWN ESSENCE. Slide 36

Slide 37 THE STRANGE SITUATION Slide 38 ADULT ATTACHMENT INTERVIEW (AAI) Slide 39 5 ATTACHMENT STYLES

Slide 40 SECURE Slide 41 AVOIDANT Slide 42 AMBIVALENT

Slide 43 DISORGANIZE Slide 44 EARNED SECURE Slide 45 EXERCISE Pair up Ask for 5 adjectives to describe one of their primary caregivers (can be fictional) (practice reflective listening, empathetic attunement.counseling skills) Lead partner to identify a specific life example that exemplifies each adjective See if you can identify which attachment pattern the partner is displaying.

Slide 46 Attachment Style SECURE AVOIDANT AMBIVALENT DISORGANIZED Parental Approach Aligned with the child; in tune with the child s emotions Unavailable or rejecting Inconsistent and sometimes intrusive parent communication Ignored or didn t see child s needs parental behavior was frightening/traumatizing Resulting Adult Characteristics Able to create meaningful relationships; empathetic; able to set appropriate boundaries Avoids closeness or emotional connection; distant; critical; rigid; intolerant Anxious and insecure; controlling; blaming; erratic; unpredictable; sometimes charming Chaotic; insensitive; explosive; abusive; untrusting even when craving security Slide 47 THESE PATTERNS MOST OFTEN ARISE DURING STRESS ANXIETY CONFLICT DISTRESS ETC. Slide 48 INSECURE ATTACHMENT DOES NOT NECESSARILY = MENTAL DISORDERS OR SUBSTANCE ABUSE

Slide 49 ADDICTION AS AN ATTACHMENT WOUND Slide 50 The Kid Care Canada Society, Roots of Addiction Slide 51 "WE DON'T HAVE RELATIONSHIPS; WE TAKE HOSTAGES -AA

Slide 52 Slide 53 THOUGHTS? INDIVIDUAL VS SOCIAL RECOVERY? OPPOSITE OF ADDICTION=CONNECTION? Slide 54 OPPOSITE OF ADDICTION =CONNECTION! Lack of healthy/quality attachment in childhood=vulnerability. Vulnerable individuals often unable to regulate affect many times unable to even identify what they feel. Without internal resources to draw from one remains unable to confront pain. Turns to external attachments to escape pain. Since shaming, painful, rejecting, etc. relationships have contributed to deficit in resources (insecure attachments) they don t turn to others. Isolation and hunger for connection leads to intolerable emotions, which fuels further lack of connection and unstable/unhealthy relationships. With few options, the right environment, the right genetics, etc. some turn to alcohol, drugs and other external sources of regulation (food, sex, work, gambling, etc.). Cycle continues until insecure self-structure is healed and healthy human/spiritual attachments are formed. =Earned-secure attachment.

Slide 55 RECOVERY= DETACHING FROM DESTRUCTIVE ATTACHMENT TO & DEVELOPING THE CAPACITY FOR HEALTHY INTERPERSONAL ATTACHMENTS Slide 56 CONCEPTS TO REMEMBER Slide 57 YOU WILL ALWAYS ATTACH TO SOMETHING!

Slide 58 THE QUALITY OF EARLY ATTACHMENTS AFFECT THE EXTENT SOMEONE CAN FACE EMOTIONAL PAIN. Slide 59 BEING COMPLETELY SEPARATED & DEPENDENT ON SELF IS NOT THE GOAL! Slide 60 THE NEED FOR ATTACHMEN T IS A LIFELONG PROCESS, NOT JUST PHASE

Slide 61 MATURE RELATIONSHIPS MUST BE ACHIEVED THROUGH AN INTERACTIVE PROCESS OF MUTUAL AGREEMENT AND CONSENT Slide 62 YOU MUST CHANGE IT UP! Slide 63 OUR BRAINS LINK WITH THOSE OF PEOPLE CLOSE TO USE, IN A SILENT RHYTHM THAT MAKES UP THE VERY LIFE FORCE OF THE BODY. THESE WORDLESS AND POWERFUL TIES DETERMINE OUR MOODS, STABILIZE AND MAINTAIN OUR HEALTH AND WELL-BEING, AND CHANGE THE STRUCTURES OF OUR BRAIN. IN CONSEQUENCE, WHO WE ARE AND WHO WE BECOME DEPEND, IN A GREAT PART, ON WHOM WE LOVE. A General Theory of Love, Lewis

Slide 64 SO WHAT THE!&%$ DO I DO ABOUT IT? Slide 65 FIRST THINGS FIRST STAY CLEAR FROM BLAME Slide 66 AT THE SAME TIME WADE INTO VULNERABILITY & RELATE THROUGH EMPATHY

Slide 67 EMPATHY IS FEELING WITH SOMEONE Slide 68 Slide 69 HALLELUJAH! NEUROPLASTICITY

Slide 70 Slide 71 HALLELUJAH! NEUROPLASTICITY Slide 72 EXPLORE THERAPY

Slide 73 HARD WORK PAYS OFF FACE THE PAIN Slide 74 THE KEY IS CONNECTION, CONNECTION, CONNECTION! Slide 75

Slide 76 REFERENCED AND SUGGESTED MATERIALS Brown, B. ( 1 ).. Center City, MN Ha elden. The Guilford Press. Cassidy,., Shaver, P. R. (1999).. New yor Co olino, L. ( ).. New Yor Norton. Crittenden, P. M., Landini, A. ( 11).. New Yor W.W. Norton and Company. Fay, D. ( 1 ).. New Yor W.W. Norton Company. Flores, P.. ( 1 ).. Plymouth ason Aronson. Foscha, D., Siegel, D, Solomon, M. (eds). ( 11).. S.l. Norton. ohnson, S. ( 8).. New Yor Little, Brown. LeDoux,. E. ( ).. New Yor Penguin Boo s. Mat, G. ( 1 ).. Ber eley, CA North Atlantic Boo s. Mate, Gabor. Siegel, D.. ( 1 ). Addiction (video). Kid Care Canada Society.. New Yor Guilford Press. Siegel, D.. ( 1 ).. New Yor W.W. Norton Co Thompson, C. ( 1 ). Stream, IL Tyndale House, Inc.. Carol