A NEWSLETTER FOR TRIPLE CITIES INTERGROUP AND SURROUNDING AREAS

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1 THE SOBER TIMES A NEWSLETTER FOR TRIPLE CITIES INTERGROUP AND SURROUNDING AREAS Mission Statement: To share and encourage unity amongst the Triple Cities Intergroup and surrounding AA fellowship, by providing access to upcoming events, activities and personal views that may be of interest to those who are affected by alcoholism. Nothing published herein should be construed as Statements of AA or Triple Cities Intergroup, Area 47, Al Anon, AlaTeen, District 10 or any Intergroup District, Group, or the Sober Times Committee members. thesobertimes@outlook.com Fall Issue No. 68 October, November, and December 2018 Back to basics I am an alcoholic. My name is Gene. I got sober on August 18, I was at meetings before that, and they never asked me to leave. As a matter of fact, they got me a half cup of coffee and they told me to sit down and listen. And I did so. I came to meetings in August 1979 with a DWI/manslaughter. The meetings were great back then. We talked about the steps and traditions. My sponsor taught me the steps and we worked with each other. We talked about alcoholism in meetings. We talked about the steps in meetings. I went away for 32 months and then I came back home. I stayed sober. I joined a meeting called Back to Basics, which was just starting. I was one of the first members. We talked about alcohol and the steps, and we did not talk about God or drugs. We all stayed sober. As a matter of fact, most of the people from that meeting were Old-Timers at the end. From that meeting, I went to other meetings for many years. We would always talk about the steps and how to stay sober, which I could do, one day at a time. And we talked about the traditions a lot. When you went to a meeting, you would talk about the traditions at least 2 or 3 times a week- you would talk about one of the traditions. And we lived them. We did not break them. One of the traditions was broken when I was in court- they said that I was a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. AA in this area got a hold of New York, and they wrote a letter to the Binghamton Press that they could not say that, because it was breaking our anonymity. I have had a lot of experience with the steps and traditions. Every one of my sponsees has gone through the steps with me, because that s what my sponsors did for me. We learned them. You know, AA was always about helping another person- if a newcomer came in, we would give them a coffee, sit them down, and talk about AA. You were asked not to speak, but to listen, and we did listen. When I came in, that was major- to listen to what the speaker said and not to talk! We didn t have cell phones. Back then, they gave me a dime and said call before you drink! And if you did drink, they said take that dime and go to hell! People were not very nice at those meetings back then. But we stayed sober. We knew that would be our life. AA has saved a lot of lives and I pray that it keeps saving lives. But the way we break traditions today, I wonder if AA will still be here in 10 years from now. I see traditions getting broken all of the time- it makes me feel sick. Bill said that AA will fold from within, and that s what will happen if we keep breaking traditions and not wanting to live the steps. I ve learned to talk about the steps, and when I used to tell my story, I used to start at Step 1: that I was an alcoholic, and my life was unmanageable. Step 2 is about restoring your sanity, and it took time for me to be restored to sanity. Step 3 is a God step, and that was a very hard step for me, and I ve changed my way of thinking many times since I got sober. The 4 th and the 5 th steps are about taking inventory, and talking to God about it. I won t go through all of the steps, because everyone should learn them. You used to have to have 90 days before you could chair a meeting when I got sober- now a person with one day sober is chairing a meeting. Where is the responsibility of the person who has time in the program? Have we lost all of our responsibilities and don t want to be responsible for our own program? These are questions I ask myself every day. The program is big- it used to be smaller and we had more of a connection with our Higher Power and the people in the program. If someone didn t show for a meeting, we would call and ask what was going on- and find out what was going on with the person. And today, we don t do it. We weren t nice sometimes (according to some of the people)- if someone was whining a lot, we d give them cheese my sponsor would actually give me money to stop on the way to the meeting, and pick up cheese for that Owego meeting. I did that- I put money in front of people and told them to go get drunk and get it over with, because you can t baby people. This is called tough love- today in AA, we have poor baby, poor baby, pour baby a drink and I see that today, every day, in meetings. We need to get back to the basics, like the Back to Basics meeting. -recorded at Otsiningo Park, August 2018 INSIDE THIS ISSUE: COVER STORY - Back to basics Poem, Announcements 2 Local Service story 3 Story Service makes you whole 1 4 AA meets you where you are Hope you didn t miss the Old- Timer s panel on August 25, 2018 in Binghamton. Listening to people who have a long time in the program of AA is usually a wonderful experience (always knowing that we work towards spiritual progress, not perfection!) One thing all of the speakers had in common was that the hand of AA was there for them, reaching out as they asked for help and even if they could not do so. It never ceases to amaze us how our lives change when we use the AA program as a design for living. The entire panel was profoundly greatful for their fellow AAs, and continue to extend their hands to all of us, founding meetings, sponsoring, speaking, and sharing their experience, as Judy shared from a letter her father had written at the time when the first edition of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous was printed: There is hope. -Sober Times staff thesobertimes@outlook.com

2 THE SOBER TIMES Fall Issue No. 68 PAGE 2 FREEDOM FROM BONDAGE OF SELF As the stress, conflict and unrest live in my head, I have no freedom. I have little, quality sobriety, so I am one step closer to a drink. Decisions I made as a dry drunk are annoying me, and I feel chained to my choices. -so unsettling and annoying. Day after day I keep stepping ahead, I trudge on, playing out the consequences of my bad choices. I go to step meetings, discussion meetings, speaker meetings, I pray, I get sponsor, I am a sponsor, I DON'T DRINK -just for today. UGH I talk about it, again and again and... OH I talk about it. My ego never really had me doing alot of that. Congratulations to our new dcm s Elections were held on September 7, 2018 at Conklin & Hayes, and the following AAs were elected: VIRGINIA P (Binghamton) STILL AVAILABLE 0640 (Johnson City) KAREN H (Endicott) Area Elections were held on September 9, 2018 and the result is: BARB C., from Ithaca is our new Delegate! Congratulations to all & Thank you for your service! Update on the Bridge the Gap Program: Our Corrections Committee will be participating with the Broome County Jail. AA members who wish to sign up should contact: Roger or Charlotte They may be reached at the Intergroup Meetings Last Sunday of the month 12:30 PM YWCA 80 Hawley Street, Binhamton, NY My ego never really had me listening either. The first time on my virgin ears, I hear your truth, while my eyes stand wide open, and in awe. DON T DRINK, GO TO MEETINGS, AND PRAY IF YOU CAN! Become a Grapevine Representative I'm comforted by your company. The ego deflation that comes with the first step walks next to me. I breathe and relax. The self breaks its isolation. Freedom is coming. -Julie S. Service Opportunity Grapevine Representatives are the link between AA Grapevine and the groups. It's a fun way to get involved! All you have to do is announce the latest issue at your meeting, let people know how they can participate by sending in stories, or jokes. It's easy to get started. Simply let your homegroup know that you are interested. Register with us online and you will receive a complete information kit from the Grapevine office.

3 THE SOBER TIMES Fall Issue No. 68 PAGE 3 Get involved! Why is getting people involved in service work like pulling teeth? The longer I ve been around the more I ve been thinking about it. The Oldtimers are like I've done it already and the newer people say I don t have enough time. But you had enough time to DRINK! It s very sad actually. People don t know what they re missing. I know for myself, service work is part of my recovery. It s just another tool to help keep me sober. I ve been told you can t keep it, unless you give it away. I ve been involved with service work since I was 9 months sober when my homegroup told me I was going to be an Intergroup Rep. I was so scared. What is an Intergroup Rep?! I had very low self-esteem, and was very shy when I came into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. It's not a hard job. Just come to the Intergroup meeting once a month, take notes and report back to your homegroup during Group Conscience. You also get to VOTE during elections, or when anything important comes up that needs to be voted on. Sometimes they want you to go back to your homegroup to see what they think of the motion that will be voted on the next following month. That way the groups are involved with what is going on at Intergroup. I think it's exciting how things work in AA and how things get done. You also get to meet new people and maybe make some more new friends. GSR Reps are not that much different. GSR stands for General Service Representative. I was a GSR when I was 3 years sober. Again, I was so scared! Something new and different and I didn t know a thing about it. I am so grateful to the Oldtimers that taught me about Service at that level that are no longer with us. I still miss them. One of them taught me about the triangle with the 3 legacies on Recovery (12 Steps) Unity (12 Traditions), and Service (12 Concepts). Look on the back of your medallion. There it is! The GSR s go to the local GSR meeting once a month. Again, you take notes if you want and go back to your groups with what is going on at district. What is district? District is our Area for Binghamton (0630), Johnson City (0640), and Endicott (0650). Each one has their own number for that district, with a DCM representing the groups in that particular district. A DCM is a District Committee Member. Again, I have learned so much about this job, and about AA as a whole. I wasn t as scared this time when I got voted in as a DCM. Imagine that! All of us, GSR s and the DCM s go to the Area Assemblies. They re in a different location each month, anywhere from Binghamton, Syracuse, and Rochester, to anywhere in between Central NY. Just like Intergroup, they (Area) have all the same committees (like CPC, Treatment, etc.), and the main officers (Treasurer, Chairperson, etc.). Area also has, most importantly, our Delegate that represents all of Central New York, which is called Area 47. He or she lets us know what is going on down in NYC at our GSO (General Service Office). They (the Delegates) also vote each year on all the important changes or issues at the yearly Conference. That s why it s so important Groups have a GSR so the Delegate knows how we feel about any issues, topics, etc. so he or she will know how to vote for us. So, there you have it. I ve only given a general idea of how things work. If you re interested, which I hope you are, ASK someone like your sponsor. READ the literature. There are tons of literature available on all kinds of service work out there. Please get involved. If you re scared, do it anyway. I did. I was a housewife drunk before I got sober and never planned on doing any service work when I got sober. I just wanted to get sober. If I can do it, anybody can! I know for myself it has been so rewarding in so many ways. Barb C. DCM 0650

4 THE SOBER TIMES Fall Issue No. 68 PAGE 4 THE GIFT OF SERVICE When I came to Alcoholics Anonymous, in June 1988, I was in a world of pain and paralyzed by fear. When I read the Doctor s Opinion in the Big Book, I knew that you folks knew what you were talking about and that I had the disease of alcoholism too. I went to meetings and listened to the old-timers discuss the program of recovery and tried to apply it to my life. As the years went by and I stayed sober, I recognized the priceless gift that I had received. So many times during troubles of my own making I felt as if a Higher Power was holding me up. I also began to realize the effort on the part of my fellow AAs to carry and continue to carry the AA message to me. I am extremely grateful today to my maker and the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous for the gift of sobriety. Having said all that, I must confess that at times I have found the people of the fellowship to be... well, human! Although I have been the great beneficiary at times of the kind of love that has no price tag, I have also found that sometimes you people get on my nerves. Many times I have been taught patience, love and tolerance, through gritted teeth! Early on in sobriety I met a man who helped me and changed my life forever. He was a cantankerous old World War II vet who made me laugh and helped me stay sober. Although sometimes I felt like he was holding me hostage when we would talk, he was always friendly and encouraging in our conversations. Also, I noticed that he went to meetings all over the city and gave away AA medallions from a deodorant container to perfect strangers. In short he was always good to me and appeared to be a good AA member, but our paths crossed only when attending meetings or in giving him a ride home a few times. As the years went by and Harold and I got closer, I began to notice that he was getting more and more direct with others at AA meetings. He was certainly old school and wasn t afraid to direct a comment at what he thought was inappropriate. He would often quote his sponsor who told him, If you want sobriety, kid, then do what you re told! He had a deep ragged voice and always hammered home his point with it. a car and his walking became strained. He then took a fall and his walking grew worse. I began giving him rides more and more to meetings or even to run errands. When he had trouble walking, I would lean my shoulder under his arm and jack him up to help him around. He told me and others, who might have tried to help, that I was the perfect size to fit under his arm. And so it went for a few years until I could no longer hold him up as his other leg started to give out. I went and bought him a wheelchair and eventually we were able to convince him to move to a nursing home, but certainly not without a fight! At times he was an impossible human being to be around and it took all the AA training I had gotten to show him the unconditional love that I have received so freely. My friendship with Harold taught me to be patient, loving and forgiving. It also taught me that the love that I have been given and that I still receive today on a daily basis is to pass on. Sometimes to try to carry the message is to carry the messenger! There is no substitute for one drunk talking to another and I have found by helping my friend Harold who died this month, that I was offering a little bit of humanity back to a man who had helped so many others. Being a human crutch has helped me to see the power of this human touch. In closing, let me add that sometimes I have heard it said in meetings when asking for a moment of silence for the still sick and suffering alcoholic, that you might find them in or outside of these rooms. I have found them in both places and have been taught well that my only hope is to be of maximum service. Therefore, I close with yet another suggestion to anyone who is looking to find serenity: Adopt an old-timer or let one adopt you! Either way, you find a wealth of experience strength and hope. One of the sayings that Harold taught me in recent years is: Even a broken watch is right twice a day!" -- Tom C., Evanston, Illinois/ with permission from The Grapevine, story online only. About five or so years ago, Harold began attending meetings that I was going to and the relationship deepened. He was in his late 70s by then and had lost his wife and was living alone. I felt for him as his health began to fail him. It started when he was hit by

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