Healing and Recovery After Cancer Treatment Going Gently

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1 Healing and Recovery After Cancer Treatment Going Gently 790 Commissioners Road East London, Ontario N6A 4L6 Telephone: "It is in the addressing the fear and grieving the loss I feel that I am able to move on with more con idence and even joy. I would call this healing." Pauline, LRCP patient. 790 Commissioners Road East London, Ontario N6A 4L June

2 Canadian Cancer Society Peer support, resources, support groups. Daya Counseling Centre A variety of counselors and subsidized counseling (usually have wait list for subsidy.) Family Service Thames Valley, London A variety of counselors and subsidized counseling (usually have wait list for subsidy) Counseling is available up to approximately 6 months after active treatment at LRCP with Helen Butlin Ext For Social Work Counseling, Contact Supportive Care at and ask to speak with the Social Worker for your oncology team 9

3 of your heart and body in your day to day. Cancer and treatment can be traumatic yet you have come through it. Focus on one day at a time and give something nourishing to yourself each and every day. By doing this you may ind that a deeper inner strength is forming within you and your days more often illed with feeling better. You may ind you are stronger and focus on what is truly important to you in a different way than before your diagnosis. Give yourself credit for having come through the diagnosis and treatment no matter what the outcome...you ve done it and you have today! Contact Information Helen Butlin, MDiv.; Ph.D (Candidate) Registered Psychotherapist (RP)& Specialist in Spiritual Care (CASC) Supportive Care Dept., London Regional Cancer Program Phone: Ext helen.butlin@lhsc.on.ca soul-medicine-dissolving-the-fear-factor Supportive Care, Social Worker Team, London Regional Cancer Program: Phone: Ext Wellspring, London & Region: Offer a variety of cancer support programs at no charge. Call for current programs running. A Time for Healing... It is helpful to frame the irst year after active treatment for cancer as 'Healing and Recovery". Mind-body-spirit all take time to recover and heal. There have been many changes that have taken place in your life and body. Tips for managing stress and recovery are in this online talk: If you are discharged into surveillance for a cancer that is not curable, this may be the most challenging time of the process since diagnosis. If you ve been told by your doctors that your cancer is gone, you may still ind yourself in a highly fragile emotional state. It is important to give yourself lots of permission to take time to heal emotionally, spiritually and physically from the impact of your diagnosis and treatment this can take, for many, a good year. Post Treatment Emotions... You may ind after treatment that instead of feeling relieved and happy, you feel a range emotions such as sad, irritable, depressive, weepy, lonely, scared. These are very normal feelings. Many have said to me in this time, I don t know what s wrong with me. I should be feeling happy because I m supposed to be able to get back to my life now but I don t. I m scared. One person described it in this way, "I feel like I've been on a bus with my bags leaving my life that I can never go back to. Now, after my treatment is over, I am dropped off the bus with my bags and I have no idea where I'm going and I m all alone." Often family and friends are ready to move on and are celebrating the end of your treatment process 8 1

4 and yet you may ind yourself not ready to celebrate, nor feel that the trauma is over. A Time for Grieving Much has changed since the cancer diagnosis. Your whole life, body and self may feel shattered and permanently altered by your experience. The changes to your body and therefore, your identity, can provoke a painful grief process. You may ind yourself grieving that your body is no longer what it was and having to ind a deep resilience to live with the daily symptoms and impact of this. These changes may be straining your relationships and your sense of vitality for living. Work with your doctors for optimal symptom management of the bodily changes you ve undergone. It takes time to reconcile with these changes. Give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you feel and don t try to put a brave face on when it s not true. Grief is normal, very real and takes time and support to heal your heart. Healing can and will happen over time and with gentleness to yourself in this process. Stay close with people who understand and who get you without having to put a I m ok face on, if you re not feeling ok that day. Beyond Survival Mode During treatment you can be in survival mode putting one foot in front of the other. Your life is illed with appointments, support and contact with many people from your health care team and your friends and family. With the absence of the treatment regime there is time to think and process. This is often when some ind themselves overwhelmed. After treatment many ind that the loss of Hope may have to be rede ined but authentic hope can be grounded in the real of today trusting that what you need for each day can ind you. This kind of grounded hope can source much inner strength despite the grief and struggle you may be feeling on a given day. Helpful Healing and Recovery Medicines Lots of time in nature, the best healer. Laughter... watch comedies and feel good movies. Keep fear out. Keep out media that feeds fear in our minds. Challenge fear thoughts with a different, authentically hopeful story (see Soul-Medicine video for more on this). Human connection. Time with friends that allow you to just be where you are. Explain to your family what you re feeling and that this is normal. Gentle walks. Talking through your fears with a wise listener who does not try to ix them. Creative activities try something new or do what is familiar that you enjoy. Meditation it s easier in a group and there are groups run by Wellspring, Hospice, yoga centres. Feeling your feelings rather than stuf ing them and moving on. Seek help if you re struggling. Most importantly be very gentle with yourself Give yourself permission to live the year after treatment as your 'Healing and Recovery" time. You will ind slowly that a new way of living emerges. Go gently and include nurturing 2 7

5 the midst of all kinds of grief reactions including spiritual pain and struggle. This is a time when you may need more support from others to gently care for you while you come to terms with this new reality. Your family and friends may also be struggling so sometimes they are not able to support you in the most helpful ways. They too may need support. Again, this can be a time when professional counseling from a therapist and/or spiritual counselor can guide and support you through the grief and assist you in refocusing your energy on what is nurturing, meaningful and purposeful in your day to day within the new limitations you are now living. Hope is never lost, it just changes over time and the situation we ind ourselves in today. There is always a place for hope. Discovering what this means for you, now, each and every day is part of what counselling can offer. It takes time but you will discover that even with a terminal diagnosis life can become richer and illed with the really important things in life, love, hope, friendship, inner balance, a sense of wholeness matter what is happening. There is a way through anything and our hearts have a wisdom that can ind that way, with the right supports. Many resources are available that can help you ind your own way to strength, hope and inner balance. We can help you identify the ones that might be right for you. CancerChat.ca has online groups for different areas you may want to explore. Canadian Cancer Society has resources, as well as Wellspring.ca. contact with the health care team is just that, a loss even though it s a relief not to be in active treatment. Sometimes the support that gathers around you in your community during diagnosis and treatment slows down once it s over, yet you feel more in need of support than ever. Some feel a more acute fear than ever before because they are facing a 'new normal' with the possibility of recurrence in it. Some have described feeling paralyzed by this fear. You may bene it from counseling support during this time to assist you in processing the psychological trauma of having gone through cancer and the rigors of treatment. This can be a time where you can call the Supportive Care team at LRCP for Social Work counselling or spiritual support for rediscovering who you are now, and living life for today, hope for tomorrow and putting the worries and fears aside. Programs in the community such as Wellspring can help in you in this transition time Mind-Body-Spirit Integration and Healing... You mind, body and spirit need time to recover. Healing is different from surviving. Surviving is putting one foot in front of the other. Healing is feeling a sense of ground under our feet, and inner balance for living just right now, just for today. As your body slowly recovers from the side effects of treatments, your heart and spirit may go through their own healing process. Questions about mortality, meaning and purpose in your life may arise at this time after the busy time of active treatment is over. Some ind questions about living and dying in their minds far more than they used to be. Many feel they are reeling from the impact of confronting their mortality through the 6 3

6 cancer and need support in integrating this more real awareness. Often this is the most fruitful time to bene it from counseling as the deeper questions about what you really want out of your life can now be focused on more actively. Fear of recurrence is very normal. It may not go away entirely but it can become part of a daily practice that puts fear second and puts you and today irst. Examples of questions that have brought people to counseling and spiritual care after active cancer treatment are: How do I want to live my life now because I don t to waste a second more of my precious time? What is truly important to me in life I ve lost my bearings? What do I want to teach my children about life and coping with struggle? I m no longer who I was what do I want to focus on in my life? I don t know what I believe anymore How do I live with the fear of recurrence? Sessions support you to explore these questions and ind your own unique 'new way' of living your life with meaning, purpose and renewed trust and hope. You can learn to put fear second and instead, put living irst and foremost one day at a time. Post treatment spiritual counseling sessions are available from Helen Butlin in Spiritual Care up to six months after treatment. Post Traumatic Stress... Post traumatic stress symptoms may also happen. These can include hypervigilance about personal safety or the safety of loved ones, dif iculty sleeping, racing thoughts, lashbacks to the most dif icult moments of the past few months since diagnosis, anxiety that you and makes you try to control everything around you. These are normal at irst and will slowly lessen over time but if they intrude with your ability to function in the day to day, are impacting your relationships continue over a few months you will bene it from talking with your family doctor and also seek counseling with a trained therapist focusing on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. There are interventions that can help these symptoms. Children and Recovery If you have children you may notice that they are manifesting some of these symptoms too. If you notice greater anxiety, withdrawal or signi icant changes in your children's personalities and behaviour, take them to a counselor specializing with children. You can contact Social Work in Supportive Care at LRCP for resources in this area. When Cure Is Not An Option If cure is not an option then living with this reality can be extremely dif icult. Ending active treatment yet without the hope of cure can be a time of great fear, sadness and loneliness even when surrounded by loved ones. If cure was a possibility at the beginning of your treatment but now you ve been told it is not an option then your future has changed radically. As a result, you may ind yourself in 4 5