Changes. Do you find your mental health has a negative impact when you go on holiday? What strategies do you use to help you cope?

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1 Hi Everybody! We ve had some excellent news in the Changes Office with regard to securing the future of Changes. We applied for a grant from the Tudor Trust which is an independent grant-making trust which supports voluntary and community groups working in the UK. The Tudor Trust helps smaller, community-led groups of people at the margins of society - and that s us! The Tudor Trust have very generously granted us some funding which makes up a sizeable chunk of the total funding we need to keep operating as we are doing with our regular weekly support meetings around Bristol. We still have some way to go on the funding front but it s a fantastic start and we feel really motivated to get out there and show other potential funders what brilliant work we do in our local community! In other news, our Changes Signposting Guide has been painstakingly updated by Thom - thanks Thom! This document tells you about organisations other than Changes that may be able to help you with things like your mental health needs, living a healthy life and expanding your social network. The guide can be accessed at all Changes meetings (just ask if you don t know where it s kept!) and can be viewed or downloaded from our Secret Facebook Group in the Files section. Although Thom has provided information about each organisation, he thought it would be great if Changes members who have actually used the services could write a few sentences about their experiences which he could then add to the document. If you can help with this please your feedback to: Do you find your mental health has a negative impact when you go on holiday? What strategies do you use to help you cope? Nobody has responded and offered to share their mental health experiences. We urgently need someone with experience of anxiety or depression. We just need you to answer a few questions and we can do the rest. If you can help with either of the above please contact Changes Our next session is Wednesday15th May 10.30am-12.30pm You are welcome to just turn up on the day but our space and places available are limited and priority will be given to people who book in advance. You can book your place by ing your first name and group to: or texting Disclaimer: Changes Bristol holds no responsibility for external links, events, services or organisations provided in our newsletter. Any information given in no way represents endorsement by Changes Bristol or any of its affiliates. Any content provided is purely for informative reasons and all activities should be taken at your own risk.. This newsletter is distributed not only to Changes members, but members of other organisations or interested parties. Please bear this in mind if you are writing a contribution for the newsletter and wish to maintain your anonymity.

2 Positive Minds Want to meet other people in a similar situation? Come along to the Positive Minds "Drop in" coffee mornings once a month. A chance to meet others and find out what is going on in the Hartcliffe and Withywood area. They have meetings at Symes Community Building from 10:30 to 12:30 PM, on the following days: 15th May and 19th June 2013 For more information call Positive Minds on or The library now has 5 new titles! Defeat Depression by Dr Sabina Dosani Sunbathing in the Rain by Gwyneth Lewis Stress Proof Your Life by Elisabeth Wilson Confidence Boosters - 10 Steps to Beating Self Doubt by Martin Perry The Career Guide for Creative and Unconventional People by Carol Eikleberry. If you d like to borrow any of these, or any of our other books, and can make it to the office in Barton Hill to collect and return them (by arrangement), then please Jason@changesbristol.org.uk or call the office on Please get in touch too if you have any books or CDs you could contribute to the collection! If you d like a full list of the books we now have in the Changes Library please let us know on and we ll one straight back to you.

3 As anyone with a pet knows, the rewards of companionship can be tremendous, and for those of us who struggle daily with mental illness, this can be felt even more so. Ten years ago, I was facing one of my biggest challenges. I was unable to cope with day to day life, hold down a job and had little motivation for anything. My depression had almost fully consumed me, and enjoyment was a feeling I could no longer remember. In an attempt to gain strength and to kindle some motivation, I decided that I would do something that I used to find both rewarding and enjoyable. I packed a rucksack and a tent and went to the Lake District to camp and walk the hills. This used to be my salvation. An escape from the stresses of life. I took along my Dog, Charlie, my faithful chocolate Labrador. I don t know quite what I expected to happen, but on arriving and putting up my tent, surrounded by the hills and fresh air, nothing had changed. I was still numb and didn t want to move or eat. The next day I tried a walk into the hills and began the long haul up to Grisedale Pike. A short way up I sat down, staring out to the hills on the opposite side of the valley. Tears streamed down my face but I still felt completely numb. I could have stayed there forever, staring into space. I had no inclination to move, what was the point? Charlie kept my spirits alive at some of my darkest moments. Quite frankly, sometimes he was a pain! Never taking no for an answer, he always needed his walk, and always needed his food (he is a Labrador!) I owe him a great debt. He kept me going when no words of wisdom could have done so. Charlie is still with me, older (not necessarily wiser!) he s now 13. He always has his wagging tail to greet me at the door, always needs his fuss, and always smiles when we go out for a walk. His hill walking days are behind him, but his place as the head of the family is assured. Hasson Mali, Changes member Fortunately for me, Charlie didn t understand why his walk should be halted. He was patient for a short time but soon began complaining that the fun had stopped. He sat by me for a while, and then began pushing his wet nose into my face, lifting up my chin. While I could have stayed there staring into space, Charlie was not having it. I talked to Charlie for a bit, using him almost as a therapist! It is amazing how he can look at me moving his head from side to side as if he knows exactly what I am saying. I finally got up and continued the walk. This would happen several times in the day as my will would give up, but Charlie s never did. After 8 hours walking we ended up back at the tent, tired but having achieved something.

4 What is psychosis? Psychosis is a very broad term that usually refers to a loss of contact with reality. It can involve confused thinking, false beliefs, hallucinations, changed feelings, changed behaviour and loss of insight. Psychosis can be a very serious and debilitating disorder that can cause great difficulty with social interaction and carrying out daily life activities. When and how did your psychosis start? While I was in my second year at university I started hearing a female voice saying my name. Over time she gradually started communicating with greater frequency, commenting on things I was doing and criticising me. I started seeing a physical manifestation of the voice I could hear as well as other people that my university friends were unable to perceive. I saw walls breathe and could hear sounds relating to past events. At the same time I began developing very strong beliefs that I was evil and my mere presence could harm those around me. How does it affect your life? It has a pretty big impact as the voice I hear speaks frequently and at length throughout every day. On a purely practical level this interferes with my ability to concentrate on tasks and makes it hard to follow and take part in conversations with people. The content of what my voice says can be very upsetting as I am constantly criticised and told to harm or kill myself; this contributes to my depression. When my psychosis is particularly bad the voice will scream at me for hours which I find distressing. My visual hallucinations frighten me and I can t watch horror films as they have so many elements of what I see and hear around me. I often perceive people watching me and can usually distinguish them from real people as they tend to have very fixed expressionless faces almost like dolls and their eyes look flat and dead. They don t move much but manage somehow to make me feel under threat and are very unnerving as is hearing and seeing the walls around me breathe. I feel full of evil and like I contaminate everything around me. I feel personally responsible if anyone I have even minimal contact with becomes ill or dies. The evilness also affects things, making everyday objects break or perform badly when I go near them. It pervades systems and structures making them fail. I blamed the poor care I received from secondary mental health services on employee s ability to detect the evilness within me and respond appropriately by trying to destroy me; I was convinced that the mental health system worked just fine till I came along and broke it. I don t find anti-psychotic drugs helpful because I am very sensitive to them and they cause me to have a reaction called parkinsonism. I have, over the years, tried most of the common anti-psychotic drugs but was only ever able to manage tiny doses coupled with an anti-parkinsonism drug and this was not enough to affect my psychosis in any way. What helps you? Cognitive Behaviour Therapy has helped me to modify my behaviour by learning positive habits. If I think I may be hallucinating I have learned to check what people around me are perceiving and can tell myself that my mind is just playing tricks on me again. I also refer to trusted people when I have distressing beliefs and try to take on board their perceptions of the situation. Schema Therapy helps me to identify the different schemas (self-defeating life patterns of perception, emotion, and physical sensation) I have in operation such as my I m Evil schema and how to implement my Healthy Adult mode. When for example, I think I am about to cause a train crash by getting on a train I have to remind myself that my Evil schema has taken charge and ask myself what I in my Healthy Adult mode would have to say about this. A high dose of an antidepressant has been helpful in that it stabilised my mood which enabled me to cope better with the symptoms of psychosis. I find a calm and unstimulating environment helpful but have to watch out as I have a propensity to isolate myself and withdraw from contact with people. Practical and repetitive activities can also be very calming. Going to Changes meetings has enabled me to build positive relationships with non-judgemental people and has led to volunteering for the charity. By volunteering I feel able to compensate for the harm I believe I am causing and can balance things out by taking on tasks and responsibilities that help people and make me feel useful instead of destructive. We are looking for people with depression, anxiety or other mental health problems. Could you share your mental health experiences with our readers? You could write about them yourself or arrange to be interviewed either in person or via /facebook for future issues. If you would like to help then please contact

5 Second Step have developed a six day course for people who have experience of mental health issues, which aims to discuss and explore mental health recovery principles and practical tools. The course has been written and is delivered by Second Step staff and service users who all have personal experience of mental health issues and recovery. Venue: The RNIB Centre (Action for Blind People), 10 Stillhouse Lane, Bedminster, Bristol, BS3 4EB Thursday 16 th May Introduction to Recovery Thursday 23 rd May Personal Identities Thursday 30 th May Self Management Thursday 6 th June Communication Thursday 13 th June Using Support Thursday 20 th June Where Next? The course includes a lot of exercises, trying things out and being a bit creative. All participants will receive workbooks and the course will include some note taking and reflecting on your learning. The course is FREE to Bristol residents, but Second Step ask people to cover travel expenses and provide their own lunch. If you are interested in participating please contact Amanda Headley-White on or learning@second-step.co.uk Avon and Wiltshire Mental Health Partnership, or AWP, have run mental health services in Bristol for several years. After less than a month from taking over responsibility for commissioning these services, doctors in Bristol have now put this contract up to tender, with a new provider taking over from the autumn of Dr Martin Jones, Chairman of Bristol Clinical Commissioning Group was quoted in The Bath Chronicle as saying This decision is a clear message that Bristol Clinical Commissioning Group hears and acts on feedback about services. As clinical leaders we were told patients and GPs were not happy with mental health services in Bristol and we have resolved to re-procure them. We want a local, responsive, city-wide mental health service for Bristol. The CCG said more than 70 organisations had already expressed an interest in bidding for the services. The decision comes after NHS Bristol Primary Care Trust announced plans last year to recommission these services, due to concerns about service quality from AWP. An NHS report had found that the Trust was target driven, bureaucratic and controlling, with a weak clinical voice in decision making. It also raised concerns over aspects of safety and highlighted an urgent need to change culture and leadership. The Bristol Post quoted Dr James Eldred, the recently appointed AWP clinical director for Bristol, as saying: "We understand that the problems of the past have led to this decision and we recognise the reasons for the CCG's decision to continue to tender other mental health services. However, we believe that changes made over the past six months put us in a strong position to deliver further improvement and we remain committed to being a key player in the provision of mental health services in Bristol."