A NEWSLETTER FOR TRIPLE CITIES INTERGROUP AND SURROUNDING AREAS

Transcription

1 THE SOBER TIMES A NEWSLETTER FOR TRIPLE CITIES INTERGROUP AND SURROUNDING AREAS Mission Statement: To share and encourage unity amongst the Triple Cities Intergroup and surrounding AA fellowship, by providing access to upcoming events, activities and personal views that may be of interest to those who are affected by alcoholism. Nothing published herein should be construed as Statements of AA or Triple Cities Intergroup, Area 47, Al Anon, AlaTeen, District 10 or any Intergroup District, Group, or the Sober Times Committee members. Winter Issue No. 65 January, February, and March 2018 My Understanding of the First Step I admitted my drinking problem well before I was able to stop. Nearly every time I drank I got drunk. My first drink I was 17 and it did something for me. For the first time, I felt comfortable in the world. I drank so much my friends cut me off. My first time and I was already drinking differently than everyone else. I didn't see this, I thought: I want to do this again soon, this is the answer. For the next seventeen years I never drank normally, but always times I tried to moderate or stop. I learned from AA that I drank to excess because of a physical craving (an allergy) that only alcoholics have. This fit me perfectly, once I had the first drink I could rarely control the amount I drank. I knew that if I just avoided the first drink I would not get drunk. But my past experience showed that even with this knowledge, I continued to pick up the first drink. For most of my drinking career I did not enjoy it. I was ashamed of who I was when I drank. I would go places without wanting to drink, then the thought of "just one. I'd look at the first one and ask myself "I wonder what is going to happen?" This thinking is insane. Even though I knew I wouldn t be able to control it and the consequences around drinking were rarely good I would start again. I learned in AA that I have a mental obsession with alcohol. My alcoholism did not get solved by using will power to avoid the first drink. I drink even though I know the negative consequences that will come. Even when I want to stop, my will power and knowledge is not enough for me to avoid the first drink. So, I have a problem when I drink but also when I don't drink. I am powerless over alcohol, I can t control it when I drink and I can t stay away from it when I try to quit. The first step talks about an unmanageable life. I thought my life was manageable because I had a job, a wife, and material items. AA showed me that my unmanageable life had nothing to do with material items and it was not caused by drinking. Searching my life by using the book Alcoholics Anonymous, I realized that my life was unmanageable, period. Sure, when I drank my life was unmanageable because I was drunk. I also realized my alcohol obsession drove my decisions even when I was not drunk. Drunk or not, alcohol controlled my life, not me, my life was unmanageable. I was shown that my obsession was driven by a spiritual condition that is unique to alcoholics. I could relate to the statements in the Doctor s Opinion that I drink because I like the effect produced by alcohol. Also, I am restless, irritable, and discontented until I take the next drink. Through my experience I could also relate to the bedevilments of misery and depression described on page 52. My experience was that drinking was my solution to all of these problems. I never felt quite right or comfortable with myself until I drank and started to feel comfortable in my life. Searching through my drinking experience using the book Alcoholics Anonymous gave me an understanding of the first step. I am powerless I had lost the power of choice and control of my drinking. My decisions and will power were never enough to control or quit drinking. I need a power greater than myself to INSIDE THIS ISSUE: COVER STORY - My First Step Discoveries Recovery and Service 2, 3 Knowing Yourself 3, 4 TCI Election Info 4 Upcoming Events & Announcements 1 2,4 solve my alcohol problem. From this understanding, the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous started, I earnestly worked the 12 steps. I have recovered from alcoholism through the power of the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-step program. It connected me to a higher power that has removed my obsession to drink. I am no longer controlled by alcohol, I can carry the AA message of hope to newcomers, and can be of service in all areas of my life. I am forever grateful to the founders and to those in the fellowship that continue to carry this message for me and newcomers. In Service, Nick B., Vestal 12-Step Group

2 THE SOBER TIMES Winter Issue No. 65 PAGE 2 General Service 101 It has come to my attention that many people don't know what a G.S.R. (General Service Representative) is or does, or what a D.C.M. is or does. It's the purpose of this article to briefly explain these things. A more descriptive explanation can be found in the A.A. Service Manual (BM -31). The G.S.R. is a home group representative that is chosen or elected by the group to represent District meetings and Area Assemblies. The Area Assemblies are held at a pre-determined site somewhere in Central NY for the purpose of conducting the business of A.A. in Area 47. Car-pooling is available and encouraged. Your duties would include such things as sharing your groups concerns with your D.C.M. and Area Assembly as well as reporting back to your group the findings, decisions, and concerns of the Area Assembly. You should have two years sobriety and some service experience in A.A. A working knowledge of the 12 Traditions is most helpful. The pamphlet "General Service Representative: May Be the Most Important Job in A.A." (P-19) would be helpful as well as pg. S25 of the A.A. Service Manual. The D.C.M. (District Committee Member) works with the G.S.R.'s of the groups he or she is assigned to as well as the Area delegate. They regularly attend meetings or those groups and the Group Conscious of those groups whenever possible. They should be helpful to the groups in any way they can, especially 12 Traditions concerns. They are responsible for hosting district meetings and on occasion, Area Assemblies & other service related events. He or she encourages the G.S.R.'s to be familiar with the 12 Traditions, the A.A. Service Manual, the G.S.O. bulletin Box and other G.S.O. service material. They keep the delegate informed of District problems. A complete description can be found in the pamphlet "Your District Committee Member" (F-12), or on pg. S31 in the A.A. Service Manual. Twelve Tips on Keeping Your Holiday Season Sober and Joyous 1. Line up extra A.A. activities for the holiday season. Arrange to take newcomers to meetings, answer the hot-line phones, speak, help with dishes, or visit the alcoholic ward at a hospital. 2. Be a host to A.A. friends, especially newcomers: If you don t have a place where you can throw a party, take one person to dinner or spring for coffee. 3. Keep your A.A. telephone list with you all the time. If a drinking urge or panic comes postpone everything else until you have called an A.A. 4. Find out about the special holiday parties, meetings, or other celebrations given by groups in your area, and go. If you re timid, take someone newer than you are. 5. Skip any drinking occasion you are nervous about. Remember how clever you were at excuses when drinking. Now put the talent to good use. No office party is as important as saving your life. 6. If you have to go to a drinking party, and can t take an A.A. with you, keep some candy handy. 7. Don t think you have to stay late. Plan in advance an important date you have to keep. 8. Worship in your own way. 9. Don t sit around brooding. Catch up on those books, museums, walks, and letters. 10. Don t start getting worked up about all those holiday temptations. Remember one day at a time. 11. Enjoy the true beauty of holiday love and joy. Maybe you cannot give material gifts but this year, you can give love. 12. Having had a No need to spell out the Twelfth Step here, since you already know it. I'm in my 6th year in General Service and I can't describe for you what it's done for me spiritually in the contents of this article. What I get out of it can't be found in the A.A. Service Manual or any pamphlet. It's the fellowshipping during the car rides and the unity while hosting an Area Assembly that I find most valuable. It's the feeling of "belonging" that attracts me. The enthusiasm and energy that I witness at an Area Assembly never fails to amaze me. This is how I choose to do my 12 step work (or make 12 step work possible). It gets me out of myself, and it's especially important to me to ensure that A.A. is here for generations to come for whoever may need us. Last but certainly not least - I STAY SOBER! And The Sober Times still keeps an open forum for our fellowship... -from Box 4-5-9, Winter 2013 In Service, Wayne Crumb 0630 DCM Future Area Assembly Events A topic for the upcoming Assembly will be Group Safety, with a 3-person panel. There will also be a DCM Summit. More details will follow. Contact Wayne C. at Triple Cities Intergroup! TCI Attend the monthly Intergroup meeting! All are welcome: last Sunday of the month. YWCA, 40 Hawley Street, Binghamton, 2nd floor gym at 12:30 PM The spirit of rotation has resulted in a new committee chair for this paper. Jeff J. will chair for two years, beginning in January He will be asking more of you to share your experience, strength, and hope. You are encouraged to write, electronically or on paper, or contact Jeff or Sober Times staff to tell your story. Do you have an upcoming AA-related event? Please give us the details to publish. We will try to print photos as well. Did you know that a color copy of the latest edition of the Sober Times can be found at Use this paper to enhance and support your sobriety by sharing with fellow alcoholics. Thank you for your continued support, The Sober Times staff Contact Jeff J. at thesobertimes@outlook.com or (607)

3 THE SOBER TIMES Winter Issue No. 65 PAGE 3 What is normal? Growing up around alcoholics can seem completely normal if that s all you have known. When every experience of your life up to adulthood is fueled by alcohol, accepted, and joked about by family members, outsiders living in different situation will seem crazy to you. Throughout my life I have witnessed countless fights between my parents, some that resulted in a lot of broken things (never physically abusive though), seeing my father arrested on multiple occasions, yelling, crying, punching things, threatening people, etc. Again, all completely normal to me. I remember going to work with him when I was a kid, which was basically a genius deal he had made which paid very well, and required little work. Most of the work day was spent on a barstool. I didn t care, we were having quality time, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I was the best 8-year-old pool shooter around. Fast forward to my high school and college years. Getting drunk was cool, and accepted by all. People who didn t were dorks. The bar scene was a great time in my life (so I thought). I would drink, act like a jerk, start fights, and drive home (sound familiar?). Driving drunk was not only a weekend tradition; it was also a fun challenge. I enjoyed it for some sick reasons, like running into things, driving fast and aggressively. After being arrested twice myself (not for DWI), I knew it was time for a change. So, for a month I was as sober as could be. Then, back at it with passion. I slowly became a daily drinker, especially during my unemployed stages. An Irish Coffee in the morning was how I began the day. Drinking most of the day, and passing out on the couch, usually with a garbage can next to me. On one occasion, I was on the couch with my garbage can, and received a text from my wife who was out of town visiting her sister. It was a picture of a positive pregnancy test. I was shocked, nauseous, and confused. My life was about to change. The next year or so, I continued with my drinking, while relations with my wife dwindled. I had more fire in my eye for whiskey than for her. Nothing was getting through to me. It would surely take a miracle to turn this rig around. The miracle(s) have been my children. Not through their actions, but through my actions reflecting what I grew up seeing. Why should they see and experience what I have? Why should I put my wife through what my mom went through? I was at a cross road. On October 21, 2012 I had my last drink. I was partying at a friends house, and decided to take a cab home. I don t remember much about the ride being drunk at 3am, but I remember not being on a direct route home as I requested. We went all over, and this cabbie was picking up his friends, who also appeared to be in the same mental state as me. I ended up getting out, and walking home. The next day was a rough one. Pounding headache, hungover terribly, and a very displeased wife holding our year old daughter. She had had enough at this point, and so had I. I had promised many times to stop drinking, but this time I knew I meant it. I remember crying like a baby. She quit drinking as well (which wasn t much anyway), and we have been stronger than ever. We now have 3 kids together, and I can happily say they have no memories of my being a drunk. I am proud of that. My wife, my kids, and my rekindled relationship with God have made all this possible, and anyone who is reading this, and struggling, please know that if you ask God for help, and genuinely want to accept it, it will come. I have faith that the Lord will keep me on the right track. 5 years sober is one of my best accomplishments, and everyday it gets a little bit easier for me. -Anonymous Life alone without her was tough and it just seemed for a while to get even tougher as time went by. With the help of A.A. and my friends, I made it through that and continued on, even though sometimes I didn t want to go on. I continued to go to meetings and got through it with a lot of help. For a while, it was just putting one foot in front of the other and do what I was taught to do in A.A. That doesn t mean I miss her any less. I still miss her today. Then in October of the following year, I was doing some yard work and I collapsed in the backyard. This stubborn alcoholic got himself up and went in the house and went to bed. I got up five hours later and I felt fine. I got myself ready and went to an A.A. meeting and then came home and went back to bed. I got up the following morning and was back outside working in the yard and I went down again. The only thing I did differently was when I was in the house, I called the Doctor this time and told them what happened. Of course, they wanted to make me wait a while for an appointment and I told them I couldn t wait. Then things started to happen. I had an appointment the following day! The doctor told me I had a slow heart rate and that was causing the way I felt. She told me to go home and sit in a chair, do nothing physical, and that they would be in touch. This was over the weekend, so she prescribed me some medicine and sent me home. They called on Monday and I had to be put on a heart monitor, so back to the chair I went. I had to do this for a month and time went by, with follow-ups. I got worse as we were waiting to see if the government was going to OK a pacemaker. Months went by. I went into the hospital with a heart catheterization on January 19, 2016, and in the following week, had open heart surgery and a three-way bypass done, with months of recuperation. I thought I was doing fine until the end of June, and spent a terrible July and part of August. I ended up firing the doctor and got a new one- the meds the old doctor had placed me on slowed my heart even more and I had a heart rate of 40. My new doctor scheduled me for another heart catheterization and I was then told that my bypass was a complete failure. Over the weekend, I had my son take me to Temple, PA, where my brother was dying of lung cancer. As I was walking into the hospital, I got a phone call from Columbia Hospital in New York City, and I was told to report there at 8:00 AM the following Monday morning. I had six stents put in my heart. I was told later that they didn t expect me to survive. I m so grateful to A.A. and all my friends in the program that stood by me and helped me through all this. I never realized that I had to many friends as I do today. I am grateful for each and every one of you and my Higher Power or I might not have got through this. The amazing part for me is that, through all of this, I thank God I never once thought about drinking. God bless you all. Putting One Foot In Front of the Other I am an alcoholic named Glenn. I started my journey into sobriety June 23, 1983 and am very grateful that I was sent to A.A. by our court system. Sometimes, I wish that the judge that sent me here was still alive, so I could personally thank him, because back then I couldn t see anything good about me. I was the scum of the earth. I m very grateful for being sober these last three years because I know me. It started three years ago, when I lost my dear wife of almost 49 years. We missed our 49 th anniversary by 20 days. Her work on earth was done. I really wonder sometimes how she put up with me that long, but I can tell you for sure, as the years passed, it just seemed to get better. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. This prayer was written by Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr around An early member of A.A. read it in an obituary, liked it, and brought it to G.S.O., then on Vesey Street, NYC, in Bill W. and the staff read the little prayer and felt it suited the needs of A.A. Cards were printed and passed around, and the prayer became part of A.A. literature. -adapted from A.A. Exchange Bulletin, July 1961.

4 THE SOBER TIMES Winter Issue No. 65 PAGE 4 TRIPLE CITIES INTERGROUP ELECTION RESULTS Officers and Committee Chairpersons will serve for 2 years, beginning in January, Newly elected chairpersons: STCYPAA Presents Bowling For Bob! Saturday, January 27, Laurel Bowl, 137 Laurel Ave., Binghamton, NY $15/person includes 3 games, shoes, pizza, snacks, and a great speaker! Come bowl in honor of Dr. Bob!! TCI Chair: Russell R. ruxxdeluxx@gmail.com Answering Service: Donna G. donnaginrecovery@gmail.com (H) (cell) CPC- Information unavailable at press time Literature: Sandi S. twiggi34@gmail.com Meeting Lists: Gail R. contact info in next issue Special Needs: Tom S. (607) Leave message you are calling re A.A. Treatment: Russell C. contact info in next issue Sober Times: Jeff J. thesobertimes@outlook.com We need a chairperson for the Public Information Committee. Interested? Come to the next Triple Cities Intergroup meeting: Last Sunday of the month YMCA, 80 Hawley Street Binghamton, NY 12:30 PM, 2nd floor gymnasium Look for a full listing of committees, chairs, and contact information in the next issue of The Sober Times. Salt City Mid-Winter Roundup A.A. Convention with Al-Anon and Alateen Participation Forever Growing Together February 9-11, 2018 Register online Holiday Inn 7th North Street and Electronics Pkwy. Liverpool, NY TCI Presents: NEW YEAR S EVE ALKA- THON! Sunday, December 31, 7 PM First speaker 8:30 PM Conklin First Baptist Church, 91 Baldwin St, Binghamton (enter on the Hayes St. side) 2 Speakers, Sobriety Countdown, Dance, and Marathon Meetings until 5 AM Ring in a SOBER New Year! To be of service, contact Adam G Bridging the Gap Help someone who is just out of rehabilitation or incarceration. You can be the hand of A.A. that reaches out share meeting information and help someone get on their feet. Information and a form may be gotten from our Treatment Chair (information above), your GSR, or at under the Treatment tab. See pamphlet P-49 for details. Contact this newspaper at:

5

6