Wounded Healer to Worthy Helper Personal and Professional Development for behavioral health staff, teams and programs Maeve O Neill, MEd, LCDC, LPC-S, CDWF www.maeveoneillcounseling.com 214-412-7869 maeve@maeveoneillcounseling.com
Our legacy as BH professionals You can t take people professionally where you re not willing to go personally - Brene Brown
Agenda Welcome and Intros Mindset-Language Behavioral Health professionals, teams, organizations WAR-Willing, Able, Ready HOW-Honest, Open, Willing Culture-Talk, Trust, Feel The Daring Way CONCEPTS Courage-Compassion-Connection Show Up-Be Seen Live Brave Guideposts to Wholehearted Living Rising Strong PROCESS Reckoning Rumble Revolution BHForce-Behavioral Health workforce Workplace
Manifesto of the Brave and Brokenhearted -Brene Brown s Rising Strong
What would YOU do? Substance Use/Relapse Sexual activity with clients Sexual activity with staff Sharing pornography Possession of weapons Destruction of property Dishonesty, lying, stealing Loved ones call about domestic violence concerns Threats of harm to self and others Name calling, disrespect, bullying, gossip
William White The Incestuous Workplace Individuals become casualties in distressed organizations: -self destruct in the face of excessive demands for adaptation Organizations have power to do harm: -to themselves, to their leaders, to those who work in them and to the public
My Story, Your Story, Our Story
BH Professionals Willing Able Ready
Adverse Childhood Experiences Physical, emotional, sexual abuse Physical or emotional neglect Household mental illness Household substance use Incarcerated household member Domestic abuse Parental separation or divorce -University of Oxford's Department of Psychiatry Public Health Study
You are loved and lovable Worthy of love and belonging Boundaries Rest and Play Accountability and Respect Joy and Gratitude Learn to be vulnerable Teach you to feel Laugh, sing, dance, create Always belong here Truly, deeply seeing you
My Story, Your Story, Our Story
BH Teams Honest Open Willing
Compassion Fatigue/Burnout
Uncertainty, Risk and Emotional Exposure
Authenticity Practice
BH Organizations Talk Trust Feel
How to Help L Listen O - Observe V - Validate E - Educate E - Empower C - Consistency A - Accountability R - Respect E - Empathy E - Excitement
7C s Didn t CAUSEit Can t CURE it Can t CONTROL it Can take CARE of myself COMMUNICATE feelings Make healthy CHOICES By CELEBRATING myself, my job, my purpose
SAMHSA s Definition of Recovery Guiding Principles
The Daring Way-Dr. Brene Brown
SHOW UP BE SEEN LIVE BRAVE
DARING WAY CONCEPTS Permission Slips Gratitude Trust and the Marble Jar Arena Armory Shame Shields Values Identities and Triggers Open Heart
ARENA ANTHEMS Laughter, song, and dance create emotional and spiritual connection; they remind us of the one thing that truly matters when we are searching for comfort, celebration, inspiration, or healing; We are not alone ~Brene Brown
Mantras and Manifestos MANIFESTO FOR HELPING PROFESSIONALS The values that guide me to show up and be seen are... I stand for... I am most curious about... I am most passionate about... I have the courage to... I love... In my heart of hearts, I... I am on this planet to... I will love myself by... I will dare greatly by...
COURAGE Asking for what you need Speaking your truth Owning your story Setting boundaries Reaching out for support
COMPASSION
EMPATHY & SELF-COMPASSION We have to commit to practicing, screwing it up, and circling back. Attributes of Empathy (Wiseman) -Perspective Taking -Stay out of Judgment -Recognize Emotion -Communicate Emotion -Mindfulness Self-Compassion (Neff) -Self-Kindness -Common Humanity -Mindfulness
CONNECTION
DEFINITION OF SHAME Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging.
Shame Resilience Recognizing Shame and Triggers Practicing Critical Awareness Reaching Out Speaking Shame
ENGAGEMENT as HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS Setting Boundaries Clarifying Intentions Finding True Comfort Cultivating Spirit and Connection
ASPIRATIONAL VALUES Honesty and Integrity Respect and Accountability Gratitude and Respect Setting Limits
GUIDEPOSTS for WHOLEHEARTED LIVING Authenticity - Let go of what people think Self-Compassion - Let go of perfectionism Resilient Spirit - Let go of numbing and powerlessness Gratitude and Joy - Let go of scarcity and fear of the dark Intuition and Trusting Let go of need for certainty Creativity Let go of comparison Play and Rest Let go of exhaustion as status symbol Calm and Stillness Let go of anxiety as a lifestyle Meaningful Work Let go of self-doubt Laughter, Song and Dance Let go of being in control
WHOLEHEARTED for BH Staff W Worthy H Humor O - Open L - Limits E Expectations H - Helpful E Enjoyment A - Authentic R - Resilience T - Traditions E - Emotions D - Deliberate
BHForce- Behavioral Health workforce Courageous Professionals Compassionate Teams Connected Organizations
Brave and Brokenhearted Reckon with EMOTIONS HEART Rumble with THOUGHTS HEAD Revolution is new BEHAVIOR HANDS
BRAVING Boundaries Reliability Accountability Vault Integrity Non-Judgement Generosity
BHForce- Behavioral Health workforce Definition of FORCE: Strength or energy as an attribute of physical action or movement JOIN THE MOVEMENT!
CULTURE The set of behaviors, values, artifacts, reward systems, and rituals that make up your organization. You can feel culture when you visit a company, because it is often evident in people s behavior, enthusiasm, and the space itself
Enviable Workplace Culture 1. People are waiting in line to join the team 2. Turnover is low 3. Top leaders are not insecure about other leaders succeeding 4. Gossip isn t tolerated 5. Lateral leadership is outstanding 6. Team members are energized by the mission 7. It s not just a job 8. The team believes they are more important than the task 9. People are smiling 10. Fear is missing 11. Communication is strong 12. Change is welcome Tim Stevens in Fast Company
Workplace Health Scarcity Never Enough Comparison, Guilt, Humiliation & Embarrassment
Rituals Personal and Professional PRACTICE - 4x a day -Wake Up -Leave Home/Get to work -Leave work/get Home -Bedtime WORKPLACE - DAILY
BHForce-Membership Behavioral Health workforce For Individuals, Teams, Orgs Coaching calls Weekly email assignments Daily inspirational quotes Unlimited texts/email Access to social media (Facebook/LinkedIn pages)
Thanks for all you do! Delaney, Maeve and Aidan
Resources By Brene Brown: Daring Greatly The Gifts of Imperfection I thought it was just me (but it isn t) Rising Strong Additional Personal Development: Super Soul Sunday on OWN channel Paulo Coehlo-The Alchemist don Miguel Ruiz-The Four Agreements