A LEADER IN THE Fraternity/Sorority World

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A LEADER IN THE Fraternity/Sorority World Nicki Meneley (ΑΒ, Purdue University) grew up in a small one-stop-sign town in Northeast Indiana, where she was one of only a handful of

1 A LEADER IN THE Fraternity/Sorority World Nicki Meneley (ΑΒ, Purdue University) grew up in a small one-stop-sign town in Northeast Indiana, where she was one of only a handful of her graduating class of 52 to go on to college. For many of the young people there, the only people they knew who had college degrees were their teachers. 50 Fall 2015 xx The Lyre

2 When she graduated high school, Nicki knew what was up next for her: four years at Purdue University. What she didn t know was that her Greek experience there would change her life and lead her to professional positions as both a chapter consultant and a full-time staff member at Alpha Chi Omega headquarters; the first executive director of the National Panhellenic Conference; and now the first fulltime CEO of the Fraternity Executives Association. Not too bad for a girl from a small Indiana town. BECOMING A BOILERMAKER Nicki s older brother, Judd, graduated high school two years before her and headed off to Purdue. Since she wasn t much younger, Nicki would spend weekends visiting Judd at school. Her trips to see him in West Lafayette gave her a taste of college life, and they also provided her with her first introduction to sorority life. Judd s girlfriend happened to be an Alpha Chi Omega, so Nicki stayed overnight at the Alpha Beta house with her, hanging out with and getting to know the women in the chapter. Two years later, in 1996, Nicki arrived on campus as a freshman. At the time, Purdue had deferred recruitment, so she spent her first semester hanging out with the Alpha Chi Omega women, filling in on the chapter s intramural teams when needed and making strong connections with chapter sisters. It was those strong connections that made it an easy decision for Nicki to join Alpha Chi Omega. While at Purdue, Nicki was involved in a number of campus activities, including working at the student health center and serving as a Boiler Gold Recruiting Hostess for the football team and Panhellenic recruitment counselor. But it was Alpha Chi Omega that took up much of her time. Among Nicki s favorite memories in the chapter was the week after winter break and before recruitment. Because Purdue had deferred recruitment, members had to come back from winter break a week early to prepare. Nicki loved that time in the house with just her sisters, no one else around, hanging out and catching up with each other. Spring break trips were memorable, as were days in the chapter just hanging out with women who remain lifelong friends to this day. There were tough times, too. During Nicki s sophomore year, chapter sister Julie Swengel was killed in a plane crash at Purdue. Nicki says, Julie s death was very tragic, but it was also a unifying experience for the chapter. It was something that showed us, at what I would consider a relatively young age, what the sorority experience was supposed to be about. The fact that this experience drew us closer together also proved that what we had weren t just surface-level relationships. These women were true friends. Nicki held a number of leadership positions in the chapter, including VP membership development and chapter president. She says, One of the first things I had the opportunity to do as a junior, when I was chapter president, was go down to headquarters to participate in a focus group. I remember sitting next to MerLynn Pitcher in that focus group, and after it was over, she followed up with me. She invested in me as a chapter president. That was a meaningful moment for me as an Alpha Chi Omega. I also remember when Bente Fein Weitekamp and Meredith Lucas Deneau came to our chapter to help us with recruitment one year, and they had both traveled as consultants. I said, I want to be like these two women, and I want to travel for Alpha Chi Omega. GREAT THINGS (ΑΧΩ AND OTHERWISE) AHEAD Nicki got her wish. When she graduated from Purdue, she became a traveling chapter consultant with nine other women. The Lyre xx alphachiomega.org 51

Nicki (third from left) and some of her 2000-01 traveling-consultant sisters at a wedding last October She says, Being a traveling consultant taught me to be selfreliant and resilient, and to develop

3 Nicki (third from left) and some of her traveling-consultant sisters at a wedding last October She says, Being a traveling consultant taught me to be selfreliant and resilient, and to develop critical reasoning skills. Imagine, you re preparing for recruitment and the kitchen floods. You re going to have to figure that out. No one s going to help you with that. Alpha Chi Omega helped me hone those critical skills and prepare for what laid ahead professionally. Nicki came back on board for a second year as a chapter consultant, but it s that group from her first year who have really stuck together. The women, spread out across the country as they are, still get together twice a year. Nicki says, The unique thing about the sorority experience is that even though I didn t go to school with these women, I m closer to them than some of my college friends. It s all because of Alpha Chi Omega and that shared experience. When her time as a chapter consultant wrapped up in 2002, Nicki joined the headquarters staff as marketing and events coordinator. One of her largest projects was planning the 2004 National Convention in Orlando, Florida (which also happens to be the site of our 2016 National Convention!). In 2005, after five years at Alpha Chi Omega and at the urging of a chapter sister, Nicki took a job at the Purdue Alumni Association planning young alumni events and programming. During her time at Purdue, she also went to graduate school and earned her master s degree in public affairs, with a concentration in nonprofit management. Eventually, Nicki was promoted from her position to assistant executive director. It s important to note here that Nicki was the first person to serve in each of these positions. It was her first experience with taking either a job description or a vision that someone had for a job and turning it into something concrete, a theme that was about to become a trend in her professional future. A PANHELLENIC OPPORTUNITY In 2010, while she was working at Purdue, Nicki was approached by Julie Cain Burkhard, Alpha Chi Omega past National President ( ) and past NPC chairman ( ), who told her NPC was looking for its first executive director. Says Nicki, Julie told me, With your Greek 52 Fall 2015 xx The Lyre

experience, education and nonprofit experience, I think you would be great. Though Nicki volunteered for NPC, she told Julie no, that she just didn t think it was a good fit.

4 experience, education and nonprofit experience, I think you would be great. Though Nicki volunteered for NPC, she told Julie no, that she just didn t think it was a good fit. However, after a few weeks of reconsidering and talking with a number of women including past Alpha Chi Omega executive director Nancy Leonard, and some Phi Mu friends who volunteered at NPC alongside Nicki she threw her hat in the ring. Not long after, she was hired as the first NPC executive director. While Nicki was still working at Alpha Chi Omega headquarters, the organization was preparing for Julie Burkhard to become NPC chairman, and Nicki had the opportunity to attend two NPC meetings. The opportunity to attend those meetings and experience what NPC was all about was a great foundation for her role as executive director. In the past five years, with Nicki at the helm, NPC has grown its staff from three full-time employees to five, plus one part-time employee, and graduate and undergraduate internship programs. It has also implemented large-scale educational programs and enhanced the organization s overall structure and operations, turning it into an efficient, customer service-focused organization. Nicki is incredibly proud of the progress NPC has made and where the organization stands today. ANOTHER FIRST On August 3, 2015, Nicki began a new chapter in her professional career when she became the first full-time CEO of the Fraternity Executives Association (FEA). FEA members are primarily fraternity and sorority executive directors and CEOs and their staffs. As an organization, FEA provides for the professional development of its members while promoting the values and success of the fraternal movement. Since 2012, FEA has had a part-time executive director. As needs for the membership and the industry have changed, the FEA board of directors determined they wanted a full-time staff member who could dedicate more time and resources to the management of the organization to further develop benefits and education, and advance the organization. Nicki says, I m excited for the opportunity to take an organization with an amazing foundation and an amazing Nicki speaking at the 2015 FEA annual meeting in July The Lyre xx alphachiomega.org 53

5 history and launch it into its next phase. I can t wait to grow it and see what it can do. When we think about interfraternal relationships and partnerships, it s a very unique culture that we re in because the women s organizations and men s organizations are competing against each other in some capacity. For membership, for grant dollars, for expansion opportunities. We re competitors, but there s a point where we understand that if we don t rally together, we re not going to survive. It s that old adage that a rising tide raises all boats. We ve got to raise the tide so we can all benefit. That s something that I m really excited about with FEA: the opportunity to help all organizations be better. While at Alpha Chi Omega headquarters, Nicki worked under Nancy Leonard during the time she was interim executive director. Nancy had previously served as the first female president of FEA, from Nicki s position is yet another opportunity for Alpha Chi Omega to have a first within FEA. To follow this road that Nancy Leonard put FEA on is such an incredible honor, she says. IT S NOT 4 YEARS, IT S FOR LIFE Nicki is a big believer in the lifetime benefits of being in a sorority. She says, The sorority experience is a unique leadership and social experience. It s the only organization on campus that gives you such a wide breadth of opportunities: philanthropy, leadership, meeting new people, experiencing new things and building relationships that will last beyond four years. Also, when we have students coming to campus who struggle with personal relationships because they re behind a computer or phone screen all day long, sorority is a great opportunity to teach them what an interpersonal relationship should really look like. How to build friendships, how to talk to people, how to have healthy discord and move on from it. You re not going to get that in a lot of other organizations on campus. Nicki is also a big believer in the power of the relationship. She says, The relationships I ve had in Alpha Chi Omega both as a collegian and as an alumna, and Panhellenically, have had a tremendous impact on my life, both personally and professionally. Without them, I wouldn t be where I am today. I wouldn t know the people I know and I wouldn t be married to the man I m married to. We ve talked in the NPC office a When you have those bad days, it s about trying to remember those good experiences and what we re really striving for. That s what will push you through. lot about how networking was the big, hot thing, and how everyone should be doing it. And I really challenged the staff to think of things a different way. Networking seems shallow and forced. Look at it more as relationship building. Seeking out new connections and deepening existing relationships. For Nicki, the biggest benefit of sorority membership and the meaningful relationships it develops has been the unconditional support from sorority sisters, Panhellenic sisters and interfraternal partners. Last October, my dad passed away. The funeral was in this teeny, tiny town in Indiana. The church was packed, and a lot of them were interfraternal friends. My traveling consultant friends were represented, my Alpha Chi Omega friends were represented, interfraternal partners were there. People I never would have thought would have come to my father s funeral came because of the connection we ve had through the fraternity and sorority experience. For me, that was so personally impactful and powerful. 54 Spring 2015 xx The Lyre

6 STRENGTH IN THE BOND Nicki is married to M.J. Meneley, a Ball State University graduate, Sigma Chi alumnus and principal of his own landscape architecture firm, Blue Marble Design LLC, which has done work for fraternal organizations. Nicki and M.J. also have twin boys, 4 ½-year-old Reas and Paul James (P.J.). While Nicki s relationships with her traveling-consultant sisters from are strong, M.J. and his Sigma Chi brothers have a connection like none other she s seen. She says, These guys get together all the time, see each other s families, have barbeques. People are shocked that they re still close friends after all these years. As a busy executive, wife and mom, Nicki has tough days just like anyone else. The key is in how you deal with them. Nicki says, First of all, there s the reality that the day will end. You won t have to be on the whole time. That s what I enjoy about our industry. The people I work with, whether staff or volunteers, are genuine people who have a passion for what we do, so even if you re having a bad day or you know you don t want to be on, you know you re fighting the good fight. You ve got good people flanking you, you ve got good people supporting you and lifting you up, and you know you can get through it because of the people you re surrounding yourself with. When I reflect on times I ve been at a campus visit and seen a Panhellenic woman realize for the first time the power she has as an individual woman, and the Panhellenic collectively, that is empowering and uplifting for me. When you have those bad days, it s about trying to remember those good experience and what we re really striving for. That s what will push you through. INFLUENCED BY REAL, STRONG WOMEN As far as Alpha Chi Omega mentors and role models go, Nicki has had no shortage of them. Going back to her traveling-consultant days, she mentions learning so much from those nine women, including Mikelle Brady, who continues to serve as an influential peer role model. When we were consultants, we would always talk about Nicki with her husband, M.J., and their twin boys, Reas and P.J. at an Indianapolis Indians game how we would be on National Council or in other leadership positions within the organization someday. To have Mikelle in the position she s in today [president of the Alpha Chi Omega National Housing Corporation Board of Directors], we couldn t be more proud of her. When it comes to being a real, strong woman, Nicki has a real, strong answer: It means being an honest woman, and utilizing your voice. There are a lot of times we as women feel like we shouldn t use our voice to its capacity, or we feel like our voice is diminished. That s something we have to push through, because our voices are important and they need to be heard. If you re a real, strong woman, you fight through that and make sure your voice is heard. 55

It still is, but in a different way since dementia joined our family.

It still is, but in a different way since dementia joined our family. You can picture the cheerleader and the football player who became high school sweethearts. She had the pom poms and he had the shoulder pads and the tough guy scowl. Well that was us, but it was so totally